Your Coca-Cola Bottler presents Claudia, based on the play and novels by Rose Franken. Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. Relax, and while you're listening, refresh yourself. Have a Coke. And now, Claudia. Claudia. Yes, Mama, what is it? How do you expect me to measure this skirt with you jiggling all over the living room? Oh, sorry. And please hand me a few more pins from the top of the table. With pleasure. Pins, pins, pins. Nice, shiny pins for the lady in the green hat. How is that? That's fine. Now, if I can just get the back of your hem even with the front. Mama. Now what? I don't see why you have to put the pins in your mouth. Because that's the only way to do this in a hurry. If you got here when you said you were going to, you wouldn't be in such a hurry now. Where were you all day? Trans-referral. You were supposed to be here at three o'clock and you didn't get here at five. And I? Mama, you don't think you can keep a secret from me, do you? Certainly I can. All I have to do is put the pins back in my mouth and my lips will be permanently sealed. You went shopping for a present for me. A present for you? Yeah. I must say I have better ways of spending my time. But even if you come up with the right answer, I'm not supposed to tell you. There is something, then, a surprise. A surprise. I'm surprised. You're so suspicious. Can't I be a few hours late without being subjected to a cross-examination like any old bank robber? I'm going to figure this out very systematically. Now, let's see. It's the first of the month. What always happens on the first of the month? You only stand still for two minutes. I can have this hint. The beginning of a new month. Who do you see once a month? Mama, it's Aunt Louisa. What about Aunt Louisa? Where did she come from? She came right in from Long Island on the first of April to have lunch with you. Stand still now. Of course. And she shopped in town to get me a present for when the baby's born. Well, if it isn't Detective Lieutenant Norton, then when did you join the force? I've been a member of the force man and boy for these thirty years. Oh, no. Aunt Louisa isn't going to give that poor baby one of those soup tureens. You ungrateful child. Isn't it too bad that silver stores won't take things back when they put your monogram on them? No, they haven't put our monogram on. Mama, we won't even have room for a tureen in the house at Eastbrook. We haven't got a closet big enough. Can't you put it outside the door with potted plants? Potted plants? Mama, you're fooling. Oh, dear. Aunt Louisa's so generous and it is sweet of her to give us a present at all and they're so expensive. Perhaps she hasn't definitely given the order. Maybe if I call her and just sort of hinted that we never eat soup, she wouldn't have the monograms put on. Mama, do I dare? Her phone number is Rockland Center, 867. And if you let on I said anything to you, I'll deny categorically that I ever had a daughter and that her name was Claudia. I'll be very careful. I won't even say you're here. Hello, operator. Please give me Rockland Center, 867. This is Plaza 55597. You watch and see how carefully I do this. You're wasting your time just being a prospective mother. You should be at least our ambassador to Moscow. Oh, it's too cold in Moscow. Hello? Hello, Aunt Louisa. This is Claudia. Oh, I'm fine. And how are you? And your asthma? It's a lot better. I'm so bad. For dinner? You'd like us to come for dinner next Wednesday? Claudia, I was only fooling. It's April Fool. April Fool? Oh, no, I wasn't talking to you, Aunt Louisa. It's awfully sweet of you to ask us for dinner and we'll be there on Wednesday. I'm so glad your asthma's better. Goodbye. Mama, you ungrateful mother playing a joke like that on your own daughter. In the first place, I didn't play it on you. You insisted on playing it on yourself. And the second place, you'll have a lovely dinner. I had just forgotten completely that it was April Fool's Day. I wonder if David remembers. I want nothing to do with whatever comes out of that look on your face. I bet he's forgotten all about it, too. I wish I hadn't reminded you. Yes, you had a wonderful time filling my house with imaginary soup tureens. And now you just don't want me to have fun, too. I don't think David would care very much about soup tureens. What does he care most about? I know. Our house in the country. Claudia, I don't think you'll be able to fool David for a minute. Oh, won't I? I can keep the straightest face you ever saw. You may be able to keep a straight face, but I never heard of you keeping a secret. Well, I'll keep this one all right. Just long enough. I'll tell David that Mr. Paradiso called and we won't be able to move into the house on April 15th. When do the new tenants move into this apartment? April 15th, that's the whole point. We won't have anywhere to go and I'll get David to start calling up all the hotels to get a reservation. That sounds more like an April Fool's joke on the hotels than it does on David. I love to stay in a hotel. I love to. In a minute you'll forget this is a joke. Can't you just picture how excited he's going to be when he hears? I can picture it exactly. He'll say, April Fool, they won't believe this for a minute. His nostrils will wiggle and he'll put down his pipe and he'll say all kinds of things about Paradiso. And you and I aren't going to open our mouths until he's made a dozen telephone calls. Just one thing, Claudia. I'm not a party to this. I don't know a thing about it. Of course not, neither do I. That's the whole point. There's David now. Quick, start fixing my dress. Hello, David. I wish I could whistle back, but Mama has pins in her mouth. David, listen, I've got something to tell you before... Darling, before you tell me anything, I've got something important to tell you. You have? Yes. Maybe you'd better sit down. And Mama, take the pins out of your mouth. Me sit down? Maybe you'd better, because I'm afraid this is going to be a terrible disappointment to you. Whatever it is, it sounds terrible. Mama, you'd better take the pins out of your mouth. Now, how can I tell you? Let me see, darling. Yes? Darling, would you mind having to live in a hotel for a while? In a hotel? No, no, no. Don't say they're expensive, because they're timed when you just can't help the expense. David, what are you trying to say? My dear woman, I had a phone call today. Is that unusual? From Eastbrook. That's not unusual. From Paradiso. Paradiso? And this was the message. The house will not be ready for us to move into on the 15th of April. The house won't be ready by the... David, did you say that Paradiso said the house wouldn't be ready? Yes. That, my darling, is exactly what I said. That's what I thought you said. Mama, is that what you thought he said? That's what I thought he said. I was right. You are a sport, darling. I knew. I just knew that you would take it standing up. I'm practically not standing up. Darling, it's not so tragic. We'll have a nice vacation in a hotel. But I don't want a hotel. I want to move into our house. Mama, I had a feeling just before David came when you and I... I'm putting the pins back in my mouth. You don't have to now. David, when did he call? When did he call? Now, let me see. And just exactly what did he say? What did he say? Now, let me see. Just how soon after the 15th can we move in? Well, he didn't exactly say... He didn't say... Oh, that's a terrible sign. It probably won't be for weeks. Or maybe just a day or two. He ought to pay, David. Paradiso ought to pay for while we're in the hotel. Paradiso? Now, come, darling. It's not Paradiso. Well, if he doesn't pay, somebody else should have to pay. Why do we always have to be the ones who pay and pay and pay? Because you're a woman. I've half a mind to call that Paradiso and give him a piece of my... The other half of your mind. David, I don't understand you at all. You don't seem to care at all. Well, darling, I'm not going to lose any sleepover. Oh, you will, if you have no place to sleep. Remember what happened the last time we tried to get a room in a hotel? I remember. That reminds me. You had better start calling right away and make reservations or else... I'm not moving out of my apartment again, thank you. You're welcome. You're right, David. We'll start calling right now. Where's the phone book? In the bedroom. I'll get it. Don't move, darling. I'll get it. Mama, isn't it terrible? That's what you get for trying to play jokes on people. Oh, that's different. With me, it was a joke. With David, it's serious. It's not that serious, Claudia. You spend a day or two in a hotel. You'll love it. I love it when it's by choice, not by necessity. Well, darling, I admire your spirit. You do? I was just thinking I didn't have any. I behaved much worse about it than you did when I heard about it. Darling, now come to think of it, I'm not really as upset as I seem. It'll give us more time to move. I can get the furniture arranged before we move in. And we won't have to move out of one place and into another all the same day. You know, I'm starting to think it's much better this way. You know, I think so, too. You do? Absolutely. I'm really very pleased the way things turned out. And I'm going to call the Slater this minute and get ourselves a reservation. This minute? We can't waste any time. Well, tomorrow we'll do. Never put off till tomorrow? What you can do today, I always say. You always say. Always, didn't you know? Now, what's that number? Let's see. Here we are. Murray, hello. Are you sure it's the Slater you want to call? Oh, yes. I'll answer it. Oh, I'm right here. I've got it. Hello? This is Mrs. Norton. Mr. Paradiso? It's Mr. Paradiso, speaking of the devil. Let me talk to him, Claudia. Yes, Mr. Paradiso. The house. You mean you've got some more news since you called my husband this morning? I think I'd better talk to him, dear. What? You didn't call this morning? Are you sure this is the first time you're calling today? You should have let me talk to him. Claudia, I suspect that... Yes, Mr. Paradiso. Claudia, I... it was all a joke, Claudia. Yes, Mr. Paradiso, not until the 17th or 18th. And you'll let us know. It was just a joke, Claudia. It was a wonderful joke, David. What did you say was the number of the Slater Hotel? Young lady, if you think you can pull my leg, your joke has gone too far. Mama, you're right. It's gone much too far. That was Mr. Paradiso on the phone. And his message was that the furnace will be delayed until the 14th, and we won't be able to move up to the farm until at least three or four days after that. What did you say, Claudia? Three or four days? That's what I said. Are you joking? Do I sound like I was joking? You and your April fool. Fine kind of a joke to play on a person unsuspecting... No, no, no, operator. I didn't say April fool. At least I said it, but I wasn't talking to you. I want to talk to the room clerk. Yes, I'll wait. Hmmmm, tum, tum, tum, tum, tum. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Pup, pu, pum, pum, pum. Many of us have had to deny ourselves certain of the good things of life lately because they've gone up so in price. But there's one thing we can all still enjoy, and that's ice cold Coca-Cola. Coke was five cents in 1886, and it's still five cents today. Yet it's the self-same delicious drink it always has been. The drink you relish whenever you want, the pause that refreshes. Well, Mr. King, Claudia and her April fooling should teach somebody a lesson. But I don't know who or what. Well, the lesson's not important, Mrs. Brown. Just having fun. And I wouldn't take that hotel too seriously. I think they'll be going to the country as planned. Oh, but don't let them think they're the only ones going anyplace. I understand Julia and Hartley are leaving for London tomorrow. So Claudia said, and she and David are seeing them off at the boat. That ought to be exciting. I hope the boat doesn't leave with them on board. I'd certainly miss them. So would I, Mr. King. Well, goodbye. Goodbye, Mrs. Brown. As I was about to say, every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again tomorrow at the same time. And now this is Joe King saying au revoir. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola. For ice-cold Coca-Cola makes any pause, the pause that refreshes. Claudia has come to most of you now for the past six months. We'd welcome any suggestion or anything you may wish to say about our show. Write to Claudia, post office box number 173, Church Street Station, New York 8, New York. Now let me repeat, write to Claudia, post office box number 173, Church Street Station, New York 8, New York. And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola.