The Irene Dunn Fred McMurray Show. Starring Irene Dunn as Susan, and Fred McMurray as George. Together in a gay new exciting comedy adventure, Bright Star. It's the Irene Dunn Fred McMurray Show, with Irene Dunn as Susan Armstrong, editor of the Hillsdale Morning Star, and Fred McMurray as George Harvey, her ace reporter. Football is in the air in Hillsdale, and so is George, with Susan trying to hold him down a bit. Come on Hillsdale, what a team we've got. Don't let them get another touchdown, come on. George, they hurt him. They're going to pass, can't you see they're going to pass? Watch out for a pass. I'm sure the boys will take her advice. Sit down. Referee, get Deleon in the game. Fetalize them, referee. Keep an eye on that end, somebody. They're ready to go. Now will you please let them take it from here. Come on Hillsdale, hold that line. Get in there. Oh what a coach we've got. Why didn't he tell them what to do? Waterback signal for quiet. Well if he wants quiet, then chess is his game. This happens to be football. Hillsdale, quiet. They can't hear the signal. Oh look at that Hillsdale line. They're standing up like a bunch of giraffes. Get out low, fellas. Come on, charge low. Low, low. Oh what a lousy team. Excuse me sir. Excuse me, but if you're so smart, why aren't you rich? I can't stand prosperity, why? Well please don't stand in front of us. Please. Okay, okay. Come on. And I think the team has a very good coach. Oh you do. Jesse James would have passed up a coach like that in his leanest days. Come on. What happened? Tech made another touchdown. Offside. Tech was offside referee, offside. He didn't even see the play. Well maybe I didn't, but just wait till I write up the game. Offside, call it back, offside. Susan, listen to what I've just beaten out here. Well if it's a follow up on the report you did on the Hillsdale-Putnam Tech game. Well it is, sort of. I won't credit. Censorship. I won't have you ridiculing the Hillsdale team in my paper. Your acid jokes have gone far enough. You're gagging the free press. And you're pressing the free gag. At the expense of the Hillsdale football team. I blame Coach Matthews. Why the Dalton boys in their leanest years would have passed up a coach. Pass up that coach, I know. Honestly George, you've worked that one into an untimely grave. Well I think it's a crying shame that a high school the size of Hillsdale should lose all its games. Well they didn't lose the Evans game. Well they could have lost, they just weren't trying. George, are you implying that the boys are losing purposely? On the contrary, they win accidentally. George Harvey, on this day I offer humble thanks that I'm not Mrs. George Harvey. If I were, I'd leave you. If you were, we'd have some football players for Hillsdale High. Junior High. High. Junior High, ought to know my own age. Ms. Armstrong, Mr. Harvey, Coach Matthews is here. Who? August Matthews. Oh, well. Good morning. Well, come in Mr. Matthews. Go in and win, Coach. Well, sit down Mr. Matthews. Thank you. Well, yes sir. What are you here to say about the matter of pure? I beg your pardon. Shall we put the ball back into play on the 20 yard line? Yes, please do, Coach. Mr. Matthews. Mr. Matthews is more to the point since my resignation. Your resignation? You quit coaching at the high school? This morning. Good thing too. Thank you, Mr. Harvey. He means what all your well wishes mean, Mr. Matthews. High school coaching is a service to the boys and to the community. But it isn't full of rich rewards for a man of your gifts. Right. Oh, thank you again, Mr. Harvey. And in recognition of your very well taken criticisms and your shrewd understanding of football, Mr. Harvey. Well, thank you. I'm here on behalf of the athletic board to offer you the job of football coach at Hillsdale High. What? Football coach at Hillsdale. I know, I heard you. We accept. What? We accept. Splendid. And he accepts. I do not accept. But they want you, George. You're a famous football guy. Yeah, but back when? Oh, you're at least ten years younger than I am, Mr. Harvey. But believe me, Coach, I report for the Hillsdale Morning Star. I don't deliver a lot of bicycles. George, you're a big man now and Hillsdale High needs a big man. That is to fill another big man's shoes. Miss Armstrong, may I say that such tact and charm as yours would work wonders in government? Oh, how sweet. Thank you, Mr. Matthew. And as for you, Mr. Harvey, Hillsdale remembers your magnificent performances on the gridiron. Great historic football, sir. Well, don't forget, there were ten other men on my team, Coach. Say you accept, Mr. Harvey. You simply can't refuse, George. It's a call. Well, I don't know. The news. Your rival paper, I understand, is going to take the attitude of, shall we say, put up or shut up? The news would. My daughter, a very mature seventeen, graduating this semester, who was sitting behind you in last Saturday's game, puts it a little differently. She says, if you're so smart, why aren't you the coach? Oh, so? Was that your daughter? Was that your daughter? She made George miss a play at the game. She'll make men miss a lot of things that don't matter as time goes by. Well, think it over, Mr. Harvey. It's been a very great pleasure, Miss Armstrong. Well, thank you, Mr. Matthews. Ah, what a perfectly charming man. So that baby at the game was his daughter, huh? She looked at least twenty-five. How old would you say he is? Who? Oh, oh, he? Well, he says he's at least ten years older than I am. His whole future is before him. At his age? At his age. The only reason I don't put a hex on him is that in his case it's faster to let nature take its course. Oh. Putting me on a spot like that. Poor old duffer. Well, he's not poor, and he's not old, and he's not a duffer. No? He's charming. He's distinguished. Oh, he is, huh? Well, in football coaching, it's touchdowns that count. You're so right, coach. George, go win there and win. Thanks for the lift, Mr. Harvey. Don't mention it. Boy, it's sure nice of you and me going to the same school together. One of us is bound to learn something. Oh, shut up, Sammy. Law of averages. Why so crabby, coach? Well, I didn't know I'd have to teach class as well as coach football. That's a rule. Coaches gotta be on the faculty. What do they do with their regular journalism teacher? Switched into woodworking. Oh, I see. Well, I guess they're not going to teach you anything. Well, I guess they're not going to teach you anything. Well, I guess they're not going to teach you anything. Well, I guess they're not going to teach you anything. What does a journalism teacher do? Switched into woodworking. Well, where did the woodworking teacher go? She's getting married. She? Sure. It takes one of each gender to get wed. Well, she'll have some nice hand-made furniture in her home. How are you going to begin with the team, Mr. Harvey? Blocking and tackling. Right from scratch, huh? Yep. Football from the ground up. They ain't going to like it, Mr. Harvey. Well, I dare say they won't like me. They won't like you at first. Until they get to know me. Then they'll hate you. I'm confident of it. You got every reason. There's the old high school. The dear old orange and blue. Purple and gold. Orange and blue, isn't it? Not if you gaze at the title of the weekly school paper. The purple and gold? Which is going to watch every move you make. Maybe I ought to butter the sports editor a bit. Sharon Matthews. A girl, huh? A dish. Anybody buttering that editor, it's got to be sweet butter, brother. Sharon Matthews, huh? Did you say Matthews? Matthews, Sharon. The coach's daughter. Mm-hmm. George E. Porgy, a football coach? Oh, I don't believe it, Miss Susan. Why, he couldn't coach a herring to swim. George was quite a football hero on his day, patients. Well, George Washington was quite a president in his day. But I bet he doesn't get nominated again. Armstrong residence. May I speak to Miss Armstrong, please? Mr. August Matthews. It's a Mr. August Matthews, Miss Susan. Oh, how nice. Let me speak to him. Oh, that yummy, deep, dumb voice. Hello, Mr. Matthews. I hope this isn't a presumption, Miss Armstrong. Oh, not at all. It's so nice of you to call after what's happened. Nonsense. I'm rather interested myself in seeing what Coach Harvey will do with his new assignment. You're not angry? My daughter is more peeve than I am, really. All I'm interested in at the moment is, well, perhaps you'd have dinner with me some evening. Well, indeed I would. But, well, let's see, I'm pretty busy at the office without George around. Possibly a week from Saturday? That would be after the Dixon game. Maybe George will join us. Maybe. A week from Saturday then. Dinner. Thank you. I'll be in touch, Miss Armstrong. Goodbye. Goodbye, Mr. Matthews. Well, the ex-coach is doing pretty good. I'm just being friendly, Patience. I wonder how the new coach is doing. Men, I don't care if we lose every game this season, just so we win the big Glenville game. We're pointing for Glenville. Understand? Now, forget everything you ever knew. We're starting fresh. Bedrock, ground up. Clear? Now, to begin with, men, this is a football. Any questions? And to this observer, Hillsdale's attack in its first game under Coach George Harvey had all the stab and power of a Bloomer Girl team. We don't know what Coach Harvey is costing the school board. He ought to charge pretty low. His team charges so doggone high. A fine thing, Susan. That's loyalty for you. My own editor and boss panning me in her newspaper. Even as you panned August Matthews for a bad job. What do you mean a bad job? It was a good game. I know. You were just nosed out. Seventy-seventy-six. Well, we scored, didn't we? Raw, raw, six-foot. We fought them to a standstill in the last minute of the game. They couldn't handle the ball. They were laughing too hard. Well, give me time with those kids and they'll be great. Yes. Great grandfathers still trying to win for old Coach Harvey. It's very funny. It seems you've changed your tune a little since mellow-voiced Matthews got in the act. How is your group in journalism getting along? Well, I haven't had any class so far. How bitterly true. What? Hit them hard, hit them low. Yay, Hillsdale. Let's go. Next week, class, we will discuss the dangers of printing a libel. That's all, class. Oh, Mr. Harvey. Yes, Miss... Matthews. Matthews? May I speak to you after class? Why, yes, Miss Matthews. Yes, Miss Matthews? I just wanted to make it clear from the start that I entertain no ill feeling for you, simply because you replaced my father's football coach. Well, that's a very adult attitude, Sharon. I appreciate it. I'm giving you a very good write-up in my sports column in the purple and gold. That's very sweet of you, Sharon. It's what I believe. Just when did you decide I wasn't so bad? For the team, I mean. When I walked into class and saw you. What? I wrote my editorial in class. Didn't you take notes on my lecture? I could tell you how to run a newspaper. And a football team? Very likely. Is there anything you don't know? How old are you? Why, I'm old enough to be your father. Thanks for the offer, but I have a father. Tell me about Susan Armstrong. Susan? She must be very nice, because father wants to date her. Your dad is interested in Susan? Miss Armstrong? He's a widower. I approve entirely. Oh, brother. Oh, death mother. Sharon, you're very interesting, but... I'm 17, but I'm the mental and emotional equal of any really mature woman in her late 20s. That's not late enough. I mean... You're wrong, George. I may call you George. Why, yes, yes. It's late enough. In fact, it's too late for stammering out any signals of distress. You're sunk. Now back to our stars, Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray, on the second act of our story. George Harvey, trapped into coaching the Hillsdale High School football team in a dismal season, has just had an experience to try and mend souls. He has just been marked by the ex-coach's beautiful daughter, age a knowing 17, for her rightful quarry. The alarm in George's bachelor heart is translated into a telephone, jangling in Susan Armstrong's living room. Now who would that be, patient? I got a formula for finding out things like that, Miss Susan. It's top secret stuff, but I know how. You go like so. Miss Armstrong's resident. Patience, let me speak to Miss Armstrong, will you? It's Georgie Boy, Miss Susan. Oh, let me talk to the builder of men. He's all yours, trowels, scaffold, and blueprint. George? Miss Susan, are you home tonight? Well, if I'm not, you're listening to a very clever impersonation. Well, can I come over? We've only got a rib roast and a bowl of potato salad, a few remnants. You're really hungry. No, no, no, I really don't want anything to eat. Several large sandwiches will do. I just want to talk. Come right over, George. Coming right over. He just wanted to talk while he ate a few sandwiches. Phew, you think he's sick? Well, he did sound a little feverish. Well, feed a cold and starve a fever. Or is it starve a cold and feed a fever? Two sides to every question, I always say. Well, he better make some sandwiches, patience, and something nice to drink. Yes. And lay out my gold lace housecoat, will you? Gold lace? Why not? George enjoys my dressing up once in a while. You don't think that the football fever might encourage him to try any forward passes? Oh, no, not George. George? Oh, I believe that was the article in question. Oh, no, no, no, George doesn't want to... Get married? In ball. You mean he isn't that feverish? Anyhow, patience, it takes two. At least. Well, I'll get the refreshments and set out the hunting apparel. Hunting apparel? Some call it gold lace and some call it net. Oh, pretty dress, isn't it? Gold net, huh? It's gold lace, George. Oh, then what did you do to your hair? Brush it or something? You know, sometimes just running the electric mixer through it isn't enough. I brushed it. Well, it looks very nice. Well, it ought to. This was a dollar brush. Susan, don't kid me much tonight. I'm sorry, George. You know us. Anything for a laugh. I'm in a sensitive condition. Let's just make it nice, huh? All right, George. What's the matter? Have a bad day? Bad? Oh, poor George. Lots of fumbling. Oh, no, no. Very classy play. Oh, that's wonderful. How was the line? The line? A revelation. Good. Most terrific line I've ever experienced. No fooling. No fooling at all. And that's only a start. I'm sure there's more to come. Yeah. Today was just a promise of things to come. Maybe not this year, but perhaps next year and surely the year after. Yeah. You'll reap the results of what you do now. Oh, don't, don't. Fresh young... Don't, Susan. Bouncing newcomers. Don't, don't, don't, don't. George, you're ill. I think so. Your hands are like ice. Yeah. And you're foreign. Oh, keep your hand there, Susan. Feels good. All right. Susan, don't ever fire me, will you? Don't ever quit. Honnay, kind of, I... I'll need the job. Honnay kind of, the job needs you. Me, by myself, I'm a big fat minus sign. Same here. You're, no, you're not fair. You're just right. But I am a minus sign. You're just saying that to be neighborly. No, really. Both together, we're a plus. Two negatives make a positive. Yeah. We got plenty of nothing, but nothing's plenty for us, huh? No, I wouldn't run us down too much, though. A good team. Yeah. Yeah. Feeling better? Yeah, yeah. Now I got plenty of nothing, nothing's plenty for me. George. Present. Um, how would you like to go to dinner after the football game on Saturday? Dinner and dancing. Ah, fine, fine. I imagine I'll be able to use something like that. August asked if you'd join us, and I said that I... August? August Matthews, the coach. Yeah, I know. And you speak of him as the former coach. I am the coach now. All right, all right. You're the coach. The former coach, then, was cordial enough to ask you to join us for dinner and dancing on Saturday evening. Oh, that's very nice of you. But suppose I haven't got a girl, and I haven't got a girl. August has mine. Well, I explained that to August, and that's just perfect because he wants his daughter to meet you. Sharon? How did you know? I've already met the dance. When she has the fastest-charging, hardest-hitting line in the Bryn Mawr Smith College, Wellesley Bennington for Girls Loop. Now, just what do you mean, George Harvey? How did you meet Miss Matthews? She's in my class, and she's going to marry me. The first day? Yeah. Well, you work fast. I work fast. She works fast? In 17 years, she's gotten to be 25 years old. I call that working pretty fast, don't you? Is she very pretty? This Blitz babe is the most terrific thing since Delilah. In that case, George, I insist that you and Delilah... Sharon is her straight name. Well, I want you and Sharon to join us at dinner on Saturday. Why? Well, just in case Delilah gets in your hair, I want to be around. Well, George, you didn't do too badly at all today with the team, did you, girls? No, 32 to 13 begins to look a little respectable. And it's going to be even more respectable. We're going to win the Glendale game next Saturday. Not if the referee gets stuffy about our using bulldozers at right and left tackle. I said we were going to win Saturday. We? And she means it, too. In my very humble opinion, we're going to win Saturday. Well, George, I'm sure you're going to win Saturday. I'm sure you're going to win Saturday. We? And she means it, too, in my very humble opinion. Sharon could be anything she wants to be. A great musician, a great stateswoman, a great spy like Mattahari. I just want to be a success at living. See what I mean, Susan? 17 years old. And very, very lovely and quite wise and mature. Thank you, Susan. You feel very deeply and serenely about things, don't you, Sharon? And you think you'd like to marry George? Oh, no. You don't? I don't think I'd like to marry George. I know. Would anybody care to dance? Sharon, this will seem trite to you, but George is almost old enough to be your father. I am not old enough to be your... Never mind. I'm sorry. I was twice as old as my wife when I married her. I say if mother was old enough to be my mother, she was old enough to marry father. George. What? Any comment or rebuttal? No, no, no comment. I am almost old enough to be your father. You ought to see me out in the practice field, a regular girl ding it. Joy. Susan, you're upset. I think George would like to be alone with Sharon, whose mother was no older than Sharon is when she married August, who was older at the time than George is now. Shucks. I'm all mixed up. Take me home, August. You don't dance with a ball carrier, you tackle them. Tackle so they stay tackled. Oh, wait a minute. All of you stop. Lay off that stupid tackling dummy. Tackle me. Don't just stand there rubbing your beardless chins. I'm the ball carrier. Tackle me. Armando, you're first. Okay. Okay, that was more like it. All right, Davidson, you're next. I'm okay. I can take it. Ready, charge. Boom. That will be all today, class. You have your assignment for next week when we hope your regular teacher, Mr. George Harvey, will be out of the hospital. Miss Sharon Matthews. Yes, Miss Armstrong. May I see you after class, please? Well, Miss Armstrong? Sharon, didn't you know that George would probably do something ridiculous just to prove that he wasn't too old for you? No. I did mean to punish him for being what I thought was unkind to Dad in your newspaper. I just thought I'd frighten him with matrimony, but that's all. Well, that was enough. The poor man was petrified. I mustn't laugh, no. It wasn't a bit funny, but oh, oh, those silly men. Oh, well, we silly women are entitled to as little as dairy once in a while, I guess. But Sharon, where do we go from here? I know where I go. Well, can you tell me? George can't coach the team for the big game Saturday, and Father won't, so I will. You? Oh, now, Sharon. I'll take all I've learned from Dad and apply it to all George has done with the team. Turn on the charm and see what happens. If we lose, neither George nor Dad will be blamed. I will. If we win, I'll admit that I took the best from both their systems of coaching, and they'll both get credit for the win. See? Why are you looking at me like that? You're quite a girl. I almost believe you can do it. Block that kick! Block that kick! Sit down, George, before you fall off your crutches. Come on, Hillsdale, this is your day. Block that kick! Block it! George, George, the quarterback signal for quiet. Block that kick. Block that kick. Block that kick. Block. It's no good. It's no good. We win by one point. Seven to six, oh, George. Oh, Susan, not in full view of the whole crowd. That's for the thing we're coaching. Come on, boys, run that play over again. Up here, it really pays off. Our stars Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray will be back in just a moment. Susan? Yes, George? I've been thinking. Yes, George? About Sharon. Yes, George? I mean, going to all that trouble to save face for me and her dad, to make us both look good to the fans. Look at me, Susan. Do you think this face is worth saving? Yes, I think so. Well, I think it's worth saving. It's all good to the fans. Look at me, Susan. Do you think this face is worth saving? Yes, George. It keeps right on gathering interest all the time. Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray will be back next week in another exciting comedy adventure with a brand new series, Bright Star. This is Wendell Niles inviting you to join us then. Thank you.
