Your Coca-Cola Bottler presents Claudia. Claudia, based on the play and novels by Rose Franken, brought to you, transcribed Monday through Friday, by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. Relax, and while you're listening, refresh yourself. Have a Coke. And now, Claudia. David, you've got hours before dinner. You don't have to hurry. How long is hours? I'm hungry. About fifteen minutes. What have you been doing? Twiddling my toes. This is a very extraordinary occasion. Why? You've permitted me to shower, shave and dress without interrupting me once, not even one tickle. You feel nice and smooth and cool. What are you making that's kept you so preoccupied? I'm stuffing peppers. Doesn't sound very nice. Don't you like them? I like the pepper part. You like the stuffing part too, the way I make it. It's good enough to be eaten unstuck. Two a piece, is that enough? Sounds like plenty. The kitchen's warm. Let's go into the living room unless you have to watch those things. No, they'll cook faster if I don't. You know, I think watching things cook must embarrass them or something. I'll even put out the light so they won't think we're spying. I'm hungry. He's hungry too. Say, you know who I ran into today? Somebody hungry? In a different way. Reggie Finch. Oh, I met him New Year's Day at Julia's party, didn't I? Exactly. I never forget a face. He was very nice. I told him to call us up sometime. He's pretty lonesome, I guess. Of course he is. He's only a bachelor. We're lucky neither of us are bachelors. He's hungry too. And he doesn't want to wait. Oh, all right. Look, I'll feed you now. And you too. Come along, both of you. You look like the Pied Piper of Hamlin. You compare these two monsters to mice. You haven't seen them eat. Bluff costs a lot more to feed than you. I have already finished. Come and get it. Look at them, aren't they sweet? They're pigs. I really think we're living in a zoo. Like it. It's crowded, but what do you think? Would anybody else? I doubt it. Nobody else is that crazy. I think all the clocks ought to stop. Our doors should lock and you and I would live happily ever after. Just you and I, nobody else. Darling, don't you miss other people? Miss them? I haven't got room or time or desire for them, David. I've never been so happy. But darling, it's not right for two people to depend so much on each other for company. We're not company. And we're a lot more than two people, where you and me and Bluff... Yeah, you don't have to go through the list. I know it by heart. And that's enough for me. David, aren't you? Of course I am. But then don't frown like that. And don't worry about me until I tell you to. That's Mama. Want me to answer? Would you? I'd better watch Shakespeare so she doesn't steal Bluff's dinner. That cat has a tapeworm. Now take it easy, you beautiful old dog. Nobody's going to take your dinner away from you. Shakespeare, get away from that oven. You'll get singed. They'll be as angry as the singed cat. Careful now. Oh, they're beautiful. No, we're delighted. No, there's nothing to interrupt. 12C. Fine. It wasn't Mama. I couldn't be more surprised. It was Reggie Finch. Oh, he really called. And so quickly. You know, you get so used to saying, call me sometimes or see you sometime. But when a person called you, it's hard to believe. Where is he? What do you want? He was at the corner. He's on his way up here. Up here now? Do you mind? Well, no, but we haven't had dinner yet. There's enough for him, isn't there? I guess so. Oh, David, how can you divide four peppers three ways? That is a problem. I know. Break them up. Then he won't know how many there were in the first place. Break them up? I've been so careful to keep them together. Reggie won't mind. But he's from Newport and Long Island. What do you think? People from Newport and Long Island never saw broken up green peppers? They may have seen them, but I'll bet the closest they ever came to eating them was a green tomato. He might not even want to stay for dinner, darling. I don't know how he happens to be coming even, probably just to say hello or something. I better set another place in case. David. What is it, darling? Did you invite him this afternoon when you met him? No, of course not. I'd have told you. Why? It just seems like a coincidence that he should call right after you were telling me that we didn't see enough people. Yes, it is a coincidence, isn't it? Reggie's a funny guy. I've never seen him very much. Never knew him very well. But we've always just sort of touched each other as we went our separate ways. The last thing I expected was to have company tonight. David, I thought it would be just us. Oh, there he is. You go, darling, while I set the extra place and crumble the peppers, poor Finn. Well, Reggie, come on in. Don't you love the way I come blustering in at dinnertime? I think it's wonderful. It's the best time to go visiting, Reggie, but only the most civilized people know that. Well, I'll fool you. I like barbaric and leave just as soon as dinner is about to be served. You don't know my wife. If her guests don't eat, she sends them off to the hospital. Oh, I've got another appointment. Thanks anyway. Here, you can leave your coat right here. David, this is a lovely place. It is nice. We're leaving it. Oh, by desire or compulsion? Desire and compulsion. We're moving to a farm in the spring. To a farm? With pigs and cows and things? All of that, I hope. Well, well, of all things, Eastbrook. Eastbrook? Who do I know in Eastbrook? I don't know. Let's see. It could be Nancy Riddle, probably. Oh, yes, Nancy Riddle, dreadful woman. Why does she have to paint her hair so orange? Funny, I thought it was red. Last year. Pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, you two cats. You're worse than Shakespeare, both of you. Hello, Reggie. Hello, Claudia. I hope you don't mind this intrusion. Intrusion? What's that? Please sit down. She's very sweet, David. I told you. You're staying for dinner, aren't you? I'm so sorry. I was just telling David I had another appointment. Thank you for asking. So, you're going to become a farmer's wife, Claudia. I'm really sorry, but it looks like that, Reggie. Except, you know, I don't know a cow from a... What's the other thing? You'll learn, darling. You'll learn. Well, then, how do you know you want to live on a farm, of all places? Are you certain you want to let yourself in for living in a country all the year round? I do, for better, for worse, through weeds and through whatever else you live through on a farm. You're rushing into it, it seems to me. New Year's Day, you had no idea, did you? None at all. Isn't it wonderful? I adore rushing into things. I rushed into marrying David, and look what happened. You're having a baby. That's wonderful, too. You know, as a sort of dividend for marriage, like having a brook on a farm. Well, I must say, I've never heard of a farm compared to a marriage or a baby to a brook. I think it's very perceptive of you, Claudia. What is David? Good heavens he's big enough to eat me up. You needn't worry, Reggie. He just ate his dinner. Now I can understand why you're buying a farm. It's one way of keeping oversized pets and meat. Reggie, farms are for milk, not meat. Is she serious, David? Don't ask me. I only married her. Well, I'll be... Oh, you have another animal. This one's a cat. Oh, I thought it was a tiger. Waits advancing. How on earth have you accumulated all this? A house, a dog, a cat, and you're a few months married? Well, we haven't done much else. That's not true, David. We've also accumulated a baby, and let me see, what else now? Oh, my, that's plenty. I'm exhausted listening to you. I'm years older. And, well, you make me feel like a parasite. It's silly to feel like that, Reggie. After all, you're not us. And it's not your fault, is it, David? Claudia means that she feels lucky about life, Reggie. And, well, she might. No, I'm not you. I think I wish I were. That's Mama. That's you, Roger. That's you, 27. It's a deal. Shake. Shake. Sure. While you two are bargaining, would you like me to answer the telephone? I'll go. David, you didn't shake. Can't you take my word for it? No, I cannot. Well, I think I... Shh. I want to hear who it is. Oh, he's whispering. David, who is it? I'm sorry, Reggie. I didn't mean to interrupt you. Oh, not at all. This is very important. David, that's not fair. Who is it? Speak up, David. We can't hear you. That'll do it. Thank you very much. That was Roger. It was. Where's the proof? My word. Won't do. Why didn't you speak up if it was Roger? Yes, why didn't you? Well, Claudia, you owe me 20 cents. Claudia, don't pay him. You have no proof. You heard that, David. No proof. Besides, we never shook. I said shook. I'll bet anybody 20 cents that it was your mother all along. Reggie, I think you're probably right. You're a fine one, Reggie, no offence. Coming in here, into my happy home, breaking up my marriage, planting seeds of doubt into my wife's mind. Why, I, for half a mind... Why don't we call up your mother and see? That's a wonderful idea. I'll do it. You know what you've done? Claudia will never believe another word I say. It's not nice, David, to deceive your wife for measly 20 cents. I'm dying. David, you confess? I have nothing to confess. My honour is unblemished. It's ringing. Oh, my, I shall be very embarrassed if you were speaking the truth, David. And won't you if you weren't? It's still ringing. Claudia, if we lose, I shall put up the 20 cents for you. There's no answer. You see? Oh, dear, oh, dear. No answer, Reggie. I know. Maybe your mother called up for you from outside, not from her home at all. Of course that's what happened, isn't it? Of course. No, I'm not talking. David, isn't it? I said I am not talking. Well, Roger... That's an idea. No, he's out, too. You covered your tracks well. David, I'll tickle you if you don't tell me. You wouldn't dare. Wouldn't I, though? Reggie, hold his hand. Here I come, David. Cry, Marcy. Claudia, stop. Well, David... Well? Stop. I confess it was a wrong number. Oh, a wrong number. Sorry to disappoint you, but it was a wrong number. You always spoil all the fun. Well, I guess we might as well eat. Reggie, you are going to stay, aren't you? Oh, no, no, no. I must be getting along. Another appointment. I told a chap at the club that... Oh, I'm awfully sorry. We really have enough. You see, Bluff and Shakespeare have already eaten. Well, maybe next time, Reggie. Yes, maybe. Reggie, it was awfully sweet of you to drop off. I enjoyed it. Well, yes, I'm glad I did. And come again soon. Yes, I... Well, good night. Have a nice evening. We're really sorry you're not staying. You are? Mm-hm. Well, now I suppose I could. You could? You see, that other engagement, you know, well, it... You mean... You mean you can break it? No, I mean, I didn't have one. I was lonesome, thought I'd like to see you, but I didn't want to barge in on your dinner. Then you can stay. That's marvellous. No, I shouldn't. It's such an imposition. But eating alone is so... I know now, I know. We want you to stay, and we hope you want to, Reggie. And we have enough of everything, lots. Well, I do. I do want to, and I know you have enough of everything. That's why I thought alone. I came to call on you. I'm glad you did, Reggie, because we'll have a lot more of everything if you'll share it with us. Oh, Mr. Reginald Finch, would you do us the honour, the honour, good man, of staying to dinner? No, let me see. I had an appointment at the club. No, I couldn't possibly... Can you break the appointment? Oh, please do. We're having stuffed peppers. Stuffed peppers? I accept. I simply adore stuffed peppers, and do you know they never have them on the menu at the Ritz? Oh, so dull, the Ritz. These broadcasts are adapted for radio by Manya and Roger Starr, and the entire production is supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney. Hospitality, fortunately, doesn't depend on spending a lot of money or going to a lot of trouble. one of the surest signs of hospitality is a tray full of ice-cold Coca-Cola. And the full of ice-cold Coca-Cola. And coke still costs only five cents. Though it's the self-same delicious drink, folks have ordered for years, whenever they want, the balls that refreshes. Keep plenty of coke in the refrigerator, and you've plenty of good times in store. Every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again tomorrow at the same time. And now this is Joe King saying, Au revoir, and remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, you're welcome to come to the hospital. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola. For ice-cold Coca-Cola makes any pause, the pause that refreshes. Au revoir.