Personal notice, danger is my stock and trade. If the job's too tough for you to handle, you got a job for me, George Valentine. Write full details. Music Say, I wonder if you like Runyon-esque characters like I do. You know, fellas like Harry the Horse, Nicely Nicely Johnson and all the rest. But don't get me wrong, this is not a Runyon story, but a Let George Do It adventure. However, there is a character called Lou Mendel in this little tale that must have associated with the boys, because you will see that plenty of Broadway has rubbed off on Lou. On top of that, the boy has got trouble. So much so that even his trouble has trouble, which is bad. So what is to do? Get in touch with George Valentine, which he does. Music My dear Mr. Valentine, my name is Lou Mendel. I own a nightclub, the Club Top Hat, which I'm sure if you've ever been there, you'll admit is a very high class place. It's not the type place where we have any trouble, and everything is strictly above the board, which is where you fit into the picture puzzle, Mr. Valentine. There is this girl whose name is Dove. She's a new dancer on account of she can't dance, but I like to be big-hearted. But as of today, my big heart has got me nothing but a blow on the head. This is the essence of the puzzle. Who hit me? Even more important is what about Dove? She is somehow in the middle of the trouble, and for such a nice girl, I don't like it. Oh yes, this is a lot more than just what you may be thinking, because poor little Dove, you understand, looks upon me as her big brother. Music And how do you look upon her, Mr. Mandoff? What's the matter with me? You think I'm inhuman? Well, if she was the third girl from the left, I'd say... Never mind, never mind. You'd say the wrong things anyway. To me, she's nothing except I think I should help. You think she's in trouble. I do not think very much, but there are some things I know. Oh, here, here. Dressing rooms are down this way. We'll wait. Suppose you start at the beginning and we'll... Shh, shh, shh. Oh, hello. Oh, good evening, sir. I think perhaps you're in the wrong place. If you were looking for the check room or the... Oh, no, he's not, Mr. Mendelsey. Oh, what beautiful flowers. Oh, yes. Thank you. I'm sorry I was in your way just waiting, that's all. Well... Not at all. Haven't I seen you someplace before? Oh, no, sir. No, I'm quite certain. No, sir. Stage door journey. Hmm? Oh, no, sir. I just... Well, good evening. Come on, Mendel. That dance number will be over soon. I want to hear your story before... No, no, no. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Which girl are you here to see? Me? Oh, well, I don't think that's any of your... What difference does it make? Come on, come on. Let go of me, Valentine. Which girl? Now, I'll see here. Dumbbell, Dove. What do you think? What? You keep out of this. It's none of your affair. So, who else should rate my tax here on us, Dump? In advance yet with my meter running? I told you to wait outside, driver. There's got to be a light to read heavy stuff like a funny magazine, ain't there? Now, shut up, Bully. Good idea, Buster. Come on, Mendel. For the last time, will you please... But, Dove, that man's going out with Dove. Now, now, now. There's nothing to get excited about. I should have explained. I'm just a friend. My name is Andrews. Oh, good heavens. Nothing to be jealous about. Me? Jealous? Dry up, all of you. I mean, well, look at me. My heavens, I'm old enough to be, well, to be her big brother. You know, this Dove gal must be a real doll. Mendel says she has no talent when it comes to hoofing. So, I wonder what the gal has got. Maybe it's those black net stockings. Or maybe she was smart and listened to this. Now, let's get back and see how George Valentine is doing as to finding out who gave Lou Mendel a hit in the head. Mr. Mendel, please. Look at this. Look at this. See? See here? Just where my hair is thinning. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, you got hit all right. Must have felt nice, but when and where? Last night, here, by the door to a dressing room. There wasn't a convention here then, huh? Well, after closing, I noticed a light. I'd heard a door shut and I came to see what it was. It was a door to the street. Only then all the lights went out. I was hit. Uh-huh. Well, go on, go on. Where does she fit in? Well, I had stooped to look at an envelope lying under the door. In it was a thousand dollar bill. Wow. Yeah, note two. I was reading the note. Do you remember what it said? Yeah. Yeah, it said, uh, the picture was not even worth the price of a loge, but this is where I came in. Oh, brother, this is where I came in. Yeah, but it happened. So it don't make sense. So what? Is there any reason why you should turn up your nose like this? Oh, I don't doubt your word about what happened. It's just a little too simple. But it happened. The picture wasn't worth the price of a loge, but this is where I came in. No signature. I don't know who wrote it, but I got knocked on the head, didn't I? And when you came to, the thousand dollars was gone, I suppose. Money, note, the works, of course. Well, won't you believe that? Oh, yeah, sure. I'm disgusted because the note is so simple and the money too that I wonder why you need my help. Hey, what's this really about, Mendel? What kind of a dumb act are you trying to play? Oh, no, no, please, please. Just because a man has a nightclub, you know, does that make he's got to be suspectable? Can a man in a tuxedo be just people like anybody else? This thing I don't understand, this bump on my head. Yes, George, yes. Can a man who's obviously in love be blind when it comes to... There she is, there she is. The dance number's open. Now, Valentine, quick, what did you mean by what you... Well, Miss Dove, I brought you some flowers and I have a taxi waiting and I... Oh, change in a minute. Well, hello, everybody. Uh, Dove, my dear, I want you to meet... Bye, Mr. Mendel. Now, wait a minute, I want to hear what you... See you again sometime. That's it, go join the boys in the back room, huh? Goodbye. Oh, gee, you shouldn't have done that. He's the boss. Oh, he'll get over it. So you're, uh, Dove, huh? Mm-hmm. It's a family name. Oh, and this is the face that launched a thousand ships. Well, I think I get it now, George. What'd I do? You mean we had lunch together or something? And I don't know any sailors. Uh, yeah, my name's Valentine. Well, I'm very pleased to know you. No, you're not. I want to know about the thousand bucks you charge somebody for a picture. What? Picture of what? Oh, now, don't be so innocent. That's your line, isn't it? Shakedown? Oh, well, I'm pretty new to dancing. I guess I never heard of that routine. You never heard... What me, George? Darling, we're talking about blackmail. You don't mind, do you? No, not at all. What is it? Oh, now look, sister. Oh, I mean, the thing they always do on the radio. Sure, on mystery shows. Only, gee, you're not one of those private eyes, are you? Well, sit down, won't you? I mean, I'd sure like to hear about your work and everything. Oh, for the love of Pete. Now, what'd I do wrong? I didn't mean to hurt anybody's feelings. You know, I'm always saying things... Well, it isn't what you say, dear. It's what you do. But I don't have anything to do with blackmail. I don't even know... Dove, I don't believe you. Ah, lay off her. Will you pick on somebody your own size? Ah, what? Oh, Max, Max, it's all right. They just don't understand... What's the big idea, anyway? You work for that jerk boss of hers? I just take it easy, Buster. Nobody's gonna push Dove around while I'm... I thought the other guy had a date with her, not you. You're just a taxi jockey. I got just as much right in the fear as you got. That's so, Dove. She looks on me like a big brother, see? Oh, no, not you, too. Oh, yes. Max here's been very kind to me. Whatever it is, she got nothing to do with it, see? That's all I'm telling you. This baby is nice, but she's just plain dumb, do you get me? Buster, nobody could be as dumb as she's been pretending to be. Oh, yes, yes, it's true, I'm afraid. I mean, I could. I can't help it. It's just the way I was born, I guess. But at school they always told me never mind it didn't make any difference. I had other attractions. I mean... That's what I mean. There. You need further proof? Or do I have to knock your block off? Hey, Buster, you want to take a trip out to the alley? George! Oh, no! Come on, you asked for it. Now, look, look, I got a wife and three kids, see? Okay, this looks like a good place. Now, look, look, it's only I can't stand people who should think things about dumbness, that's all. Gets me sore. Dove is like my Myrtle. She wouldn't even know how to blackmail a butcher. Want a cigarette? What? Relax, will you? All I want is a little private information. Oh. Now, look, don't think I was afraid of you. No, no, no. So only since I get married did I figure fighting is stupid when you don't have to. I mean, on the outside. Yeah, sure. Say, how many big brothers does Dove have? Oh, I don't know. Every guy that meets her, I guess. Sort of brings out the protective instinct, that type, don't you think? What about that guy with the flowers, that guy Andrews? Well, all I know is she went out with him the other night, because I rode him out to a supper place. Only, don't get me wrong, Dove strictly wouldn't even hold hands with a guy like that. He's about as harmless as... What about her boss, Mendel? Search me, I'm no detective. Well, I guess you could find out about him easy enough. Yeah, yeah, that's just what I'm gonna do. If you want, I can check with Dove's landlord. I've seen him one night. Looks like kind of a nice guy, but she says he's an awful snob. Uh-huh. Well, now you get the idea. Who are her friends? Who does she go out with? You're a driver. It ought to be easy. Let me know, will you? Sure. Just so long as you don't think she's mixed up in anything. Buster, so far there's only one person mixed up. George Valentine. Yes? Oh, yes, he came back here to the office. Here, let me have an agent. Hello? That's me, Mr. Valentine. I thought you'd be with that Mendel... Oh, Max. No, no, I left him an hour ago. He's even harder to dig information out of than you are. Yeah, but did you get anything on him? I mean, did you check his record? Hey, hold on a minute. What do you want to know? Well, I'm at Dove's apartment, see? Only she's not here. And you remember that snobby landlord I told you about? Yeah, sure. Only look, Max, I doubt if this case is worth all the trouble. Well, he's here, the landlord of me. What? I guess he could give you information, all right. Only he's dead. Now, you hear me? Dead, I said, from bullets. I mean, it's a case, all right. Get here fast, will you? I got a wife and three kids. I'm bowing out. From now on, what Dove needs is a big brother like you. Well, there's one thing I know for sure. This Dove gal is certainly no dove of peace. Of course, I can't feel too sorry for that landlord since I never got to meet him. But I will feel real sorry if you don't lend an attentive ear to this. Now, back to George Valentine. Big brother, that's all of the girl named Dove wants any man to be, but somehow every man seems to want the role. And you're not surprised. Dove is something, all right. But what? Well, if your name is George Valentine, you think it's about time to find out when one of the big brothers, her landlord that you haven't even met, turns out to be dead, murdered in Dove's apartment. Yeah, yeah, it was a gun. All right. Four bullets. One would have done the trick. His pockets are practically empty, Lieutenant. Sure, sure. What do you expect? Free cigars? Okay, okay. Somebody after something he had, huh? Only what was the landlord doing in Dove's apartment? That's what I want to know. Max out there said he didn't touch him. He was lying in front of the desk. Yes, and one of the drawers has been opened. Sure, sure. The paper's all messed up. Are there any fingerprints? Fingerprints. My friend, there's not a single one in this entire apartment anywhere. Ah, so whoever did it spent his time cleaning up, huh? After rifling the desk. No, I don't think so. Oh, you don't. Mice did it. The landlord did it. Yeah. Huh? Well, look around. Isn't that what happened? The landlord was rifling the desk here when somebody came in and killed him. Looks like he even put up a little fight first. But since his pockets are empty, whatever the killer wanted was on the landlord, not in any desk. Big deduction. Solves everything. The picture wasn't worth the price of a loge, but this is where I came in. What'd you say? Double feature, Johnson. Sure, I guess I was right. Look here. Hole in his pocket. Yeah, it was down in the lining. What picture? Don't look so blank, Lieutenant. Remember that note I told you about with the alleged thousand bucks? It's a picture of Dove, George. Let me see. It's not very clear. Taken so close up. Enlargement of part of a picture, that's all. Only look at that. Some guy's got his arms around her, even in clothes. Which one is it? Which guy? It's a new one. Search me. I never saw him before. He looks awfully respectable. There's nothing really wrong, but a picture like that would be worth something. Dove's so attractive that if it were me, I'd be a little bit more As a married man, I can tell you that a picture of any man within 500 miles of that babe would be worth something. Oh, but she's so innocent, so dumb. Take it easy, Johnson. The background's blurred. The color values in the picture are all haywire. So what? Sergeant, send that babe in here. Yes, sir. Only, she's kind of upset. Not half as much as she's going to be when I get through with her. Listen, Johnson, let me do it my way, will you? I think you ought to go kind of easy with her. She's pretty young. Oh, you suckers. All of you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I Don't want to be any trouble. Just whatever you say. Listen, Sister, a man was shot while rifling your apartment. Who's the most likely person to object to a trespasser? You. Yeah, yeah, yeah, here, look at this. Who was it? Guy in the picture? What's his name? For heaven's sake. Never mind the surprise act. Stokes, JJ Stokes. Stolpes? J.J. Stolpes? I always called him mister. But can you imagine us putting his arm around me like that when I never even let him hold hands? You see, I always looked upon him as sort of a big... well, as if he was my big... what's the matter? Say, brother, I dare you. Just say it once. Oh, lieutenant, you're angry about something. I don't understand any of this. Honest, I don't. You can't... Stop acting dumb. J.J. Stolpes. Okay, lieutenant, why don't you find him? Come on, Dove. Oh, yes. Valentine. Hey, Max, where are you? Where's your taxi? Dove and I are going for a ride. Valentine. Let your sergeant follow me, lieutenant, but you find Stolpes. Did you try looking in a book, Mr. Valentine? Yeah, there were 17 Andrews. You said you took him home the other night. It's around here someplace. Don't worry, I'll find him. But I didn't go out with Mr. Andrews tonight. I changed my mind. I mean, Mr. Mendel got all upset, and that made me upset. So I went to a late movie. I mean, after you left... Look, will you not talk except when I ask you to? I get mixed up every time I look at you. It's very sweet of you to say so. Yeah, well, that wasn't exactly... Hey, take it easy, Max. Just remember, that's all Andrews' place. I'm on the wrong street. So am I. What? Hey, Dove, tell me about that landlord. He was a snoop, is that right? Curious about you, watching to see who you went out with and so on, is that right? Shall I answer you? Oh, now look, Dove. Well, I mean, you mix me up too, you know. Uh... Well, I mean, yeah, sure he was. That's all I know about him. I mean, I don't go out with so many fellas, only there's no reason I shouldn't, is there? If they're nice and they ask me. And they usually do, you know. Max up there, he says I'm one of the forces of nature. Of course he exaggerates. Only I can't help it, can I? Well, here we are, Chief. What are you waiting for? Turn her over to the sergeant back there, will you, Max? Oh, Mr. Valentine! So long, baby. I got another date for tonight. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] No, I do not know anything about a thousand dollars. Well, for the look of your house here, you can afford to, Mr. Andrews. Please, please, don't talk so loudly. You'll wake up Mother. Huh? Well, this is Mother's house. In fact, it's, uh... It's her money, too. Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah. I thought before that I'd seen you someplace. Society stuff, huh? Now, Mr. Valentine, please, would you get out of here? I don't know anything that would help you. Where did you meet, Dove? Oh, well, I... saw her and wanted to meet her. Who wouldn't? A blind man. But don't you get it? It costs money for a guy like you to be seen with her. Oh, no. Like, uh, maybe a thousand dollars. And you write a big joke note to go with it, and you deliver both last night to a dressing room, but you see Mendel nosing around, so you have to tap him over the head. No. I've never paid anyone a thousand dollars. And besides, the murder wouldn't make sense that I would do it. Anything could make sense, Buster, where that dame is concerned. Now, look, the landlord was nosing around. He got his hands on some of the pictures. You could have killed him. I was here at home, and you can ask Mother. Okay, I will ask her. Oh, no, no, no, stop, wait. Well... I... I didn't pay a thousand dollars... because I paid two thousand. Wow. Now, I thought you'd have some answers. What for? A picture? Yes. Oh, but it was a fraud, I assure you. Arms around her? Yes, but I've never even thought of Dove that way. She's just so beautiful, and she... Well, she needs protection. It was some sort of process, Charlie. Yeah, I already thought of that, sure. Two pictures put together, maybe. Only, why so tender about a blackmailer? Oh, no, no, no, I can't believe it. That's why I was at the club tonight. I wanted to ask her about it. Why didn't you ask when you gave her the dough? Well, I sent it to the post office. You did what? It was a box number. It wasn't to her. You see, I received the instructions by telephone, and it definitely was a man who called. Man, huh? By telephone? Where's your phone? Oh, there, but it's an extension of my mother's, my dear. Be quiet, will you? You'll wake her up. Hello, give me Lieutenant Johnson. This is George Valentine. Mr. Andrews, I think you just waked me up. This is a very simple crime. The clue has been lying right in front of me all... Valentine, where you been? Your sergeant told you where I'd be. Now listen, Johnson... I will not. I'm not talking to me. I'm just on my way out. Traffic called in. That taxi driver Max had a wreck. What? That's right. All over a retaining wall at the bottom of Commercial Street Hill. You want to know who caused it? The guy who hired you. Lou Mendel. I like calling me. I didn't do nothing, see? Motorcycle cop picked you up in your car, didn't he? Yeah, well, sure, but I... Johnson, Max says that Mendel here side swiped you. Well, he's not saying much of anything the way he's banged up over there. But yeah, Mendel followed him, then passed him on the right, so he'd have to swing out into a truck. Well, Mendel... No, I can't... Max gunned the cab instead and couldn't make the turn at the bottom of the hill, that's all. It's not true. Not a word of it. And there's no way you can prove that I was even on this street. Okay, I won't bother. I'll let Max do it. What? Now listen, wait a minute. I'm hiring you because a girl's in trouble, see? Now you got me in it. Now you say she's a blackmailer. Now you say... Hey, Johnson, did you find the guy in the picture, Stolpes? Yeah, yeah. He was the one who wrote the note and sent the thousand, all right? But he hasn't got anything to do with the murder. Neither has Andrews. Suckers who've already paid up don't kill people. Only who asked Stolpes to pay? Well, let's say Haywire Part. Stolpes sent the money to Dove because he just assumed she was the one behind it. A man's voice on the phone said, send it to a post office box. What is all this? Hey, you see, Mendel, we're getting the girl out of trouble, all right? Yes, but... Be smart. Most people you get out of trouble, the fewer there are to be in it. It's who's behind the girl. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Hello, Max, how do you feel? Oh, lousy. No bones broken, but we'll take him down to the hospital as soon as you get through... Little messed up, though, huh? Yeah, yeah. And, uh, Mendel here today? l don't know. Looked like his car, but l don't know how he could prove it. Yeah, l understand. Messed up your cab pretty bad, too, didn't it? Yeah, burned. l just got out in time. Uh-huh. This time of night, nobody around to help you. Or see, either. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Now, will you listen to me? l tell you, l'm driving my car. Oh, stop shaking, Mendel. Look at Max here. He scratched himself all up and wrecked this cab, too, and he's not nervous. Just scared to death, that's all. What? Valentine, what are you talking about? Johnson, you know a man's pretty desperate when he's committed murder. What did you do with the meter in your taxi, Max? Me? What in the name... That's why you wrecked the cab, isn't it? Because you knew l'd catch on in about one minute flat. Got rid of the meter and then wrecked the cab and burned it fast before l could tear it apart. You're crazy. There's not enough dough in five weeks and that made it a... There's a camera in it, though, isn't there? Camera? Hey, Valentine. Yeah, that's right. Come to the party. Pictures were fuzzy, taken too close, color values haywire, infrared, l suppose. You can't prove nothing about nothing. l'm hurt, see? l'm going to the hospital. Oh, l can prove everything. For instance, trying to point a desperate finger at Mendel here. What did you do? Wait, did you spot him driving home or was that just luck? That's a detective for you. His best friend, he'd frame him into something. His old grandmother, probably. Valentine, with my own bare hands, l ought to throttle you. Oh, Buster, you just said it yourself, with your own bare hands. Huh? Yeah, that's how you trapped yourself. You know what l'm talking about, no fingerprints. Not a single fingerprint in that entire apartment where the landlord was killed. Not anywhere. Ah, so it's my fault, l suppose. You were too careful, Max, because you reported the crime to me from that same apartment. Well, Buster, why didn't they find your fingerprints on that telephone? l got him. Get your hands off me. Valentine, wait. Hold him, Sergeant, hold him. Where you going? It's all over. Oh, no, it's not, Johnson. You're going to look for that taxi meter, aren't you? Why, sure, but... Okay, then, before you find it, l got about two seconds to find Brooksy. My explanation hasn't even started yet. l wonder what George has up his sleeve. Seems to me this case is open and shut. But l guess we'll just have to be patient for a minute, which won't be hard because of this. George, l understand all that, and l can read his confession in the morning. Well, l just wanted you to get it from me first. Hey, driver, get off the main street, will you, and go a little faster? Sure. Go a little ways faster. That makes sense, l should argue. George, the thing l'm interested in is Dove. Well, me too. What man wouldn't be? But she was responsible for all this. Max couldn't have done it without her cooperation, so... No, no, no, Angel, l think she told the truth. l think she's just dumb. You too, huh? Not that she isn't dumb, but... See, l wanted to demonstrate something to you. That's why we're in this cab. You see, l was in Max's cab with Dove earlier, like the other guys had been. And l saw how it could have worked. How what could have worked? Well, if they ever develop pictures from that meter, one of them will be me, with my arms around her. George! So, that's why l think she's so innocent, and she couldn't understand the pictures herself, so therefore... You mean she's a menace to... Hey, driver, take that corner a little faster. George, what on earth are you... See what l mean? Just accidental, that's all. The arms, that is. That's your story. Yeah. Take another corner, will you, friend? Sure, let's get dizzy. Hang on. Hey, hey, you too. l ain't going around no corners no more. Oh, well. Maybe he's a brother or something. You have just heard Big Brother, another Let George Do It adventure. Robert Bailey was starred as George Valentine with Virginia Gregg as Bruxy. The story was by David Victor and Jackson Gillis, with music by Eddie Dunstetter. Now, this is yours truly, inviting you to another visit with Valentine, when you will again hear what happens when you Let George Do It. He's made.
