Your Coca-Cola Bottler presents Claudia, based on the play and novels by Rose Franken, brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself, have a Coke. And now, Claudia. Well David, I'm glad there's one cheerful man in this office at any rate. What's wrong Roger? I thought you liked the idea of going to Chicago. I like the idea of going to Chicago and meeting Carrington and of getting our freight terminal underway, but I do not like the idea of leaving New York. Well, I guess we can't have everything. I know, one of the most dismal facts of human existence is the difficulty of being in two places at the same time. Well, you won't have to be in Chicago very long, I hope. Makes no difference. The trouble is that I must be there at all. David, I'm going to ask you and Claudia to do me a favor. Oh, we'd feel honored, Roger. Do you want us to entertain a maiden aunt or get your laundry back? Perhaps it's a combination of both. I'd like you to keep an eye on my son, Jeffrey, while I'm away. I'm glad to. Oh, don't be hasty, David. He may be more of a handful than you imagine. Oh, I doubt it. I really don't know. He's away at boarding school, you know, and he's at that age of rapid changes. I see him perhaps once in three months and his behavior on one occasion is no clue to what he'll be like three months later. Seems to me I remember what that's like. A year ago he seemed to be planning a career in professional football. He was 15 then. Last fall he was determined to become an art critic. Around Christmas I had an actor for a son. And now, David, well, in a few hours you will know more about Jeffrey than I do. When's he coming to New York? Well, he'll be leaving Boston around noon. He spent most of his vacation up there with his grandmother. And he should be here about five. Exactly. Can't stay at a hotel. His mother, of course, is away campaigning for something or other very worthy. And now that I have to go to Chicago, you are really the only people I can turn to. Oh, we'd be delighted, Roger. We have an extra room and we'd love to have him stay. It's very good of you, David. Jeffrey's 16 now, isn't it? He was 16 about two months ago. That's wonderful. Claudia's only 19, so they'll get along famously. Well, after all, he's only three years younger than she is. You'd be surprised how long three years can be. I'm looking forward to learning. We'll expect Jeffrey for dinner tonight, then, Roger. That's very good of you. Let me see now. It's a quarter of ten. I have half an hour to get the station from my train. I'll send Jeffrey a telegram. He'll get it before he leaves for his station. And he should be at your apartment at six o'clock. David, it's six o'clock. Jeffrey should be here any minute. He should be if he can find the place. Why shouldn't he find it? Maybe he doesn't want to spend the night with a couple of old fogies. David, you are not an old fogie. In fact, you're not even a young fogie. Thank you very much. You're welcome. You overwhelm me with your flattery. I've never heard of a young fogie, have you? How could there be young fogies? There wouldn't be anything left for them to become when they get old. Do you think we're ever going to become old? I can't imagine. I'm old already. Old and foolish. I can't even learn any new trick. I mean really old with gray hair and rheumatism. Mmm, got rheumatism already. And remember, Piper, old lady? Just a minute. I steered my rocking chair, puffing away and watching the world go by and thinking to myself about the days when I was young. Here's your pipe, granddad. Do you think you can manage to light the match yourself? Well, daddy, I could have one last wild fling and try to light my own pipe myself. David, listen, what do you think Jeffrey's going to want to do for entertainment? Maybe play with the dog. He's 16, you said, not six. What can you do to entertain a boy 16? Roger didn't seem to know. The first thing you've got to do is to stop thinking of him as a boy. You aren't much more than 16 yourself. Madam, I'll never see 25 again. And I was 16 only three years ago. That's what I said to Roger, but he said those were very big three years. Oh, man, really. No wonder there's so much juvenile delinquency. And now listen, David, we've got to think of what Jeffrey would do if he were trying to do what he wanted to do. See? Sure I see. I see you don't know any more about 16-year-old boys than I do. David, I was just 16 a little while ago. Wouldn't you have married me if I was still 16? Stop this right now. You're only going to make me regret the years I wasted. I'm sorry I didn't marry you when you were two. You haven't really changed much since then. Darling, we haven't got time for this. I'm sure we've just got to treat him like everybody else. Maybe you're right. We'll just take him to dinner and then we'll go to that movie around the corner that we've been waiting for for weeks and we'll have a nice long talk about world affairs. Fine. You better make up your mind what you think about world affairs because there is Jeffrey. I'll go. Remember, we're going to treat him like an equal. I just hope he treats us like one. Hello. You must be Jeffrey Killian. I'm Claudia Norton, David's wife. How do you do? Please come in. Did you have a nice trip down from Boston? It was very pleasant, thank you. David, I'd like you to meet Jeffrey Killian. Hello, Jeffrey. Welcome to New York. Glad you got here. How do you do, Mr. Norton? Let's have your bag. I'll show you to your room. Oh, no, sir. Please let me carry it. It's rather heavy. Heavy? Well, I think I can manage. Don't you think so, Claudia? Of course. Excuse me, sir, but I think I'd better. Well, if you insist, Jeffrey. Yes, sir. You see, it's rather heavy, sir. I see. By now. You don't want to go to your room right away, do you, Jeffrey? Let's sit around and talk a while. You look very much like your father, and he's one of the nicest people in the world. Yes, Mrs. Norton. Thank you. Would you like to sit down, Jeffrey? I don't suppose you smoke yet. Oh, no, sir. We're not allowed to smoke until we're 18, sir. I see. Look, Jeffrey, I don't see why we can't all call each other by our first names. Mine's David. Yes, sir. You must go to a very good school, don't you? Yes, Mrs. Norton. It's the best school in the country. That's fine. But it must be nice to get away on a vacation now and then. I know, Roger, I mean, your father was very sorry he had to go to Chicago today and couldn't be here. But we were very glad for the chance to meet you. I'm very glad to meet you too, Mrs. Norton. I like to be with older people once in a while. Older people? You mustn't think of us as older people, Jeffrey. You must just think of us as friends of yours. Oh, I see, Mrs. Norton. Don't you think you could manage to call us, sir? Oh, well, never mind. Yes, sir. What do you usually do when you're on a vacation, Jeffrey? The usual thing, Mrs. Norton. What's the usual thing? Dances, sir. Parties. A theater or two. Oh, that must be lots of fun. I'm afraid you'd find it a bit juvenile, Mrs. Norton. I do myself. Then you mean you don't go? Oh, yes, sir. I go. Well, I just mean sometimes it's a waste of time. I like to explain that when I talk to older people. Sometimes they seem to get the wrong impression of us, sir. Jeffrey, you must really go to a very good school. Oh, yes. It's only during vacations that we have all these parties, Mrs. Norton. I'm glad you reminded me of that, Jeffrey. It's so long ago for me that I'd forgotten what it's like. I think maybe Claudia, I mean Mrs. Norton, remembers. Do you, darling? I do remember going to dances. Sort of. One of the things you'll learn, Jeffrey, as you grow older, is that ladies have the longest memories. I've noticed that already, sir. Why, of all the... Claudia, do you remember vacations from school? Do you remember your fortieth birthday? If you wouldn't think to look at me that I was over 40, would you, Jeffrey? Oh, no, sir. You look very young for 40. Well, thank you, Jeffrey. Now, what would you like to do this evening? We were thinking of going to a movie. Thought you might like to come along. Oh, I'm afraid I can't, Mr. Norton. Didn't Dad tell you, sir? Well, your father didn't tell me anything. I mean, anything that was much help. Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm going to a party tonight. A party? How exciting. It isn't really, Mrs. Norton. Perhaps you remember what they're like. Always the same people. Very young, usually jitterbugging. Although I'm happy to say that's on the way out. It is? Oh, yes. During the war, that was very popular, Mrs. Norton. But since then, things have changed a great deal. We've all grown a lot older. We've all grown a lot older since this morning, Jeffrey. A great deal older. Don't you think so, Mrs. Norton? Much older. David, I think I'm going to need help getting out of this chair. Oh, I'm so sorry. Something the matter? My wife, Jeffrey, suffers from rheumatism. I'm indeed upset to hear that, sir. My father has stomach trouble. I guess when people get to be... You don't need to finish that sentence, Jeffrey. You're perfectly right. Terrible things happen to people when they grow older. The worst part of it is that they happen when you least expect it. Did you expect all this to happen to you today, Claudio? I know just how it is, Mr. Norton. When I was younger, I used to be able to do all sorts of things I can't do anymore. What sort of things, Jeffrey? Well, up at school, there's a very famous little store called the Jigger Shop. What's a jigger? Well, nobody really knows. The shop is so old, they've forgotten. But the younger boys like to go in and eat the fanciest things you ever saw, Mrs. Norton. You mean banana spits and things like that? Oh, yes. I myself used to be able to eat two at a time, sometimes even three. Now I suppose you can't even force more than one. Well, Jeffrey, that's the way life is. You might as well view it philosophically. That's true. I can't eat more than one now. And as a matter of fact, sir, I've really lost my taste for them. You don't say. Except on special occasions like when we beat St. Mark's at football. It's funny. I love banana spits. You are an anachronism, darling. I am? I've heard that when people get much older, they begin to like the things they liked in the first place all over again. Jeffrey, I think you have put your finger on a very important consideration. Thank you, Mr. Norton. I really enjoyed this conversation very much, but I'm afraid I have to start getting dressed for the party. Oh, it's for dinner, Jeffrey. Yes, and please don't wait up for me. I'll be very, very late. Perfectly all right. We'll leave the door on the latch. It's certainly been nice talking to you like this. It's really a relief from talking to people of one's own age all the time. Jeffrey, before you go, maybe you'd like to guess just how old Mrs. Norton is. Well, sir, she looks very much like my uncle's wife. And how old is she? She's quite old, sir. She's at least 20. Thank you very much, Jeffrey. You've relieved me considerably. Well, thank you, sir, but I've got to get dressed, sir. It's the door down the hall to the right. Thank you. Well, I did my best to treat him as an equal, but I really think he's too old and wise for me. How do you feel? David, I feel just like an old fogie. Well, don't worry, darling. I think it'll turn out just as Jeffrey predicts, and your second childhood will set in again as soon as the young man goes back to Boston. If the lady of the house sometimes shows less enthusiasm for unexpected guests than her husband does, that's because it's her job to serve the refreshments, and occasionally it's a job that stumps her. But if she checks regularly to be sure there's plenty of coke on ice, she can stay bright and carefree no matter how much company knocks at her door. Keeping a good supply of Coca-Cola on hand is really a kind of hospitality insurance, it seems. Excuse me, Mr. King, sir. Oh, yes, yes, certainly, Jeffrey. Glad to see you. You enjoying your vacation? I certainly am, sir, and I hope I won't awaken Mr. and Mrs. Naughton when I get home from the party this evening. Do they retire very early, sir? Not always, Jeffrey. In fact, I hear tomorrow night after you've gone, Claudia and David are going out to paint the town red. Maybe you've given them an idea or two. A Mr. and Mrs. Naughton are going to a nightclub, did you say, sir? Well, that's what I understand, Jeffrey. I hope you won't disapprove of what happened. I'll try not, Mr. King, but I think, sir, I'd better hear what happened. I should hate to have been a bad influence. Well, Jeffrey, I don't think you have, but we'll see. And as I was about to say, every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again tomorrow at the same time. And now this is Joe King saying au revoir. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola. For ice-cold Coca-Cola makes any pause, the pause that refreshes. Claudia has come to you, most of you at any rate, for the past six months now. We'd welcome any suggestions or anything you may wish to say about the show. Just write to Claudia, Post Office Box number 173, Church Street Station, New York 8, New York. And I'll repeat that address to Claudia, Post Office Box number 173, Church Street Station, New York 8, New York. And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola.
