Your Coca-Cola Bottler presents Claudia, based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken, brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. Relax, and while you're listening, refresh yourself. Have a Coke. And now, Claudia. It'll be right in. What lovely having music with one's dinner, isn't it, Claudia? That's musical music, too, David. Are you complaining? Complaining, Mama? Why should I say not? A singing maid? Why not? There was a time when singing waiters were all the rage. You may not remember, David, but I do. Oh, Mother. Your long white beard is showing. Anyway, she may not have a beautiful voice, but otherwise, our Gertrude is a pearl. A pearl in the rough. That is a diamond. Or a chicken. Roughly speaking, I think the chicken Gertrude prepared was delicious. I'm stuffed. That was chicken. I wonder what Gertrude's concocted for dessert. It's probably concocted. Something stupendous. If you two aren't eating food, you're talking about it. Dinner table conversation, Mama. Do you mind? Well, it's not all there is in life. Oh, but it's such fun. Would you rob us of such a simple pleasure? Hush up. You heard your mother, Claudia. Hush up. I didn't say anything. No more discussion about food. Check? Check. Thank goodness that settled. Now, Mrs. Naughton, you may tell me what you think our dessert will be. A souffle, maybe. Or a pie? Gertrude doesn't look like a souffle to me. Does she to you? No, Worse Luck. She looks like a rhubarb pie. Oh, no. Not again. Oh, rhubarb pie is very healthy, Mother. I don't eat to be healthy. A terrible mistake, Mother. It's enough I have to eat a raw carrot at every meal since Gertrude came. Are you complaining, Mother? Of course she is, David. She resents not being the boss around here any more. Well, of course, of course. Mama likes to know what's cooking in the kitchen, David. But since Monday when Gertrude took over, she hasn't been allowed in. I smell apples. I bet it's going to be an apple pie. I bet you 20 cents. It's a deal. Shake. Shake. You're both wrong. It's apple dumplings. It is? Wonderful. You like apple dumplings? I love them. Oh, I do too. I've never eaten them. I only hope you two aren't contagious. There ought to be one sensible person around here. There isn't. Oh, yes, Gertrude is sensible. Even her shoes are. I hate sensible shoes. They reflect personality. Here she comes. Too bad you had to wait, but I'm not used to electric stoves yet. It's only baked apples. Hope they bake through. I'm sure they are. Can't be too sure, but an apple a day it is. Raw, baked, or mashed. They look delicious. Baked apples have such character. More milk for anyone? No, thanks. Demi-tassie of coffee, Mrs. Brown? No, thank you, Gertrude. Not tonight. Pardon me, Mrs. Norton, but I thought you ought to know I'm doing the closets tomorrow. The closets? I like to wash them out with ammonia every now and then. Oh, oh, oh, of course. Then I'll take everything out of the closets and start bright and early. Well now, I'll get to my dishes. She certainly is efficient. She certainly is. Yes. Mama, how's your baked apple? It's baked enough. So's mine. She's a very good cook, too. Yes, excellent. We're all going to be so very healthy, so very, eating all the right things. I hate all the right things. You just don't know how lucky you are to have Gertrude coming in to help out. She's so efficient. That's bad. Everything's getting so done about the house, there's nothing for me and Mama to do. I don't know how you feel, but I'm delighted. Then why did you complain all afternoon that if you knit another stitch, you'll go mad? You're imagining things. Now let's go to the living room, darling. Delighted. Oh, coming, Mama? I think I'll go up to my room. What for, for heaven's sake? Not for heaven's sake, for a little sleep. I think I'll turn in early tonight. Sleepyhead. David, have you ever heard of such a thing? No, not for a long time. If you decide not to be snooty any more, Mama, come on down. I will see you in the morning. Good night. Good night. You know, I've never known any woman I'd rather have had as a mother. You're the son she never had, David. Even a little of the husband she lost. That was a nice thing to say. You're a nice husband to love. Come on. Here's my lap. Here's me. Oh. Oh, now listen, I'm not that. I should say so. Well, now what are you going to do? Read the farm bulletin, I hope. Oh, how dull for me. David. Shh. This is important. What? I'm thirsty. Then get off of my lap and get yourself a glass of water. I can't get myself a glass of water. Why not? Gertrude doesn't like anybody in the kitchen when she's working. Whose house is this? Gertrude's or ours? It used to be ours. But since last Monday when Gertrude came... Yeah, go on. I've got a confession to make. Make ahead. I'm tired of rhubarb pie and an apple a day. And the house is so neat I can't find anything. And Gertrude's so cheerful all the time. Isn't it awful? She's in my hair, too. Oh, darling, you're so satisfactory. It's just that she's around all the time. I know. Well, what do you want to do about her? Well, I don't like to hurt her feelings. And she has worked very hard. There must be a way to let her go and still not hurt her feelings. You won't mind? On the contrary. I'll let her go and tell her then. You will tell her then. Oh, dear. But anyway, she's got the house so clean... we won't need another maid for weeks. None of that. We'll start looking for one right now. It'd be nice and relaxing to be alone for a change. Besides, Gertrude is really wasting her talents around here. We don't appreciate her. That's the whole thing. We just don't. We ought to write her a letter of recommendation. Shouldn't we, hm? Go ahead. Write it. Dear to whoever it may concern, I will begin. You will not. You'll say, dear to whom it may concern. Oh, that sounds so formal. If I'm going to give my maid away to somebody, I don't have to be so formal with them. It's quite a bond between us, isn't it? If I thought... if I thought for a moment that you were serious... Yes? Go ahead with your letter now. Then what do you say? Then I say, dear whoever it may concern, this is to recommend to you Gertrude Hanson, widow. Mrs. Hanson is an excellent cook, a thorough housekeeper... And a student of nutrition. That's believing in raw carrots and apples and prunes, isn't it? Especially prunes. Unfortunately, it is. Mrs. Hanson is also efficient... Works with initiative and energy... Does laundry and ironing. And let's see, is there anything else? Anything else? What else is there? Gertrude sounds like quite a person, doesn't she? She sounds terrific. With a letter like that, she'll be grabbed up in a minute. In a second. David, how can Gertrude be so wonderful and we still don't want her? Well, now let me see. I'll have to think about that. Oh, I know. What? We are crazy. I guess we are. But I understand this, don't you? At times, at times. Is this one of them? Anyway, I don't feel so terrible about letting her go, seeing as... In complete honesty, we can write such a very nice letter about her, do you? I catch the drift. You know, it's funny, isn't it? In spite of everything, Gertrude is not for us, is she? Well, I'm not going to discuss it anymore. We've made up our mind now. Gertrude goes. How am I going to tell her? Oh, that's your problem. Now, now I'm going to read my paper. So... I certainly hope we're doing the right thing. Shh! That letter I'm going to write sounds so wonderful. No, no, I'll tell Gertrude tomorrow. She just isn't for us. David. Hey, David. What? See if there are any ads for maids in the paper. All right, all right, all right. Then we'll have some peace. It's the deal. All right. Let's see. What are you... Here's one for... Let's see, guess, guess... No, no, she's not right. Why not? No children. No children? Well, she'd be fine for us for a month. Mm-hmm. Here's another. No, I don't think you'd do either. You know, there aren't many ads for maids wanting jobs. No. Mostly jobs wanting maids. Yeah. Here's one that sounds pretty good. Read it, read it. Cook and general house worker. Not afraid of work, kind and willing. Efficient at all branches of housekeeping. Will live out. Loves children and animals. Wonderful. Excellent personal references from last employer. Write box YBC. David, she sounds too good to be true. She's for us. For us? Well, I don't have to hear one other word about her. I don't care what she looks like or anything. I'm going to write a letter to box YBC immediately. Hey, don't you want to interview her first? With those recommendations, what could be wrong with her? Why, she'll be snapped up in no time. Say, maybe I ought to send a telegram instead of a letter. Well, don't, don't rush into anything. Well, these days you've got to rush into it. You can't afford to let a good person go. This wonder is a bonanza, pure and simple. Gertrude is a bonanza. She certainly is. Pure, but not so simple. Gertrude? What are you talking about? Gertrude. She's the bonanza. You are not making any sense. Or are you? I are. You mean you just made up the ad? It's not in the paper at all? Let me see. There's nothing to see. It's just our Gertrude. That was a nasty joke to play, getting me all excited about a maid that doesn't exist and made so hard to get. No, but she does exist. She's ours for the asking. We don't even have to send her a telegram. David, do you think we should... I think we should think it over. When you talk about her, she sounds so wonderful. When you have to live with her... The garbage is out, the dog and the cat fed, and there's some hot fat on the stove, so be careful. We won't go near it. There's a glass of sauerkraut juice in the icebox for Mrs. Norton to drink before she goes to bed. Thank you, Gertrude. David, you love it, you know. Half is for you, darling. There's carrot juice for him. Gertrude has everything all planned, darling. The best-named plans of mice and men. Well, see you all in the morning. Bright and early. Gotta get in them closets. David, quickly, before it's too late and I change my mind, let's hire Gertrude. All right. All right, we'll hire. Now, now kiss me. And let me read my paper. Say, David... Now what? Do you think... Do you think we ought to give her a raise? Coming from such a nice place as us, I mean. HUMMING Are you on the entertainment committee for your club party? Are you planning any affairs at home? Better put Coca-Cola at the very top of the list when you start writing down what you need. Coke is such a universal favorite, and it costs so little, it's so no wonder so many people rely upon it as the very basis of hospitality. You've heard the phrase, where there's Coke, there's hospitality, and truly it seems to work out that way. Offer ice-cold Coca-Cola to your guests and see. So Gertrude stays. Not only stays, but with a raise. Well, in her own way, she deserves it. Gertrude's quite a bit of maid to have around the house. It's either too much or too little. In this case, too much maid is better than too little maid. Gertrude is a real gem these days. And every gem has its flaw. Really? Well, that's one we haven't discovered yet. You'll discover it tomorrow night when Mr. Killian and a thunderstorm both come for dinner. That's quite a combination. Well, indeed, perhaps even too much of a combination for the good Gertrude. Well, I certainly want to find out what happens, so I'll be here tomorrow. Goodbye, Mr. King. Goodbye, Mrs. Brown. As I was about to say, every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. We'll listen again tomorrow at the same time. And now this is Joe King saying au revoir. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola. For Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes. And ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere. These programs star Catherine Bard as Claudia and Paul Crabtree as David. And the entire production was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney. And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola.