Here's Dick Powell, transcribed as Richard Diamond, private detective. My name's Diamond, and like a lot of working people, at five o'clock in the afternoon, I get pretty anxious for six o'clock to roll around, especially if I haven't had a client for the last three days. But even if I don't expect anyone to drop in before six, I can't take a chance, so I stare out of my office window on 53rd Street just to kill time. I see the night starting to muscle in on the Broadway bright lights, and I wonder just how many prospective clients are out in the city. Who's getting in trouble? What kind of trouble? And will they come to Richard Diamond for guidance? Now, take the two hard-looking thugs in the downtown hotel room as they watch a pretty blonde hurriedly get into a flashy mink coat. They're gonna need plenty of guidance. Where you going, Dottie? I got an appointment. Don't you think you ought to stick around just in case the contact comes in? If it ain't here by now, it won't be in till tomorrow. Now, stop looking like a couple of anxious bloodhounds. Relax. Sure, Dottie, sure. But you really cannot blame us for being a little disquieted. Don't she look classy, Al? Hey, who you gonna roll tonight, doll face? Your grandmother. Ain't she out of Alcatraz yet? Hey, I don't like no cracks about my family. What are you gonna do, Stan? People stop by the zoo every day. They're not pleased. No ligamiki. Yeah, no lig... Yeah. You keep running off at the mouth like that baby, you'll be spitting out all your teeth. Yeah, well, when you kick off, Stan, don't try to sell your body to science. I'll never get both heads in that bottle. Well, you... Please. I'm gonna hit... Please. Please. Leave us, Dottie. And Stanley, you shut your big mouth before I shove my foot in it. Go on, Dottie. I think you had better make a hurried percolation. What? Beat it. Al, why didn't you let me mess her up a little? She's always acting like she's got a family background. I do not know whether her family had anything to do with it, but it is a very nice background to gaze at. Now, shut your ugly face and let us start tailing her. Tailing her? What for? I think she is up to something. Yeah, well, sure she is, but I don't want to get booked as a peep and tom. Stan, you are a melon head. I think she is going to try a cross. Florida has not... never been late with the numbers before. You think she's going to pick up the bundle and skip? No. I just want to see what she does with her evenings. Oh, well, I can tell you that. Stanley, please. You arouse my irascibility. Oh, I'm sorry, Aloysius. Paper. Evening paper. Paper. Evening, Glenda. Oh, hello, Horace. Times. You look tired. Hard day at the office? I stayed home. My wife's swell. Here's the times. Thanks. Good night, Glenda. Good night. Papers. Evening papers. Have you got a light addition? By yes, right here, dearie. You got it? Yeah, in the purse. Put it down on the counter and look through the paper. Okay. Paper. Evening paper. What do you want me to do with the purse? Keep it till I meet you at the train. Sure, honey. It's good to be working again, ain't it, Dottie? I gotta go. They usually got a tail on me. I'll see you tomorrow morning. Relax. We're in the chips. Paper. Evening paper. Paper, sir? No, but I will take that purse. Purse? Oh, why, that nice young lady must have left it on the counter when she looked at the paper. Please, just extend your age and index and shove it over here. Why, I can't do that. He belongs to that young lady. Oh, look, it would make me very unhappy to have to shove all those nice old wrinkles around, but I am in need to possess one patent letter handbag. Now, if you will kindly move it in my approximate latitude, you'll bat we can dispense with all the... Why, you poor excuse for a lowbrow gunniff. Matter. For two cents, I'd wrap a lead sapper across your flat head. Well, hello, Glenda. Hello. How's the house business? Oh, Officer Quine. Aren't you on a little late? Yes, I've been changing the six o'clock beat. Well, good evening, sir. Yeah, lovely. Good evening, Officer. Say, haven't I seen you somewhere before? Hardly. I reside in Flatbush. Well, thank you, Mother. I do not see anything I want. Goodbye. He doesn't see anything he wants. What does he think you're running, Glenda? A drug store there? Hey, Al, I saw a cop. I am proud of you, Stanley. Now, let us hurry around this corner. You think that and the old Dame are cooking up something together? Stop here so we can watch the old Dame. Stanley, to put it in your words, yeah, I think they are cooking up something. Oh, you figure she slipped the old girl the numbers? Your perception astounds even my astute... Hey, obscene. Oh, yeah. Your grandma is taking off and leaving the cop behind to watch the papers. Yeah, she's going in that building. She has got the place. Stanley, stay here and await my return. Okay, but my feet are beginning to hurt. Go in the drug store, purchase some Blue Jays. I shall be right back with the place. Mr. Diamond. Well, hello, Glenda. Come in, pull up a rocking chair. Well, that's the way it begins. Sometimes when you wait around until the last minute, you get a customer. I wasn't too happy about this one because I knew she didn't have enough money to hire a tramp to spot cigarette butts. I haven't got much time. I've got Officer Quine watching my paper stand. Officer Quine? You should be happy you aren't selling fruit. He's already got his thumb print and hairy apple and yonkers. Mr. Diamond, I found this purse. Found it, Glenda? Oh, you know me, Mr. Diamond. I'm going straight now. I remember a snake that said that once. He broke his back. Honest, I haven't been doing that kind of business since I got out. Well, what can I do for you, Glenda? I'm broke. Oh, it's not a touch. I want you to find the owner of this purse and return it. Why don't you give it to Officer Quine? Well, there's no money in it. And with my record, he'd sure run me in for purse snatching. No money, huh? Oh, no. No, I didn't touch a thing. Just took a peek, maybe. Oh, yes. The young girl left it on my counter. If you find her, you can ask her. I didn't touch a thing. Okay, I'll see what I can do. Oh, thank you, Mr. Diamond. Goodbye. Keep your nose clean. Oh, I will. She'd keep her nose clean all right in a glass of gin. I'd known old Glenda ever since she started working bunko rackets and got put away for two to five. I was sure she'd lifted the door from the purse, but I opened it and went through it anyway. I was just kicking myself for telling her I'd try to dig up its owner when the door opened and an ugly looking mug wearing alligator spats walked up to my desk. You should be ashamed looking at someone else's purse. It's a bad habit, like not knocking on doors. Oh, it said on the door to come in. How long did you have to wait before someone came by to read it to you? May I please have the purse? Oh, is it yours? Yes. Well, I didn't notice the wedges. Give up high heels. You are a very poor comic. Now, may I have the purse or must I make you bleed? Oh, oh, it's like that. Well, sure, here it is. Thank you. And something to go with it. I caught him with one that made my arm feel good clear up to my shoulder. His eyes rolled back and he went down faster than the celluloid collar on the flagpole. I looked at the black purse and started getting that lousy feeling again. I'd gotten into something and it was beginning to smell already. So I called the 5th Precinct Police Station and an old friend, Lieutenant Levinson. Hello, Otis. Let me talk to the lieutenant. No, it's platoon number three of the Brownies, 300 strong. Now, let me talk to the lieutenant. Give him away to idiots. You want to start a collection? Hello, Walt Diamond. Oh, wait a minute. Otis, Otis, where'd you put the bicarbonate? Oh, hold on a minute, Rick. Give me some water, Otis. Go ahead, Rick. I can stand it for a second. If you didn't get so excited, you wouldn't have to take that stuff. Never need this stuff until you call. Now, who's dead? Nobody, but there's a guy in my office lying on the floor. He's dead. He's got to be. No, he isn't, Walt. I just belted him in the mouth when he tried to get rough. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. He's trying to wake up. Grown for the nice policeman. You hear him, Walt? Okay, so some guy got tired and went to sleep on your floor. What do you want me for? Hold it a second, Walt. He's getting a little too active. What did you do? Kissed him good night. What did you do that for? Well, I've seen him somewhere. I think he's wanted. Oh, well, hang on to him. I'll send the wagon down. The door will be open. I'll fix it so he doesn't get away. Wait a minute, Rick. Where are you going? Well, about five minutes ago, an old name hands me a black patent leather purse and asks me to find the owner. Right afterwards, this cultured gorilla wanders in and says the purse belongs to him. What's in it? Nothing much. A compact, book of matches, and a handkerchief. Smells nice. No money? No. Oh, I got to stop by Helen Ashes for a minute, and then I'm going to find out what makes this purse so valuable. Say hello to Helen for me. Sure thing. Bye, Walton. Be a good boy. Yeah, bye. I got a rope out of my desk that I hung my socks on when I had time to wash them and tied the sleeping gonif to a chair. I didn't know much about pocketbooks, but I knew someone who did, so I headed for 975 Park Avenue and a beautiful redhead named Helen Asher. Oh, good evening, Mr. Diamond. Good evening, Frances. Is Miss Asher in? Yes, sir. She's in the study. Shall I announce you? No, just dig up something that'll get me back on my feet. I'll let myself in. Yes, sir. Mr. Diamond. Yes, Frances? If you'll pardon me for saying so, sir, I just love the way you talk. Well, thank you, Frances. Eaton, 98. Major in Sloid. Oh, my goodness, you're pulling my leg again. Anyone home? Rick, you got here. Hi. Hi. Well, since when did you start carrying a purse? Like it? Matches my complexion. You idiot. Take a look. Whose is it? Got to find out. It's worth something. One guy already tried to get it the hard way. Cigarette? Oh, thanks. It's got some initials on it. D.K. There's nothing valuable in it. I know. That's what I can't understand. Got a match? Here's some in the purse. Thanks. Here. Adams Hotel. Flophouse with sheets. Compact. It's never been used. My darling. Well, thanks. The perfume and the handkerchief, silly. It's my darling. Oh, don't look so hurt. So are you. Well, come here. Rick. Here's your drink, Mr. Diamond. Oh, my goodness. That's all right, Frances. I was just trying to convince your boss we should take in the wrestling matches. My Frances, you're blushing. Oh, pardon me. Mrs. Ash's residence. Yes, sir. One moment, sir. It's for you, Mr. Diamond. Oh, thank you, Frances. I'll see if the dinner is ready, Miss Helen. Hello. You get right down here. What? Lieutenant Levinson. Get down here to the station, Diamond. You're in trouble. Diamond? Wait a minute. Slow down. Not dead, huh? My stomach starts getting back to normal and you have to knock some guy off. Knock some guy off? I don't know why I should waste time with explanations. I ought to just send out a service with a wagon, but I like your girlfriend too much. What are you babbling about? I thought you said the guy in your office was still kicking. What? Yeah, somebody made a punch board out of his chest and I like you for a suspect. I'll get down here. Wait a minute, Walt. Somebody shot him? Yeah. If that wasn't what killed him, he died of fright when he saw the bullets coming. I'm not talking anymore until you get here. Make it 10 minutes or I'll have a warrant out for you. Oh, swell. Rick, what's the matter? Oh, that crazy Walt Levinson's got me in line for a murder rap. I got to go down and square myself. Murder? Rick? Yeah. I'll see you later, baby. But Rick? I can't wait. I'll get back as soon as I can. If we were married, this wouldn't happen. Rick, you forgot the purse. Francis. Francis. Yes, Miss Asher? Francis, Mr. Diamond forgot this purse. See if you can catch him. He's gone to Lieutenant Levinson's police station. Yes, Miss Asher. Do my best. Rick just has got to stop this foolishness. Oh, how did you get in here? Who are you? I come in a back way, lady. Where's the shaman? You get out of here. No, just relax, baby. One yell out of you and you get hurt pretty bad. What? Where's the shaman? He went down to the police station. Okay. Where's the purse? I saw him bring it in. I don't know. Oh, come on, baby. Or do I shake it out of you? You stay away from me. You hood. Hood? Where's the purse? I told you I don't know. Stay away. Okay, but you're making it tough on yourself. Stay away. You stay away from me. Pardon me, sir. Yes, madam. I believe you have my purse. I beg your pardon, but this purse is the property of Mr. Diamond, private detective. Yes, I know. I gave it to him to hold for me. Well, I'm very sorry, madam, but you'll have to claim it from Mr. Diamond himself. Oh, yeah? Help! Police! Messier! Help! This man is trying to steal my purse. Madam, let go of my coat. This guy giving you trouble, mother? He's trying to steal my purse. Help! Oh, yes, huh? Looks just the type. This will learn you, Romeo. Oh, man. You're gonna know, lady, will you? Come on, get up and fight it. Hey, lady! Lady! How do you like that? Didn't even say thanks. Now, look, Rick, I don't care what you say. You told me you had a guy in your office. When my men got there, they found him tied in the chair with three bullet holes in his chest. He was making noises when I left. Some guys do that when they get shot. Oh, stop being an idiot. You know I didn't kill him. Yeah, I know it, but what do I tell the commissioner? That I let you go because you're a friend of mine? You used to be on the force? No, but you don't have to act like I rubbed out the whole west side. Well, I'm mad. I want to retire in five years and I want to do it with a healthy stomach. Yeah? Lieutenant, Murphy's got some guy out here he picked up for purse snatching. Says he's a friend of Diamond's and wants to see him. Send him in. This can't get any screwer than it is already. I got a purse snatcher who says he knows you. Purse snatcher? Francis. Yes, Mr. Diamond. I don't feel so well. That's all, Otis. Isn't he your girlfriend's butler? Yeah. What happened, Francis? Well, sir, I was bringing that purse down to you. That's right. I left it at Helen's. Yes, sir. Well, a little old lady approached me on the street and claimed it belonged to her. What did she look like? She had white hair and she was wearing an old shawl. I think she'd been drinking gin, sir. Cheap gin. Glenda. Glenda Bergen. Is she the one who gave you the purse? Yeah. Then what happened, Francis? When I wouldn't give her the purse, she started yelling and called me a masher. And some enormous gentleman arrived and clouted me in the jaw. It was disgusting, sir. And the old lady got the purse? Yes, sir. She ran off and the enormous gentleman sat on my chest until an officer came and carted me off to this place. Was Miss Helen all right when you left her? Why, yes, sir. You don't think? I don't know. But if they knew I had the purse and spotted me going into Helen's... Here, Rick, use this phone. Thanks. Don't you see, Walt, this whole thing has something to do with that purse. Purse, murse. I've still got a stiff on my hands. Oh, my goodness. Please. Yes. Hello, honey. You all right? Oh. What's the matter? Hi. Please come home. What happened? A man broke into the house looking for that old purse. I told him I didn't know where it was and he started slapping me. He did, huh? Yes. And I need comforting. Well, honey, I've still got something to do. Lock all the doors until Francis gets back and I'll be over as soon as I can. All right. Did you get the purse? Francis will tell you all about it. Bye, baby. Bye. Rick. Some blouse shoved Helen around. Francis, get over there and take care of her. It's all right if he goes, isn't it, Walt? I guess so. Otis, I'm releasing the guy that was picked up for purse snatching. And don't say, yeah, Lieutenant. Okay, Rick. Oh, thank you, sir. Step on it, Francis. Miss Asher needs someone to take care of her. Yes, sir. Walt, give me two hours to find out what this is all about. Are you going after Glenda? Yeah. She's tied up with this killing. I'd better send some of the boys along. Give me two hours alone. I want to find the guy who shoved Helen around. Okay, Rick. Two hours and I put in a general alarm for you and the old dame. You know where she lives? I got a shack over near the East River. Thanks, Walt. Otis, let Diamond go and bring me a tablespoon and some water. And Otis, shut up! I grabbed a cap and 20 minutes later I was standing at the edge of the East River. The fog was rolling in and pretty soon it had become a thing you could put it in bales. Below me, next to the water, was a line of weather-beaten shacks and one of them belonged to old Glenda. You want something, Mac? Huh? Oh, I didn't see you. Does old Glenda live in one of those shacks? Yeah, that one. Got a match? Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm going to get it. No, wait a minute. Huh? Let me see those matches. Hmm, I've forgotten all about them. What's the matter? You collect them or something? These I do. Sorry, pal. You'll have to get some others. Okay, Sporty. The inside of the shack looked like a hardware store after a good earthquake. Someone had torn it to pieces. It was a very old shack. It was a very old shack. It looked like a hardware store after a good earthquake. Someone had torn it to pieces. An old Glenda had gotten the same treatment. She was lying on the wooden floor staring up at me. She couldn't close her eyes because the rope around her neck was squeezing them open. Is she dead? Huh? I followed you down. Well, hooray for you. The next time you sneak up on somebody, you're liable to end up with a skull fracture. Just wanted to see what was going on. Is she dead? Unless she can breathe through her feet, she's been strangled. Gonna call the cops? No, no. I thought I'd rub her wrists for a while. Now, here's a buck. Call Lieutenant Levinson at the 5th precinct and tell him what's happened. Sure. Got a nickel? Yeah, here. And tell him I've gone over to the Adams Hotel on 28th Street. My name's Diamond. Good for you. Now step on it. He left in a hurry and I reached in my pocket and took another look at the book of matches I'd gotten from the black handbag. They were from the Adams Hotel on 28th Street, so I went over there fast. The sleepy night clerk showed me the register and I found what I was looking for. I remembered the initials on the handbag were D.K. A Dorothy King was registered in room 306. I went upstairs. Yeah? I got a message for you. Slip it under the door. I'm not that skinny. What is it? It's from Glenda. Oh, wait a minute. All right, the door's open. All right, now shut it and come on in. Huh? Oh, what a lovely gun. Glad you like it. Now what do you want? I just left Glenda. She's dead. What? Yeah, strangled. How'd you find me? Matches in your purse. They were from this hotel. I checked the initials on the bag with the register. D.K., Dorothy King, room 306. Holmes would call it elementary. You must be the Charmous Glenda gave the bag to earlier this evening. That's right. How did you know? Well, she called me. She tell you she got it back? I feel a quiet streak coming on. I usually like women who don't talk much, but right now you'd better start talking as fast as you can. Funny thing, this gun I got makes me lazy. Now get out of here. Baby, baby, I got a big fat surprise for you. Yeah? Yeah. My gun makes bigger holes than yours. Huh? What do you think I'm doing with my right hand? Keeping it warm? Oh, don't give me that. You ain't got nothing but a big finger in that pocket. Oh! Surprise. Next time I make it count. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Sure. Drop it. Now that's better. Kick it over here. All right. Please. I didn't kill Glenda. Where's the purse? I ain't got it on us. Well, who has? Now look, baby, I'm in a bad mood. Honest, I don't know. That's right. She don't, mister. Stan! Well, you certainly know some pretty ugly company, Donnie. I don't know if I like that. You don't? Maybe I can word it a little different. Stan, he's a private cop. He came up here and tried to shove me around. Well, you should have done it, Chalmers. It would have saved me the trouble. What do you mean, huh? Well, you're no good cheap double-crosser. Al and me saw you slip the bag to that old dame, and Al got killed trying to get it from the Chalmers. I didn't kill Al! No, the old dame did it. I went up to the office and found him dying. He told me she'd done it. What are you going to do? Well, the organization don't like being crossed. I got the purse from the old dame and paid her off for killing poor old Al. Now I got to pay you off. I got a surprise for you too, Stanley. Yeah, you try anything, you'll have more holes on you than a fishnet. He's got a gun in his pocket. Well, look at his pocket, wise guy! Oh, gee, I wish Al was here. He'd know what to do. Go on, shoot him. Shoot him. Stan's got it coming. Looks like it's a tie. No sense in both of us getting killed. Yeah, yeah, you plug me, and I'll nail you before you get shot. You plug me, and I'll nail you before I go to... Don't listen to him! I think he's got a point. What are you going to do? That's up to him. As Al would say, a hurry departure is in order. I'll take care of you later, Doc. Goodbye, all. It's pretty good. Al would like that. Don't let him get away. Stop him. You stop him. All right, baby. Where is he going with that purse? If I tell you, will you give me a chance to get out of town? I can't do anything about that. When I leave, you're on your own. Technically, you haven't done anything in the locker to hold you for. I haven't? No. But that won't stop me from pushing you around. Now, let's have the story. If Stan hasn't been there already, he's headed for a locker in the subway station at 34th Street. What's in the locker? $100,000 in counterfeit bills. Oh. Oh, baby. Counterfeit. You have been naughty. Now, Papa, we'll have to keep you on ice for the cops. Get in the closet. Please give me a break. Sorry, honey. Get in. Oh, you're hurting me. Please. I went down to the night clerk and told him to tell Lieutenant Levenson when he got there about the blonde in the closet of room 306. The subway wasn't far, but Stanley had a head start and he was in a hurry. I ran the rest of the way. I went down the steps. A train was just pulling out when I spotted him. He'd just taken a bundle out of one of the lockers. And as he turned to go, I walked up behind him. Hello, Stanley. What? What you got in the box? The shawmish. Here, you take it. Oh. He tossed the package in my face and started running for the exit. But a crowd of people blocked his way, and when he saw me come up with my gun, he changed his mind. He turned and vaulted the turnstile, and I ducked behind the row of lockers. He had a gun, too. I tried to get a clear shot at him, but there were too many people. And then the frightened little guy did a stupid thing. He jumped down on the tracks and started running up the tunnel. Oh, look at that fool man. He's jumped down on the tracks. Stanley, come back here. You can't get anywhere that way. You sit in, Mac. He's running uptown on the downtown side. Here's a corny line. Stop or I'll shoot. You won't get me, Stan. Look out. There's a train coming. Look out. Oh, Mr. Diamond, come in. Hello, Francis. Is Miss Asher all right? She's better, sir. She's lying down in the study. How's the jaw? Oh, I feel better, sir. This ice bag is helping the swelling. I'll be in the pantry if you need me, sir. I'll try not to. Hi. Hi. Well, poor little baby. Yes, poor little baby. You're lucky he didn't knock you out. Oh, I'll get it. Francis is nursing his face. Asher residence? Let me talk to Diamond if he's there. He is? Rick? Now you listen to me. I've been chasing your conquests all over town. I end up down in the subway station and notice get stuck in the turnstile. Don't you think it'd be nice to let the police department in on something once in a while? Oh, sure, sure. Right now I'm at 975 Park Avenue nursing a beautiful redhead back to health. Oh, did you find the blonde in the closet? Yeah, I got the whole story from her. You want to hear it? I guessed most of it. She was fencing for a counterfeit ring and she tried to cross them. The key to the locker was in that purse. Yeah, in the compact under the pancake makeup. She and old Glenda used to do a duet together before they both got sent up. When the blonde got out, she started working for a counterfeit mob. They'd stashed the dough in different subway lockers around town and used her to make the contacts. So she figured she could use the 100,000. Well, nothing like being in business for yourself. She was afraid to pick it up herself, so she stepped the purse to Glenda like she'd just forgotten it. Ricky. Yes, dear? Are you listening to me? I just stopped. Bye, Walt. What? Now wait a... What is it, baby? I want some sympathy. Sure, sure. What would you like, lover? Sing something. Oh, come on, baby. We can do without that. No, I want you to. I'm sick and the invloid should be pampered. Let me rub your head or something. Afterwards. I want you to sing. But it's late, baby. Well, then sing softly. Sing me to sleep. Oh, honey. Get mad and you'll have to buy me a present. Ah, okay. Lullaby and good night with roses bedight That's wonderful. With lilies bedight Hey, you at the board near council! Shut up and try to sleep! Well, what is that? Oh, it's that grouchy new neighbor. Oh, it is, huh? Mm-hmm. Hey, you want something, bud? Yeah, shut your big basso! Oh, is that right? Out of your face away in sunshine Put on a great big smile Make up your eyes with laughter Geez, Rick! Yeah, okay. That guy gets shell-shocked if he fried potatoes. Rick. What is it, baby? Come here. Oh. You do need pampering. You have just heard Richard Diamond, private detective starring Dick Powell. Helen was played by Virginia Gregg, Lieutenant Levinson by Ed Begley. Also in our cast were Wilms Herbert, Betty Lou Gerson, Jane Morgan, Jack Crouchon, Hi, Avobac, Herb Butterfield, and Wally Mayer. Music was under the direction of David Baskerville. Richard Diamond is written by Blake Edwards and directed by William P. Russo. Now, this is Eddie King inviting you to be with us again at the same time next week when we will again bring you Dick Powell as Richard Diamond, private detective. This program has come to you transcribed from Hollywood. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.
