The Irene Dunn Fred McMurray Show. Starring Irene Dunn as Susan and Fred McMurray as George. And the gay new exciting comedy adventure Bright Star. The Irene Dunn Fred McMurray Show with Irene Dunn as Susan Armstrong, publisher of the Morning Star and Fred McMurray as George Harvey the paper's top reporter. George has been trying to get a Saturday magazine supplement started. At the moment he's interviewing Marie Carroll, a big beautiful blonde. Marie claims to be an expert in domestic sciences, cooking and housekeeping. Although she doesn't exactly look that type. However we'll see. Now if this plan goes through I think we ought to call your page the homemaker's page. Well you know best about those things. I've never tried the writing game before. I may not be able to do it. Oh and I don't worry about that Mrs. Carroll. You give me the information and I'll ghost write the stuff for you. Okay. But if we're going to work together, hadn't you better call me Marie? All right Marie. That's it. Nice and friendly. When do you expect this magazine section to get started? Well if it was up to me I'd begin this Saturday but I've got to get a final okay on it from the boss. I'll see her about it again later this morning. Her? Susan Armstrong. She's the publisher of the star. One of these career women. No, no not exactly. Her father left the paper to her. I never did understand why any woman who could get married would prefer a business career. Well I suppose business has its fascination. Outwitting men in a deal. Honey what do you think marriage is? Yes. Here's the advertising line each report Miss Armstrong. Thank you Sammy. Gee when I see those figures I sometimes wonder if I shouldn't go into the business end instead of trying to be a reporter. Well it isn't so easy. A lot of hard work goes into getting these ads. Yeah and the advertising guys don't have half the breaks reporters have. Gee there was a babe in the office this morning. She was a honey, a darb, a lulu. You know Sammy I don't mind so much your talking that way. What bothers me is I'm beginning to understand this. Well this babe in Mr. Harvey's office. Oh you should have seen her. She was born for whistles. In Mr. Harvey's office? Yeah. I listened outside the door for a while. It was real homey. She was telling him about cooking. That's enough Sammy you know I don't like to listen to office gossip. Yes ma'am. As long as Mr. Harvey's work is satisfactory what he does with his time is no affair of mine. Yes Miss Armstrong. Anything else you want? No thank you. Sammy. Yes ma'am. Did you happen to catch her name? Marie something or other. Gee she was a real flashy dame. I can find out her name for Mr. Harvey if you want. That won't be necessary Sammy thank you. Yes ma'am. Well young man are you going to block that doorway all morning? Oh gee Mr. Harvey I was just thinking about you. Were you indeed? You should do that more often Sammy it would improve your mind. I was wondering what was the name of that babe you were in conference with this morning. The lady's name is Mrs. Marie Carroll and you shouldn't be wondering about women at your age. What did you wonder about at my age? That was different I was a manly little fellow. And now having forever lost a minute out of my life I bid you good bye. You busy Susan? Come in. It's about the Saturday magazine supplement. We'll be ready to start whenever you give the word. I've got things pretty well lined up. Oh so that's what you've been doing. Lining things up. Yeah sure what's wrong? Nothing. Nothing at all. Look I know that tone of voice you're sore about something. What is it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But it might be in better taste if you did your entertaining outside the office. Susan what are you talking about? Please don't think I have any personal reason for saying this. Just that you've set a bad example for Sammy. Set a bad example for Sammy? Dillinger, Al Capone, the James boys even they couldn't have been a bad example for Sammy. We were I believe talking about the proposed Saturday supplement. Yeah I'm all lined up I mean I'm ready whenever you are. The homemaker's page is of extreme importance in this kind of thing. It certainly is. So I trust you've picked a domestic type of woman. What did you think I'd pick a lady wrestler or something? Possibly. Now forgive me for saying this George but I've noticed that occasionally you have rather vulgar taste. What brought this on? Oh it's merely an observation. Perhaps I'd better meet the woman who's to conduct our homemaker's page. Okay I'll have her come in tomorrow morning. Good. By the way what's her name? Mrs. Marie Carroll. Marie Carroll? You know her? Well I've heard of her. Is there Mr. Carroll? She didn't mention him. I'll bet she didn't. You know Susan there are times when I just can't figure you out. Oh really George? I didn't know there were times when you could. Susan you're not making much headway with that are you? I'm not very hungry patient. With prices the way they are you've got to be hungry. Hear about that fellow down the street? No. He went into the butcher shop saw steaks on the counter forty cents a pound. Forty cents a pound? The fellow thought there was some trick in it. One to a customer and very thin. You know that kind of a deal. Well I should think so. Turned out that wasn't it. Butcher let him buy the whole counter full. Catch came when he asked for delivery. Oh can't do it says the butcher. What do you mean you can't deliver says the fellow. Well your wagon's parked right out back. Sure the wagon's out back says the butcher but you just bought the horse. Not funny huh? You worried about something? If I just turn her down flat he'll think I did it out of personal spite. Just turn who down for what? A woman named Marie Carroll. George wants to hire her to run the home page on Saturday. Oh. There's only one way to handle this and that's to prove it to him. Get her out here and let her cook a dinner. Not in my kitchen. Patience be tolerant. Just this one. She'll make a mess of things and that'll all be over. Well. How long you gonna keep wearing that old hat you bought last Easter? All right it's blackmail but it's yours. You've got a deal. She's here. The baby was with Mr. Harvey yesterday. She's here. Her name is Mrs. Carroll. She's here. She wants to see you. She's here. Sammy stop jumping up and down and bring her in. Yes ma'am. This way Mrs. Carroll. Sammy don't just stand there and wait. Go get her. I'll cross the office toward her right thing. Mrs. Carroll. That's me. How do you do? How do you do? Close the door Sammy. From the other side Sammy. Yes ma'am. Well well there you are Miss Armstrong. Say a little girl who looks like you shouldn't have to work for a living. Well really I. Oh now honey don't go getting insulted. I can't help it if I speak out I'm the friendly type. Well even so we'd better omit personalities. Okay if that's how you'd rather have it. What's on your mind? Well I thought it might be a good idea if I found out what your qualifications are. Qualifications? Well have you had any actual experience in running a home? Experience? Oh honey I've been married five times. Five times? Well I told you I'm the friendly type. The second and fifth time I married Mr. Carroll and the other three were single shots. Well it's hardly a record that speaks well for your ability to create a home. Oh it wasn't my home making busted us up. There's one thing I won't stand for and that's them bringing their bad temper back to the house. If they lost their temper on the job let them stay there till they find it. Well I'm inclined to agree with you. No man's worth that. Once they start hollering around the house they can walk out as fast as they walked in. How we say easy come easy go. Well I don't think everyone finds it quite that simple to get a husband. Oh there's no secret about it. Give them a good dinner, flatter them, laugh at their jokes. When they feel the ride in high you drop your head a little and look shyly up at them and make with the eyelids. That, that, that, that, that, that, that, blink them. Yeah that's the idea. Oh it feels so silly. I bet it worked every time. Well that's not what you wanted to know about me is it? Oh I've got an idea. As a demonstration why don't I come out to your place and cook a meal. Well that's funny I was going to suggest the same thing myself. Okay you want to make it tonight? Fine. If that's convenient for you. Tonight it is then. Susan I'm going down to City Hall and oh hello Mrs. Carroll. Oh I thought we agreed you'd call me Marie. That's right I forgot. Oh say Miss Armstrong how about inviting him up to the demonstration. Well certainly if he wants. What demonstration? I'm going to cook dinner tonight at Susan's. Say you don't mind me calling you Susan do you? You're the friendly type. No that's me. Well I'll be getting along. See you tonight Hanson. And don't be late. Quite a woman isn't she? Yes she is Hanson. Okay okay that's just the way she talks. No I wasn't objecting. I think it's a very pleasant way to talk to you. Oh I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry. Oh that may be a pleasant way of talking. You do? Mm. Well what do you want to see me about George? Well I'm going to spend the day down at City Hall I've got a hunch something is likely to break down there. Well your hunters are usually pretty good George. Do you really think so? Yes matter of fact they're often brilliant. Well that's the nicest thing you've said all month. What's the matter Susan? You got a cinder in your eye or something? Of course not what's wrong with my eye? Well the way you're blinking them. You ought to take care of a thing like that it can be serious you know? Never mind George. If you want I'll come back early and drop you off at the Oculus on the way home. Go to City Hall. I won't need the top of that, Patience. Mrs. Carroll, you're not going to try to make Hollandaise sauce in the bottom of a double boiler, are you? No, I'll use a crockery bowl for the upper half. The heat will come through more gently and the sauce will hold better. Never heard of that one. It's an old trick. Where's the ginger? Up there. What do you want with ginger? To rub it on the roast chicken, of course. I'd better go see if Miss Susan wants anything. Okay. What's the matter, Patience? Miss Susan, we're a dead duck. That Carroll woman knows more about cooking than I ever heard of. Oh. Well, we'll have an expert home page anyway. Yeah, and a married top reporter. Well, we've started it. We've got to go through with it. Wrong house. Patience, open that door again. Patience, what's got into you? Oh, we're desperate. Come in, George. That'll be all, Patience. Okay, let him in. But we'll live to regret it. Susan, what's with her? Well, she's just a little disturbed about something. Hello, handsome. Did you bring your appetite with you? Yeah, I sure did. That's good, because dinner will be ready soon. Well, say, Susan, this is a real nice little home you've got here. Thank you. Yes, sir. Let those that want them have diamonds and furs. Just give me a nice little place like this and I'll be happy. I'm sure you wouldn't, Ray. You can say that again. You'd look perfect in a till. Susan. Well, I've read about it a lot of times, but that's the first time I ever saw it done. What? Susan, she clutched her throat and tottered from the room. And now back to our two stars, Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray, and the second act of our story. The guests have just left. George's still raving about the dinner. Susan sits alone in her living room as patience enters. That sure turned out to be a fine experiment. Just dandy, wasn't it? If you ask me, she's got him halfway to the altar right now. I guess my technique with George is all wrong, patience. I've been spending too much time weaving a net when I should have been building a cage. Seems like. Patience, what am I going to do? Guess the only thing we can do is side-track her. Yes, but how? Heard about Mr. Higgins, the new trust officer down at the bank? Yes, I've met him, but what's that got to do with us? They tell me Mr. Higgins is a very romantically inclined man. Stands in the bank lobby, chatting with every pretty widow that comes in. Some that aren't widows, too. Mighty fast worker, Mr. Higgins. Well, I still don't understand. Be nice if he met this Marie Carroll. Well, yes, it was. Seems like you might drop in at the bank and sort of get acquainted with Mr. C.J. Higgins. Well, it seems like I might. In case you have any trouble with him, there's an old song title that might be of some help. A song title? Yeah. Lure him into the wrong house, Nellie. He can't corner you there. He can't corner you there. Okay, tell them to hold their horses. I'll have it in ten minutes. You'll have what in ten minutes? My copy's waiting. Isn't that why you're here? I didn't even know it was late. Ah, then it's the expense account. All right, so I took a taxi back from the Carlton Fire. Now, whatever. If you want coverage on those things, you have to pay for them. It isn't the expense account. Not the expense account? Well, then who's suing us for libel? Nobody at the moment. This just isn't my kind of day at all. I'm going home and go back to bed. George, I just came in to ask you to come to dinner tomorrow night. Oh, thanks. I'd love to. I seem to be eating out at your house pretty often, though. Well, I enjoy it. Yeah, so do I. But I don't want you to think that I come out to your house just for food. I enjoy your company, too. Oh, you're hopeless. That would have been such a nice thing to say if you hadn't added the two. Well, you don't want me to be a hypocrite, do you? George. Yes? In the future, please see that your copy is on time, and don't take a taxi every place you go, and be careful what you write about people, because I don't want to be sued for life. Ha-ha, that's more like it. And I'll see you tomorrow night at dinner. By the way, Marie Carroll is cooking it, and the Mr. Higgins will be there. Well, I always say checkers is a great game. Yes. What can we be keeping them so long? What do you care? Well, it isn't that I care, Mr. Higgins. I'm just wondering, that's all. The longer they stay out there doing the dishes, the longer we're here together, alone. Yes, but... And that suits me just fine. It's been a real pleasant evening. I like the way we sort of automatically paired off in couples. Yes, it's been just lovely. Want to play another game of checkers? No, thank you. I don't think I could stand the strain. It's all right with me. I'll just sit here and look at you. Say, that's cute the way you blink your eyes. I like that. Mr. Higgins, please believe me, it has absolutely no significance. It's a nervous habit I got into the other morning, and I haven't been able to stop it. I like it. Well, have you two been keeping yourselves amused? Oh, we've been having a wonderful time, haven't we, Mr. Higgins? Yeah, we didn't miss you. Well, I hate to break up the party, but it's getting close to bedtime for little Marie. Mr. Higgins? George, why don't you drive Marie home? I don't feel like leaving quite yet. Well, I'd be glad to. Aesthetic, in fact. Well, good night, Susan. I had a lovely time. Good night, Mr. Higgins. Glad to meet you. Good night. Good night. Ready, George? I'll bring the car around front, Marie, so you won't have to walk around. Yeah, he's a real agreeable feller. He certainly does remind me of my two and five. Well, good night again. Good night. I hope I'm not keeping you up too late. Well, I am a little tired. You wouldn't care for just one more game of checkers? No, thanks. Not tonight. Too bad. Well, in that case, I guess I'd better run along, too. Well, if you must. Yeah, it's getting late. Bankers hours, you know. But you'll be seeing more of me. Good night. Good night. Hello? Hello, Miss Susan. This is Patient. Yes, Patient? Say, you'll never guess what's happened. Patient, I'm busy. I haven't the time to play guessing games. Some flowers just come for you from Charlie Higgins. Oh, well, that's very nice of him. Gonna have another dinner party tonight? No. Oh, that's too bad. I've been having a real vacation. Well, I'm glad somebody's gotten some good out of it. What are you gonna do about the problem? Attack it from the other side of the coin this time. Her side? Yes. If there's one thing Mrs. Carroll hates, it's a man who loses his temper. It shouldn't be very difficult to demonstrate that to her with our George. Wish I could be there to see it. Don't worry. I'll tell you all about it. Don't forget. Well, good-bye. Good-bye. Send Sammy in, please. You wanted to see me, Miss Armstrong? Yes, Sammy. I want you to look over all the typewriters in the office and pick out the oldest one and put a very faded ribbon in it. Yes, ma'am. And then exchange it for the one in Mr. Harvey's office. Gee, Miss Armstrong, don't ask me to do a thing like that. I'm too young. I'll take the responsibility and then tell the porter to come up there. And while Mr. Harvey's out, I'd like to rearrange the furniture in his office. Miss Armstrong, you're a very courageous woman. And while I'm at it, I might as well clean out that desk of his and straighten it up. I'm sure it hasn't been done in years. Miss Armstrong, can I have the afternoon off? Why? Why do you want it? I want to go to the Park Observatory. They just put in one of those earthquake measuring machines, a seismograph. And I want to see if it records anything when Mr. Harvey sees his office. Hello, honey. How are you feeling today? Oh, fine, Pat. I hope Mr. Higgins didn't keep you up too late. No, he left shortly after you did. Oh, that George. I don't know whether I want to know what that laugh means or if I'd be happy or not knowing. Oh, it's just that he amuses me. He sure amuses me. Well, I hope you'll continue to be amused. George will be here any minute and he may be in a bad temper. Oh, not George. Oh, Susan, I'd like to talk to you about that home page. Yes. I don't know quite how to break this to you, but... Hello. Well, well, now that you have the advantage of my stalwart presence and smiling countenance, shall we proceed to business? Well, you're in a happy mood this morning. I'm always in a happy mood. George. Yes? Have you been to your office yet? Yeah. You know, somebody's rearranged all the furniture. It looks a lot better now. You like it? Sure. I don't know why I didn't do it before. Oh. Oh, George, have you gotten any copy this morning? Yeah. Yeah, I just turned in a story on the election. And you know, somebody's done the most thoughtful thing. They found the typewriter I used when I first came on the paper and put it back in my office. Susan, that sounds just like you. I'll bet you did that. Come in. Hey, Mr. Harvey, Corrigan at City Hall just called and said you'd better get down there right away. Something's gonna break. What's got into Sammy? What do you mean? Well, isn't it a little unusual for him to be walking around with a fire axe in his hand? If Sammy chooses to carry a fire axe for his own protection, I don't think it's any business of ours. Okay with me. Well, I'm gonna get on down to City Hall. See you later. He sure is an agreeable feller. Disgustingly so. Oh, how can that be? Well, there are just certain times when it can. Oh, well. Well, listen, what I started to tell you was that I can't work on that home page. Why not? The usual. I'm getting married. Married? Yeah. Mr. Higgins is gonna drive me over to Sparkinville to get married. Well, Mr. Higgins certainly is a fast worker. Oh, I'm not marrying Mr. Higgins. Me and Mr. Carroll have decided to make a try at it again. He's cold up last night. He's such an agreeable feller. You mean Mr. Carroll or Mr. Higgins? Well, Mr. Carroll. Well, that's why I keep marrying him, I guess. Oh, not that Mr. Higgins isn't an agreeable feller, too. So is George. They're all agreeable fellers. Well, goodbye. Good luck. Good luck, Marie. Gee, it is real exciting, isn't it? I certainly do like to get married. Gee, Mr. Harvey. Hi, Sammy. Hey, Mr. Harvey. That's a very good-looking suit you're wearing. Thank you, Sammy. Did you run all the way across the room just to tell me that? No, I've been noticing the wonderful way you walk. You've got what they call a jaunty stride. Oh. Sammy, what is this? Nothing. I was reading your story on the election. I thought it was great. All right, Sammy. What's this all about? Miss Armstrong asked me to be especially nice to you. She says you're in for a bad blow. A bad blow? Well, I'd better go and see what this is about. Hi. Oh, hello, George. Come in. I've just been reading that election article of yours. It's excellent. Uh-huh. I also have a jaunty walk and wear good-looking clothes. You say? What's the bad blow I'm in for? George, I've got something to tell you, and I'm afraid it's going to hurt you. Well, let's have it. Marie just drove over to Sparkinville. Oh, yeah, to get married. Higgins drove her over there. She's marrying Carol for the third time. You knew about it? Oh, sure. Marrying the same man three times is news. We've got an exclusive story from the bride. I just turned it in. But I thought you were interested in Marie. Well, I was interested in her for the home page. Oh, George, don't you ever forget that you're a reporter. Sure. You know, as a matter of fact, I didn't want Marie to remarry Carol. You didn't? No. I wanted her to marry Higgins. Her divorce from Carol isn't final yet. Now, if she'd married Higgins, that would have been bigamy, and that would have been a real story. Oh, George. Our stars Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray will be back in a moment. You know, Susan, I've got a hunch a story is going to break down at the city engineer's office. It looks that way to me, too. I think I'll get Mr. Wickersham out to dinner Thursday night and see what I can find now. Good. Good. And I'll drop around about 8.30 as if we already know the story, and I'm just there to consult with you on it. Well, that's a great idea. You better have him out on Wednesday, though. The patience is off on Thursday. Oh, yes, that's right. George, I do love working with you. Because I'm such an agreeable feller? Yes, and because I'm the friendly type. Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray will be back next week in another exciting comedy adventure in the gay new series Bright Star. This is Wendell Niles inviting you to join us then. Thank you. Thank you.
