Your Coca-Cola Bottler presents Claudia, based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken. Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. Relax and while you're listening, refresh yourself, have a Coke. And now, Claudia. This kitchen is cold. Thanksgiving. Baking soda. Now let's see where is the baking soda. Oh, here it is. I guess I'm only human after all. Glass and spoon. Mm-hmm. There we are. Looks good. Well, here's to good health and good digestion. Yeah, that's better. Now maybe I'll be able to sleep. What a night. Well, it's not the Lord and Master himself. Roger, what are you doing up at this unholy hour? Oh, just taking a constitutional. Everything all right? Everything's fine. What could be the matter? No, nothing. What are you doing up at this hour? I just woke up, that's all. Oh, that's a glass in your hand. Oh, so it is. I just had a glass of water. I was thirsty. Oh, what else are you holding there, David? Beautiful night, isn't it? Oh, yes, beautiful. What are you holding there? This? As I live and breathe by cobbled in of soda. What do you know? For mother, of course. And Claudia, of course. You know I never have to take anything. Of course. What's the matter? Couldn't you sleep? Oh, I slept fine while I was sleeping. I had a few nightmares, of course, but otherwise I slept fine. Nightmares, eh? I had a few nightmares too. I dreamed a live turkey was eating me. Very interesting. Very apt. Going back up to bed? Yeah, I don't think I'm quite ready yet. What about you? I thought I'd walk around a little while. You're feeling all right, aren't you? Oh, yes, yes, I'm feeling fine. Did you leave some bicarbonate of soda for me? For you? I feel all right, perfectly. I'm just a little uncomfortable. Yes, I know. Overeating, yes. It's very stupid of me. It certainly was. You should know by now that whatever I stuff myself, it bodes no good. Well, you're not the only one. You mean you? You of the iron constitution? I mean old Ironsides himself. Oh, that makes me feel ever so much better. I thought perhaps I made a glutton of myself. No, you did. Everything was so delicious, and after all, Thanksgiving does come only once a year, thank heaven. Mm-hmm. And I have to give my ulcers something to do once in a while, don't I? No, here's the baking soda. Help yourself. I think it was that second helping of sweet potatoes. Yes, that was it. Very rich. Sweet potatoes. Funny, I thought that was your homemade ice cream was what did it. Oh, well. Well, here's to you, David. Here's to a beautiful dinner and a dreadful night. Bottoms up. Oh, that's better now. Mmm. Going back up to bed. I think I'll walk around down here a little while. I don't want to wake up Claudia. She's sleeping soundly. Tied as a drum. If I didn't love her so much, I could probably hate her for it. Oh, nothing ever bothers Claudia. She sleeps, she eats, and she sleeps. Wonderful, wonderful. The sleep of the innocent and the young. Hmm. Oh, I'm starting to feel less uncomfortable. Yes, very much. So am I. Let's go into the living room. We can sit down there for a while. Fine with me. I'll leave the light on. I may need another glass. Suppose you realize, of course, that this scene is being duplicated in kitchens and living rooms all over the country. Yes, I can imagine. It consoles me. Makes me feel a great deal better to know that I'm just one of a very vast number of the overindulgents. It makes you feel better. Go right ahead. Oh, yes. It's much better sitting up and lying down. It was a lovely day, David. Oh, boy. Beautiful Thanksgiving. I'm not the least bit sorry for any of it. Not even to that extra mouthful. Not even. Neither am I. I suppose we should feel slightly ashamed and humiliated, but no, it was worth it. What was that? I didn't hear anything. Probably the wind. Stairs creaking. Well, good morning, gentlemen. Oh, as I live and breathe, me own mother-in-law. Good morning, Mrs. Brown. Or should I say good evening or good night? Tell me what's going on here. I feel as if I'd wandered into a lunch meeting. We were talking. Nothing unusual about that at 2 a.m. That's right, just talking. What brings you around, Mrs. Brown? Well, I thought I had a noise a while back. That was Bluff. He fell over me as I came downstairs. Oh. He didn't see me in the dark. Of course. So I thought I'd get up and be sure everything was quite all right. Well, I'm sorry he woke you up. Oh, don't apologize for him. I was awake. Not able to sleep? Not very well. I had some bad dreams. Well, that makes three of us. Mrs. Brown, the bicarbonate of soda is sitting by the sink with a glass and a spoon all ready for you. You mean you two? You men? We two. I think it was the chestnuts that did it. I never could resist chestnuts. Now that makes chestnuts, sweet potatoes, and ice cream the guilty ones so far. I should have known better. When it comes to Thanksgiving, I throw all cautions to the winds, all judgment out of the window. You're one of a vast multitude. But I don't regret it. Neither do we. At least I don't think I regret it. Still, I feel so stuffed. Well, you look as trim as ever, Mrs. Brown. Don't believe it. Well, it's very pleasant to have somebody to talk to. I'll be right back. She's a delightful woman. Yes, she is. She's strong and gentle and she's a real woman. She bodes well for Claudia. I think so. Though Claudia bodes well for herself. You're a very lucky man, David. As much as I love my wife at this moment, right now, I don't think I'll ever be able to speak to her again. You mean she's sleeping entirely too well? Entirely. She has no soul, no spirit, no sense of sympathy. How can she lie there in her warm bed while the three of us sit here dosing ourselves, stuffed and uncomfortable? It's age, David. Claudia still has the digestive tract of a child. Oh, I feel better now. Well, sit down, Mrs. Brown, and join the happy little circle. I'm not very presentable. Nonsense. And at two o'clock in the morning, one neither gives nor demands apologies. You know, David, the fact that the three of us can sit here, condoling with each other, instead of giving each other murderous looks, is a great tribute to the human race. You think so? Yes. Moments of this sort, I usually want to retire and retreat to my lair. I welcome solitude and I hate everybody. I always thought misery loved company. You're getting sleepy, David. I think so. Hope so. I'm starting to revive too. Oh, dear, oh dear, oh dear. What dreams I had. But somehow I don't even mind having indigestion in this house. It's so very pleasant. No, Jew, what are you doing up? Where did you come from? It's I. What I'm doing up is none of your business and I come from upstairs. I woke up, David, you weren't there. I was here. So I see. What are you doing here? Matter of fact, what's everybody doing here? Oh, we're just sitting around talking. Just sitting around talking. Figuratively speaking. How are you feeling, my darling? Fine, never better. Why? Just ask. Oh. You see what I mean, David? Yes, I certainly do. I see exactly what you mean. You know, you all look sort of, sort of gloomy. We all feel sort of gloomy. You do? Why? Oh, no reason. You're feeling all right, aren't you, mama? Tell me. I'm feeling fine. Really? I had a sort of feeling in the pit of my stomach. Yes? What kind of a feeling? Oh, that you weren't feeling so well. Oh. What's the matter, darling? Too much dinner? Oh, no, no, no. We're fine. I just woke up and Roger just woke up and mama just woke up and that's all there is to it. Oh, good. Say, would anybody like a glass of milk? A glass of milk? No, I don't think I want a glass of milk. A glass of milk? Hmm. You know, that might not be a bad idea. Glass of milk. No. Some hot tea? I might like some hot tea. Good. We can put the kettle to boil. It'll only take a minute. I like being up in the middle of the night like this. It's sort of an extra dividend of the day. You, you really slept well, darling. Not a nightmare or not anything? Not anything. Why? Should I have a nightmare? No, no reason. I'm sorry I woke you up. Oh, don't be sorry. It's lovely down here. What were you talking about? We weren't talking much, no. I'm about ready to go back to bed. No, I'm feeling about ready too. Oh, no, now listen. Now don't go. I just came. I know. Let's stir up a fire. Let's not. Well, then let's uh, let's eat something. Eat? Well, it's a shame just to go to bed when we're all up. Why? Well, because if we're just gonna go back to bed, we might as well have stayed there in the first place, obviously. Obviously. You don't have to excuse her, Roger, but two in the morning she doesn't make any sense. Where are you going, darling? In the kitchen in a minute. You know, Roger, that my carbonate of soda worked wonderfully. I feel like a new man. I feel pretty well myself. Nice and light. Yes, I feel fine. Nothing seems to have bothered Claudia. Give her time. She's still young. No, I'm not so old and to prove it, I could eat a slice of white turkey myself. A thin slice of white meat. It was a delicious turkey. There's some left in the icebox. All right. Who's with me? I know I'm going to go down for the third time, but I'm with you, David. And I am too. Claudia? Claudia, you in the kitchen? Yeah, I'm just getting some water to blot. You know, it's funny. His tongue was hanging right out of the corner of his mouth. Any turkey left? Certainly it's in the icebox. Help yourself. Turkey? Are you serious? Certainly we're serious. Would you deny us a sliver of turkey? No, but, but I... Who'd like some pickle with it? A pickle? I think I could say a pickle. I'll make mine a sandwich, David. Cut me a little dark meat. My appetite is certainly coming back. Look at this bird. Not going to be very much left for cold turkey over the weekend. That's all right. This is what it's for. Claudia, you want a drumstick or a wing? David, are you really going to eat turkey? Of course we're going to eat it. And a pickle? And a pickle. And a slice tomato and milk? No, a slice tomato and milk. I didn't realize I was so hungry. I guess, Mr. Killian, you and I aren't so old after all. And if Claudia can get my Thanksgiving dinner without a peep, so can we. And now, my love, have a slice of turkey. David. Yes? Darling, would you be terribly disappointed with me if I had a glass of bicarbonate instead? Disappointed? Darling, you've never said anything that pleased me more. Bottoms up. Bright, friendly red coolers beckon on every street and highway, offering you ice-cold Coca-Cola. And they're welcome sites indeed when you seek the pause that refreshes. But did you ever happen to think that you have a white cooler right in your kitchen? It's your family ice box. Fill it with Coke, and it'll help everyone in the house to work refreshed, lunch refreshed, and play refreshed. And how did you fare with Thanksgiving dinner, Mr. King? I fared just about as well as you fared, Mr. Killian. Well, then, just pretty fair. But better now. You're staying up here all weekend, Mr. Killian? Perhaps until Sunday evening. Oh, you won't be here Monday for breakfast. Anything special going on Monday morning for breakfast? No, not especially. Just that David finally finds out that Claudia is a victim. Victim? Victim of what? Victim of a radio program. Breakfast with Betty in George Pringle. One of those? Yes, one of those. It'll be very interesting. You should hear all about it. Well, see you around next week, Mr. Killian. And many more Thanksgivings with Claudia and David, Mr. King. Same to you. Many more happy Thanksgivings. Every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again Monday at the same time. Have a good one. And now this is Joe King saying au revoir. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola. For Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes. And ice cold Coca-Cola is everywhere. The parts of Claudia and David on this program were played by Katherine Bard and Paul Crabtree. And the entire production is supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney. And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola.