from Hollywood Colgate Toothpounder presents the Mel Blank Show with Mary Jane Thorpe, Joe Kerns, Jerry Hausner, Hans Connery, the sportsman, Victor Miller and his orchestra and starring the creator of the voice of Bugs Bunny. What's up Dad? Yes, Colgate Toothpounder for a breath that's sweet and teeth that sparkle brings you the Mel Blank Show with Mel playing his new character Zookie. Hello everybody, hello everybody, hello everybody, ha ha ha, hi. And starring himself in person, Mel Blank. Hi folks. Ugga ugga boo, ugga boo boo, ugga. The Mel Blank Show with Mel playing his new character Zookie. Well, it's Christmas Eve and in Mel Blank's little town, all the, I'll let it go until the last minute, waynes are feverishly buying gifts for their girlfriends. In the furriers we hear, this is a beautiful fur coat, fine I'll take it with me. And further down the street we hear, this is a beautiful handbag, good, wrap it up for me. And still further down the street where Mel Blank is engaged in getting a gift for his girlfriend Betty, we hear, this is a beautiful watch. Thanks, but can't you loan me more than five dollars on it? So Mel pawned the watch and now we find him back in the fix-it shop figuring up the amount he has for Betty's gift. Now let's see, I borrowed five, I pawned the watch for five, I closed out my savings account at the bank, that's another dollar. Eleven dollars. What can I get Betty? Oh I know, every time I go to her house and we sit in the parlor, the lights go out. I ought to get her a flashlight. No, a flashlight isn't a gift for a woman. It isn't a gift for a man either. It's really a gift for an usher. Oh well it's late, I better close the fix-it shop and buy the gift. Oh Mel. Oh hello Betty, I didn't expect to see you here. I thought you'd be busy at your father's big Christmas party. How's it coming along? Oh fine, except for Willie Murdock. He's awfully fresh you know, as soon as he came in he tried to kiss me. Kiss you? Why I'll kill him. Guys Mel, you should see how strong Willie is since he took those barbell exercises. Strong? Well Betty, it's a free country, every man can do what he wants. Oh Mel, when you talk like that I sometimes think you don't love me at all. Oh you know I do Betty. Gosh, if we were only married, how wonderful it would be. Yeah, every Christmas we'd have a tree. And I'd come down the chimney and on the mantelpiece would be your stocking and my stocking. And there'd be another stocking or two or even three. Betty, how many feet does your father have? Gee, I wish I'd been invited to your father's party. Oh well Mel, that's what I came down here for. To invite me? Yes, in fact father said, Betty I want to make it possible for Mel Blanc to feel the warmth of Christmas spirit. Well I don't know Betty, last time your father said that he got me halfway to the furnace. Holy silly darling, come on they must be looking for me at the party. Okay Betty, oh wait a minute, I've got to get something very important. I'll tell you what, you go on and I'll be there in a short while. Yeah, if it's that important, alright. I'll see you later darling. Bye. Oh what can I get for Betty? Gosh she sure is beautiful. She looks just like the cover girl on this month's drill press digest. This conveyor belt of 1947. Hello Mel. Oh hello Mrs. Bradley, and Merry Christmas. What brings you in here at this late hour? Well Mel, you've been so nice all year fixing all of little Barbie's broken toys that I thought I'd bring you a Christmas present. Here. Oh gee, thanks Mrs. Bradley. Just what I've always wanted, a dollar bill. Oh oh there's some writing here, to Mel, a Merry Christmas and a Happy Henry Morgan Saw Jr. Oh I'm reading your writing and the government. Well I've got to close up Mrs. Bradley, a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Uh, what's the matter Mrs. Bradley? Oh I was just thinking, you know Mel, Bobby and I are alone and for the past few years we haven't had any Santa Claus come down our chimney. Well it's gotten so that Bobby doesn't believe there is a Santa Claus. Oh gosh that's one of the worst things I know, a kid not believing in Santa Claus. Well I've got to go Mrs. Bradley. Mel, I was just thinking that if you don't have anything important to do tonight, maybe you'd play Santa Claus for my Bobby. Me play Santa? Uh huh. Oh but Mrs. Bradley I've got a very important... Oh. No. I don't have anything to do anyway, not anything that's more important than making a kid believe in Santa Claus. I'll come down that chimney tonight. Oh, oh Zookie. Oh that's wonderful. Yeah Mel. Oh, oh hello Mrs. Bradley. Thanks. Now look Zookie, I want you to go over to Betty's house and tell her I'm sick. But Mel, what can he say is wrong with you? Anything. Tell Betty I was bitten by a streptococcus. No, no, she just saw me. Oh I know, tell her I'm in the hospital. I tried to mail a package at the last minute. Mrs. Bradley, tonight I'm going to convince your son that there is a Santa Claus. Now hurry up Zookie. Oh thanks Mel. Oh and leave it to me Mel. Hi-yo Stree... Hi-yo Stree... Stree... Stree... Stree... Hi-yo Blitzen. Oh hello there Zookie. Hello everybody. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year. Good morning Zookie. Well how do you like me in my new dress Zookie? Cute. Hey everybody, you want to hear me sing a Christmas carol? Why yes Zookie, go right ahead. Oh okay, okay. In my, in my, in my, in my, in my, in my, in my Marriot's mobile, in my Marriot's mobile, in my Marriot's mobile, in my Marriot's mobile, in my Marriot's mobile, in my Marriot's mobile, with a one horse open sleigh. Hey, hey Zookie, where's Mel Blank? Oh wait, that's what I can't tell you. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hey, hey that's what I can't tell you. He can't come. He's got the moon in the moon in the moon in the moon. He's got the bee. He's got chicken for the chicken for the. He can't make up his mind what he's got. I don't know. Sounds very fishy to me. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a date with another girl. He had. I mean, you know. You mean he went out with another girl? Zookie, who is she? Well she's a we, we're, I mean, there isn't a, he ain't going out with, no, no. I went out with him and he...no, no...he...I... He...I... I... And besides, I promise not to tell. And he is going out with another girl. Ah, you see? What did I tell you, Mr. Calder? Betty, I told you that, Mel Blank, the scoundrel. Boy, I'm gonna break every bone in his body. Oh, Ed, he...well, it was... Mel was in there, it was a terrible situation. He's doing somebody a favor. Betty thinks he's doing something... Let's sing Christmas Carol. I'm Ariel. No kisses for you, niece of Mistletoe. Perhaps a breath of trouble scared off your bow. It's just too bad when that breath of trouble, I mean, unpleasing breath, catches up with a person. For it marks them down socially. So be on your guard. Do this. Brush your teeth night and morning and before every date with Colgate Tooth Powder. For Colgate Tooth Powder cleans your breath as it cleans your teeth. Yes, scientific tests have definitely proved that in seven cases out of ten, Colgate Tooth Powder instantly stops unpleasing breath that originates in the mouth. What's more, no dentifers at any price cleans your teeth more quickly and thoroughly than Colgate Tooth Powder. Remember to buy it first thing. And remember the name, Colgate Tooth Powder, with the accent on powder. Don't take a chance with your romance Use Colgate Tooth Powder And now Mel Blank joins the sportsman and Victor Miller in a holiday arrangement of Jingle Bells. Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Dashing through the snow In a one-horse open sleigh Over the fields we go Laughing all the way Sounds on poppies ring Making spirits bright What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Jingle all the way What fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh Jingle Bells Jingle Jingle Little Bells Jingle all the way What fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh Jingle Jingle Little Bells Jingle all the way What fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh Jingle Little Bells Jingle Little Bells Applause Well, Mel is in a jam again. His girl Betty thinks he's out with another girl. But actually, Mel has promised Willow Bradley he would play Santa Claus for her little son tonight. But no matter how much trouble he has, the wonderful thing about Mel is that he can always concentrate on his duties in the fixer shop. Right now, his brilliant mind tackles the difficult problem of repairing a priceless violin left by a customer. Josh, why did I ever promise Mrs. Bradley I'd go to her house? With skilled fingers and expert eye, he delicately tunes the sensitive insulin. Well, I'm glad I did. The most important thing I could do is make a child believe in Santa Claus. Now, having completed the masterful repairs, he gently places the rare violin under his chin, raises the precious bow, and draws it across the muted string. Jingle Nothing like classical music. Gee, I gotta run over to Mrs. Bradley's. I'll try to call Betty once more. Hello? Hello, can I speak to Betty? Listen, Blank, how many times do I have to tell you Betty doesn't want any part of you? What? But Willie! All right, Willie, I'll talk to him. So you are going out with enough... Now, Blank, I never want to see you again. And furthermore, I wouldn't marry you on a bet. Oh, Betty, you can't mean that. You are going to be the mother of my children. Well, it's too late. Well, I don't mind about myself, Betty, but... What am I going to tell all those kids? Betty, if you don't give me a chance to explain, I'll drown myself. I'll go right out and throw myself in the reservoir. I don't care. Betty, do you realize you have to drink that water? You have nothing more to say to me, Mel Blank. Goodbye. Oh, who has time for petty arguments? I gotta go. I've got a big job to do today. Uh-oh, here comes Mr. Cushing, my lodge president. Hello, Mel. Hugga-booga-booga-booga-booga. Greetings, mighty potentate. Hugga-booga-booga-booga-booga. Well, what's the matter, mighty potentate? You're not looking so well. Well, Mel, I woke up this morning on my left side. Oh, what's so bad about that? That's the side that faces my wife. Every morning I get up and there she is, yawnin' with her mouth wide open. I tell you, Mel, it's like livin' in the rose bowl. Oh, I don't know, mighty potentate. You can find beauty in every person if you only dig deep enough. Mel, I have no room in my garage for a steam shovel. And now she's got that new mine detector in the house. Mine detector? Yeah, every time I put my hand in a purse with some extra cash, she yells, Stop, that's mine! What a woman, if you'll pardon the expression. But I don't know why I'm telling you all this. It's just that I've got no one to talk to. Well, so long, Mel. I suppose I'll see you at Toby's party. Well, I'm not going there, mighty potentate. I promised to play Santa Claus for little Bradley's boy, Bobby. Well, that's a noble gesture, my boy. Well, I can't stop the talk now, Mel. I gotta go to Colby's and I have to get a substitute present for my wife. But you told me you got her one last week. Oh, I did. I had it all Christmas wrapped, a title red bow on it, put a Do Not Open Till Xmas sticker on it, and I hid it under her bed. Well, don't tell me she opened it before Christmas. Yeah, during the night she heard the darn thing ticking. Well, put on, Mel. Goodbye, mighty potentate, a merry boo and a happy new ugga to you. Well, I gotta get a Santa Claus suit and go to Mrs. Bradley's now. I never thought it would get me in so much trouble, but it's worth it if I make that kid believe in Santa Claus. MUSIC Gosh, Mom, let's go to sleep. It's nine thirty already. Let's not be so hasty, Bobby. What would you say if a man came down the chimney? I'd say, look, Mom, a burglar. Well, I'm going upstairs anyway. I'm tired. Night, Mom. Merry Christmas. Oh, just a moment, Bobby. I think I... Whoa, Santa! Whoa, Santa! Watch that first step! Whoa! Missed that first step. Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas, Bobby! Hey, Mom, look. What is it? That's Santa Claus, Bobby. That's right, my boy. It just came from my igloo. Igloo? What's that? A Quantet hut made out of ice cubes. Oh, it was cold and barren, but I was lucky to get it. It was formerly owned by a veteran. Mom, he really is Santa Claus. I told you, Bobby, there really is a Santa Claus. Only one? Why, there are hundreds. All over the world. In fact, I just came from the Santa Claus convention at the North Pole. A Santa Claus convention? Yes. You should have heard the Scandinavian Santa Claus. He said, I don't put you in a rigoletto, little girl, and boy, very happy. So, a Merry Christmas and a happy new smorgasmo. And the Santa Claus from Scotland got up and he said, How I ever become a Santa Claus, I'll never know. All I do is give things away. It ain't like me. Then the fellow from Italy got up. Do they have a Santa Claus in Italy, too? Sure, Giuseppe Claus. He got up and he said, I gotta do the worst job of all. There's a break in my back to carry this stuff. Every house has got to pay in the bambino. I gotta put on more help. Either that or my sledge has got to have a trailer. And then the Brazilian Santa Claus said to the convention, I hope you all have a very good Christmas and a happy new year. We're going to make all the kiddies very happy because our slogan is South America, give it away. And then the convention was closed by the Russian delegate and he sang, Love your lady, love your lady, the artiste is weak. The cross is not for you, the cross is for your mother. Fight! Merry Christmas! Santa, do you have any toys for me? Oh, Bobby, we mustn't ask for everything. You have your own toys. It isn't necessary for Santa to bring you a toy. Oh, that's quite all right, Mrs. Bradley. I have plenty of toys for Bobby. You have? Why, sure. I'll take them out of my bag. Here's roller skates, a water pistol, a chemical set and a hockey stick. Oh, please. Now, let's see now. Yep, $11 with. Oh! Hey, Mom, we've got everything this Christmas. Yes, Bobby, thank you, Santa. I wish we could have a big party for you, Santa. Oh, that's quite all right. We're having a great party right here. Let's sing, huh? Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride. Wonder what Betty's doing right now. Oh, come in. Well, hello, Mel. Merry Christmas. Oh, nothing. Merry Christmas. Mr. Cushing and Mr. Colby and... Betty. Mel, darling, mind you tell us Mr. Cushing explained everything. That's right, Mel, and I feel good. I almost feel good enough to go home and kiss my wife. Blindfolded, of course. Mel, my boy, you've done a wonderful thing. You wouldn't come to our party, so we brought the party to you. Oh, and here's some gifts for Bobby. Gungus Brown, didn't you have something? Oh, yeah. Here, Bobby, my boy. A hundred of them, and each one good for a soda. Gee, thanks, Mr. Brown. A box of straws. Oh, this is so wonderful. Everybody's here, the mayor, the chief of police, the... Hey, where's Willie Murdoch? That troublemaker. I fired him. What's more, I was going to break every bone in his body. On Christmas, Mr. Colby? Well, I thought of that, Mel, so I just broke every other bone. Gosh, Betty, that was a wonderful party, wasn't it? You were wonderful. This is the best Christmas I've ever had. Except for one thing. You got me a gift, and I haven't got a present for you. Oh, that's all right, darling. I know what you did with the money. And I'm going to give you a hug for the hockey stick, for the water pistol, for the chemical set, and two hugs for the roller skate. Why didn't I get Bobby that bag of jelly beans? Oh, wait a minute, Betty. I do have a Christmas present for you. You do? What is it? Come closer. Oh, Mel. Everybody's looking and listening. Listening? Where? Can't you see the microphone there? Oh, gosh. You can't do a thing around here without millions of people listening in. Well, we hope you keep on because we love it. Good night, folks, and a very Merry Christmas to you all. If you're looking for romance, be sure, be very sure, that no little breath of trouble, you know, unpleasing breath, will come between you and your heart's desire. Just do this. Brush your teeth night and morning and before every date with Colgate Tooth Powder. For Colgate Tooth Powder cleans your breath as it cleans your teeth. Yes, night and morning and before every date. Yes, scientific tests have definitely proved that in seven cases out of ten, Colgate Tooth Powder instantly stops unpleasing breath that originates in the mouth. As for cleaning, no dentiface of any price will clean your teeth more quickly and thoroughly than Colgate Tooth Powder. Remember the name Colgate Tooth Powder with the accent on powder. Don't take a chance with your romance. Use Colgate Tooth Powder. This is Bud Houston reminding you that Colgate Tooth Powder for a breath that's sweet and teeth that sparkle brings you the Mel Blanks show every Tuesday at this time. Be sure to join us again next Tuesday night for more fun with Mel and the people you meet in Mel Blanks' Fix It Shop. Say hello to Halo and goodbye to Delling Soap Films. Get Halo shampoo with any cosmetic company. The Mel Blanks show is written by Mac Benoist. This is PBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.
