A fiery horse with the speed of light A cloud of dust and a hearty High old silver The Lone Ranger With his faithful Indian companion Tonto, the Masked Rider of the Plains, led the fight for law and order in the early western United States. The stories of his strength and courage, his daring and resourcefulness, have come down to us through the generations. And nowhere in the pages of history can one find a greater champion of justice. Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear. From out of the past in the thundering hoop beats of the great horse Silver, The Lone Ranger rides again! Come on, Silver! Let's go, big fellow! I am Silver! The boys in the bunkhouse at the Box D Ranch have been talking about famous fighting men of the frontier. And then when Wendy Still got started, everyone else gave up. Wendy was a tall, slim cowboy, perhaps 35 years of age. And the boys would admit grudgingly a rather handsome fellow. But as Wendy Still paced back and forth along the bunkhouse floor, The boys exchanged sly winks among one another. I want to tell you, gents, right here and now, That he was the only man, the absolute one and only, who could ever match Wendy Still on the draw. If you was to tell us about some fellow that cheated you on running off the mouth, We wouldn't believe that either. Why, Skeeter, are you meaning to insinuate I was stretching the, um, facts? Shucks, no, Wendy. I wasn't incinerating. I was just telling. Now, boys, boys, I ask you, Is that any way to look upon your old saddle partner? Do you think for one minute I'd be standing here looking at you homely buzzards right in the teeth and lying to you? Yeah! Oh, well, and I guess you don't want to hear my story. Oh, go on, tell it, Wendy. Oh, thanks, Tommy. I'm sure he's going to tell it anyway, and we might as well listen to it. Personally, though, I don't believe a word of it. Well, you ain't even heard it yet. And what's more, I don't believe there is such a gem as a Lone Ranger. Oh, yes, indeed. Oh, wait a minute. Yes, indeed. Wait a minute, you fellas. There's some of you that's been more than five miles away from home, I reckon. And you fellas know there's a Lone Ranger, don't you? Yeah, I know. Yeah, and the rest of you, them that ain't hardly dry behind the ears yet. You think there ain't no such fella as the Lone Ranger, huh? That's right. Oh, we don't believe there was such a train robbery as you mentioned. And we don't believe that you and this Lone Ranger fella broke it up. And we don't believe that... Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute, Skeety. I happen to be a mite older than you. Sure, Tommy. Now, there was such a train robbery as Wendy told about. It was, let's see, it was about four or five years back. A Union Pacific passenger train. And the holdup took place at, um, let me think now. It was just west of Fort Benner. That's right. You're right about that part of it, Wendy. Well, the way it happened, I was a deputy United States Marshal at the time, and I... I just happened to be riding the train to... Skeeter, throw a chunk of wood in the stove, will you? Yeah, sure, Wendy. Go ahead with your tail. Well, anyway, I was on the train, and though I didn't know it at the time, so was the president of the Union Pacific. And you know, you know who else was on that train? No. Well, sir, the most beautiful young woman I ever laid eyes on in my life. And today, that same young lady is known the world over as... Well, I suppose you saved your life, huh, Wendy? And then she fell in love with you and begged you to marry her. And you said no, huh? Well, no, no, not exactly, Skeeter. But you're partly right. That train used to stop regular about ten miles west of Fort Benner to take on a load of wood. What was that beautiful young lady's name, Wendy? Well, her real name was Clementine Brown. Clementine Brown. Yeah, but she was better known as Molly Mayfair. Molly Mayfair. Yep, yep, Molly Mayfair. And I reckon even you ignorant cusses have heard about her. Well, the train was stopping to take on fuel, like I said. And, like I said, I was just riding there in the coach. When all of a sudden, the door busts open, and these four fellas come into the car. All right, you folks, this is a stick-up. Don't nobody make a move, or it'll be your lad. Red, you keep that other door covered. Pete, you and Rance, start collecting. No, don't, please. Don't take my purse, please. Get your hands off that girl, you mangy buzzard. Look out, Pete! Why, you... Oh! Rance, Red, get that Jasper. Get him! Come on, fellas, this way. There's another one wearing a mask. And an engine. Take it, you buzzard. Hey, what the... That mask man, him and the engine are fighting the train robbers. Let him have it, big fella. Rance, please, come on, let's get out of here. No, you don't, mister. You wanted to get on this train, and you're going to stay on... Oh! Keep coming, aren't lost. When you get off train, you go to jail. Shut it out, I'm hurt. I quit. Go down your guns when you've had enough. That's enough, you win. All right, Marshal. You can gather up their guns now. Oh, go on, mister. I don't know who you are, but you sure got here just in time. We found out in Fort Bentner that these men were planning to rob this train when it stopped for fuel. They made it our business to be here when they tried it. Come on, Toto. Oh, but hey, wait a minute. You'd better have some of these men help you take care of your prisoners, Marshal. Huh? Oh. Oh, sure, yeah. But now, who do you suppose he was? It was Countdown Silver! What? Hey, do you folks hear that? Yeah. You all heard the masked man call that Indian Tonto, didn't you? Yeah. And did you hear him just now? Did you hear him yell, hi, yo, Silver? Well, that man was a lone ranger. That's true. Go on, Wendy. You ought to go on the stage. You're that kind of a good storyteller. Go on the stage, huh? Well, now, let me tell you about the time I did go on the stage. Oh, here it is. Yeah, and it was all on account of what happened when me and the lone ranger broke up that train robbery. Oh, I bet if one of us was to mention a million dollars, you'd want to tell us about the time you had a million. Ha! Oh, now, Tommy. But say, you know who else was on that train that I forgot to mention? No. You mentioned a million dollars. It just reminded me. Who was it? Diamond Jim Barton, that's who. And say you ought to see the way that fella could do. Oh, holy mackerel, Wendy. Why don't you cut it out? You expect us to believe all that baloney? President of the railroad. Molly Mayfair, the lone ranger. Diamond Jim Barton. Fellas. Fellas, someday you're going to be mighty sorry for doubting my word. Someday. Maybe next time we make a trail drive into Kansas City. I'll go to my strong box in the bank there. And show you the check that was given to me by the president of the Union Pacific. Sure. And the pass he'd give me to ride in this railroad for nothing. Well, sure. You just can stand more of this wind jamming, but I can't. I'm going to turn in. Now, wait a minute, Skeeter. Might as well hear the rest. Go on, Wendy. Well, there was quite a hullabaloo when that train pulled in the Cheyenne. And after I got them prisoners in jail, we all had a big party. Me and the president and Miss Mayfair and Diamond Jim Barton. We had a big dinner. And that fella from the railroad said to me, You've done the Union Pacific a great service, and I want to reward you. Oh, I was just doing my job. Anyway, if it hadn't been for the Lone Ranger... Well, someday, perhaps, I can reward him, too. But right now, I'm going to offer you a job with the Union Pacific for life. You'd better take that offer still. The Union Pacific is going to be a big outfit one of these days. Well, I reckon you're right, Mr. Barton, but I don't feel like getting tied down to no steady job. You're making a big mistake. Don't you think so, Miss Mayfair? You know, I'm just as grateful to Mr. Still as you are. And so am I. They wouldn't have gotten as much from me as from you, Mr. Barton, but I was carrying nearly $1,000 in cash, every cent I have in the world. I tell you what, Still, if you won't take the job with us, I'm going to give you a check on the Union Pacific for $5,000. $5,000? Yes, and a pass to write in the UP anytime, anywhere, as long as you live. Well, I'll be doggone. And Mr. Still. Uh, yeah, Miss Mayfair? I'm going to be at the Opera House in Omaha for the next two weeks. If you should happen to be in Omaha, I'd love to have you come to the theater as my guest. Well, gee willikers. I mean, well, that's just exactly where I was heading for. Omaha. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Oh, that's what I call a mighty strange coincidence. I was going to turn in. But doggone my eye, Wendy, I'm going to hear the rest of this yarn if I have to sit up all night. Well, there ain't much more to tell, gents. I, uh, went on into Omaha and seen Miss Mayfair, and she, uh, she... Throw another hunk of wood in the stove, will you, Skeeter? Yeah, sure. Uh, what was you saying? Uh, she what? She was mighty nice, fellas. Mighty awful nice. Uh, was that where you went on the stage and started play acting? Yeah. Yeah, that was the place. Well, I'm going to turn in and get some shut-eye. See you, gents, manana. Well, hey, what the... Start out with a story and just get up to the interesting part and then quit. Oh, come on, finish it, Wendy. Even if we don't believe a word of it, you ought to finish it. Oh, some other time, amigos. Some other time. Hey, some writers coming. Yeah. Wonder who'd it be this time of night. Well, whoever it is. Holy mackerel, a mask man. What's your business here, mister? I'm looking for a man named... What the... Wendy, what the blazes? He went right through the window. Hello, stop that man. That's Wendy still. What's the idea of him going through the window? I'll tell you why, Skeeter. Here he's been bragging all evening about being a friend of the Lone Ranger, ain't he? Sure, unless I'm badly mistaken, this Mass Umbry is the Lone Ranger. And he's known to be after crooks and outlaws, ain't he? And I'd say he's mighty anxious to get his hands on Wendy still for some reason or other. Is that right, mask man? What Tommy says? Well, I'm mighty anxious to see Wendy. Come on, let's try to find him. For nearly two hours, the Lone Ranger, Tonto, and the Cowboys of the Box B had searched the vicinity of the ranch house for some sign of Wendy still. Finally, it was evident to the men that the fugitive had either made his escape or was hiding under the cover of darkness. There ain't no sign of the critter. And I'd sure give a pretty to know what made him scoot for cover when the Lone Ranger showed up. I reckon maybe the mask man here could answer that if he was a mind to. Either him or the engine, for that matter. How about it, mister? Was Wendy running from the law? Well, I, uh, suppose he was, man. I don't think he's gone very far. And if he comes back, let him think Tonto and I have given up and left. You mean you're going to wait around for him to come back? We won't be far away. Come on, Tonto. Hey, but hey, what if he is around close by and what if he comes back? What are we supposed to do, call the sheriff? There's no need of doing that. Let's make it your business to keep Wendy on the Box B for a while. Will you? We sure will. Is there no reward offered for him? Not a cent. Let's go, Tonto. Get him out of scowl, old silver. Hey, I just thought of something. You know, that big fella never said he was a Lone Ranger. Maybe we just thought he was. Well, maybe he didn't say it to you, but he said it to me, Skeeter. Yeah? You mean he said he was a Lone Ranger? Yeah, not in just so many words, but look. Look what the masked man give me. And then figure out who else it could be. Gee, a silver bullet. A real silver bullet. A doggone. Ain't no question about who the masked man is. Not in my mind. The thing I'm wondering is, who's this Jasper we know as Windy still? You know, one thing's certain. He's the biggest wind jammer that ever come down the road. I know that I never in my life heard one man who could talk as fast as that. Now listen, you fellas. You keep mum to Windy when he comes back. What the Lone Ranger said about Windy running from the law. You hear? Yeah, sure. I ain't so sure about what somebody ought to go into Big Bend and tell the sheriff. Well, later maybe, but first, let's find out what in thunder this is all about. The curtain falls on the first act of our Lone Ranger story. Before the next exciting scenes, please permit us to pause for just a few moments. Now to continue our story. The Lone Ranger's sudden appearance at the bunkhouse of the Box Bee Ranch caused a great deal of surprise and speculation as to why he wanted Windy still. A short time after leaving the Box Bee, the Lone Ranger went to the local telegraph office. Yes, sir. What can I do? Mask. A mask outlaw. I'd like you to send this message to St. Louis. But there's nothing illegal about it. It means a lot to certain people. But who the blazers are you? My signature's on the message. There's a dollar for sending it. And here's another one to forget the signature after you sent it. Adios. Wait just a minute until I finish reading this message and see if I want to send... Oh, I'll be quick. It's signed, the Lone Ranger. Come on, do that. The old opera house in St. Louis was jammed, and the breathless crowd of playgoers marveled at the beauty and talent of the young lady on the stage. As the time for the final curtain drew near in the Shakespearean production, Taming of the Shrew. Husband, let's follow and see the end of this at least. First kiss me, Kate, and we will. What? In the midst of the street? What? Art thou ashamed of me? Oh, no, sir. God forbid. But ashamed of kids. Why then, let's home again. Come, sirrah. Let's away. Nay. I will give thee a kiss. Now pray thee, love. Stay. Is this not well? Come, my sweet Kate. Better once than never. For never too late. The great theater was empty when Molly Mayfair came out of her dressing room to find Ronald Camworth waiting for her. Ah, you were magnificent tonight, my dear. Magnificent. Thank you, Ronald. I have a carriage waiting, Molly. Will you dine with me? I, um, I think I'll go to the hotel if you don't mind. Ah, but I do mind, Molly. Yes? Why do you avoid me, darling? Why must I constantly tear my heart into bits over... Oh, please, Ronald. Save your romantic emotions for the footlight. Next week we open in New Orleans. And I'm sure the ladies there will appreciate your ardor more than I. Ah, New Orleans. Truly a garden spot. A paradise of hyacinths, wisteria, magnolia blossoms, and, uh, and, uh... Foghorns. They keep me awake every night. Dear, dear New Orleans. How well I remember my last triumph there as Hamlet. It was during that glorious season of the Mardi Gras. And throughout that beautiful city, the name of Ronald Camworth flashed about from lip to lip and... Miss Mayfair. Oh. Miss Molly Mayfair. Just a moment, Ronald. Over here, Billy. Yes, ma'am. Here you are, ma'am. Here, Billy. And thanks for bringing it up. Oh, thank you, Miss Mayfair. Uh, telegraph, hmm? This is to advise you that... Why, Molly, what in the world is the matter, darling? I, I... You're a trembling child. Here, let me see that message. No. Well, why, why, I... I'm sorry to disappoint you about the wisteria and, and hyacinth and magnolia blossoms, Ronald. But, well, I don't understand. We're not going to New Orleans after all. Not going? But we've got to... The opening will have to be canceled or, or postponed. Perhaps later you'll get your chance to triumph the New Orleans with a different leading lady. Good heavens, Molly. Well, please tell me, what's the meaning of this mysterious talk? What does it all mean? It means that we open next Monday in a place called Big Bend, Texas, for my last appearance on any stage anywhere. The, the, the, the... Big Bend? Big Bend. It's a cattle town in Texas. And for your last... Molly, what in heaven's name do you mean, your last appearance? I'll not try to explain to you, Ronald. But, but, but, but, Molly, this horrible place you mentioned, Big Bend. Well, Molly, why, why not New Orleans, Molly? It's because I don't like foghorns, that's why. Skeeter, I've been trying to figure out just what the law could be after windy still fog. It could be for a lot of things, Tommy. But of course, what... Hey, look, look over yonder. There's some ash man, the Lone Ranger. Look at that white horse run, would you? Oh, boy. Did you come back to the bunkhouse after I left the box B? He sure did. We ain't been able to get a word out of the son of a gun. We know the fellow's a liar, but whether he's an outlaw or not... It might turn out that he is neither. You mean he ain't been lying to us at all? You mean that... You said your own self that windy was running away from the law. He could be doing that without the law chasing him, couldn't he? Well, sure. For windy being the liar you think he is, You'll have a chance to find out next Monday. Here? Just how do you mean? Well, the girl he told you about, Molly Mayfair, she'll be in Big Bend with a troop of show people. She will. If I were you, I'd make it my business to see that Wendy attends a play Miss Mayfair puts on in Big Bend. Man alive, you just bet your bottom dollar will happen there. At last, we're going to prove that Wendy still is nothing but a big talking windbag. You might be able to prove something. You'll watch your chance. I won't say that. From behind the heavy curtains backstage, Ronald Camworth surveyed the group of noisy cowboys, prospectors, and townspeople who were jamming into the small theater. Molly, I tell you disappearance before these hoodlums is positively a disgrace to your career. I'm not thinking in terms of a career tonight, Ryan. I can't understand what's come over you. Throw away your two weeks' engagement in New Orleans to play a one-night stand in Big Bend, Texas. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't condescend to stay overnight in this awful place. Excuse me. I must speak to the stage hands. What? I say, a masked outlaw. This gun is loaded, Camworth. Keep walking. Just what is the meaning of this outrage? Do you think... I think it can be arranged for the great Ronald Camworth to avoid lowering himself in such an awful place as Big Bend. But what do you intend... Keep moving, mister. And that's the story in a nutshell, Miss Mayfair. I thought you liked the privilege of telling Wendy the news yourself. Thank you. Thank you so very much for everything. Who's the lovely star of our show, Miss Molly Mayfair. Thank you. Thank you. I'm sorry to say that I have bad news about tonight's performance. My leading man, Mr. Ronald Camworth, has failed to appear. Miss Mayfair, that ain't no reason why the show can't go on. We got a good actor here to take that fellow's place. Oh? But I didn't know that... You're a old friend of yours, Miss Mayfair. Hang on to him, boys. Now, wait a minute. Skeeter, so help me I'll break your neck. Oh, I'm glad to hear it. Who... Who is this old friend? His name is Wendy Still. And I know that he'll be proud to help you out on your show. How about it, Wendy? Shut up. All right, all right, you fuzzard. But when this is over, I'm still going to break your neck, amigo. I, uh... Uh, hello, Molly. Wendy. I'm glad to see you. You're glad? Last time I saw you, you didn't like fighting men, remember? I remember you ran away because you whipped a man in a fight. You thought... Well, everyone thought the man died. You mean... He lived, Wendy. And that old warrant you've been running away from all this time, it was torn up long ago. Your friend told me just a few minutes ago. What friend? The best friend you ever had. The Lone Ranger. What? So that's why you wanted to see me. And I thought... A long time ago, I thought a career would be the most wonderful thing in the world. But now... Darling, I tried so hard to find you. Hey, how about some play acting? How about some play acting, wouldn't you? You bet, honey. And when we hit that last scene in the fifth act, we can stop play acting, huh? Yes, darling. We'll make it very real. Mr. Still has consented to assist me in presenting that great Shakespearean comedy, The Taming of the Shrew. Let's follow and see the end of this situation. First, kiss me, Kate. And we will. What? You've got a windy fella to read that part, would you? After tonight, immediately, that fella could tell me the moon was made of green cheese, and I'd believe it. Just listen to him. All right, then, let's home again. Come, sinner. Away. Nay, I will give thee a kiss. Now, pray thee, love, stay. Is this not well? Come, my sweet Kate. Better once than never, for never too late. Thank you very much, everyone. I've never played before a nicer audience. Molly. Molly, darling. How'd you ever find out I was down here in Big Bend? The Loon Ranger sent me a telegraph message in St. Louis, and... Oh, good heavens. What's the matter? Camworth. The great Ronald Camworth. He's bound and gagged in his dressing room. Let's go untie him, shall we? Who's doing this? Oh! The story you have just heard is a copyrighted feature of The Loon Ranger, Incorporated. Thank you.
