Personal notice, danger to my stock and trade. If the job's too tough for you to handle, you got a job for me, George Valentine. Write full detail. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] Standard Oil Company of California, on behalf of independent Chevron gas stations and standard stations throughout the West, invites you to let George do it. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] Most Likely to Die, another adventure of George Valentine. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] George, listen. Two telegrams sent just an hour ago, they came together. Mr. Valentine, brother and I need you desperately this evening, staying a few days at Graduate Hall, campus Siever University. Both hopelessly embroiled in situation only too likely to be death of me, signed Joseph Durfee. Well, go on, go on. What's the other wire say? Mr. Valentine, brother and I need you desperately this evening. Please wear a tuxedo. Be patient with our middle-aged foolishness, leading quickly and dangerously to tragedy. You can find us at party at Graduate Hall. Please don't delay. Not lying when I say it's likely to be death of me, signed Douglas Durfee. Now, Brooksie, I'm afraid this tuxedo will be the death of me. George, you look wonderful. Here, this is Graduate Hall. Yeah, quite a place. Lot of rooms lit up in there. I wonder what kind of a shindig this is. George, look out! Over here! Wait, what in the name of... Ah! Wow, a bow tie, ready! A water bag, paper sack full of water. All right, smart guy up there. Oh, yeah, Angel. Well, at least I won't be bothered by the starch in my shirt anymore. Well, for me, by the curl in my hair. Well, okay, chin up, Angel. After a few repairs, we'll join the Durfees in the dancing. And maybe we can be the death of somebody. Hello. Would you hand me that box of Kleenex, please? Water bag. You got a water bag, didn't you? Oh, they're so funny. They think they're so funny. Thanks. They're silly and so stupid. Here, I can eat that better than you can. No, no, it's all right. You won't spot your dress. Not like one girl. Got a water bag full of cold coffee. Here, I'll fix the mirror for you. No, no, please, I'm fine. What's wrong with you? Reunion. Reunion, that's all. Reunion. So that's what this party is. I guess you must be the only outsider here. The class of 30. Dear old Sievers, summer reunion, 30. Most likely to succeed. You've been crying, haven't you? Can I help? Oh, no. No most bashful girl in the class. That's what I was. How would I do anything but just keep it to myself? The wallflower's always crying in the powder room, isn't she? All the most popular girls out there. Oh, now look, please. Her name's Cynthia, as in magnolia blossoms only faded now. Cynthia, just as stuck up and brainless as it. Forgive me. Imagine talking like this at the age of 42, drooling in sympathy with myself, weeping over the same mistakes that everybody made. Oh, don't feel like that. Horrible, isn't it? Horrible. What a reunion does to people. It's sentiment and the memories, even the most likely to be happy. Well, thank you, Mrs. Brooks. Miss Brooks. Oh, Miss, of course. And not even the three. We're all a class of. I'm Betty Dursey. Mrs. Dursey, 42. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. Class of three, hey, hey. Oh, yes, they're all here. That was the star football player, that man is so fat. And over there with the glasses, man most likely to go broke. He's a bank president now. Yeah, yeah, but I'm looking for the Dursey brothers. Oh, what's that supposed to mean? Joe and Doug Dursey, most likely to be popular forever. Oh, yes, the Dursey boys are here someplace. They're always. Mr. Valentine. See what I mean? Dancing with the most beautiful girl in the class. Hello, Stinky. Sir, are you? Yes, that's right, I'm Valentine. Thank heaven you got here, boy. Stinky, would you? Oh, of course, of course. Good evening, Cynthia. You look lovely. Why, thank you, sir, as she says. Oh, sorry. This is Mr. Valentine, darling, and Mrs. Chester. Mrs. Chester? Isn't this the loveliest dance, Mr. Valentine? I was only saying that. Darling, darling, please, I'll only take a second. Valentine. I don't mind, Douglas. I'll just dance with you. No, no, I'm sorry, but don't dance with Stinky. Well, whatever on earth. Are you jealous? Really, I won't step on her toes, darling. I'm sorry, I can't explain, but just stay there a second. Thanks, darling. Well, all right. Valentine. So you are Douglas Dursey, huh? I just spotted you over there. I only got back from the golf course a few minutes ago. They tell me there's a woman named Betty Dursey, your wife by any chance? Oh, no, no, no, I'm single. She's Joseph's wife. I'll find him and we'll meet you at the golf course. Oh, I see. So what? What's the job? What's going on? Valentine, listen to me. It's the sort of job you may not like. It may seem foolish. So should Stinky's death be foolish, or mine, or Joseph's, or any other man. Hey, hey, clear it up. It's Cynthia there. Lady, I was dancing with. Don't you understand? It's my fault, mine. I know I have to say this fast, but Cynthia and I are planning to be married. Hey, I thought her name was. Yes, yes, Chester. Yes, her husband was in this class too, but he's not here tonight. Separated. And the fool. He divorced naturally. I thought there'd be. Now I don't know what to think. Oh, I get it. So that's all it is. Get yourself tangled up with a married woman, huh? You're right, Mr. Dursey. I don't like this kind of job. Ah, Valentine, Valentine, I know how it sounds, but you've got to help. Why? Why? Because it turns out to be just a case. Is it only a foolish middle-aged love triangle and the husband hires a thug? A who? Yes, yes, you heard me. Over there to keep an eye on her. I know how crazy it is, but. You mean the big guy? Yeah, that's right, the sourpuss. We thought it was only somebody's friend. Cynthia still believes he's just an attentive moose named Claude, and he's really a hired watchdog. All right, then, stay away from him. Away from her. And when I bumped into a woman, I found he's carrying a gun. Stay far away from him. That were all it was. It isn't just me, Mr. Valentine. Cynthia told my brother she was going to run away with him, with Joe. What? Never mind the moral analysis of a woman who can't forget how to flirt to destroy men's lives. She was even like that in school. The point is she's even in more danger than we are. Figure it out for yourself. Her jealous, stuffy, proud husband has finally caught on. That hired thug Claude has come here to kill her. There's no sun in the sky, stormy weather. You don't mind if I sing it to you, Mr. Valentine? No, no, of course not. It's a nice song. Oh, I like nostalgic things, don't you? Of course, you know, they played it when I was very small. You see, I'm not actually in the class of thirty. My heaven doesn't case my wrinkly showing. Sure, Mrs. Chesterton. What? Oh, I don't mean I'm hiding anything or anything. I'm probably almost as old as you are, but... Hello, Douglas. Darling, he's marvelous. Darling, keep your eyes open. What? What is it? Oh, I'm sorry. What is it? Just keep dancing. There's a guy coming. You mean Claude? Now, don't turn, sister. I wanted to see what would happen. I'm sure he won't hurt you. George, look out! All right, stop dancing this instant, both of you. Stop it. Stop what I say. Claude! Hey, hey, not so fast, Buster. Let go of her. Let go of yourself. Oh, yes, I know who you are, young man. I have heard the gossips. Slow down. Take it easy. This is going to end right now, you understand me? I can take care of your kind with one hand tight behind my back. Yes, I'm still in pretty good condition, aren't I? Not like the rest of you flabby gossiping fools. Okay, okay, condition's changed, friend. And maybe the rest of you sophomoric wolves will understand that I'm still quite capable of protecting my wife from all of you. What? Lord, for heaven's sake, I haven't seen any wolves. Be quiet, Cynthia. There's been scandalous behavior here, and you know it. All right, we're leaving. We're going home. Though I've heard what you've all whispered, all right, even about the Durfee brothers. When an old fool like Doug Durfee says that I'm losing my wife to handsomer men, then it's time to put my foot down. George Lee, stop it. Just tell me what's happened. Be quiet. Your turn will come later. But I've exposed your young boyfriend, your George Valentine. That's what I've done. Then let me tell you, I've never been so southern in my life. Oh, did you see him? Did you see him? That windbag, that fool. The biggest success of the class, and he fell like a ton of bricks. Oh, why don't you shut up, Durfee, that you was going to fall like a... Will you stop laughing? Oh, you did a beautiful job, Valentine, a beautiful job. And that Cynthia, never guess the stories Joe and I were spreading. All right, all right, all right. So it's all a practical joke. The Durfee brothers, most popular boys, the water bag kids. Oh, no, no, not that. No, no, no, no, nothing amateurish like that. We turned my sluice in the girls' gymnasium once. Oh, great. At last reunion, we mixed up the room keys and the president himself walked right in. Plus, the other kind of guys who want to be taken apart piece by piece. And you tagged me for a fall guy. So I guess I'm the one to do it, unless Chesterman gets up here to your room and beats me to it. Oh, where's your sense of humor? Here's your check. Now get out. Chesterman's liable to be here any minute, or Joe's room upstairs. Oh, brother, there are two in every class, aren't there? And so you both send me wires saying it's likely to be the death of you. Well, plus, to f- my money, I'd like to... Oh, stop it. Stop it. There's no time. That's the point. Your little sucker act was just act one. Hey, wait a minute. You mean you're not through with them yet? No. Joe and I cooked it all up right here last night. Got everything ready. Ooh, those Chesterton's have been asking for it all their lives. They're going to fix them forever. Now look, I don't think much of the Chesterton's, but I think a lot less of you. Joe and I are in love with Cynthia. Now we'll never get her. Hand me that bottle of ketchup. The ketchup, what do you mean? Yeah, shame to spoil a good shirt. Hey, that doesn't... Knife. I'm using a knife. Pretty bloody. Oh, no. I cannot live without you, by no chance. Joe's even better. I'm a failure, and without your love, I can't go on alone. Pony suicide. So that's it. Sure, the death of us. We didn't lie to you. Hand me my note. We need a top drawer there. Oh, I tell you, this is even going to top the time we stole the park bench. What note? What I wrote last night, I just told you. Ain't even better than the time we turned the morpheus in the movie. Can't live without you. We wrote it together. What's the matter? My note. Where's my... Well, it's not here. There's Joe's stuff with his two of the notes, our suicide notes. They're gone. No kidding. We wrote them last night. Put them on the desk here. Somebody must have... Little joke on the jokers for a change. You guys are so popular, and now somebody has stolen your big funny suicide notes. Oh, Joe. It's Joe. I had to break in the door for her. Mrs. Durfee. I hadn't seen him all day, but the two of them were up to something. I wanted to stop it. They're silly. Take it easy, Mrs. Durfee. I'm afraid your husband's dead, all right. Apparently he shot himself. I'm sure that's what it was. His own suicide note. I'm afraid he's dead. He's dead. He's dead. He's dead. He's dead. He's dead. He's dead. He's dead. It was his own suicide note signed right there in his hand. I'm a failure, and without your love, I can't go on alone. Joe's stolen notes. The funny, funny suicide. Only now it's a perfect murder. We'll return to tonight's adventure of George Valentine in just a moment. Why let your vacation trip be spoiled by a car that doesn't want to get started every time you're ready to take off? By a car that balks in city traffic and drags on hills. When a car does that, it's often because sticky gum is slowing down its engine. For most, raw gasoline contains impurities that form power-robbing gum. The only way to get rid of the impurities is to refine them out. Chevron Supreme is the gasoline that's super-refined to prevent power-robbing gum. That's why Chevron Supreme gives you that new car feeling. Faster starting, faster pickup, ping-free power on the longest and steepest grades. So on your vacation and during your everyday driving, ask for super-refined Chevron Supreme and enjoy that new car feeling. Another thing, Chevron Supreme gives you full mileage in the kind of driving you do. Ask for it at independent Chevron gas stations and standard stations where they say, and mean, we take better care of your car. Music And now, back to tonight's adventure of George Valentine. Class of 30, hey, hey! Summer reunion, the Class of 30. They're all here. The fated most beautiful girl, the most jealous and stuffy man, the most likely to succeed and the most likely to die. Two brothers, the Ir-Oppressables, the Perennial Jokers, the Durfee Boys, Doug and Joe, who have kept things lively through all these years. But now one of them is dead, a victim of his own practical joke. Guilty of writing a suicide note in advance and thinking it might be funny, but the suicide notes were stolen and Joe never lived to laugh. Now if your name is George Valentine, you agree with Lieutenant Riley when he says that anything can happen at a reunion. Suicide, yeah. Jerks who write their own suicide notes just to make some stuffy people look stupid. All right, all right, Riley, let's stick to the facts. What time did Joe Durfee die? Oh, four or five o'clock Saturday afternoon, maybe. The Doc's not sure. But his brother Douglas talked to him on the phone around four, so it had to be after that. Doug talked to him? Yeah, sure. The pair of them had to double-check on their cute little plan, naturally. And it was just after that that they sent those sucker telegrams to you. Yeah, yeah, sure. And the checks. Doug was out at the golf course all day. Caddy had to reach him on the 10th green. And the operator here's got a record of it, too. It's a toll call, the only one priced here from the hall. Joe was here in his room, huh? Where was his wife, buddy? Down at the bridge party with the wives downtown. Oh, no, no, pal, this case isn't going to be easy if that's what you're driving at. No, I was just wondering. Where'd the gun come from? I don't know. Probably won't know. It's just a gun,.32 revolver. He was holding it in his hand. Other hand, he had the note. Yeah, sure, sure. All the window dressing all right. It was a nice, efficient job, and it could have been one of 200 people. And no clues, huh? Well, I thought I had one. Stinky Bronson had to break down this door, remember, when the body was found. Oh, what about it? All suicides lock their doors. That's what I mean, another piece of window dressing. Because my lock expert in there says he'll absolutely swear that door was locked by someone who was leaving the room, pulled it shut after him. So I get all excited. Yeah, but my fingerprint man says whoever it was wiped the knob clean. Yeah, one of 200. Valentine, guess who had a reason for killing Joe Dirtley? Guess who hated one of the most popular boys? Guess who has had nasty, unfunny practical jokes pulled on them in the past years? Yeah, Rielly, the whole class. Just to make it a more perfect murder. Valentine, I'm not going to apologize because we never grew up. We've been told off by experts, my friend. You should have heard how Joe's wife used to be on the subject. No, I'm yokel's, no sense of humor. No sense of humor. I'm blind. I was out of the golf course all day. I know, I know. I know you didn't kill your brother. You were miles away and plenty of witnesses knew it. No, that's not what I meant. I gave a trick ball to a guy in the force and just took off and floated. That's me ever since college. You mean nobody, lad? No, a man who gives a hot foot supposed to beat the rest of the world in a punch. Class of 30s and very nice people, big men, important. And the Durfee Boys, oh, still in the hour of glory. Still way back there, 1930s. Don't let that singing carry you away. Oh, shut up. Not too easy to see yourself slip in a banana peel. If you must have it, barely a penny between us now, Joe and me. So what? So nothing. Oh, sure. In the reunions we kept it up. Most popular boys. Back in our hometown, Mr. Valentine, there was nothing. There was failures. Have a drink. Okay, so that's why you kept it up. But if I were you, I'd put the drink down, friend. There's a lot of people still here waiting to be questioned. Maybe one of them killed your brother. I said shut up. And is watching you right now because you're next. Or haven't it occurred to you that your suicide note was stolen too, that it's still missing? That you're a walking invitation to another foolproof crime. So what? Maybe I don't care. Don't you understand? George, please don't upset me. Maybe it's my final chance at a real big joke. How about that, Cynthia, most popular boy in the class? That's me. Douglas, I'm sorry. Who used to go on dates with me? Now don't turn away like that. Please, Douglas, my husband. Sure, sure, your husband. Maybe old Claude is out loading a gun for me right now. For heaven's sake. I think she's heard enough out of you for tonight, Duffy. Oh, Stinky, shut up. You're not so mad at me, are you, darling? Well, really, Douglas, I should have been warned when Betty told me about your golf ball this afternoon. Wait a minute, wait a minute, all of you. Hey, Stinky. Well, Mr. Valentine, I see no reason for our being here. I was just going to take Mrs. Jesserton to find her husband. I'm sorry, but I thought you were with Joe's wife, Betty Duffy. Well, every girl has her moment, Mr. Valentine. I was, yes. She's upstairs. Well, I just wanted to get you straight, that's all. Now, you've been around all evening, but you were with Betty when we found the body. And earlier, I remember on the dance floor, you were waiting for somebody in the powder room. George Betty was in the powder room the same time I was there. Stinky, you told me it was only this afternoon. No, no, no, no. Now, please, I don't have to explain myself. Stinky is an old bow of mine. Well, this is a reunion, Mr. Valentine. I'm afraid you'll only get yourself all wound up if you try to figure out all the association. Just the same, will you please tell me what... Joe and Betty were planning to get a divorce. Divorce? Yes, that's what I said. Well, I know when I saw her, she sounded awfully unhappy. Mrs. Chaston, what did you mean just a second ago when you said, Stinky, you told me it was only this afternoon. Well, he may be an old friend of Betty's, but he's also an old friend of mine. Oh, and my husband's too, of course. This afternoon, I said, you said he was with her when she was supposed to be at a bridge park. But they only left for a little while. 3.30 or 4.00. Oh, stop it, stop it. 3.30 or 4.00, huh? Where were you? Where did you bring her? I don't have to ask. No. I brought Betty out here. Here at Graduate Hall? It was something about the divorce. She wanted to see Joe for a minute. That's all it was. And you understand, I didn't come upstairs. I only waited in the car. Stinky. Huh? How much money did you make? What? What are you talking about, Tiffy? Valentine, my brother Joe took out a new life insurance policy just a couple of months ago. Life insurance? Tiffy, wait. Tiffy! Get out of here, get out of here! No, Senator, I've got to see her. She did it, Betty. I said get out of here! You can't see her, my friend. She's dead. Suicide. Betty Durfee. Just like Joe was. Only no notes. No, no, she didn't write one like Joe did. Durfee, I want to get something straight. That insurance. It's your idea, since Betty was up here this afternoon about the time Joe died, that she might have had her eye on his insurance. Is that right? Kill him? Using the suicide note she found? And now it looks like maybe she killed herself. Just couldn't stand what she'd done. Is that your idea? Mr. Valentine, I'm all through with ideas. Yeah, so am I. A murder and then a suicide. Both the same way. Two hundred people, everybody mixed up with everybody else. Don't you understand, Riley? Yeah. Your case is solved. Ah! It's a lot simpler than it looks, Riley. Betty was up here, we know that. She had a key so she could have gotten into Joe's room, and she could have left without leaving any fingerprints. Look, Mr. Valentine, I'm not so sure that I... If a man had shut that door you talked about, Riley, leaving the body behind to look like suicide, he would have had to intentionally wipe the doorknob. But a woman would do it by accident, wouldn't she? When she was dressed for a party, wearing gloves. Well, of course, George. Then let's suppose for one second that when she arrived in Joe's room this afternoon, it was to walk in on a body. What? Joe, I mean. Dead. No, no, stay with me. Now, stay with me. While Betty was in Joe's room, she made a telephone call to her brother-in-law. No, no, no, I had a call from Joe, not from Betty. But the golf ball, Durfee. How did Cynthia learn about your golf course gag from Betty? Unless you told it to Betty. And I remember you didn't get back in time to be with her this evening. And there was only one toll call to the golf course. No, all right, I told her. So what? Douglas here couldn't have been the one who killed his brother before she got there. He was out of the golf course all day. Riley, an insurance policy usually has a clause in it that says you can't collect on a suicide. At least if it happens in the first year or so. What are you driving at? You said Joe took out that policy just a couple of months ago. Yeah, you're catching the drift now, aren't you? I do, of course I am. Because your brother wasn't murdered, he committed suicide. Ah, sure. Yeah, that's right, Joe killed himself. He left a note, didn't he? I'm a failure, and without your love I can't go on alone. We know he was a failure, and the love he was talking about was not Cynthia's, but Betty's. Betty, who was leaving him, and probably for good reason. Valentine, those things I said now are the best. You said too much trying to hang this thing on other people. But it was the insurance all along. Because when Betty phoned you, that was the first thing you thought of. You'd collect no money. You're crazy, Valentine. And so Joe's death had to be made to look like murder. You got a bright idea and explained it to Betty on the phone. And for a while she rode along with the gag. But she wasn't standing up very well under the strain this evening. So that's when you killed it. I didn't. I didn't kill her, no. Yeah, I get it. Especially since you're probably the beneficiary. You'd collect it all. So you killed her and you figured you could make it look like she killed Joe. No, there wasn't any practical Joe plan for Cynthia and Claude. No stolen suicide notes. It was all planned for us. That's what this whole thing has been. A cash in and the kind of tricks he and Joe used to play. I'm a tyrant! Brother, and like all practical jokes, this one fell flat on its face. It was quite a frame up. Send us wires, call us in. And then all that about Cynthia and how they wrote the suicide notes the night before. Yeah, it wasn't a bad setup though, was it? Might have worked, Booksy. Doug had the background to work with. Eh, maybe he and Joe had planned to pull something like that on the Chesterton's in the past. And it might have worked if he'd called in somebody else besides you to play something. Maybe. Maybe nothing. George, I mean it. Sometimes I think you're absolutely the most... George? Mm-hmm? When you were in college, weren't you voted the most likely to something or other? You really want to know, ain't you? Oh, of course. Well, I was voted most likely to stay a bachelor. How often have you heard it said that clothes make the man? There's a lot in that statement because you automatically judge people by their appearance. People are judged, too, by the way their cars look. And here's the easiest way to keep your car clean and gleaming bright. Use Atlas Car Wash and Polish, available at independent Chevron gas stations and standard stations. Get a can of each. The car wash is a powder which you add in small amounts to water, and you rinse it off with a hose. No elbow work with a chamois is required. Then make your selection from several auto polishes. They're easy to apply, too. Give your car a clean, lustrous finish, protected against the harsh effects of sun, moisture, and wind-driven dirt. So to keep that big investment, your car, looking its best at all times, use these CarSaver products. Ask for them at standard stations and independent Chevron gas stations, where they say and mean, we take better care of your car. The night's adventure of George Valentine has been brought to you by Standard Oil Company of California on behalf of independent Chevron gas stations and standard stations throughout the West. Robert Bailey is starred as George with Virginia Gregg as Brooksy. Let George Do It is written by David Victor and Jackson Gillis and directed by Don Clark. Wally Mayer appears as Lieutenant Riley. Alan Reed was heard as Douglas. Sarah Selby as Betty. Lee Patrick as Cynthia. Larry Dobkin as Bronson. And Bill Boucher as Claude. The music was composed and presented by Eddie Dunstetter. Your announcer, John Heston. Listen again next week, same time, same station, to Let George Do It. This is the Mutual Don Lee Broadcasting System.
