The Irene Dunn Fred McMurray Show. Starring Irene Dunn as Susan, and Fred McMurray as George. Together in a gay new exciting comedy adventure, Right Star. The Irene Dunn Fred McMurray Show. Starring Irene Dunn as Susan Armstrong, owner and editor of the Hillsdale Morning Star, and Fred McMurray as George Harvey, Susan's ace reporter. Right now this looks like Susan hurrying along the main street of Hillsdale, followed by a tall stack of bundles. The stack of bundles is complaining. Susan, do you have to walk quite this fast? Can't you keep up George? Yeah, I can keep up fine, but some of the packages are falling behind. Well, I didn't ask you to come, you know. I told you I was going shopping, and you said you'd like to go along. I know, I know, but I was younger then and more foolish. Well, I'm almost through George. So am I. Can I put these packages down for just a minute? You know, you really should give up late hours. I don't feel tired at all. There's an answer to that, but it would sever our friendship forever. Susan. Yes. I know it's merely because I'm a stupid male, but would you mind explaining this mad shopping spree in simple terms? I told you George, Emily is coming tomorrow, and the house is simply a wreck. I hadn't realized how I'd let it run down till I got Emily's wire. How old is this Emily, 10, 12, 13? Well, I really don't remember, but that isn't the point. I just couldn't let her see the house without fixing it up. She's never seen it before. Oh, that makes all the difference. So just because you're a third cousin who... I'm a second cousin once removed, I think. Well, pardon me, your second cousin once removed, whom you have never seen, suddenly decides to visit you. You have to dash through the stores of Hillsdale like Paul Revere using me as a truck horse. I think that's a mixed metaphor. I don't doubt it in the least. Look George, look! What happened? That cute little play suit in the window. Wouldn't it be wonderful for Emily? How do I know? I don't know if Emily is 20 pounds or 200, or if she has red hair and green eyes, or green hair and red eyes, neither do you. I think it would be a little foolish to think of buying her a play suit. Come on, George, pick up the packages. Pick up the packages. Well? Hurry up, George. You know, I'll never be able to understand why men don't like to shop. May I help you? That cute little play suit in the window, the blue? Certainly, madam. Here we are, right over here. Come on, George. For yourself? No, my cousin Emily. Would you put down the packages and hold it up to you, George, so I can get an idea about the color? Certainly, I'd be glad to. Here you are, sir. Thanks very much. Well, how's the color, right? Well, I... I don't know. Oh, I think it goes wonderfully with his eyes. Oh, you do? Of course, I would suggest a larger size, unless madam likes his things rather snug. For your information, Mac, this play suit is not for me. You wouldn't care to take it over to the mirror? Why, you... Please, George. Look, you with the carnation, this play suit is not for me, and I am not her cousin. Pick up the packages, George. We'd better get out of here. All right, Susan. I've already told you, my name is not Emily. Help me with the packages. All right, all right, here. Well, give me a woman shopper any day. Got anything for the composing room, Mr. Harvey? Business is at a complete standstill today, Sammy. Emily is coming to town. Who's Emily? A young thing of indeterminate summers, coming to visit Miss Armstrong, apparently a long-lost cousin. How old is she? Well, the estimates range from 10 to 14. Couldn't you arrange just a little less? Four years in woman may not mean much to you, but they sure do to me. Well, let's say 13 or 14. Women are always older than you think. You interested? Mr. Harvey, I'm only human. That is open to debate. I'm sure you have a playmate of your own age, Sammy. Exclusive contact with the adult world has embedded you. It's made me a realist. Same thing. What time does Emily arrive? Her train gets in at four this afternoon. And if you should just happen to wander by... I'll wear a pink iris so you'll know me. On second thought, why should I do a thing like this to sweet, unspoiled Emily? I'll be there, Mr. Harvey. But if she's only 10, I reserve the right to slink off unnoticed. Coward. Mr. Harvey, I have the feeling that Emily will be a definite surprise to all concerned. You may be right. And if I'm going to be surprised, I want to be free to move quickly in any direction. Sammy, were you ever really young? Well, here it is, George. Isn't it exciting? A cousin I've never seen before. What made her decide to come and see you, Susan? Well, I always say that on my Christmas cards to my relatives. Come and see me. Well, that's a dangerous practice. Oh, don't be cynical, George. I just wish I could remember if Emily is 10 or 14. Well, we'll soon find out. Do you see her, George? I don't see any little girl getting off you. No, maybe she missed the train. Oh, no, don't say that after I've looked forward to seeing her. Well, dear, what do you think could have happened, George? You don't see her, do you? No, only one girl got off and she definitely is not a little girl. Where? Oh, oh, yes, I see what you mean. Why don't you have cousins like that, Susan? I wonder where she could have gotten... Susan, Susan, Susan. George, that girl who just got off, that couldn't be little Emily. Ten years old, huh? Well, they're doing some wonderful things with vitamins these days. Oh, I just know your cousin Susan. I'd know you anywhere. Mother has a picture. I know you just think I'm terrible landing in on you like this, but I just didn't know what else to do. You understand, don't you? I just thought you'd be a... you are Emily. You thought I'd be younger. Nobody, just nobody accepts the fact that I've grown up. Nobody. I think I accept it. Oh, Emily, this is George Harvey, a reporter on the paper. Well, it's awfully nice to know you, Mr. Harvey. Isn't it? I mean, it's awfully nice to know you. Stop wagging your tail, George. Your parents, they're well, Emily. Oh, perfectly. Oh, but you mustn't write a phone to them because he might be watching the house or tapping the wires or something. He? Who? Earl. Earl Santee. He's a gangster. He's a very successful gangster and so handsome. He's even been on television. You mean you're a witness to something this gangster did? How awful. Oh, I just wish it was that simple. Really, I do. Then it would be just a sudden flame spreading out of the darkness. Perhaps my life flashing before my eyes for the final time. And then it would be over. That sounds pretty complicated to me. Oh, it's much worse, much worse. Well, it was just that at first he seemed glamorous. He's convertible and being on television. And I only saw him a couple of times and I never dreamed that he... Well, you know, chemistry. Chemistry? Well, suddenly he just ignited. I didn't do a thing. You're sure you didn't strike a match? He was like one gone mad. Swore that if he couldn't have me, no one else would. And made all kinds of threats and I was simply terrified and well... Here I am. How it must be wonderful to have someone strong and capable to turn to like Mr. Harvey. Emily, I want you to know that you can count on me. Well, that solves everything. Did you get here yet, Mr. Harvey? I got held up at the office and I... This is Emily? Sammy. Just what I always wanted. A playmate, my own age. Sammy, step aside with me, will you please? We are faced with a complex problem here, Sammy, to which you are not the answer. There's no time for play? Just continue to warm up on the sidelines about four or five years. I gotta wait four or five years? You know, I think it's worth it. Good morning, Miss Susan. Good morning, Patience. Is Emily up yet? Up. Ate a hearty breakfast. Told me she's considering several offers from Hollywood and is now in the front room reading true romantic confessions. Now Patience, does she seem worried? Oh, sure. She's simply frantic because her nail polish is chipping. Patience, suppose you were a gangster. Do you think that you would ignite at the sight of Emily? It's possible. Of course, I don't know what it takes to turn on a gangster's ignition. Maybe I'd better talk to her. Do. It's as good as a college education. Good morning, Emily. Oh, good morning, Captain Susan. Isn't this a simply devastating morning? Emily, I want to talk to you about this mad amour of yours. Oh, I think we definitely should. After all, the least we can do is be civilized about it. We're both adults. Yes. Now, actually, do you think it's really so serious? Definitely. I mean, the moment he looked at me yesterday, I could tell. You saw him yesterday? Of course. At the train when you met me. This Earl Santee was here in town yesterday? Earl? I'm talking about George. Give this to me slowly, Emily. You think that George is now your mad amour, is that it? What about Earl? Oh, Earl will undoubtedly kill him if he finds out. I might kill him myself. Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Susan, and I hope that George means nothing to you. But you know how it is. Chemistry. I majored in journalism myself. Oh, it was just a case of one look and he ignited it. Susan, where are you going? I'll see you later, Emily. I'm not going to fiddle around while George burns. Good morning, Susan. Well, how's little Cousin Emily this morning? Mouldering at home. He's quite a girl, Emily, quite a girl. I don't know when I've seen anyone who is so loaded with... with... Yes? Yes, sir, quite a girl. George, she had an idea that something electric flashed between you two yesterday at the station. Me and Emily? That's utterly absurd. It's ridiculous. I hope I'm convincing you. You are, only because I know you're not that fast a worker. You know the trouble with her, Susan. She's just in the romantic stage, that's all. And this story of hers about the gangster most likely isn't true at all. You really think so? Of course. She's living in a romantic daydream. Well, I'd rather think so myself, but... Susan, there's only one way to bring her out of it. Psychology. Not chemistry. No, psychology. So I've got a mad passion for her, have I? I'll just call her bluff. I'll be over tonight to lay my heart at her feet. And you watch. She'll be scared half silly. Well, that might be a short drift, George. Ah, the old psychology, Susan. Never fails. I know Emily's type. All talk, no follow through. You know, you two should make an ideal couple. Well, where's Emily, Susan? In the other room, ready and waiting. Want me to stand by with the fire extinguisher? Don't be silly. The old psychology, Susan. This won't take more than a minute. Neither just going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. Well, good luck, Valentina. Uh, Emily? Why, George, are you looking for Cousin Susan? No, Emily. I'm looking for you. Me? You. Come over here, Emily. But... yes, George. Now, we'll, uh, we'll sit on the love seat here. Isn't it a little crowded? I want you close to me. Oh. Emily, do you believe in passion ignited at a mere glance? What I mean is... is... Hmm. New perfume? No, it's some of Susan's. Maldemar. Oh. Funny, I... I never noticed it. I... Let's see. Where was I? Passion ignited at a glance. Oh, yes, yes. Emily, do you know that a mature person can suddenly find himself being swept out to sea by an emotional riptide, helpless in its blind fury? Well? And that a strong man can be destroyed just by a sidelong glance from a pair of... Hmm. Blue eyes? Are you sure you have enough room, George? Oh, plenty. I'm just twitching because my leg's going to sleep. Uh, where was I? Someone caught in a riptide. Right. You're right. Emily, I have come to say goodbye. I'm afraid that if we see each other just once again, I won't be responsible for what may happen. I think that yesterday we both knew that... Well, today it's all I can do to keep myself in check. Emily, it's bigger than both of us. Oh, yes, George, yes. Uh, what? Definitely. Absolutely. Positively bigger than both of us. Oh, isn't it simply terrifying? Oh, Emily, what... Caught in a riptide, you said, powerless to struggle. Oh, how positively true. But, Emily... Holding fast to each other will be swept out to sea together. Oh, Emily... Oh, we can't fight against it, George. We're caught in this mighty grasp. Uh, Susan... George, isn't it just too terribly wonderful? Susan! Susan, help! Show me a life preserver! And now back to our two stars, Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray, and the second act of our story. Fred, that is George, came a cropper in applying psychology to Irene's or Susan's romantic cousin. But if you think our hero is discouraged, you just don't know George. Good morning, Mr. Harvey. Hi, Sammy. How's the boy? Not bad. How's the famous psychologist? Who told you? And what did they tell you? I asked Miss Armstrong this morning how her cousin was, and she said you were using psychology on her. Oh, that's all? Sure. How did it turn out? Never use psychology on a woman, Sammy. It's wasted on them. Absolutely wasted. What should you use? Well, you can... as soon as I find out, I'll let you know. I don't think I can wait that long. Miss Armstrong wants to see you in her office. Uh, Emily isn't with her. No such luck. Good. Then I'll go in. Mr. Harvey, you know, your whole personality problem might be based on bad eyesight. So actually, Susan, I had the situation well in hand all the time, and if you hadn't interrupted when you did, I... Interrupted? If you hadn't yelled for help, you'd have been lost at sea. Susan, how old do you think that girl actually is? She says she's 18. Almost. Girls weren't like that when I was 18. George, I don't believe a word of that story about the gangster, that Earl Santee being madly in love with her. You mean you're coming around to my theory? I'm coming around in spite of your theory. I wired Emily's mother this morning and told her that Emily was here, a fugitive from a lovelorn gangster. Surely a figment of the girl's imagination. Romantic hallucination common at that age. Well, she probably doesn't even know this, Santee. Undoubtedly. But she's built up in her own mind this adventure story of his being wildly in love with her, pursuing her from town to town, which is all a little... Time's drum. We just got a call from police headquarters. Please, Sammy. As I was saying, Susan, this is undoubtedly all a... Earl Santee is in town. Sammy, I am talking. It's undoubtedly a figment of her imagination. She... What did you say, Sammy? He said the figment just got into town. Earl Santee? The cop's got a tip that he's gunning for someone. Oh, no. Are you sure, Sammy? Sure. He just registered an hour ago at the General Grand Hotel. George! We've got to do something. Well, if he's gunning for someone, why don't the police pick him up? Oh, you know, the cops, they say they gotta wait till he commits a crime. George! Now, don't worry, Susan. You'd better go home to Emily, keep her in the house, and I'll go and see this Santee. But he might kill you! Why? I didn't throw him over. George, do be careful. All right. I'll be all right. And Susan, Emily will be as safe as if she were in her own home. With Emily, I guess that's not saying much. Patient! Patient, are you here? For sure, Miss Susan. Anything wrong? Emily, is she here? Is she all right? Up in the guest room. I just came from there. Oh, thank goodness. Oh, the wire just came for you, Miss Susan. Here it is. Oh, good. Well? The bad news? No, not exactly. I think I'd better go up and see Cousin Emily. Right now. Come in. Why, Susan, I thought you were at the paper. I came home to protect you. Emily, Earl Santee is in town, gunning for you. Earl Santee? Oh, but he simply couldn't be. I mean... You shouldn't have ignited him with a careless glance, Emily. But I... Is that a telegram from Mother? It is. Maybe I'd better read it to you. Last year, Clark Gable wanted to drag Emily off with him to Hollywood, year before Olly Kahn beseeched her to fly with him to India, all according to Emily. She has never met Earl Santee. Please send her home at once. Incidentally, she is 16, not 18. Well, Emily? I'm practically 17. Do you realize that because of your fantasies, somebody might get hurt? George Harvey went down to call on this Earl Santee about you, and I just hope he doesn't say the wrong thing. But I didn't mean to do any harm to Cousin Susan, honestly. It was just that I didn't have any boy of my own age to go around with, and I simply couldn't admit it, so I... And I always did want to meet you. The lattery will get you nowhere. Oh, but I... All right, all right, Emily. You stay here, and I'll go after George. Oh, if anything's happened to him, I'll just die. I mean, considering the way he feels about me and all. Emily. Am I doing it again? Oh, I'm sorry, but hurry, please. Hi, Pocky. Any luck? I didn't find Gert yet. By me, that's luck. Look, Dr. Anthony, I didn't ask for opinions. There's Gert here in town. I don't know yet, Earl. She was here. With a guy. A guy, huh? That's what I thought. She tosses me for a guy. How do you like that? If it was me she tossed, I'd like it. What's the guy? What's he do? Sells vacuum cleaners, I think. How do you like that? Tosses Earl Santee, public enemy number 34, for a vacuum cleaner. This could give me a complex. I think you've got one. Why don't we just train out of here for Chicago, Earl? First, I gotta plug this guy. Why, for Gert? Well, she's strictly expendable. Not for her, Pocky, for my reputation. Suppose I get a classy girl. Everybody'd be taking her away from me. Well, you got a point, of course. But with the cops watching you like they are, the minute you move out of this hotel room... Who is that? How do I know? Okay, okay. Who is it? George Harvey. Who is George Harvey? Who knows? Come in. Earl Santee? Sure. Come in, come in. Thank you. Now, what can we do for you, George Harvey? Santee, I'm going to lay my cards right on the table. Hear that, Pocky? He coins frisers. A man of taste and culture. Santee, I happen to know why you're here in town. That's interesting. How did you find out? The police know. And on top of that, she told me. She told you? Hear that, Pocky? Now, wait, Earl. You wouldn't be the guy I got tossed over for. As a matter of fact, she broke with you before she even met me. Wow, that's something. So, how she feels about me doesn't concern you in the slightest. Pocky, is he brave or just stupid? I'd say half and half. So, what do you think I should do, George Harvey? Well, if I were you, I'd get out of town fast. I don't think that's bad advice. Should I take her with me? Over my dead body. You know, this guy makes a great straight man. Not here, Earl. Why not? The hotelit charges for the wrong. It's deductible entertainment. You wouldn't settle for just breaking his arm? Sure. And the next time the ratings come out, I'm public enemy number 36. Now, I gotta shoot him. I guess you fellas think you got me worried. Well, if you're not, you should be. Maybe you think I'm going to plead with you. What kind of a life is it selling vacuum cleaners? You're better off. Who sells vacuum cleaners? No business is bad. This way you got nobody to support, not even yourself. I think you're making a mistake. That's what I keep telling them. With that dame, you both made the same mistake. Gentlemen, don't discuss these things, Porky. All right, stand still, George. But... Don't shoot him. Susan. Shoot him and you'll have to shoot me too. This guy don't look like much, Earl, but he's dynamite with the dames. Why shouldn't I plug him, lady? You know what he did? Who knows better than I? I'm his wife. You should be ashamed of yourself, George Harvey. And if this philanderer thinks he's going to take the easy way out with five mouths at home to feed... Oh, you'd just love to get shot, wouldn't you? You... you chaser. Makes me ashamed to be a male. But Susan... I've heard enough out of you, George Harvey. You're coming home with me. And if ever I let you out of my sight again... Oh, Santee, Porky, is it all right? I go? Take him away, lady. He's all yours. Criminal that he is, I feel a little sorry for him. Well, so long, fellas. Susan. I was listening at the door, George. It was the best way I could think of to get you out. You know, they must have been talking about some other girl. No. But I guess if you tried to explain that to them... It would have been difficult. Was it so awful, George, being married? Just for a minute? Awful? No, not at all. Just so long as I knew it wasn't permanent. What I mean is I... I should have let him shoot you. Our stars Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray will return in just a moment. Well, there goes Emily. There goes Emily. A very interesting person. There I agree. One of those rare cases where the body matures before the mire. What makes you think it's so rare? Susan, when you were playing the part of my domineering wife... I almost had the feeling you were enjoying the role. Why, George? I detect a certain harshness in your character. It's not like you. You know I'm your humble slave, don't you? Well, kiss me, slave. There. Convinced that I'm the Hoffman feminine? I was convinced all along. I'm not quite as stupid as I look. Sometimes, George, you surprise me. Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray will be back next week in another exciting comedy adventure in the game new series, Bright Star. This is Wendell Niles inviting you to join us then. You
