Your Coca-Cola Bottler presents, Claudia. Claudia, based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken. Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. Relax, and while you're listening, refresh yourself. Have a Coke. And now, Claudia. David, you're not in any hurry, are you? Why, am I walking too fast for you? No, no, I just wanted to know if you're in any hurry, that's all. And I'm supposed to answer no, I guess. Well, you're not, are you? All right, all right. Now, what is it you want me to do? Well, I have something to return to a store, that's all. And I have an appointment at five at the office. That's perfect. What's perfect about it? Well, that's where and when I'm supposed to meet Mama, and it's quarter to five now. The store's on the way, so we have fifteen minutes in which not to hurry. We? Can't you return something alone? Of course I can, only since you're not in a hurry, I'd rather return it together. Now look, once and for all, I will not go into a female department store. Now that is absolutely out. Well, I wouldn't dream of asking you. What would you dream of asking me? It's very simple, darling. I just want to return this pair of gloves, and there is nothing female about gloves. You're not intending to return the ones you're wearing, are you? What do you take me for? I wouldn't put it past you. You know, I understand that there are some women who send home a dress, and wear it that night, and then return it the next day. It's an idea. Well, you wouldn't catch a man doing that, I'll tell you that. Not bright enough. I have the gloves in a bag in my pocketbook in the store right down the street. And why are you returning them? Because before I ever had a chance to wear them, hardly, the seams split, and I am certainly not going to keep gloves when the seams split for no reason at all, would you? And just how long did you wear the gloves before the seams split? Are you insinuating? I certainly am. I told you I didn't wear them at all, hardly. I just put them on. And how many times did you hardly just put them on? David, there's no reason for this inquisition of your smug tone of voice. I'd be perfectly honest. Yeah, for once. I just put these gloves on and the seams split. I'm going to return them, and that is all I'm going to say to you, because I'm going to have to say it all over again to the sales lady. You know, I marvel at how you women are completely different about shopping than a man. Well, I hope so. With women, it's some kind of a contest. Who's smarter, you or the department store? I marvel at how you think you're very funny. No, no, no, not funny, especially. Now, David, here we are, and the glove department is right on the first floor. Darling, you won't feel the least bit conspicuous. Thanks. And please just remember, we have it all day now. We're going to get out of here. Will you take a minute? It's not very complicated to take back a pair of gloves. With a seam split? Hey, careful of the revolving door. Is this store always so crowded? See, glove, collar, glove, collar, glove. Oh, oh, there it is, right down there on the left. Say, I don't remember you buying these gloves. Oh, I beg your pardon. What did you say? I said, I don't remember you buying these gloves. Well, I did. They were expensive, too. They're a nice suede, but as I said before, the seam split. The seam split, yes. Molly got a pair, too. Her seam didn't split. It didn't, no. I wonder why. Oh, well. Here we are, David. There's the glove counter. Say, look, maybe if you found the sales lady who sold them to you, it'd be a lot simpler, you think? I don't, I don't see her any place. She had sort of gray hair, short and determined, the kind of woman who makes you embarrassed if you don't buy something. Oh, that kind of woman. You know, I don't think it's nice for a sales lady to make you feel embarrassed if you buy something. Do you? You mean if you don't buy something? I mean if you don't buy something. I say it depends on the customer. Meaning? I refuse to express further opinion on the subject. You'd better not. Oh, good, here comes a sales lady now. She's not bad. No, no, not bad at all. Hey, listen, David, you don't think she'll be disappointed when she finds out I'm here to exchange and not buy? No, I think she'd be heartbroken. But it's the perils of her profession. Still, David, the seam is split. You tell it to her. I'm just here for the ride. If I were here in a store and a customer came in with a pair of gloves and the seam split, I'd make no bones about it. You're right. No bones are involved. Oh, honestly, you're a big help. Good afternoon, madame. What can I show you today? Uh, hello. You can't show me anything today. I'm just here about some gloves I bought. Yes, madame. You see, right after I bought them, I went to put them on and the seam split. I see. You didn't notice a defect in the glove when you bought it. Well, I wouldn't have bought them if I'd noticed a defect. Now, that's a very good point you make there. No, of course not. Have you the glove with you? Oh, I brought the whole pair in there, right here in my bag. And they were very good gloves, too. They were very expensive. I don't remember what I paid, but they seemed expensive. Well, uh, maybe we can have it repaired for you. Well, I don't want a new glove that's repaired. I want a new glove that's new. Once there's a defect in the glove, it's never the same, is it, David? Uh, you handle this all by yourself, darling. You're doing very well. We are. Here are the gloves. They're a lovely brown. I was heartbroken. You see, here is the seam split. Oh, yes, yes, I see. Well, would you please give me another pair of the same gloves and I'll give you these. I'm not sure we can do that, but we can send this glove to repairs and they'll make it as good as new. I told you that I wouldn't consider a repaired glove as good as new. Now, if you won't give me a new pair of gloves that's new for these gloves, I'll just return these. You, uh, you just wish to return these gloves, don't you? Yes, I wish to return these gloves unless you'll give me another pair for them. In any case, first we'll have to return these gloves and credit your account. Then, if you wish another pair, that will be another transaction. Such a business. David, doesn't this sound awfully complicated to you? No, no, no. Of course it does. Why can't we just exchange them and could, uh, could I have the sales slip, madame? The what? The sales slip. I don't have it. I'm afraid we'll have to have a sales slip. Well, I don't keep a sales slip. If I kept a sales slip for everything I bought, I'd have nothing in my house but sales slips. It's like check vouchers, David. You should keep the sales slip, darling, for a reasonable length of time. Trader, I never heard of such nonsense. Sales slips, check vouchers. You don't want me to throw away anything and still you don't want me to clutter up the desk with pieces of paper I can't win. I'm very sorry, but I don't have a sales slip. That's all there is to it. Then, then, could you tell me exactly when you purchased these gloves and we will check your account. Honestly, just to return a pair of gloves, we should have brought a lawyer with us. What was the price of these gloves? Doesn't the store know? I'm afraid I don't recognize these gloves, madame. Are you certain? Are you positive you bought them here? Certainly I bought them here. I have a charge account here, so where else would I shop? You certainly don't think I'm going around spending money for things I buy. My wife bought them here. I'm positive that they are not in our stock. We carry none of these luggage brown suede gloves. Well, I can understand that. They don't seem to wear very well. Not that I wore them, mind you. I'm afraid I can't accept these gloves until I make certain that you purchased them here. But if you'll excuse me, I'll check with the department head. I'll be back in a moment. You're sorry to keep you waiting. Well, I never, I never. What's your language? You make returning things so complicated. Well, you should have kept the sales slip. David, are you going to take sides with the store against your wife? I'm not taking sides with anybody. All I'm saying is that there has to be a method for doing these things, and the method can't be changed, even for you. Well, then somebody ought to do something about the method. It's not methodical. Hey, where's she gone with that glove? She'll be back now. Be patient. But were you with your glove, you wouldn't be so calm. Claudia, are you, are you sure you bought these gloves here? I'm not even going to answer that question. Here's a handsome pair of gloves. See these pigskin ones on the counter? I'm not interested in any other gloves, thank you. I've got to stay asleep. Honestly, I have a charge account in this store. You think I'd get some appreciation for that, wouldn't you? The charge account is for your convenience, not the store. Well, all the same, it proves I'm a loyal customer, and still they treat me like a stranger. Now look, darling. Have I got a sales slip? Did you really buy these gloves here? Now look, come on, come on, let's go. I'll buy you another pair of gloves, brand new gloves. Well, that's very sweet of you, David. It's not the gloves I care about, it's the attitude. Now if I were running a store, my entire object would be to be as pleasant as possible. A woman came in with a pair of gloves that had torn before she ever wore them, hardly. I would have apologized, and I would have given her another pair immediately. Then you would be in the poorhouse immediately. What happened to that sales girl? I would not end up in the poorhouse. Everybody comes shopping to me because I'm so nice. Where is that sales girl? It's getting late now, come on, I've got to get to her. No, it's getting late, but just a minute, darling. Oh, here she comes. She still has the gloves with her, too. Oh, I'm sorry, madam, but nobody in the department seems to recognize these gloves. If you could only remember when you purchased these gloves. Well, all I remember is I've been meaning to bring them in, and this is the first chance I've had. I live up in Connecticut, and I don't get to New York often, so... Oh, there's only one more person I can check with. I'll have to get the floor manager, Mr. Arbuthnot. Perhaps he'll remember if we had this item in stock recently. Well, it was very recent. I have an excellent sense of time, and it was very recent. I'll be back as soon as I can, madam. There's a chair there. Make yourself comfortable. David, did you hear that? I was looking at the ties across the aisle. What happened? They don't remember having this item in stock. Really, the inefficiency of places. Where'd she go this time? To get the floor manager. Well, at least he's a he. Maybe I'll get some action. Oh, when you get a he, you get action all right. A he in a department store is a potentate. I'm sorry to keep you waiting like this, darling. Never expected it to be so complicated. Oh, it's all right. Perfectly all right. I should think you'd rather buy a new pair, but it's all right. See, I just had to do it today. I keep putting it off and putting it off, and I'd never get it done. David, one mustn't wait too long to return something, you know. I know. Here she comes now with the floor manager. Oh, or Mr. Arbuthnot. Looks very efficient. Arbuthnot, didn't you hear? Is that his name? Yes. It's the mustache that makes him look efficient. Why do men in department stores always have mustaches? To make sure that nobody thinks they're women. Lovely flower in his buttonhole. He looks like an undertaker. Well, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind. Can you afford it? Good afternoon, madam. I'm Mr. Arbuthnot. Yes, Mr. Arbuthnot. Good afternoon, Mr. Arbuthnot. I'm sorry we've had all these delays, madam, but you are correct. These gloves were purchased right here at this counter. You see, David, I bet for a moment you suspected that I... Yes, these gloves are one of our models. But, madam, you don't remember exactly when you made this purchase? Well, it can't be very long. After all, a person doesn't keep a glove with a seam split hanging around the house very long, do they? I see. I only bring up the time element because this particular style and make of glove is a discontinued model. What did you say, Mr. Arbuthnot? We discontinued it over six months ago. We have not had it in stock since then. Oh, dear. Now, young woman, what do you have to say to Mr. Arbuthnot? Oh, my, my, Mr. Arbuthnot. How time flies. This broadcast of Claudia was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney. By the time girls and boys reach their teens, a natural spirit of independence begins to assert itself. They like to choose their own clothes. They like to run their own parties. And those parties seem to turn out a lot better when the young people provide the refreshment and entertainment, because they know what the gang prefers. Plenty of ice-cold Coca-Cola, maybe a few new records, and they're all set for a wonderful time. Every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again tomorrow at the same time. And now this is Joe King saying au revoir. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think of the future, you can always find the right person to be with you. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola. For Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes, and ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere. Thank you.
