When George Lincoln shed his army uniform and sunk his last dime in his new business venture, he had no idea what he was letting himself in for. His offer to let George do it, if you have a problem to solve, has led him into many mysteries and adventures. Right now, as we pick up the story, George's secretary, Claire, and his self-appointed personal assistant, Sonny, are entering the office building and greeting Caleb, the elevator operator. Good morning, Caleb. Morning, Sonny. Morning, Claire. You're late, ain't you? We certainly are. Get us up in a hurry, will you, Caleb? Oh, did you try making my sardine omelet this morning, Claire? That what detains you? We had to sign a new lease on our apartment. For two years. Boy, oh boy, are we lucky. Wish I could find a new house. Why, Caleb, I thought you loved your place in the country. Stove's only got two burners. Now you take my receipt for macaroon trifle with hot butterscotch sauce. I put the macaroon to cook on one burner, the custard on the other, and there I am with hot butterscotch on my hand. You don't need a new house. You need a new stove. This floor. Gee, I wonder what Mr. Lincoln will say. He's not down yet. Oh, thank goodness. Come on, Sonny. If you get hungry, I've got some sour milk pancakes downstairs. With me! Thanks, Caleb. Hey, the door isn't locked. I'm sure I locked it last night. Why is it so dark in here? Oh, the shades are drawn. Get them up, will you, Sonny? Maybe Mr. Lincoln came back and worked last night. I'm white. We haven't had a client in a week. Nobody wants him to solve a murder or find the missing pearls or... Sonny! What's the matter? Look, on the couch! Mr. Lincoln! Sound asleep! Sound asleep, my eye. I haven't slept a wink all night. And the first person who says good morning gets fired. Help me unfold, will you, Sonny? Yes, sir. Well, it's no laughing matter. It's a simple problem in mathematics. The couch is five feet six inches. I'm six feet one inch. That leaves seven inches hanging over. After the seven inches got numb, I tried tucking them under. But, Mr. Lincoln, after all, you have an apartment. Put that in the past tense. What do you mean? I shared an apartment with Dave Thorne. Well, last night something horrible happened to him. What happened? He got married. Oh. She moved in. I moved out. You see before you, Clara, a man without a bed. What a shame. Hey, Sonny, go ask Caleb if he has any donuts hanging around. The donuts are sour milk pancakes with raisins, but I'll get them. Start the coffee-pork-perking, will you, Clara? I suppose this is hardly the time to mention that we're late because I had to sign a two-year lease on my apartment. Two years? May I touch you? Two years. Is it furnished? Mm-hmm. How many rooms? Five. Five rooms? Clara, will you marry me? Mr. Lincoln? Hey, where are those sour milk pancakes with raisins? I met this gentleman outside. This is Mr. Duncan. He's a client. Oh. Oh, well, come in, Mr. Duncan. Come right on in. Sonny, you beat it. Yes, sir. Well, sit right here, Mr. Duncan. Might as well call me Uncle Milt. Everybody else does. Besides, I'm going to call you George. Oh, that's fine. Fine. Uncle Milt, my secretary, Claire Brooks. How do you do? Terrible. Just terrible. George, I'll pay you any price. You can name your fee if you just do one thing for me. Consider it done. Good. Briefing to the point. Man after him, own heart. I want you to find an apartment for my niece. Certainly, I'll take care of it right and apart. Or a house or a couple of rooms or anything. Just get them out of my place. But Uncle Milt. Now, look, George, I'm an old man, and all I want is to spend the rest of my days in peace and quiet. I have a nice house, a lovely house, but it has a guest room, and that's where I made my first mistake. What do you mean? Well, my niece Helen had the chance to sell her house at a profit. Uh-huh. They couldn't find any place to move, so she and her husband Roy and her baby Annabella moved in with me. How awful. Now, understand, young lady, I love babies, but not when they cry all night, not when they wake up at 6 a.m. sharp, and not when they sleep right off my room on the sleeping porch. Oh, you have a sleeping porch? Helen and Roy used the guest room. Uh, Uncle Milt, does this sleeping porch have a bed? I mean, besides the babies? Yeah, and it's the only bed in the house that isn't being used. Good, I'll move right in. What? You haven't got a place to live yourself? Now, how do you expect to help me? Oh, well, now, now, don't get excited. I just want to be there to look things over. You know, it on the ground floor. On a soft bed. Well, I don't care where you sleep or what you do, only for heaven's sake, find my niece and her family a place to live. And here's my card and my address. I expect results. You'll get them. See you later, Uncle Milt. Fine. Well. Well, that ought to bring us a good fee. Mr. Lincoln, you of all people ought to know the housing situation. Do you expect to work a miracle? Aren't you worried? What have I got to worry about? Tonight I have a bed to sleep in. Come in, George. Come in. Oh, thanks, Uncle Milt. Have you got good news for me? Did you find him a place to live? Not yet. I just came to leave my suitcase. Oh. All right, Finny, stop reading that paper and get up off that couch and help me move it. What's that? Read, read, read all day long. My niece, Helen. Oh. Hurry up. Grab up one end of the couch. She's changing the furniture around. Oh. Helen. Uncle Milt, grab one end of the couch and help me move it. Who's that? Helen, this young man. Never mind. I'm not going to tell you. Young man, you grab up the other end of the couch. I want to move it where the piano is. We'll put the piano where the radio is and we'll put the radio. Well, why don't you move the couch? Wouldn't it be easier to move if he'd get up off it? Roy, will you get up? He never hears me when he reads. We'll have to move him with it. Come on now. Oh, now you woke Annabelle, Uncle Milt. Look after her, will you? All right, Helen. All right. Couch is much too heavy for this side of the room. I'll go with you, Uncle Milt. Then we'll put the radio on the other side of the fireplace if I could only move the fireplace. Talk, talk, talk all the time, just like her mother, my sister Sadie. Helen doesn't talk quite as much as her mother, but almost. You have my deepest sympathy. George, I'm an old man. All I want is to spend the rest of my days in peace and quiet. Say Uncle Milt, where does this door lead? It's the housekeeper's room. Housekeeper? Mrs. Trumpet. Only bedroom on the ground floor. Uncle Milt, then that's it. What are you talking about? Look, this is far away from the sleeping porch, isn't it? Of course. You can't hear the baby down here, don't you see? All you have to do is fire Mrs. Trumpet. Then you can take her room, let Helen do the cleaning and cooking. She'll get so sick of it, they'll all move out. Wonderful. Magnificent. There's only one catch. What's that? Mrs. Trumpet, she's a very determined woman. She may not like being fired. Oh, nonsense. All right, then you do it. What? After all, you're in charge. Okay. Then leave Mrs. Trumpet to me. I certainly wish you luck. I guess I'd better see about that. Mrs. Trumpet. Well, what do you want? Oh, Mrs. Trumpet, I'm George Lincoln. What do you want? Well, I'm handling Mr. Duncan's affairs for him now. What do you want? Well, it seems Mr. Duncan won't require your services anymore. He'll give you two weeks' notice, of course, but you won't have to work them out. In fact, you can leave right now. I'll help you pack. Oh, no, you don't. Well, you must have some place to go. You have a family, haven't you? I have a husband and a daughter. Fine, fine. Where do they live? In a house. Excellent. We just sold it. Made $5,000 on the deal. Well, where are they going to live? This is a comfortable room. They'll move in here with me. What, Mrs. Trumpet? And I just dare you to put us out. Nice room you have here, Mr. Lincoln. Never mind my room. What have you got to report? And keep quiet or you'll wake the baby. Sonny and I tramped all over town. Yeah, my feet are killing me. It's so loud, the baby. Oh, I forgot about it. All right, now come on. What goes? You first, sonny. Well, I went to every boarding house in town. Finally, at one place, the landlady agreed to give up her room. Great, great. When can Uncle Mill's family move in there? Anytime. But they'll have to share the room with the landlady's cousin and his wife. Oh, well, that's a big help. Well, Claire, what about you? I tackle the hotels, all of them. I can get them one room with the hotel manny. That's great. In two months and for two days. Oh, great guns. Hey, but here's an idea, Mr. Lincoln. Huh? If the nephew should meet with an accident or happen to get sick. What are you talking about? He's perfectly healthy. Well, I thought you were desperate. Oh, all right, I'm desperate. Suppose he has an accident. Then I can get him in at the American hospital. They'll give him a cot and a quarter. Oh, sonny. And about his family, they have a very comfortable waiting room at the hospital with a nice couch. And that's your report. I told you we couldn't work a miracle. But there must be someplace in town. Other people have apartments. They... Oh. Oh. Claire. Well? You like your job, don't you? You like it very much. It's all right. I knew you were crazy about it. Now then, you'd do anything to keep your job, wouldn't you? Explain. Well, I mean, if it meant giving up your apartment to hold your job, you'd... I'd quit. That's what I thought. Well, a fine office force I have. I give you a simple little problem. Find a place for my client's family and what happens? We talk about a cot in a hospital and a room in a hotel for two days. What do you think I hired you for? What do you think I'm paying you for? You... Oh, now you did it. Now you woke the baby. I told you to be quiet. All right, fellow. All right. No need to cry, little fella. That fella's name is Annabelle. It's all right, fella. Annabelle. It's... it's I, Georgie. You remember me. Your roommate. Oh, Claire, take over, will you? Oh, no, no, darling. Who woke up that compounded baby? Oh, hello, one minute. Oh, hello, one minute. Oh, hello, one minute. Oh, hello, one minute. Oh, hello, one minute. Who woke up that compounded baby? Oh, hello, Uncle Mel. Oh, be a good little girl. Look, George, I'm an old man. All I want is to spend the rest of my days in peace and quiet. She'll fall asleep in a minute. Uncle Mel, did I hear the baby? She's all right, Helen. Who are all these people? Why are there people? Never mind, it doesn't matter. Uncle Mel, Roy just broke the news. He quit his job. What? And I don't blame him. It wasn't good enough for a family man with responsibility. But, Helen... After all, when a man has a wife and two children... Two children? Oh, didn't I tell you? Annabelle's going to have a brother or a sister or maybe both. Twins run in the family, you know. Helen, for heaven's sake, you don't... Now, don't wake Annabelle again. I've got to go back. I'm moving the bed to where you had the chest of drawers. And I'll move the chest of drawers next to the window. If I could only move the window. George, did you hear her? You've got to do something. I'm an old man. All I want... I know, Uncle Mel, I know. But everything's going to be fine now. But Roy quit his job. I'm going to get him another. Just find them a place to live. That's all I want. I'm going to get him another. I'm going to get him another. I'm going to get him another. I'm going to get him another. Just find them a place to live. That's all I ask. Don't you see, Uncle Milt? I'll find Roy a job out of town. Out of town? Certainly. He'll move out there and then he'll send for his family. Are you sure? Why, of course. He won't want his wife to be alone at a time like this. Now, don't you worry, Uncle Milt. Everything's going to be all straightened out. Just let George do it. George thinks his latest brainstorm is going to solve Uncle Milt's problem. Little does he know what's in store for him. Now, Claire is just ending a telephone conversation with the airport. No. No, make that a one-way ticket to Seattle. That's right. Thank you. It's taken care of, Mr. Lincoln. Good. Oh, Mr. Lincoln. Oh, Caleb, I'm busy. I haven't time to hear about a new receipt. Oh, no, no, Mr. Lincoln. This time I've come for some professional advice. Yeah, well, some other day, Caleb. I'm up to my neck. Whatever you say, Mr. Lincoln, but it's mighty important. Good morning. Let George do it. Well, then why doesn't he do it? Oh, just a minute, Uncle Milt. Oh. Hello, Uncle Milt. Listen, George, now that Roy's home all day, he grabs my newspaper before I get up. And by the time I tell him... No, no, never mind that. But the front page and the funnies and the ads are all mixed up. It takes me a half an hour to put it together again. Look, George, I'm an old man. All I wanted to spend the rest of my days... In peace and quiet, you will, Uncle Milt. Tell Roy to pack his things. I got him a job in Seattle. Sonny will have his ticket and he'll meet him at the airport in an hour. Well, that gets rid of one of them, but what about... Roy's to spend the whole day looking for a place to live. Then Helen and the baby can leave tonight. George, if you pull it off this time... It's as good as done, Uncle Milt. See you this evening. Has Helen heard from Roy? She's talking to him long distance now. Oh, fine, fine. I've got a ticket. I'll drive her to the airport myself. Take her right away, will you, George? Talk, talk, talk, talk all the time and moves the furniture... Just like her mother, my sister Sadie. Helen doesn't talk quite as much as her mother, but almost. I'll have her out of your house in a half hour. Good boy, George. Oh, about my check, Uncle Milt. Check? My fee. Oh, your fee, yes, of course, of course. Yes, if you'll just make out a check to... Oh, wait a minute, it just so happens I have a check right here with me. It happens to be all made out, too. Just sign it, Uncle Milt. Uncle Milt, I just talked to Roy long distance. Oh, who's this? Helen, this is... Never mind, it doesn't matter. Roy says there's no place to live in Seattle. What? He's sharing one bed with four fellows in the office. They take shifts. What about you? You can't stay here alone, not at a time like this. I mean, when a woman's gonna have a... Well, after all... Oh, don't worry, I won't be alone. It's all right, Uncle Milt, you don't have to upset yourself. I phone Mother. You mean... Isn't it wonderful, Uncle Milt? Mother's coming here to live with us. Oh. Mr. Lincoln, you really should go out and have some breakfast. Oh, I haven't time. Come on now, Claire, who else do I know? I'm gonna phone every friend I've got. Somebody must know about a place for Uncle Milt's family. Oh, that's the phone in my office. I'll take care of it. Mr. Lincoln. Any luck, Sonny? I went to every real estate agent. Yeah? Would they be interested in renting a swimming pool? Oh, Sonny. I even went out to the cemeteries. No room there either. All right, get out of here. Keep looking. Yes, sir. Say, Mr. Lincoln. Oh, what do you want, Caleb? Have you got time to talk to me now? No, I'm still busy. But I need your help, Mr. Lincoln. Just as soon as I have a minute. Now, don't you forget it. Mr. Lincoln, it's Uncle Milt on the telephone. He wants to talk to you. Oh, all right, I'll take it here. Hello, Uncle Milt. George, I'm an old man. All I want... Yes, Uncle Milt, I know. Sadie came this morning. Helen's mother. They're moving the furniture now and talk. George, that woman never stops to take a breath. She just lets in air between words. Well, now, don't give up, Uncle Milt. I'll find something yet. Oh, it wouldn't be so bad if it was my other sister. Myrtle's tight with her money, but she doesn't say much. Well, don't you... Who's Myrtle? I told you, my other sister. Does she live in town? Yeah, has a great big house, lives here all alone. Uncle Milt, that's terrific. Let them all move in with her. Oh, you don't know Myrtle. She's very careful with her money. What's her address? 1300 Sycamore. Okay, Uncle Milt, leave it to me. I'll handle Myrtle. He's sick, you say? Oh, yes, very sick, Miss Duncan. Isn't that right, Claire? Oh, yes, Miss Duncan. If something isn't done soon, your brother will have a nervous breakdown. Milton always was delicate. Yes, yes, and it's because his house is small and there are so many people living with him. And, well, he's an old man. All he wants is to spend the rest of his day... You can forget about my brother, Mr. Lincoln. I'll take care of everything. Oh, then you mean you'll... Goodbye, Mr. Lincoln. But will you... Mr. Lincoln, I assure you, it's taken care of. Myrtle's gonna let him move in with her? Ha ha, that's what I said. I don't see how you did it, George. It's not like Myrtle. Oh, well, when it comes to women, I have a way. Why charm, you know? Well, I have to hand it to you, George. Now about my check, Uncle Milt. Check? My fee. Oh, your fee, of course, of course. It just so happens that I have a check right with me and it happens to be made out, too, if you'll just sign it, Uncle Milt. Yeah, my pen's in the desk. Wait a minute. Dear me, where's the desk? They moved it this morning. Oh, it's under that window. Hey, Richard. Why, well, look! What's that pulling up in front of the house? A moving van. Moving van? Well, see, what'd I tell you? Didn't I say I'd handle Myrtle? She sent a moving van for Helen's thing. Oh, wonderful, wonderful. Well, then what's Myrtle doing out there? Hmm? Oh, well, she must have come for the folks. Oh, come on, we let her in. That's very thoughtful of her, bringing a van and moving them right out. Well, that's how George Lincoln operates. Young man, be careful of that dresser. It's an antique. Hello, Milton. You look peaked. Myrtle, what's all this here? My furniture. I sold my house, Milton. You sold? Made $8,000. But Myrtle... This young man gave me the idea. I did? I've been wanting to make a profit, but I didn't know where I'd live. Then when he told me how sick you are, Milton, I felt it my duty to come here and nurse you. But Myrtle, where will you sleep? I'll take your room. You can use the sleeping porch. The fresh air will do you good. Sleeping porch? With Annabel? George? It's all right, Uncle Milton. I'll move my things out right now. Good morning. Let George do it. Let me speak to Mr. Doit. Oh, Uncle Milton. Oh. Hello. George, do you know where I slept last night? On the sleeping porch with Annabel. No. My sister Sadie took the porch. There isn't room with Helen because she has the guest room all fixed up with furniture for the new baby. Where did you sleep? On a cot in the garage. Oh, good heavens. George, I'm an old man. I know, I know. I'm working on it, Uncle Milton. For heaven's sake, George, hurry up. I'm an old man. Oh, Claire, I'm about ready to call it quits. Well, maybe Sonny will find something to do. I slept here again last night. Pulled a chair over to the couch from my feet. Claire, you're looking at a very discouraged man. Oh, now, Mr. Lincoln, don't say that. Does your head hurt? Yeah, terribly. Here, let me rub it for you. Feel better? Oh, don't stop. I won't. You know, Claire, you're a very sympathetic person. Well, right now, you're a figure to arouse envy. And at the same time, you're very beautiful. Why, thank you. Claire. Yes? How about your apartment? So that's it. You can rub your own head. Claire. You're not going to soft-soak me out of my apartment. Well, you can't blame me for trying, can you? Uh, Mr. Lincoln. Oh, Caleb, I told you, I have troubles enough of my own. But, Mr. Lincoln, I just hate to go to somebody else for advice. Oh, all right. What do you want? Well, I hate to put you out in it. You see, I spent so much time in the room downstairs anyway that I was wondering, do you think you can help me rent my house in the country? House? Rent? I just moved my things right into the room downstairs. The stove's so much better there. Caleb, I love you. Mr. Lincoln. I love you dearly. Give me the keys to the house. Claire, get Uncle Mill on the telephone. Tell him we'll pick him up in five minutes. Tell him we found a house for his whole darn family. Do you think there might be room for Myrtle in it, too? Of course. Of course. Plenty of room. We didn't have time to talk to Caleb, Uncle Mill. We just grabbed the keys and ran. And I was wondering if we could put up Mrs. Trumpet with him. You know him, the housekeeper. Why do you want to do that? Well, now that Roy's gone, Mrs. Trumpet's husband always grabs my paper in the morning. I don't mind cooking for myself. I just want to live alone the rest of my days. We'll move them all out here, Uncle Milt. Every last one of them, bag and baggage. After all, the country opens spaces. Plenty of room. Two, two, three, four. Must be right on this corner. Yep, there it is. Is this it? Is this all there is to it? Oh, no. It's a narrow lot, that's all. Must go way back. Well, it doesn't look very big. In fact, it looks very small. Now, don't you know, you can never tell by the front of a house. Probably very compact. Come on. How many rooms do you suppose it has? Oh, we'll see in a minute. Remember, there's Helen and Annabelle and Myrtle and Sadie and Mrs. Trumpet and her husband and her daughter. Not to mention the new baby when it comes, and that may turn out to be twins. Uh-huh. I'll walk right in, Uncle Milt. After you, Claire. Oh. Oh. Well, suppose the living room is small. One of it. But, Mr. Lincoln, where are the other rooms? Well, you see doors, don't you? We'll start opening them. Oh, this must lead to one of the bedrooms. Oh, look out! Inner door bed. Oh, I guess this is the bedroom. When that's pulled down, there isn't even room for a cot in here. Well, now, don't get discouraged. Here's another door. Oh! It's the Pullman kitchen. What do you know? Of course, I remember now. Caleb was complaining about his two-burner stove. See, the bottom is an icebox. Yes. Well, I told you it was a compact place. And you were so right. If they take the Pullman kitchen out, they might have room for the baby's bed in here. That's right. Keep plugging. See, Mr. Lincoln, is there a, um... Oh, uh, I don't see it. Outside. Hmm? In back of the house. Small, but compact. Oh. Yeah. Uncle Milt, I guess I owe you an apology. What do you mean? Well, I'm sorry, sir. This is the first time I've ever failed a client. I've let you down, Uncle Milt. I just can't solve your problem, that's all. What's all that foolishness about? Nothing of the sort. But Uncle Milt, there isn't room for all of them here. Who's talking about them? Let them stay where they are. I'll move in here. Uncle Milt! Why, it's ideal. Only room for one person. Nobody else can possibly get in. Peace and quiet for the rest of my day. Well, sure, of course. What'd I tell you, Uncle Milt? Nothing's impossible for George Lincoln. If it takes a miracle, why then I produce a miracle. Hmm, don't let your head swell up too much, Mr. Lincoln. Remember, this is a small room. Now, uh, about my check, Uncle Milt. Check? Uh-huh, my fee. Oh, yeah, of course your fee. Give me your check now, sonny. Um, one other thing, Uncle Milt. Huh? Do you think you could see your way clear to giving me a little bonus? What do you want, George? Oh, nothing much. Just a two-year lease on that cot in your garage.
