And now the story of Dr. Kildare, starring Lou Ayers as Dr. Kildare and Lionel Barrymore as Dr. Gillespie. Blair General Hospital, one of the great citadels of American medicine. A clump of gray-white buildings planted deep in the heart of New York, the nerve center of medical progress, where great minds and skilled hands wage man's everlasting battle against death and disease. Blair General Hospital, where life begins, where life ends, where life goes on. Come in. Oh, Dr. Gillespie. Hey, did you get a summons up to Dr. Carew's office? I did just now. Yeah, I did too. What do you suppose the old goat wants this time? I don't know. Oh, probably someone on the board of directors has a tummy ache or an acute case of hypochondria. You know, he gets to be more and more of a nuisance every day. All the caroos in the world are nuisances, aren't they? Yes, and unfortunately the world is full of them. Well, shall we go up together? I'm ready. It's a doggone shame, you know, that we haven't got an apple to take along put on his desk. Why, Dr. Gillespie, you go wash your mouth out with soap. Why? You use the word apple. You know what they say, an apple a day does. Oh, yeah, yeah, keeps the doctor away. Isn't that a little corny, Killed Ed? I suppose it is, but it comes out in the best of visit times. Come on, let's report to headquarters. Good morning, teacher. You two dear fellows are never satisfied unless you have your little joke, are you? I don't think he liked our greeting, Dr. Gillespie. Oh, yes, I did. There's nothing I like better than to see high spirits in my assiduion. As long as they don't become high with spirits, eh, Dr. Caroo? Talk about corn. I say that's really good. As long as they don't become high with spirits. Get it, Gilled Ed? No, I don't. He means as long as they don't become intoxicated. He does? Of course he does. Don't you, Dr. Gillespie? Oh, I'm sorry I ever opened my big mouth. High spirit. I must remember to tell my wife that. Yes. Well, we've had our bit of fun. Now to more serious business. Boys, I have a problem. Yes, Dr. Grew? I need help and I know I can count on you. Can't I? To the death. Death. There we are. There's the spirit that has made Blair General Hospital what it is today. Gentlemen, I salute you. Gilled Ed, thank you. What's your problem, Dr. Grew? My wife's too fat. What did you say? I said my wife's too fat. Well, you don't need a diagnostician in the surgeon world. Oh, yes I do. All right, all right, all right. As a diagnostician, I can tell you right now that the reason she's too fat is because she overeats. And as a diagnostician, I can also inform you that it's impossible for a surgeon to operate as a cure for obesity. Is that correct, Dr. Gildare? Correct, Dr. Gildare. Now, now, now, now, don't be hasty. Gentlemen, I know that the proposed Neupolio hospital wing is dear to both your hearts. Yes, but what does that have to do with Mrs. Grew's weight? Everything, dear fellow, everything. I am planning a special benefit performance to be held in two months for the wing. A show, you know, singing, dancing, and famous personalities. All that. Still, I don't... Angela used to be quite a famous dancer. She wants to dance again. And I want her to dance again. Lots of people come to see her dance again, who remembered her from the days when she was the post of New York. Angela must be her old, slim, self-enchanting, adorable self. And she must dance her way once more into the hearts of this great, cold city and warm it, as she used to. A very pretty sentiment, and I appreciate your feeling, Dr. Grew, but what can we do about it? For the sake of the polio wing, get 20 pounds off Angela. Well, I've never handled a case just like this. No, neither have I. I knew you'd help me out. Now then, Angela will be at the hospital in an hour. I'll send her down to see you. Dear Dr. Kilbair and Dr. Gillespie, you sweet old grumpy you. Oh, I believe I'm going to kiss you. Oh, no, Angela, it isn't necessary to go to any such length. Oh, what a precious old grumpy. Well, Bumpy tells me that you two are going to make me thin. Bumpy? Dr. Grew. Oh, I didn't know. Well, we're going to do our best. Let's see, Mrs. Grew, you weigh according to our scale now 150 pounds. Don't say it so loud, it's embarrassing. We'll have to put you through a thorough physical examination, of course, before you can start your diet. But I want you to come in early in the morning for that. You'll have a basal metabolism test and you'll find your instructions written on this piece of paper. Well, of course, I don't know what's gotten into Bumpy. He used to say he didn't like girls that were like string beans. Well, 20 pounds from now, you're still going to be a long way from being a string bean, Angela. Well, I guess I'd better go out on a real binge this afternoon. Binge? What kind of binge? Maybe a double banana split binge. I will make just that much more. You'll have to take off. Oh, I'll worry about that tomorrow. See you both in the morning. Don't forget the paper with your instructions. Oh, yes, that's right. Well, toodle-oo. And toodle-oo. Oh, you sweet, precious grumpy you. Goodbye. Say, you know, I may throw up. I don't know. I certainly didn't study medicine and put in all that work to spend my time taking fat off people who just shovel it back onto themselves as fast as they can eat. That's right. Sure it is. That's right. It's a good point when you start to think about it. By carrying a lot of extra weight around, Angela is weakening her strength and shortening her life and spoiling her looks. Think we can get her to diet? Well, we better start looking for another hospital. Come in. Well, what two shining happy faces I see. Marley, have you any favorite way of taking off weight? Oh, sure. I bang this against the wall like this. Does it work? Well, I think so. Oh, did you two draw Mrs. Carew? Yeah, we certainly did. I just heard Dr. Carew giving a statement to the papers that she was to stage a comeback and for the sake of dear Blair General Hospital, would redo her famous dance of the willow. Oh, I'd better get back to work. Good afternoon, Dr. Carew. Oh, here are my great doctors. Dr. Brownlee, may I present Dr. Lesby and Dr. Killian. How do you do? Dr. Brownlee is a diet specialist in London. I just told him how you propose to take 20 pounds off Mrs. Carew by your unique and original scientific methods. And he has asked permission to observe you at work, which I have given him. He's terribly grateful. Oh, quiet. Well, we're glad to have you, doctor, but we haven't actually started on the case yet. We're beginning our examinations of Mrs. Carew in the morning. Quiet. I know you'll enjoy having this learned colleague with you. I'll just leave you boys to get acquainted. Quiet. Hello, doctor. How long have you been in New York, Dr. Brownlee? One week. You enjoying yourself? Quiet. Where have you been since you arrived? No, please. Oh, well, would you like to look around the town? No, thank you. I imagine you miss England. Quiet. What time is it? My work. Five o'clock already. It's time for my visit. I'm sorry to tear myself away, but you understand how it is, Dr. Brownlee. Dr. Kildare will entertain you. Oh, I'm so sorry, but I have an emergency on the third floor, Dr. Gillespie. I know Dr. Brownlee will excuse me. Yes. Nice to have met you, doctor. I wait. Well, I may be some time. Time is of no essence. Goodbye, Dr. Brownlee. Dr. Gillespie will see you later. Quiet. Why did he have to leave him in my office? Why couldn't it have been in yours? Fortune to war, old boy. Quite. Well, I'll spend the night and research on diets you spent with Dr. Brownlee. I'll see you in the morning with Mrs. Carew when she comes in for her examination. Oh, a lot. Now, Mrs. Carew, we've conducted a most thorough examination. We find you an excellent physical condition. Correct, Dr. Gillespie? Correct. Quite. Thank you, Dr. Brownlee. Now, there's nothing to stop you from going on a diet immediately. I was afraid, though, wouldn't be. I have a diet here for you. You will note that for breakfast you may have half a grapefruit, no sugar, one piece of dry toast, black coffee. I don't like grapefruit. I hate dry toast and I love black coffee. Courage, Angela. Courage. Courage. Yes, courage. Now, for lunch you may have a delicious salad of lettuce, mineral oil dressing, or lemon juice. For dinner, coddled eggs with a plain green vegetable. No corn, peas, lima beans, or potatoes. None at all. None. You'll find a different menu there for each day of the week. Now, you mustn't deviate from it. Well, I'll try. Now then, there's also a course of exercise. First, every morning I want you to bend down and touch your toes. Fifty times. Fifty times? Yes, yes. Very easy. Like this. Try harder, kill there. You can make it now. Attaboy. Bo-bo. Thank you so much. Well, you get the idea, Angela. Yes, I know what you mean all right, but I don't know if I can make it. Well, try. Now, don't do your exercises with vigor. Remember the Nordic maidens. Be one of those. Charming girls. Why, Brownie would ever think that you'd notice anything like that. Then, put your hands on your hips and swing as far to the left and as far to the right as you can. Do that twenty times. I'm getting tired just thinking about it. Now, this is Monday. I want you to come in on Thursday and be weighed. Then I'll give you a diet for the next few days and some more exercises. You should notice very rapid results. Yeah, and we'll all cheer you from the sidelines. Excelsior and all that sort of thing. Yes, goodbye. I'll see you on Thursday. Toodle-oo. Goodbye, Angela. Good luck. Charles. Dr. Kildare, I sent for you because I have a pain in my back and I thought you might be able to help me. Does it seem to be muscular? Oh, yes, it's muscular, all right. It's those confounded exercises you gave Angela. What do they have to do with you? She makes me do them with her. She says it's more chummy that way, and I'm on her diet, too. Oh, well, what kind of results are you getting? I lost four pounds. Really? Yes, a pound a day. And I don't mind telling you that it's ruining my disposition. I can't seem to radiate like I could a week ago. The arch in my instep is gone. I don't like people. I'll bet you don't. But I didn't prescribe the diet for you. I don't recommend it for you. You're thin enough as it is. Angela says I shouldn't ask anyone to do a thing I wouldn't do myself. Well, at any rate, I shall certainly look forward to weighing Mrs. Carreaux. Mrs. Carreaux, let me take another look at that scale. Well, it couldn't say 153. That would mean I gained three pounds. Yes. Well, that's what it says, all right. Did you stay on your diet? I certainly did. I had a horrid old chunk of lettuce and lemon juice on it for lunch. And last night I had boiled codfish and raw tomatoes. And yesterday noon I had a rolled vegetable salad and then some black cheese. I have a double chocolate mall, please. Coming right up, ma'am. Why, Mrs. Carreaux, having a cup of black coffee? Joe Dar, what are you doing here? Oh, just happened to be going in the same direction as you. Have you been following me? I've been following you for three days. When you've gone into a restaurant, I've been outside looking in to see what you ordered. And if I couldn't do it myself, I had someone else follow me. How dare you spy on me? I had to find out. Now I have the record right here. Yesterday... Yesterday I had half a head of lettuce and lemon juice for lunch. And then I... That's right, you did, at Brown's. But at 3.55 you had a double chocolate ice cream soda. Well, I... I dieted at lunch, didn't I? And this morning at 10 o'clock you stopped for a hot chocolate. And now you're having... Here's the double malted lady. If you don't mind, the lady will have black coffee. I'll have the chalk malt. Mrs. Carew, you've been cheating. But I've dieted at mealtimes. I've never done that before. You can't just diet at mealtimes. You've got to diet all day long. Now look here, I'm not trying to be mean and spy on you. I have a job to do and I've got to do it. My job is to get 20 pounds off of you. But I can't do it without your help and cooperation. 23 pounds. That's right. Oh. 23 pounds. Here's your black coffee, lady. Thanks. Oh, dear, now. Are you going to get your coffee all full of tears? You mustn't feel bad just because... Excuse me, Dr. Kilster. I don't care for any coffee. Some people would take candy from a baby. Yes, and some people would give it to one. So that's the story. That's it. In one week, Dr. Carew has lost six pounds. His wife has gained four. Shocking. Exactly the way I feel, Dr. Brownlee. Furthermore, Carew has caught a bad cold and he's blaming that on us, too. He says we've undermined his physical condition. Well, he shouldn't be dieting. He knows that. Well, I suppose we might as well throw him in the towel. Yes, I'm afraid so. Might I make a suggestion? Of course. Perhaps Mrs. Carew needs an incentive. Oh, kind of an incentive. Well, I've always found a mink coat to be quite tempting. Say, you may have something there. Suppose, suppose Dr. Carew were to promise Mrs. Carew a mink coat in exchange for that extra poundage. Ah, that old skin, Flynn, he'd no more... He might be tricked into it. Kilder, would you be guilty of stooping to a low trick to get this weight off Mrs. Carew and getting a mink coat out of Bumpy? I would. I would, I... I'm with you, mate. Well, then. Gather round, mates. Gather round. Let's hatch a plot. We return to the story of Dr. Kilder in just a moment. Now we continue with the story of Dr. Kilder, starring Lou Ayers as Dr. Kilder and Wyan O'Barramore as Dr. Gillespie. Well, what does the scale say, Dr. Kilder? You can see it as well as I can, Angela. One hundred and fifty-five. Angela, I want to talk to you. Sit down. Sit down. Do you know what I heard your husband say the other day? No. I heard him say it would be worth a mink coat to him to have you take off that weight. A mink coat? Bumpy said a mink coat. That's exactly what he said. Wasn't it, Dr. Brownlee? Quite. Well, I'm certainly willing to starve for a mink coat. Well, well, what does the scale say? I'll tell you. What does the scale say? Oh, Bumpy, darling, I'm going to starve myself to rizzens. Any girl would go on a diet for a mink coat. A mink coat? Yes. Dr. Kilder, I'm going to starve myself to rizzens. I'm going to starve myself to rizzens. Any girl would go on a diet for a mink coat. A mink coat? Yes. Dr. Kilder told me that you said it's worth a mink coat to have me take that weight off. Kilder, I'm shocked. Shocked, astounded, and hurt. No, no, no, don't interrupt. Hurt is what I meant. To think that one of my colleagues... Oh, you mean you didn't say it, Bumpy. Of course he said it. I heard it myself. And so did Brownlee, didn't you, Brownlee? Quite, Guser. And Dr. Carew was going to be so proud of you when he sees you dance, Angela. Very well. Very well. I know how to play the sport when I'm cordoned. Angela will have her coat if she takes off the weight. Oh, Bumpy, you're the most wonderful man in the world. But from now on, someone else will have to eat with her and exercise with her. Kilder, I want you to exercise with Angela. And Dr. Gillespie, I want you to eat with her. And Dr. Brownlee, you may do either. Both. Well, we'll do it, won't we, mates? We've put our shoulder to the wheel and we'll heave ho. Kind of heroic, isn't it? Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed. The lady and I will each have one piece of dry toast, one half of grapefruit and black coffee. And I? Sorry, Brownlee, I'm sorry. I forgot you for a moment. Waiter, we who are about to diet salute you. I'm tired. Oh, cheer up. We've only twenty more blocks to go. Where's Brownlee? Oh, he's sitting back on the curb there. You catch up before we're at the hospital. Come on, Angela. Squad's right. Three coddled eggs and three raw tomatoes. Yes, sir. Will that be all, sir? Angela. That's all. Brownlee. That's all. We have some fresh and very special banana cream pie. Would you mind doing me the extreme favor of dropping dead? Oh, Jack. I'm sure you can make it. That's it. My tennis is improving at any rate. So's your fall, old girl. So's your fall. A stalk of celery, a broil lamb chop, plain boiled spinach. All right, bend down, touch your toes. One, two, one. Look at this tail. Look at it. One hundred and eighteen. I weigh one hundred and eighteen pounds. Well, how do you like it? Angela, without a doubt, that is the most beautiful mink coat I've ever seen. It's really ripping, old girl. It really is. Cost fortune. Angela, what are you doing? Don't sit down in that coat. You're sitting on thousands of dollars. Oh, you know, Bumpy, I'm going to need a whole new wardrobe. You're going to what? Yes. None of my clothes fit anymore. I've got this dress pin together with safety pins. Well, just pin the rest of them together with the safety pins. Oh, but Bumpy made me take the weight off, and after all, he wants me to look attractive. All right, Angela. All right. But just a very few simple things. Remember, I am only the poor, struggling head of a hospital. Oh, I'll remember, Bumpy. And thank you, Dr. Kildare. I'll always be grateful for what you've done for me. Oh, I didn't do anything except perhaps function as your conscience and as your coach. You did it yourself. Now, if you're careful, you'll be able to keep the weight off. And I know you're going to feel a lot better. I'll keep it off. Well, I have to run. I have a rehearsal with the orchestra for my dance. And I want you to know I'm wearing the same costume I wore the night Bumpy asked me to marry him. Angela, that dress is much too low. Oh, you didn't say that then, Bumpy. Well, I wasn't married to you then. All right, darling. I'll fix it. See you all later. Bye, Dr. Gillespie, you sweet old grumpy you. Yeah. So long, Angela. Bye, Don. Chit-chat. She really looks kind of wonderful, doesn't she? She does indeed. I'm well pleased. Well pleased indeed. Dr. Brownlee, you'll have a fine report to take back to England on our medical methods in this country, won't you? Quite. Well, Dr. Gillespie, you both look a little run down to me. You'd better take a tonic. Well, I must await in my office to... Good day, gentlemen. Good day, Bumpy. Say, if you two intend to specialize in diets, I'd like to take off a pound of... No, not down your line. We're finished, Marley. Once around the courses about all any of us could take. No, quite. You know, on the whole, the process was inclined to be rather exhausting. I suggest we all three take a tonic and retire to our beds. Quite. Quite. Well, if things get hard up in the hospital, you could always open a charm school. Kildare and Gillespie's Glamour School. Thanks, Marley. I'm going to stick to medicine. You know... Exclamation mark, don't you know? On the whole, it's been a satisfactory operation. Yes, we made a new woman, Evangela. We helped the hospital wing, and we made Dr. Carew spend some money. Yes, on the whole, it has been very satisfactory. Quite. In just a moment, we will return to the story of Dr. Kildare. And now, once again, the story of Dr. Kildare, starring Lou Ayers as Dr. Kildare and Lionel Baramore as Dr. Gillespie. Waiter, I want a thick cream of chicken soup to start with. Then I want lobster a la Newberg, mashed potatoes and gravy with a side order of French fries, some corn on the cob with lots of butter and hot rolls. And for dessert, I want ice cream with fudge sauce on apple pie. There. Dr. Gillespie, do you think that after all the way you've been eating is... That's what I want, and that's what I intend to eat and hang the consequence. And I'll have the same. And me. You know, Brownie, we're going to miss you. Sorry you're going home. We're certainly grateful to you for helping us with Angela Carew. It was nothing, old boy. I was glad to help out. You know, Brownie, it's been very refreshing to have someone around who doesn't talk all the time. I've had a very pleasant time indeed, and I shall enjoy telling everyone about my two friends, Dr. Gillespie and Dr. Kildare. And may I consider myself at liberty to repeat the story of Mrs. Caroll's diet? Of course, of course, as long as you give yourself credit for the meat coat. Quite. You have just heard the story of Dr. Kildare, starring Lou Ayers and Lionel Barrymore. Dr. Kildare is presented by arrangement with Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, producers of Malaya, starring Spencer Tracy, James Stewart, Valentina Cortesa, Sydney Greenstreet, and John Hodiac. This program was written by Gene Holloway and directed by William P. Russo. Original music was composed and conducted by Walter Shuman. Supporting cast included Eleanor Audley, Ted Osborne, Anne Stone, Jane Avello, and Herb Ellis. Dick Joy speaking. Music.
