Personal notice, dangers my stock and trade. If the job's too tough for you to handle, you got a job for me, George Valentine. Write full details. Music You know something? I'd love to be a detective. You meet so many interesting monsters. Take the fellow who's about to get in touch with George Valentine. He's a big game hunter with a cargo of hungry wildcats, boa constrictors, and other charming playmates. Now, what this old codger wants with our George, I don't know. But I do know this. Our Let George Do It adventure is called The Hand and the Coconut. And just in case you don't care for jungle stories, you better pay attention anyway, because you'll learn a dandy new way to keep Junior's mitt out of the cookie jar. Music My dear Mr. Valentine, this is a letter about monkeys. My name is Derek Stang, the same Derek Stang whose exploits in the jungle you no doubt read as a boy. I am still as alive as an old battleground of scars and fevers can be alive. Today I'm writing my letter on the deck of a sweltering ship, a South African freighter tied up at the port in your town. There's a little capuchin monkey trying to untie my shoelaces at the present moment. Monkeys are strange animals. They're greedy like human beings. I have trapped them many times by the simple expedient of placing this shiny, desirable object inside a hollowed out coconut to which there is only a single small opening, an opening just big enough for a monkey's hand. Of course, the monkey reaches in to grasp the object. Inside the coconut he grasps it, his hand makes a fist, but then, Mr. Valentine, he can't pull his hand out. The fist is too big. His greed is greater than his fear of the approaching hunter. Mr. Valentine, would you please come to visit me this evening? I need your help to complete the capture of the monkey, a monkey whose hand is already trapped, a monkey by the name of Lars Mikkelsen. You are listening to Let George Do It. Our adventure will continue in just a moment. Now back to Let George Do It and George Valentine. You didn't think I could stay away, did you, Mr. Stangs? Here we are, through here. I'm supposed to be in bed, you know, but I was afraid you couldn't find your way from the pier, and so few people pay any attention to an old man. I've heard of you too, Mr. Stang, only somehow I always imagined you as... Taller, taller, yes, yes. There's more hair in my beard. Perched as strident elephant, perhaps. Isn't it wonderful? The romance there is in those old National Geographic pictures. Yeah, the greatest hunter in the world. Well, I remember when you... Oh, but I still am. Yes, yes, yes. Indeed, there's no one who can approach me. My exploits will never be... Wait a minute, that red sign back there, what did it mean? Quarantine, Miss Brooks. Ah. Animal quarantine. Ten days I've been stewing here because of some ridiculous nonsense... Careful there. Oh, yes. Gangplank runs straight into the ship, into the hole. I'm all right. But quarantine for what? It's a plot against me, that's what it is. No lights on, the captain disappears. Oh, yes, yes, he's ashore. He's having fun. I have matches. Here, the ladder to the... Oh! What an oaf. Steady, steady, steady, it's all right. It's a panther. Very rare specimen. Tore a couple of native boys to shreds when he got him. But he's in a cage now, aren't you, old boy? Yes, they're all in cages. Animals. A ship full of wild animals. Here, here, look here, see? It's a constrictor. Thirty-three feet. Takes quite a crepe to pack them in, doesn't it? See, through the little bars? And over here, the poison machine. Oh, thanks, I'm not much interested in snakes. No, no, no, of course not. Too easy, much too easy. All of them are, you know. Sixty years old I am. Living from pill to pill, fever to fever. Well, I guess you're still the greatest animal... Red tape to be finally caught myself in red tape. Oh, you mean this quarantine? Yes, not one of my animals is sick, mind you. Not one. Zoos all over the country waiting for delivery. But the day we dock, what happens? An officious young veterinary, a board for the usual government inspection, and he and the captain get together. Well, look, Mr. Stang, this veterinary or the captain is one of their names, Lars Mikkelsen. Is that what you meant when you wrote to me? No, no, no, no, no, Mr. Bowling, that's the vet, Mr. Bowling. The captain's name is Teague. I've had trouble with him before. Shh! Now, Baba, how many times have I told you... Asleep, asleep, stupid like men, big booming feet on the floor. You come booming like elephants. All right, all right. My wife, Mr. Valentine, she... Baba, men. Ah, this is... No, no, no, no, no, no. My wife is asleep. She means in there. Baba, these are friends of mine. We're just going to my stateroom. Well, go, go. Do not just talk about it. She's asleep. Be quiet. Of course, of course. All right, all right. Men, elephants in the mood. Here, here we are. What in heaven's name was that old thing in earrings? Baba, old fashioned notion of my wife's the personal servant, the devoted slave. I found her in Cairo 25 years ago. Claims she could talk to animals. She looked just the same then, but she gets more and more obnoxious every year. Did your wife make this last trip with you, Mr. Sting? Oh, yes, yes. It has to be somebody to tie my muffler, spoon out my medicine, yammer at the old man. Mr. Sting, wait a minute. Look. What do you want me for? To be a witness. The hand in the coconut. Lars Mikkelsen. But who is Lars? The captain left the ship in charge of this man, an ugly, conniving rogue, the second mate. Lars Mikkelsen. But what did he do? What do you want me to be a witness to? Mr. Valentine. He stole my field glasses. He... What? Especially made ones, they were, too. Finest-sized lenses. There were several things stolen during the voyage, but I was sick. I didn't notice. First, a hunting knife, then other little things. Now, you ought to see that he has them. That's all. I will testify to their loss. I'm seeing my lawyer in the morning. What makes you think Mikkelsen took these things? The hand in the coconut, I told you. The field glasses, I placed where he could take them. He won't let go. No one else could have taken them. He's up in his cabin now. Oh. You think this is trivial? I'm being vindictive. But, Mr. Valentine, people can't get away with things with me. I won't let them. Now, you'll find out for me, won't you? You'll come back first thing in the morning. This quarantine, my fevers, those nagging women, you understand, don't you? It's the last straw. When somebody thinks I'm so ineffectual, I can be stolen from without... All right, Mr. Stang, all right, yeah, sure. See you in the morning. The boyhood hero. How the mighty have fallen. Oh, George, I feel sorry for him. What are you going to do? He's going to see his lawyer in the morning and prefer charges against him. What can we do, angel? I don't like a thief either. The wine and the coconut. Poor, worn-out, suspicious old guy. Well, at least we can do is find out if he's right. Sure, sure, those are good field glasses. What of it? Well, we were on the ship here, Mr. Mickelson. I just wondered what the skyline of the city would look like from...well, I saw you with them around your neck and... The name is Lars, sister. Second-maids don't rate that Mr. Stuff on the top like this. I just been cleaning them in my cabin there. You want to go out on deck? Oh, wait a second. Zeiss lenses, huh? Nothing but the best. Who are you? What are you doing aboard? Oh, we're just visiting, Mr. Stang. Oh, nasty old coot, isn't he? What's the matter, buddy? Whose glasses are these? Mine, of course. What are you talking about? They're a gift, that's all. Look, what in the name of... Oh, excuse me. Mr. Mickelson, have you seen my... Well, how handy. Those are what I came for. Uh, these? Yes, of course, my glasses. I wanted to take a look at them. Wait a minute, Lorna, baby, you said you... Beg your pardon? I don't know who you are, but if this fresh sailor's a friend of yours... Baby, I don't... Mr. Mickelson, I want these field glasses. I loaned them to you, remember? Are you so stupid... Here you are, lady, here you are. Thank you. You're not stupid at all. But then, maybe you're not a sailor. Bye-bye. Well, here's one for you, angel. You're a tempest in a teapot. So much fuss over a pair of field glasses. Here's hers, here's hers. Where on this ship, tourist? Now, get off, both of you. What are you so mad about? Who is she, friend? Passenger. Lorna Stang. Mrs. Stang. Mrs. Stang? But she was supposed to be asleep. Look, both of you, there's a gangway off the forward deck through here. Now, come on, be good, will you? I'm busy trying to get ready so we can unload when this crazy quarantine... Wait a minute, wait a minute. Why can't we go through here? No, no, you can't get out there. She came. Here, this is the door she came out of, isn't it? The same one you came from when we came in here? No, no, no, get away from... Says you, handsome. I don't know why you should be so upset, Mr. Mickelson. There's nothing through that door except... except apparently your stateroom. I don't know what goes on on that ship, Mr. Valentine. I'm just a veterinarian. Strange bunch of people being cooped up together for a long time. Mr. Bowling, I tried to get hold of the captain, but he doesn't seem... The captain went ashore the day they landed. I've known him for years, nice guy. Besides, that second mate Mickelson offered to stay aboard and keep an eye on things. That's not surprising. Huh? I don't know what goes on on that ship, Mr. Valentine. I'm just a veterinarian. Strange bunch of people being cooped up together for a long time. That's not surprising. Huh? Oh, well, yeah, I know what you mean. They're about the same age, I guess. I mean, Mrs. Stang. Yeah, we know what you mean. I'd like to help the old guy, too. He's one of my heroes. I guess if his wife is giving things away to her sailor friend, your evidence might at least help him get a divorce from her. She's no good, I can tell you that. Stang says there's something funny about the quarantine. There is. When the ship docked, a letter from one of the crew said a couple of the animals had been suspiciously sick during the voyage. Going to take the quarantine off tomorrow, let them all in. False alarm. Anonymous letter from one of the crew. Made sense at the time. Doesn't know. Would you clear that up? Well, George, after all, Mrs. Stang is the kind of woman who'd pull a wool over her husband's eyes in one way. Not exactly what I meant either, Miss Brooks. Oh, yeah, she might have written the note. To finagle a couple of more weeks with a sailor? That's not likely. Derek Stang who's sick, Mr. Valentine. We know that. He keeps alive from medicine to medicine. Old fevers, something tropical. Medicine in blue wrappers? Huh? Yes, yes, as a matter of fact. Tablets of some kind. Something pretty strong, I should imagine. Oh, but his wife... His wife is also his nurse, Miss Brooks. He depends on her. Aside from his money, she's all he's got. Only, Mr. Valentine, why did you say blue? Oh, because I noticed a stack of blue papers in Lars Mikkelsen's cabin. George. The greatest hunter in the world. Suppose he's the one walking into a trap. Yeah. Suppose it's his hand in the coconut. You are listening to Let George Do It. Our adventure will continue in just a moment. And now back to George Valentine. The hand in the coconut. You meet one of your childhood heroes, the greatest hunter in the world, Derek Stang. You find that he is still the greatest hunter when it comes to animals. But his observation of human beings is a little less acute. He thought you would trap Lars Mikkelsen for stealing a pair of field glasses. Instead, you have trapped him for stealing Mr. Stang's wife. Or is it the other way around? If your name is George Valentine, you have begun to suspect that the person who is really in danger of being trapped is the hunter himself. I don't know what I can do in this situation, Mr. Valentine. Dragging me down to the waterfront. I know, Doctor, I know. I'm sorry we had to get you out of bed. Oh, look at that fog. Stang must have his own position. You know, I can't interfere. Mr. Stang's stateroom is right here. Don't see his wife's watchdog around anyplace, do you, Angel? Come on, let's slip into his cabin. We'll wake him up. George is not here. He's gone. Well, you dragged me out to look at a man you think might be sick. You see, he's so sick, he's out walking around and sick someplace at 6 a.m. or going someplace else. Well, I'm a doctor, Mr. Valentine. You expect me to take seriously the idea that... Wait a minute, wait a minute. Here, look at these. Here, blue papers. In the wastebasket. George, the same as those powders, those tablets were... Yeah, only look how many of them. Yes, the accumulation of days, judging from the other trash. Hmm, strong. Well, I grant you the old man is taking strong medicine, but your poison generally die in bed. And if a man had been living on this stuff, he could build up quite a resistance. In fact, Mr. Valentine, while it might hurt you or me, he couldn't be poisoned with it. Ahh! Mrs. Stang. George, here she is. What's the matter? What happened? Hey, lady, snap out of it, snap out of it. I'm all right. I... Lorna, Lorna, what is it? What are you doing to her? What's the big idea? Take it easy, Buster, take it easy. It wasn't me. He's just staring at something down there in the fog. Baba, Baba, she screamed. I heard her, but I can't see. Mrs. Stang, where are you? Mr. Stang, look out! Look out! In the water, in the water. He fell in the water. George, I can't see him. There's his cane, but it's so far from the wharf. He's not here. He's gone down. I could see him go down. They're calling so fast, I can't do anything. Hey, there's the police over there. Get a boat for him, Nicholson, step on it. They're calling so fast. All right, all right, do what you can. He just fall. I could see him fall. Now listen, old lady, will you tell us... There was something the matter with him. He walk like the blind. I call out, I shout, I tried to grab him in time, but he fall. This man over there on the deck saw the splash too, Valentine. Looks like Stang's been swept out. All right, all right, only Mrs. Stang... Leave me alone. My baby, I could not grab in time. Don't touch me, Baba. Oh, my baby. Baba, come here, will you? Now look, he fell here, over this rail? Yes, I think. It was in the fog. I couldn't... Okay, now listen, I don't believe you. And I don't mean just the rail. I mean the scuppers, wide and deep, see? If a man fell, he'd only land against the rail. Men, he fall, I say. I saw him fall. They're not doing much good, Valentine. Nicholson. The police couldn't get out in time, neither could I. He didn't come up. He's gone. He's gone, you understand? Yeah, I understand. It's as phony as a lead nickel. They're lying. Of course they're lying. But there's nobody aboard the ship except the three of them, was there? Riley, suppose that old herodin gave the poor guy a shot. Of course she did. What else? You already saw how Baba was covering for Mrs. Stang, didn't you? The good, faithful old Dwayne helping out in all kinds of cute ways. No real witnesses. You'll never get a conviction. I'll get a confession, my friend. You were with the other two, so they couldn't have shoved them. All right, Mrs. Stang, let's go inside and... Mrs. Stang. Oh, I'm sorry. What? Leave her alone. Still staring at nothing, huh? But you ought to stop shaking, Mrs. Stang. I'm all right. Oh, sure, sure. You're fine, fine. Just a little upset because you're going to get all of Stang's money at the expense of your stooge, poor, faithful old Baba, who'll be locked up for murder. She told you he fell. She told you, didn't she? She told you. No. Well, go on, go on. Oh, Doctor, what's the matter? Medical Convention, Lieutenant. That other man over there with the bag, colleague of mine, Dr. Morrison, just got here. Says a woman called him from the ship almost an hour ago, before we came aboard, Valentine. No. Had to hurry all the way across town. Woman identified herself as Lorna Stang. No, no. Said she'd just gone into her husband's stateroom to give him his regular medicine, only he wouldn't wake up for it. She was afraid he was dead. Oh. So it was just his body that went overboard, don't you understand, Reverend? We'll get a confession that three of them are enemies. Wait a minute, hold it. Doctor, what else in that wastebasket? Same wrappers, same medicine. So they poisoned him. What difference does it make? Will you ever prove it? I don't have to. No. Even if you had his body, you wouldn't either. Tablets are gone from the mate's cabin where I saw them, aren't they? Huh? What's that got to do with it? Hey, Dr. Towing, Derek Stang lived on this stuff. What would happen if it were taken away? Well, it's hard to tell. Die sooner or later, probably. Uh-huh. Well, suppose Lorna Stang had left those tablets with the mate. Suppose they were substituting something harmless for the strong stuff in the blue papers. Suppose that was the idea. Even an autopsy couldn't prove that absence of medicine had killed a man. Hey, where are you going? Where do you think, Raleigh? To catch a monkey. Mr. Stang told me you talk to animals. Is that right, bubba? Why not? They can say more than men. I already told you we know the whole story, didn't I? That your beloved mistress confessed, the whole thing, all of it? And so? And so now tell me he fell overboard. I threw him overboard. He was dead. I see him dead in the stateroom. Oh, great. Helpful Nellie, huh? I wonder Mrs. Stang wouldn't let you touch her. I wonder it was she who screamed when she saw you out there on deck. You kind of interfered with their little plan, didn't you? I know nothing of plans. You knew enough that when you saw the body you figured it was murder and thought you'd better be helpful and get rid of the evidence. She is my mistress. For her I would do anything. But you say she confessed. I lied. You shucko. Take it easy, Nellie. Look out. Now look out. Yeah, be careful. Don't get your friends excited. Besides, you're not really mad. You told it too easy, so don't pretend. There should be cages. Oh, I'm not afraid of these things. All behind bars, aren't they? All trapped? Monkeys, panther? Yeah, even the snakes. I talk to animals too, you know, Baba. Ah, you fool. No, no, no, I'm not. You are. The good and faithful servant who spoiled Lorna Stang's plan for a perfect murder. So perfect, so neat, it must have been put right in front of her. Like bait in front of an animal, like a shiny object in a coconut to trap the greedy monkeys. Look out. They move the cages. Sometimes there are accidents. Cut it out, old woman. I'm not afraid. But everybody else seems to be. Stevedore's, policemen. They don't come any closer than they have to, do they? You're only too glad to get rid of this slice of the jungle. Now let's see. All consigned for shipment to Derek Stang's animal farm. You talk like they win. Ah, men. Old woman, so faithful to Lorna Stang. I guess she believed it. You put up a pretty good act. But then she's young. You can't have been with her very long. And the great hunter told me he found you at Cairo 25 years ago. Faithful to whom, Barbara? Now let's see. Who's everybody most afraid of? Snakes, I guess. Boa cons... Look out! Don't touch the cage! The great hunter. Greatest in the world. Hello, Mr. Stang. Stand very still, Mr. Valentine. Oh, yeah. Now I get it. The snake was the dead man thrown overboard. Yeah. Even when I was a kid, I knew how good you were. Don't know why I thought you were slipping. There is a snake in the next cage under my hand. Alive and poisonous. It will stand here quietly until I am loaded off the ship with my animals. No, you're not a hero anymore. Just a guy who baits coconuts. Waits until the monkeys bite. Think they've killed you and then mess things up by having Barbara throw something overboard with a splash. Then she reluctantly admits it. It was you. You would have made a good pupil, Mr. Valentine. I doubt it. You picked me for a sucker, didn't you? Because you arranged this phony quarantine that kept the monkeys aboard, where you'd all be cooped up together, where you could push Lorne and lies into what they did. Sure, you arranged it all. It won't do you any good to move, Mr. Valentine. I left this catch and the snake is released. He's faster than you. I was hired as a witness, wasn't I? Yes, a witness, Mr. Valentine, to a murder without a body. Oh, yeah, that's better, isn't it? It'd be second degree. They'd be put in prison, locked up, put in cages. Yes, yes. I never kill animals, you know. So you baited the trap. In cages, Mr. Valentine, they'll still be here. Perhaps you too. The biggest game in the world, men. And I am the only hunter in the world who ever tried to... Hold it, Stang. Hold it. Now you listen to me. I'm just an amateur, see? Mr. Valentine, there's no more time. It's up to the snake to... When I go hunting, now you listen to me. I'm stupid when I go hunting. Because I carry a gun. Hey, you see? Now your snake's dead. So you stand still, buster. I could probably get a game permit for you. Back to the conclusion of our Let George Do It adventure in just a moment. But Stang didn't do anything. That's the awful part. He made the other people do things that were wrong so there's nothing the police can hold him for. Angel Derrick Stang was really successful, you know that, don't you? He kept trying to get bigger and bigger game all his life. And then he tried to trap human beings into a spot where they'd be caged. Yes, but he's... Until he finally trapped himself, don't you understand? One look at that guy and what do you think any court would decide? Well, don't worry. He'll be in a cage, all right. A padded one. Oh, George. Let's forget this nightmare. Take me someplace for a nice cozy supper. Mmm. Okay, the Tropic Inn. Is it nice? Oh, yeah, Angel. They serve a delicious kind of drink there. In a coconut shell. Oh, George. You have just heard The Hand in the Coconut, another Let George Do It adventure. Robert Bailey was starred as George Valentine with Virginia Gregg as Brooksy. David Victor and Jackson Gillis wrote the story with music by Eddie Dunstetter. Now this is yours truly inviting you to another visit with Valentine, when you will again hear what happens when you Let George Do It. Music
