Your Coca-Cola Bottler presents, Claudia. Music Claudia, based on the play and novels by Rose Franken, brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. Relax, and while you're listening, refresh yourself. Have a Coke. And now, Claudia. What time do you think it would be best for me to go and visit Hartley, David? No, I should take any old time. This morning or this afternoon? Either one. Oh, you're no help. I'll think. If you were Hartley and you were sick in bed with gallbladder, what time would you like to see me most? All the time. Really? But that's you, not Hartley you're talking about. No, that's his law. Toss me the matches, would you, darling? Where are they? Right behind the marmalade. Oh, yes. Here. Thanks. Do other men have as much trouble keeping their pipes and matches together? Do other wives ask as many silly questions? What's silly about that? It's true. David, I was asking you what time you thought I should go to visit Hartley. Oh, I thought you were asking me about the other men and their other matches. Oh, be serious. If Julia were sick and you were going to visit her, what time would you go? I wouldn't. You wouldn't? Your own sister-in-law? No, I wouldn't. Well, all I can say is I'm glad I'm not your sister-in-law. Yes, I'm glad too, for many reasons. You mean you wouldn't want to be related to me? I should say not. Well, it's a fine thing to tell me after we've gotten married and everything. You bet it is. It is? Hmm. David, is being married being related? By choice, it's quite a different thing. But is it being related? Oh, actually, no. You know perfectly well that being related means being blood relative, being attached by blood. Oh. Well, then when we have the baby, we'll be related. Why? We'll have a blood relative in common. Are you serious? Well, it's what you said. It is not what I said, but we'll skip it. I still don't see why when we have the baby we should... Well, for the last time, I am going to the office. And I won't forget my matches, and thank you very much. Honey, you're a blood relative of Hartley's, but I think we are much more alike than you and he are. Yes, darling. David, what time should I go and visit your blood relative? Any old time. Any old time if you want. Oh, I wish I didn't have to go. I hate making sick calls. They're so unconversational. But I'd better... You are not fooling me, not for a minute. I know why you're going. I'm only going because... Because you know that Hartley will have lots of presents around, presents like candies and fruits and cakes and things like that. I haven't even thought of that. But that does make it more attractive, doesn't it? Candies and pates. Mmm. But I don't want you to think that's why I'm going. Even before you thought of it, I asked you what time I should go. Remember? Well, what time will you go? Oh, I don't know. Any old time. When I get hungry. Oh, Mrs. Norton. Good afternoon. Hello, Watson. Mr. Norton would be glad to see you. I know. How is he feeling? Rather undone, but sitting up, taking notice. Oh, I didn't know that a gallbladder made you feel sick. I thought it just kept you from eating. Poor Hartley. And how is Mr. David? Oh, he's fine. Not bad. Well, you may go right up, Mrs. Norton. And not good. The elevator is on this floor. I'd rather walk, thank you. Somehow I never trust these elevators that run by themselves. Claudia, is that you? It's me, Julia. Oh, sweet of you to come, Lamb. Hartley will be so pleased. He will? Why didn't you take the elevator? Oh, I'd just as leave to walk up. I always walk, too, but it's for my hips, not my soul. Hips? You haven't got any hips? You're very sweet. Actually, they're a full-time job. Hello, Lamb. Hello, Julia. How's Hartley? Restless and bored, so I suppose he's better. Oh, that's good. Women don't seem to have stomachs the way men do, do they? I'm afraid I don't quite follow you. At least not with gallbladders. I've never heard of a woman with a gallbladder, have you? Well, they all do have. I guess men must get it from the stock market, don't you think? I suppose the gall part of it is occupational. Yes, who is it? It's Claudia, Hartley. She's come to see you. Oh, fine, fine. Come on in. Well, well, Claudia. Hello, Hartley. Well, you don't look very sick. Well, I... I don't, huh? Well, that's the trouble. Julia here isn't quite convinced... Nonsense, Hartley. Dr. Gregg told me to be sure you stay in bed. Hartley, I've never seen so many beautiful flowers. You must have loads of friends. Well, I know loads of people who send flowers when other people are sick. I think they can hardly wait. Of course, we always send flowers, too. I love getting flowers, especially without any occasion, like being sick. Yes, that's nicest of all. Well, you'll excuse me, you two, won't you? Of course, my dear, of course. I must cancel my dinner for Friday night, and... Claudia, I'll see you before you leave, all right? Yes, Julia. Uh, Hartley, ring for Watson if you want anything. Hmm. Flowers are really beautiful, Hartley. Yes, yes. How's the farm coming along, Claudia? Oh, David says well. They've torn down one side of the house. Torn it down completely? Oh, no, just the walls. Come to think about, what else is there? But it's very exciting, Hartley. I can't wait till it's finished. I don't blame you, my dear. My, I'm a poor host. Claudia, help yourself to those petty fours. They're on the desk. Oh, Hartley, I couldn't. I didn't come here to eat. Go on, anyway. Take a handful. I can't eat them. Some friends of Julia sent them. If I ate only one, I'd be in bed a month. You can't eat even one? Hartley, that is awful. Well, in that case, I will take one. Hmm. Hmm. Oh, they're delicious. Uh-huh. Look, I've never seen such an enormous box of candied fruit. I can't eat those either. Oh, what's the use of being sick? Oh, it is a shame you couldn't have had a broken arm instead. I tell you what. You take that cake home with you. Have it for dinner. Oh, Hartley, no. I insist. But it was sent to you. So I can do with it as I wish. Take it, Claudia. Nobody will eat it here. It does seem a shame to let it go to waste. Exactly. And while you're at it, take those petty fours and candied fruit. And deliver Patty on that jar. Patty. David loves Patty, too. It's all yours. But, Hartley, this is all wrong. I'm supposed to have brought you something, not you, me. Come now, child. You and I, we don't have to stand on ceremonies. Take whatever you like. That box of roses, too. And I'll have Martin drive you home. Oh, I won't take that much, Hartley. I'll walk. Just the cake and the paté and... I envy you, my dear. I don't remember Julia and I ever enjoying things the way you do. So for me, take the cake and the paté and the roses and... And the candied fruits and the petty fours and the gumdrops and the chocolate. Claudia, how on earth did you get home? Hartley sent me in his car. David, was it awful of me? What? Bringing home all this stuff, Hartley insisted... Well, you weren't very hard to convince. You see, he can't eat it himself, so it seemed to me that... It shouldn't all go to waste. That's it. That's it. Greedy, greedy little girl. Greedy me? Mm-hmm. David, it was his idea. I repeat, greedy little girl. If you're so pleased with yourself, you hardly know where to begin gorging. Why should people send presents like that to somebody sick? Why do they send them to me, who could really enjoy them? Well, they don't know you in the first place. Oh, well, that's my bad luck, isn't it? Mm-hmm. Come on, David. Have a pity fall. No, thanks, darling. Dinner's pretty soon, isn't it? Oh, could you wait half an hour or so? I just want to enjoy all these things on an empty stomach. David, you never get a chance like this. Of course, I was planning to see Hartley anyway, so there's no reason why I should feel guilty about it. Oh, no, no, no. You just tackled Hartley at his weakest and stole all of his loot from him when he was too sick to fight back. Is that what I did? Looks like that to me. Have you no shame? None. He said he wanted me to. You don't think he didn't mean it, do you? Anyway, I'm going to begin with the cake. Go ahead and swallow your pride along with the first bite. Oh, you. You're a killjoy. This is the most marvelous opportunity. You'd think you never had a square meal. A square meal? What's a square meal? Here. Have a little piece. No, thank you. Good. There'll be more for me, then. With all the roses around, it's just like being sick without any of the trouble. I'm telling myself, darling, that your excitement is due to your scheduled motherhood, not to any lack of conscience. Now I know you're fooling. Whenever you start using big, important words like scheduled, well, here goes. I'll answer while you indulge. Who could it be? If it's company, you've got a good spread for them. Hey, Shakespeare, get down from there. That cake isn't for you. No, hello, but... No, you bluff. Well, all right, here's a little piece. I don't know. Just one. Darling, Bertha wants to know if she left her hot water bottle up here at any time. Up here? No, she... Oh, yes, David, from when I fell down. I have it. Good, I'll tell her. I'll tell her we'll bring it down. Hello, Bertha. What's the matter? Is she sick? Is Fritz all right? Yeah, we'll bring it down to you. No, don't come up. We'll bring it down. Fine. Well? Well, what do you know? Fritz broke his finger, fell down the basement stairs. No, David, that's awful. Well, it's not a serious fracture, darling. He'll probably be all right right away. Well, it's awful anyway. Well, I'll bring him down the hot water bottle while you put the dinner on, all right? All right. Where is he, dear? On the shelf in the bathroom. Which shelf? Just, I don't know, a second. Oh, here I... What's the matter? What are you worrying about now? Nothing. Much nothing? Except... Except what? Isn't it lucky in a way that Fritz broke his finger? What? Well, I mean, instead of getting appendicitis. What, on earth? Are you talking... I really couldn't eat all that stuff. Somehow it doesn't taste the same when you haven't earned receiving it. I mean, I don't even have a splinter or a headache and pate... Pate is such a luxury, you have to deserve it. And a broken finger deserves it. Besides which, Dr. Rowland said I shouldn't eat rich things. So I think you better give it all to Fritz, as long as it isn't appendicitis. See? I take it back. I take it all back. You're not greedy. As a matter of fact, you are very, very nice. As a matter of fact, I'm not very, very nice. I'm very, very full. And fate might come along and get me sick just to get even with me. Oh, David, wasn't it convenient of Hartley to get sick the same day Fritz broke his finger? This broadcast of Claudia was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney. It's good to know that more and more stores are installing Coca-Cola coolers these days. Next time you need a refreshing pause between errands, just make a beeline for that red cooler. Drop in five cents and enjoy ice cold Coke. You'll find the job goes better when you shop refreshed. Every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again tomorrow at the same time. And now this is Joe King saying au revoir. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola. Or ice cold Coca-Cola makes any pause, the pause that represses.