Your Coca-Cola Bottler presents Claudia, based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken, brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. Relax and while you're listening, refresh yourself, have a Coke. And now, Claudia. David, David Norton, hey! Right here you. Then why don't you answer me? Because you never give me a chance. That's a good reason. Well, anyway. David! What do you want? I want to know when are you coming down from upstairs? In a moment. Why? What do you want? Nothing. Nothing? Nothing. You've been howling your head off for me to come down from nothing? If you let me finish, I just want to tell you there's no reason for you to rush, darling. You've plenty of time to get to the station. We happen to be early today. Imagine. I'm so glad you told me. Thank you very much. You're so welcome, my love. Claudia, what is all this shouting about? Nothing, mama. I thought at least the Indians were coming. What Indians? Where? I didn't come to answer your pixie questions. I'm never a pixie, mama. I want to tell you that Fritz says it's freezing out today. Probably the coldest day we've had so far. If you go out dress warmly. Now, wasn't that thoughtful of Fritz? The tea really is so sweet. Did look sort of cold out of the window, I must say. Mama, how do you think David looks? Looks the same. Why? Doesn't look a little tired to you? Well, he's been working very hard lately. On the ice. Commuting in the winter isn't easy, exactly. Then you do think he looks tired. Now, Claudia, stop. Commuting makes for an awfully long day for him now, doesn't it? He doesn't seem to mind too much. Well, he wouldn't admit it if he did. He slept so restlessly all night. When I asked him this morning, how he slept, he said, fine. That's his privilege. He certainly hates taking care of himself, that man. He hates it even worse when I try and do it for him. A very normal reaction. You should be grateful that David's not a namby-pamby man. Mama, I wouldn't have married him if he were namby-pamby. But being unnamby-pamby has its problems too. Stop worrying about him. You're a fine one. That's advice that's rarely followed. When a person loves someone as much as I love David. I think I'll go out and see if he's dressing warmly. Uh-oh. I'll just pass Fritz's message on to him. I'll be my most tactful. Claudia, careful of those stairs. You have to take them too by too. Stop worrying about me, Mom. It doesn't pay, remember? Say, David. Are you up here? Now, David, listen. I didn't come up for nothing. I came up for a purpose. A purposeful female causes men to duck. Then duck. I came up to tell you it is freezing out. How do you know? Have you been out? No, but Fritz has. It's so freezing, he even thought it worthwhile to let us in on it. What do you think? David, I saw the Danes running around their breath with smoking. Cigars? And what's more, the paper said it'd be freezing out today. Good for the paper. Although according to the paper's record, that probably means we'll have a heat wave today. Yeah, probably. Why all the statistics? No reason. Well, it was awfully sweet of you, darling, to come all the way up to the bedroom to tell it was freezing out today. Thanks a million. David, um... Pardon my asking, but are you wearing woolen socks? What'd you tell you? Not much, but I hate a man with cold feet. It's too bad. Sort of limits you, doesn't it? You will have cold feet if you don't wear woolen socks today. Do you want me to hate you? You wouldn't do that, would you? Well, I might. Oh, David, now listen, please, wear woolen socks. Stop being so stubborn. How do you know I'm not wearing woolen socks? Then why didn't you say so in the first place? Because it's none of your business. It simply marvels me the way you decide what's my business and what's your business. Well, my feet are my business. And if you catch cold, I suppose that's your business, too. If I catch cold, then that's my business, too. Ah, no, if you want to stay home and have to stay home and complain around the house and drink hot lemonade. And if I have a cold, I will not stay home and complain around the house. Oh, you'd rather go to that office and have me worry about you all day. Yes, I certainly would, and much rather. Fine way to behave, I must say. A very noble, upstanding way to behave. That's the way I behave, and that's final. David, what are we arguing about? You don't have cold, have you? We're not arguing. But one thing has to be clear. If I have a cold or not, it's my business. Do you have a cold? I have not. But, David, you just said that it... I said, I said absolutely nothing of the sort. All right, you said nothing of the sort, but I distinctly heard you say that you... Is that why you slept badly? David, please don't look at me that way, please. It's the only way you deserve to be looked at. All right, you win. You win. I will say another word about it. Fine. Except just one more, you know, general reminder. No. As I said, it is freezing out and it's a long way to the station and a long way to New York and a long way... So I suppose you want me to wear my long, woolen underwear, hmm? David, that's a brilliant idea. Why don't you? Oh, jumpin', gee, holster back. You can't possibly be mine, dear, because you suggested it. Now, go away, go away. Is it about you and taking care of yourself anyway? Well, I don't need you to tell me how. That's what. Well, that's not the way it looks to me. What do you think I did all those years before we were married? I simply shuddered to think you must have frizzed all winter and burrowed all summer. Exactly. David, what's the matter? Are you too good to wear a sweater? Much too good. I'm even too good to catch a cold. Pride goeth before a fall. David, why do you keep talking about cold? Are you sure you don't have one? No, I had to go and open my big mouth. Now, leave me alone. I want to tie my tie and I can't tie my tie. I know. I know. You can't do it while we're talking. Oh, listen, David, why don't you put on a woolen tie? Why? To keep my Adams Apple warm? It's even stylish, darling. So becoming to you. Oh, David, look at the frost on the windows. I can hardly see out. Trees are all icy. Lovely, isn't it? Guy, I'm certainly glad I'm not a bird on a day like this. Oh, look, there's some puddles of ice on the lawn. Ooh, makes me cold. Just look at it. Pull down the shade. Your hands are cutting no ice with me. I was only talking to myself. You look very handsome in that tie, if I do say so myself. Are you ready? I'm just taking my tobacco pouch. Oh, I hope it'll snow soon. It'll just have to snow on Christmas or I'll never forgive him. Forgive who? Who? The weatherman, of course. You certainly are pixelated this morning. Here, I'll say goodbye to you here. Oh, no, I will not say goodbye to you here. I know you. You want me to come down so you can sneak out without your overcoat. I know. What on earth do you take me for, anyway, a fool? No, not exactly. Just a man. You really think I want to go outside improperly dressed for the winter air, half-robed and underclothed, to shiver and sleep? Well, I don't think you really want to, David, but I think you're torn between being manly and being sensible. No, don't be ridiculous. And I just don't see why you can't be manly and sensible both. Besides, you're perfectly manly, just the way you are. Have you finished? No, but then I guess I better stop. I'll bet you're heartbroken that fur lined and raccoon coats went out of style for men. Oh, you look gorgeous in a raccoon. David, I don't really think your winter coats are going to be raccoon. Now, I'm not buying another one this year, now. Then you don't think it's heavy either. Will you stop putting words in my mouth? Darling, I know how you hate being sick, and I just thought... And they do say an ounce of prevention is worth a... I don't mind an ounce, but a ton is too much. And put that muffler down, Mrs. Naughton. Oh. I didn't realize I picked it up. No, I didn't realize. Well, I have enough around my neck without a muffler. How'd you like a couple of arms? I'd prefer a couple of arms to a muffler. There, there. But, Claudia, you're choking me. I just want you to know that I love you. Well, I know you love me, and you're choking me, too. And I want to apologize. I'm a nag. Yeah, I know. Honestly, it takes a nag to get you to do anything. Even then, you don't do it. Whew. The eternal cry of a woman. She wasn't a nag when she married him, but her husband made her what she is today. Then you are accusing me of being a nag. Well, just for the seasoning. I forgive you. Thanks. How lenient you are. I think you'd be really happy if I left the house every morning looking like a stuffed teddy bear. Oh, that'd be sweet. A couple of sweaters under my jacket, a fur-lined coat so that I'd be all hunched up and couldn't move, galoshes on my feet and earmuffs on my ear and fleece-lined gloves on my hands. Better and better. Whew. I suppose you think that's how the well-dressed males should be out there. Now, listen, that's going a little too far. That's exaggerate. Aren't you going to put on your rubbers? My rubbers? What for rubbers? Because it's wet out, idiot. Well, you said it was icy out. The ice might melt by the time you come home. Well, good. Then it'll be warm. Oh, yes, good. Then you'll get your feet wet. That'll be fine. Oh, David, listen. Everybody wears rubbers. One is wet out. Even husbands. Even men. Gluff isn't wearing his rubbers, and he's not wearing them. I won't. Besides, I'm bigger than he is. I give up. When you get whimsical, I give up. That's good. Then I'll have to get whimsical more often. Don't. I hate whimsicals. So do I. But you drive me to it. Well, as long as I don't drive you into anything else. Drink. Dope. I'm ready to brave the elements. You see, you admit it's going to take courage. Every time I open my mouth, I put my foot in it. Okay, maybe that's why you don't want to wear rubbers. Well, a pretty good reason. Oh, listen. You'll be coming back on the usual train. Yeah, I expect so. And I wish it were tonight. Because if you were coming back, darling, I'd have a nice hot cup of tea on the coffee table, and a fire in the hearth, and your tweed jacket on the chair. It'd be so lovely. Well, it sounds almost worth coming home tonight. It does? You know, you are an awful nuisance. You know it? Yep, I know it. But for some reason, I have a soft spot in my heart for you. Well, it's nice of you to say so. I'll confess something else, too. I don't like your worrying about me, but on the other hand, I like your worrying about me. I know what you mean. David, I just wish you could... Now, don't say it. Don't say it. Darling, listen to the wind. You know how you hate to have a cold, and you know you're going to... Yeah, I've been listening to the wind the past 15 minutes. I should have left five minutes ago instead of being so nice to you. If you do catch wind, you'll probably blame it all on me. I probably will. That's why I... That's why I... Yes, go on. I... Achoo! David, I sneezed. How clever of you. Achoo! I sneezed again. Darling, you don't think you're catching cold, do you? Of course not. Why should I be? I bet that's why you've been so apprehensive about me. It has nothing to do with that whatsoever. How do you feel? Do you have a temperature? David, if you can't a person sneeze... Maybe you ought to go back to bed and drink some hot tea or mustard plaster. I certainly will not. Well, now, at least don't go out of the house today. It's very cold. David, will you kindly stop treating me like a baby or as if I didn't have any sense? I still don't like the way you sneeze. Does... Does your head ache? You got any temperature? Heaven! David. Hmm? Are you the way I sound when you sneeze? Yes, I... I guess I am, but... But I am serious. David, I will make a bargain with you. You will? I'll leave you alone, David. Always, forever. I'll leave you absolutely alone, if you'll leave me alone. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Well, it does sound inviting. You mean that that is a deal? It's a deal if you're feeling all right. If I'm feeling all... Oh, David, believe me, all I did was just... Just... Oh, God! Gesundheit. Any good neighbor policy consists of friendly give-and-take, of hospitality, pleasantly shared. Ice-cold Coca-Cola makes such hospitality easy. As soon as those frosty bottles appear, welcome is in the air. Or truly, where there's Coke, there's hospitality. Oh, Mr. King, who was that that sneezed? Well, who do you think, Mrs. Brown? Well, not David, I hope. Claudia'd be impossible, and so would he. No, not David. You're safe. Hmm. I hope Claudia's not catching cold, either. I'd better go and see what's going on, hadn't I? Oh, nothing's going on, believe me, Mrs. Brown. Claudia and David are perfectly healthy. Good. Though I wasn't the least bit worried. Of course not. Say, Mrs. Brown, do you smell snow in the air? Snow? Well, I'm not much of a weathervane, I'm afraid. Yep, that's snow a-coming. Ought to be here for Monday. First snow is very exciting. I'll see you Monday, Mr. King. All right, Mrs. Brown. Every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again Monday at the same time. And now this is Joe King saying au revoir. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola. For Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes. And ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere. The parts of Claudia and David on this program were played by Katherine Bard and Paul Crabtree. And the entire production is supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney. And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola.