Your Coca-Cola Bottler presents Claudia. Based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken. Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a Coke. And now, Claudia. Doorbell. Doorbell. I heard it. I suppose I'm to answer it. Doctor here. Howdy ma'am, howdy. Well ma'am, she's here. Who's here? Good gracious. You almost scared the life out of me. It wasn't me. I said an area word. That was a cow. Of course it was the cow. I know it was the cow. But when you answer your doorbell you don't expect to find a cow on your threshold. It would be bellowed out of countenance. What was that strange noise, Mama? There's just somebody at the door. Doorbell. What was that? What did you say? It sounded like the bellowing bull of Bastion. It isn't a bull, is it? No, no ma'am. She ain't a bull and I can prove it. It's a lady calling, David. Maybe you better come on down here and see her. Doorbell. No, no, no. She can't come in here. Hold her, man. You hold her. This is Mr. Warren, ma'am. Hold it. Now back off, ma'am. Back off the porch. Back off, ma'am. She's a right friendly cow, ma'am. Right friendly. She'll just make herself just one of the family. None of the front parlor, I hope. Hello, Mama. What's going on? Well, well, well, well, well. Look who we have here. Howdy, Sean. Howdy, Mr. Martin. Your man Fritz dropped by Matthews on his way to town this morning. Said his how your bond was finished yesterday. And there was no reason why we shouldn't bring majesty here over to you. No. What noises? Everybody disappears and all I get is noises. What is going on down there? There's a lady here selling dairy products. Oh, tell her we don't want any. Tell her we made other arrangements. Well, majesty cow, she's talking about you. You'll be the dairy arrangements the Nottons have made. Oh, David. Yeah. After she has any butter, we're best out of butter with you in the cup of butter. You better tell Mrs. Notton until majesty freshens up in a week or so. She's also fresh out of the pot. Tell her nature provides, but in her own good time. Mama, David. Oh, it's you, Mr. Tucker. I thought David was pulling my leg. He said there was a lady. Oh. Oh, you darling, you lovely darling. Watch out or she'll try and come in the pot. That's too much. Back up, back up, you sea varmint. Goddamn you, get off my toes. Mama, I'd like you to meet... I know, the new cow. You ain't been formally introduced, ma'am. This is... Long matter, majesty smoky smilax. How do you do? Or should one curtsy before majesty? Wouldn't be no less than her do. She's a champaign, she is. Yep, Danbury fan. Yes, Jared, I've wrung along her ribbons in medals. David, I thought you and Claudia were just buying a cow. I didn't realize you were acquiring a personage. All evidence that she be a personage, she be by stores, restless gambars, out of great radiant cow, one of the greatest cows of the breed. Professor Johnson, that Bob Johnson up to the college says, Bob, he says this here cow is as fine a cow as he's ever seen. Mr. Tucker, you talk as proud and possessive about this cow as if she'd have been yours, not Mr. Warren's. Well, why wouldn't I, Tudor Hawn? This here majesty cow is a pride and adornment to Fairfield County and to the state of Connecticut. She's the kind of cow that makes a man proud to be a farmer. Anyhow, Matthew's too modest a man to talk her up. Tell him about her record as a two-year-old, Jared. I'll tell him, could write a book about this cow. Don't know if it might be a lot better than some of the trash and drivel and mushy love stories that get written. Well, how about taking her back to the barn and installing her a new quarter? Ah, good idea, good idea. That's why I wanted to bring her over here myself, personally, to sort of ease her into her new surround. That's a good idea. Of course, if she's lonely, we could always invite her into the parlour. She almost barged in this morning anyway. Don't you do it, ma'am. Give an animal a foot and she'll take an ale. You let her come in once and you'll spoil her. She'll always want to be in. We'll remember that, Mr. Tucker. That calf one winter, nursed in the kitchen. Growed up, we had the dangest time keeping her out. Got herself a taste for apple pies. Ha ha ha. To all my sister's stucks, she did. There was no more apple pies until I broke the cow her havoc. Yes, you have to be firm with her. I didn't realize there was so much to keeping a cow. Look, Claudia and David, I'll go back to the house and stay with Bobby until Fritz and Bertha get back to the booth. A nice vine you got yourself fixed up, Mr. Norton. Yeah, sure is a nice vine. Oh, there ain't no finer in town. I overseed her fixing. Yeah, I hear you tell you got yourself some mail-order extensions and fancy drinking bowls. Them patented automatic salt blocks. Cow gets hankering for salt, all she's got to do is want, and there's the salt block right to hand to wrap her tongue around. Here, I'll open the door for you. Well, well, I'll be. Yes, sir, I'll be. You'll be what, Mr. Warren? I'll be dumbfounded when I get around to catching my breath. No, sir, there ain't no cow wouldn't be happy in a home like this. Well, it's sort of scientific, but it isn't fancy. You know, the State College ain't no one with, no one with better. Look, there's a nice cabin pen and four stanchions in the room for a lot more. Oh, we're only going to keep one car, Mr. Warren. That's what you think. Mr. Norton's a far-sighted man. I knew a couple of young marriage, got themselves a three-room house because it was going to have their shelves only one baby. And? And. They had themselves eleven, a whole herd of youngins. Mercy. No, far-sighted man builds to accommodate the future. I suppose if Majesty had a calf... A heifer. A what? A heifer. That's a female, woman calf. Oh, well, if Majesty has a heifer... Heifer. That's what I said, if Majesty has a heifer calf, we'd probably keep her, but we'd never keep more than two calves. And not forgetting that the two will have cows. And not forgetting my little allegory of the family with eleven children. Well, eleven is a good round number. I'll lay you a wager the day comes young David Norton looks at himself and says, here I am, a man with a double life. A what? A double life. I got me a profession of architecture, got me a herd of cows, a house divided to leeks on happiness. Come on boss, you get through that door. And? And somebody else will be building the building, son. You'll be a farmer. Come on cow, a push from your end, Matthew. She doesn't seem to want to go in. Yeah, critters be critters of habit, we be. It's a strange place and she's too big. The place isn't nice enough for her? It's nice enough ma'am, just different. You got to think things through these cows do and cows think slow. You don't suppose she expects to be carried over the threshold like a new bride does? Cows can be the most honorary cantankerous critters we never mind being. Patience does it. Shubble is, a man ain't got as much time to be patient with as a cow. My pa, my pa, would it give her a twist and she'd be through that door like a shot. Give her a what? You grab the cow's tail, aim the critter, and then you twist it and you're where you ought to be. But it must hurt. No, don't hurt at all. Just the cow don't like it so she goes somewhere else where she's aimed. Well it sounds very cruel. No, no, it ain't cruel, it ain't cruel at all. I'm the last man who would be cruel to a critter. You just hold him so and stand aside Matthew. Just give him a little... Ha, Derek, did you twist Majesty's tail? Did, did I what? Now, Matthew... Twist her tail, she stampede it all over me and trampled my foot. Well, suppose we say she got a sudden idea. Look at there. She's standing in her stall as contented as if she'd always been there. Close her stanchion, son, before she changes her mind and gets out. Yeah, Matthew let her settle down, Mr. Norton, for an hour or two. We'll all go away and leave her and let her get used to things. I think you'd hate giving her up, Mr. Warren. One cow, another cow, they just treat her as... Don't pay to squander any emotions on them. Just something to buy and sell. Only a fool gets sentimental about an animal. Come on, let's get off and leave her. You got a leadin' heart to Jared? No, you left it over the stanchion. Here, I'll get it, Mr. Warren. Natter, don't bother, son. You all go ahead. I'll just step back and get it. All right, we'll wait for you, Matthew. I suppose when you raise a lot of animals, you can't afford to get attached to them. Good-bye, girl. You see, I found you a nice home. A man likes cowdyns, and you'll teach him a lot about good ones. It's hard to cut a big block of New England granite without getting a soft spot in it. That's very true. Through an understanding observation, son. The old man's just standin' there patting a cow. Now he's nuzzling his head against her head. Let's walk ahead. There's some things you don't eavesdrop on. Darling, and you won't be far away. Just next farm, next pasture, and I'll be seeing you, and you'll be seeing me. Of course, just with ordinary animals, man's a fool to get his feelings tangled up with them. But cows is different. And pigs, pigs, pigs is different. Well, good-bye, Miss Natter. Miss Natter. Gotta be getting back to my farm. Got work to do. Funny thing, the hay must be dusty. Started to choke my throat up and got in my eyes. I feel a little choked up, too, Mr. Warren. I'll walk along with you, Matt. You won't keep company. Thank you, Jerry. I'll try to take good care of Majesty, Mr. Warren. Maybe we'll raise some Jersey cows. It'll make you glad and proud that you let us have Majesty as our first. She'll be in good hands, son, and I wouldn't have sold her to you. Eh? Good-bye. You'll be seeing me. Good-bye, you two Norton. Good-bye. He couldn't have been more upset if he'd sent a child of his out into the world. There's a pretty soft spot in old Jerry Tucker, too. Walking home with Warren to keep him company. If you want gentleness in a man, pick a strong and a tough one. She's lonely. Um, look, maybe, uh, maybe we'd better go back and see her. What are you smiling at? Nothing. Why are you looking at me like that? I'm just looking at a strong man and a very sweet one. Come on. Let's go back and hold Majesty's hand. Oh. Oh. Oh. Shopping can be a bore or an interesting adventure. It depends largely on how you feel. One good way to keep yourself in the adventure frame of mind is to stop at the Coca-Cola cooler between times. You'll find Coke around the corner from anywhere, ready to help you shop refreshed. Howdy, son. Well, I see you and Mr. Warren got to Norton's new cow install in their barn. Yep. Get Matthew quite a twinge to say good-bye to that cow. Come the parting moment, he hated to see her leave his farm. It was a right nice thing of you to walk along with him. Oh, sucks. Costs nothing. Men got feelings, too, son. Say, did you hear tell if the Norton's are driving into city tomorrow? Well, I understand they are. I have a mind to hitch a ride with them. You got business in the big city, Jared? And I got that I got. Sounds important. Oh, stop nosing. It is important, son. It's personal. I aim to keep it personal. I like you, son, but I think you're a blabbermouth. I have a feeling what I tell you gets blabbed all over the country. What I got to do in the city, I wouldn't tell no living soul, would I? Sounds mysterious. Well, good luck to whatever it is. And I'll be in town tomorrow myself, so I may be seeing you. It'll be a pleasure, son. It'll be a pleasure. So long now. So long, Jared. Every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again tomorrow at the same time. And now this is Joe King saying au revoir. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola. For Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes. And ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere. The parts of Jared Tucker and Matthew Warren are played by Cameron Andrews and Stuart McIntosh. This broadcast of Claudia was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney. Now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola.