Your Coca-Cola Bottler presents Claudia, based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken. Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a Coke. And now, Claudia. Come on, get conscious, will you? This is a dress rehearsal, remember? All right, you kids, now get out of the wings. No talking backstage. And don't smoke unless it's a part of the business that you've rehearsed. All right, now try and act as if you knew what you were doing. All right, let's go on from there. You know, Mama, I don't blame Varney for getting his dander up. It's not going at all well, is it? Maybe this is the way dress rehearsals go, David. Maybe. But from the looks of things, I doubt it. Frankly, so do I. It's pretty bad. I'm starting to wish we hadn't come. I feel pretty much the same. Between you and me, your daughter is no actress. Now, don't blame it on me. She's not my daughter anymore. She's your wife. She's my wife, all right. She ought to stick to being a wife. Are you going to tell her? Oh, heavens, here she comes. Looks all right. This is her big scene. Hope she gets through it alive. I can hardly bear to look. Here I am, Stephanie. You wanted to talk to me? You bet I wanted to talk to you. Louder, please. I'm in the eighth row and I can't hear half of what you're saying. There's no point in saying the lines at all if you can't be heard. All right, go on. I can hear Claudia all right. What is it? You can stand there looking me in the eye and saying, what is it? What is it, Stephanie? I want you to leave this house. I want you... Oh, line, please. All right. Where's the prompter? What is this, a rehearsal or a picnic? Oh, never mind, never mind. All right, go ahead. God, I've got all this stupid, stupid author. How can I memorize these dreadful, nauseating, banal, and ferocious clichés? It's just impossible. Do you mind? Look, just say the lines that you have and don't argue about it. All right, all right, all right. Here goes. Yes, I want you to leave this house. I want you to leave this house and never come back. I thought that's what you were going to say. I'm ready to go. You're my sister, but somehow when I look at you, all the love and all the memories we shared, they're all gone. I'll go. You had this all planned, didn't you, Anne? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. You don't know your part, that's the trouble. She knew it last night, my lady. Anne, I know the line. Well, if you know the line, of course you do. You've got the script in your hand. No, I haven't got it in my hand. I'm sitting on it. The line is, I don't know anymore what I had planned. Thanks. Go ahead. I don't know anymore what I had planned or what I meant to do or what I meant to say. All I know is that I'm ready to leave and I don't care if I never come back. Where are you going? I bought a ticket for New York this morning. If you like, I'll let you know where I'm staying. Do you need some money? I don't need anything. You've taken away the only thing I ever really needed. I love Guy Stephanie. I loved him more than you'll ever be able to love anybody. But you have won him. He's yours. I wish you luck. You're going to need it. Pretty words. Oh, Jim, that's so inadequate. I need something else here. Something I can get my teeth into. Something with emotion, with bite. She's got her teeth in the seam, if you ask me. That's so innocuous. Look, just get your teeth in the lines you have and we'll worry about additional lines later. Please go on. You know what the... Excuse me. Just say it. All right, pretty words. Do I speak now? Yes. Goodbye. You're very proud. Yes, I am proud. Very proud. For the first time in my life, I'm not afraid of you and I feel I can manage without you. Goodbye, my beautiful sister. Anne, don't go. Don't leave me, Anne. Curtain, please. That's enough. It's as much as I can stand. Well, David, what do you think of that? Oh, mercy. That was absolutely terrible. Oh, child. You going back to see her? You bet I am. The pleasure's all yours. What are you going to say to her? Hmm? Exactly what I said to you. Well, now, don't be too hard on her, David. A compliment won't help her, Mother. Maybe the truth will. All right, that's all for now. Take a ten-minute break. And everybody back on stage. I want to go over some notes that I made on the run-through. Relax if you can. No, I don't suppose it went very well, did it, Jim? It went terrible. You'll have to do a lot better opening night if you want to take this show into New York. And I mean it. All right, now relax, everybody. Ten minutes and then everybody back on stage. That includes backstage, too. David, you run along alone. I want to call up the house and ask Bertha if she needs anything for dinner. Mrs. Brown, I have a sneaking feeling that you are a coward. I do not deny it or make any excuses. Well, I'll go on back then. Any message for your daughter? What does a mother say at a time like this? A mother? What does a husband say at a time like this? Let's see, where is it? I can never find my way around in these places. We should put numbers on the door. Oh, here. Dressing room eight. Oh, David Norton. Come to see your little wife. Hello, Miss Manners. That's right. Well, what do you think of her? Well, it's hard to judge a performance on its first dress rehearsal. Well, I think she's very interesting in the part. Yes, very interesting and really potentially a very sweet little actress. What worse could you say? But I think she'll get by. Do you have a cigarette? Cigarette? Yes, I think so. Your brand? Thank you. You know we're all in there pitching for her. Yes, I know. Match, please. Thank you. You going to be around? Just a little while. You know, I think if you and I talk this over between us, we might be able to help Claudia. So do drop into my dressing room before you go. Yes, I will. And Mr. Norton, please don't be too hard on her. Bye-bye. Wait a minute, wait a minute. It's only your husband. Oh, is that all? Come on in. Well, hello, you. Hello. Aren't you going to kiss me hello? With all that stuff on your face? Oh, it doesn't come off. I like kissing you, not an advertisement for lipstick. David, you look as if you have a headache. I'm not surprised. Have you one? No. Well, then you didn't... Come on, take off your makeup. Let's go home. Well, aren't you going to tell me how I was? Well, take off your makeup. Plenty of time to talk when we get home. Can I come in? Oh, come in, Mr. Varney. Oh, hello, Norton. Hello, Varney. I'm dead. Anybody got a chair for me to drop on? Yeah, right over there. Well, that was the first dress rehearsal. We are sure not going to get far this way. Is it so terrible? Young lady, I think it's time you and I had a little talk. Don't go, David. Stay here. Just as you say, remember, I'm only your husband. Got a match? Yeah, sure. Cigarette? Oh, here's one. Well, yes, Mr. Varney? Claudia, what happened to you? What do you mean? I thought you were going to be good in this part. I thought you were going to be fresh and young and simple. I thought the audience was going to be on your side. And? You came out on that stage and nothing happened. No electricity, no excitement, no surprise. No nothing? No, no, no, no nothing at all. You looked as if you felt you didn't belong there. You looked like a sleepwalker. You looked as if you had to keep remembering your speeches. Well, I did. You looked as if you just... Oh, yes, you did. You looked as if you'd stumbled on a stage by mistake. Well, I didn't feel that way, honestly, Mr. Varney. I was... I was starting to feel it was going pretty well. Well, take it from me. It didn't go very well. It didn't go really well at all. The whole thing reeked. Now, wait a minute, old man. Your star, Miss Victoria Manners, isn't one jot better. That has nothing to do with it. Well, why don't you go ball her out? Now, one thing at a time. Now, you don't dare ball her out, so you're taking it out on Claudia. David, you don't have to. Now, personally, I thought Claudia was pretty darn good. You don't say. I do say. What's more, I'll have you know I'm not prejudiced. I'm always the first one to hop on her when she's wrong. I think she has a difficult part to do, and she's not getting any help from the other actors on the stage, either. You don't say. David, it's awfully sweet of you, but really... Oh, you shut up. I'm talking now. Go ahead. If she did look lost and helpless and uncertain, then that's in the part. The point is, my dear man, that Claudia is not supposed to look confused, but the part that she's playing is supposed to look confused. No hogwash. David, you're being awfully sweet, but... I'm not being sweet. Husbands should not be allowed in the theatre. There are planes in the neck. They're worse than mothers. I agree with you, but I'm here now, and you ask me to come to this dress rehearsal. It's not my idea. If you don't like Claudia in this part, I'll take her right home with me, and you can find yourself another actor. David! I told you to shut up. So now I'm getting my orders from you, not... You're darn right you are. I think it's high time you start... stop picking on my wife just because you don't dare pick on Victoria Manners. If you ask me, she's the one that's terrible. It doesn't matter how terrible she is. She's still the leading lady. Yeah, just as I thought. You're scared to tell her. Well, I'll tell her for you. If you dare say one word to her... David, you wouldn't! Well, I'll think about it. But how would you like playing a scene opposite Victoria Manners, Mr. Varney? She'd be pushing you into the corner, stepping on all your lines, moving in on your speeches. She'd do everything she could to distract you and take the audience's attention away from you. I am only a director. All I'm trying to do is put on a play. Just put it on fairly well so that the audience doesn't hoot us out of the theatre or sit on their hands when the curtain goes down. What do I get? Aggravation and ulcers? As for my wife, Mr. Varney, I think you're pretty darn lucky she's in your play. Oh, well, what's the difference? I just came in here to give her a mild criticism so she'll give a better performance. And, well, honey, all I can say is it must be wonderful to be married to a man who's in love with you. It is. Well, I'll see you on the stage if it isn't too much trouble. So long, Norton. No hard feelings, Mr. Varney. Oh, no, no, no hard feelings. But any time you want to take over the direction of this play, Mr. Norton, it's all yours. Well, I guess I told him a thing or two. David, you were wonderful, magnificent. Yeah, I was at that. That was quite a performance, I guess. Darling, why didn't you tell me sooner? Tell you what? That you thought I was so wonderful. Why, when you came into this dressing room five minutes ago, I thought you were going to say I was terrible. You had such a... such a... headachy look about you. Oh, I can't tell you how relieved I am that you think I'm so good. I thought you were good. Mama and I thought you were terrible. What? Varney's absolutely right. Everything he told you was the honest truth. You mean I wasn't any good? I said you were terrible. I don't know, the earth made you think you were any good. You did? Well, you didn't think I was going to agree with Varney, did you, while he was insulting you? You don't think I'm going to stand by and let another man criticize my wife and say absolutely nothing? Then you didn't mean what you were saying? How many times do I have to tell you? Oh, my gosh. All right, now, young lady, it's up to you. And if you make a liar out of me, I will brain you. Well, you've made a liar out of yourself already. Oh, no, I haven't. You just get good, and that's all there is to it. That's all. You make it sound so simple. Darling, you can get good. I know it. Or I wouldn't have bothered lying for you. Oh, David, it's not easy, but it's so wonderful to try to live up to you. Even if you're one of those women who likes to shop, there are moments in the course of a buying trip when your patience and energy run out. At such times, you'll do well to look about for one of those friendly red coolers that invite you to shop refreshed. Pause for ice-cold Coca-Cola, and it'll be easier to finish shopping. Coke helps to restore your good humor. It brings everyone the pause that refreshes. Did you watch the dress rehearsal, Mr. King? Oh, I eavesdropped on part of it, Miss Manners. Well, what did you think? Well, I'd rather not say. Then you agree with David. I'll give you my opinion after the opening night on Monday. That's the only time it's really fair to judge an actress. Suppose Claudia will be so nervous on Monday. It'll be even less fair to judge her then. Well, we'll see. First things first, you know. Well, be sure to come around backstage to say hello. I will. Every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again Monday at the same time. And now this is Joe King saying au revoir. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola. For Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes. And ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere. The parts of Claudia and David on this program were played by Katherine Bard and Paul Crabtree. And the entire production is supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney. And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola.
