The Irene Dunn Fred McMurray Show. Starring Irene Dunn as Susan, and Fred McMurray as George. Together in a gay new exciting comedy adventure, right star. Yes, it's the Irene Dunn Fred McMurray Show. Starring Irene Dunn as Susan Armstrong, owner and editor of the Hillsdale Morning Star, and Fred McMurray as George Harvey, the paper star reporter. And as we join our two stars, it looks as though George is all set for a quiet, stay at home evening at Susan's home. Quiet evening? Well, you never can tell. When they begin, they begin. Hi, patients. Ms. Armstrong home? Silly question, isn't it? Of course she is. We have a date. Come in, Mr. Harvey. Ms. Susan is in the living room. Alone and waiting? Patiently I take it. Waiting the piano. Mr. Harvey, I... No, I just can't ruin that big happy smile. Peculiar, but no more than usual. Well... On the road to Manila... What is that? Where the flying fishes fly... And... Well, speaking of fishes, Susan, look what just swam in. Hiya, Georgie, old buddy, old buddy. George, you know Elwood Bray. George, Elwood. I know Elwood, Susan. Not proud, not happy, but I know him. Just warming up the old town, since when you came in, Georgie. But sit right down. We don't mind, do we, Susan? Elwood and I were just talking over old times, George. You know, Susan, I went together for a long time, Georgie. No, I haven't the slightest interest in the matter, Elwood. All right, I'll tell you all about it. Oh, I got a bad time, Susan. I should never go out without a gun. Childhood sweethearts, Susan and I. Childhood sweethearts. Right, Susan? Well... And even though every so often someone else comes along, I always come back to my Susan. Oh, that's big of you, Elwood. Now, if you don't mind, I... Oh, the times we've had. I feel for you, Georgie boy. I shouldn't ask this, but why? Why, the miserable life you must have had before you came to Hillsdale. Oh, I don't know. George was a very successful reporter in New York before he came here, Elwood. Oh, sure. Elwood, for your information, I led a very full and satisfying social life in New York. Poor lonely fellow. Now, Elwood, George, stop it. It may just interest you to know, Elwood, that I was fortunate enough to be on intimate terms with some very famous people. Oh, in with the society and theatrical, said I imagine. As a matter of fact, I won. Oh, sure. Well, sure, we can take George's word for it, Elwood. Naturally, naturally. He knew every actress in New York. Just about? I saw a very attractive girl in the paper today. Ah, here she is. Sonny Knight. You knew her, of course, George. Sonny Knight? Yeah. Really, this whole discussion is entirely pointless. Oh, Sonny Knight, of course. We're old friends. You're, you're sure, Georgie? Of course I'm sure. Good old Sonny. Almost wish I were in New York so I could look her up again. You won't have to go to New York, Georgie. I won't? No. Sonny is opening right here in town with a review tomorrow. She is? Oh, what's the matter, George? Nothing. Not a thing. Good old Sonny. Well, we'll have to make up a big party so George can introduce us to his friend, Susan. Ah, how about tomorrow night, George? Fine. Dandy. I don't think I can make it. What would your friend be expecting you, George? Well, if you're going to start taking sides with Elwood, Susan... Taking sides about what? You know what. And furthermore... Susan, either Elwood Gray goes or I go. George, I just got asked Elwood to go. All right, all right. You've made your choice. Good night. George! Well, I guess I showed them. I wonder if they'll miss me. What time did Elwood check out last night, Miss Susan? About 12 patients. Oh dear, I guess I'll have to apologize to George this morning. Why? Why? Because of the way Elwood ruined our date. And then he needled poor George into bragging about knowing a girl he obviously didn't know at all. Oh, why don't you let George simmer a while? You really think I should? Well, I think George needs a little competition. After all, that's the backbone of our economy. Well, George has been getting into sort of a rut lately. A rut? He's practically out of sight. You might be right, Patience. It's bad enough when they act like that after they're married. Then there's nothing you can do about it. Well, I'll see what I can do about shaking them up. Good. Oh, but I hate to do it. Our relationship's been so happy lately. Miss Susan, as long as he's happy, nothing is going to happen. Nothing. That sure is a sad story about Elwood brain, Mr. Harvey. It was a harrowing experience, Sammy. What are you going to do about sunny night? Nothing, Sammy. Nothing at all. Oh, good morning, Susan. Oh, good morning, George. Sammy. Hi, Miss Armstrong. Oh, about last night, George. Yes? Elwood was terribly sorry you couldn't stay. We had such a good time later on. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Elwood was terribly sorry you couldn't stay. We had such a good time later on. Oh, as well. Ha, ha, ha. Elwood was so amusing. What did he do? Fall down the stairs? Oh, George. Ha, ha. And he reserved a table at the Ming Room for tonight. That's where your Miss Knight's with you is playing, isn't it? But Elwood just insisted on making a party of it. Big hearted Elwood. Ha, ha, ha. Then you'll join us there, George, huh? Oh, wonderful. On the road to Mandalay. Things don't look so good, Mr. Harvey. They look swell, Sammy. After all, there's always the river. Well, maybe I can help out. I'm seeing the manager of Miss Knight's review today. Sure. I heard from their publicity, man, the show's looking for outstanding local talent prior to an extended Broadway run. Mr. Harvey, my trumpet. I've been taking lessons for over six weeks. Maybe I can fix you up with Miss Knight. Thank you, Elsa Maxwell. Well, I'll let you know. And in the meantime, don't do anything desperate. You really care, Sammy? Well, sure. Besides, you owe me five bucks till payday. All right, all right, Sonny. Sit down and rest. You don't like my new routine, Max? Sonny, how much can you do with a tap dance? A fine time to tell me after I base my career on it. I could have gone in for opera, you know, or play in the harp. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Max, is the show still broke? We don't make enough out of this booking for bus fare to Nowhereville. Oh, couldn't we promote some fresh money so we could dress up the acts and... Honey, honey, the day of the great American soccer has passed. Somebody got to him first and cleaned him. The collector of internal revenue. Oh. Come in. Excuse me, but is this where you're trying out new acts for Broadway? Sorry, no midgets today. Maybe tomorrow. I'm not a midget. I play the trumpet. Well, you should have been a midget. It's quieter. Oh, let's listen to him, Max. I think he's cute. Thanks. I think you're cute, too. Hey, kid, before this breaks out in a flame, maybe you better play trumpet, huh? Sure. I brought it with me. Oh? I thought it was a gun. The flight of the bumblebee. Great, but... Six weeks ago, I couldn't play a note. Oh, you must have been a very nice kid. Listen, honeybee. Yes? You wouldn't happen to know anybody in this town with any loose, quick cash, would you? Well, I know Mr. George Harvey. He's an old friend of Miss Knight's from New York. Loaded? I don't remember any George Harvey, Max. Honey, you can remember him if he's loaded, can't you? He's going to be at your opening tonight. Hey, if you want me to, I'll come and stand by his table so you'll know him. Kid, there is more to you than meets the eye. Talent! Max, I tell you, I don't remember any George Harvey. Sonny, if he remembers you, the least you can do is remember him. But... George Harvey, L-O-D-E-D, loaded. Now do you remember. Oh, George Harvey! Oh, sure! You know, he sounds like a very nice fella. You're all set, Mr. Harvey. When I walk in and stand by your table, Miss Knight will come over and remember you. Sammy, you show flashes of genius. Sure. What a blow to Elwood Bray. How'd you do it, Sammy? In some way, they got the impression you had money, Mr. Harvey. Oh, well, that was not strictly honest, Sammy. I didn't say so directly. Just the same, Sammy, this will weigh on your conscience. Unless... Unless what, Mr. Harvey? I am going to make an honest man out of you. Give me another five till payday. Good evening, George. Susan, where's Elwood? Oh, well, at the last minute he had to work late at the plant. May I sit down? Yes, of course. Thank you. Well, no Elwood, huh? No Elwood. Are you sorry? No. Susan. Yes? Elwood doesn't really mean anything to you, does he? Not... not really, George. And as long as this is confession time, how about you and Sonny Knight? Sonny Knight? You want to know something, Susan? I don't even know her. You want to know something? I really didn't think you did. You didn't think I could go for her type, did you? George, I hope we're being absolutely honest with each other. Absolutely. All right, George. I believe you. Good. And Susan... Hi, Mr. Stroum. Hi, Mr. Harvey. Oh, hello, Sammy. Well, Sammy, what are you doing here? Oh, just wandering by. You know how it is, huh, Mr. Harvey? Yes. Sammy, X-Nay, Amscray, Edith Bay. Don't worry, Mr. Harvey. As soon as Miss Knight sees me, I'll eat. Sammy, you don't understand. Get lost. Things have changed. Fall down. Everything's okay, Mr. Harvey. She's sorry. George, what are you two muttering about? It really doesn't matter. It... What the hell? Isn't it a small world? George Harvey. I just hope your lady friend is broad-minded, George, because I just can't help myself. Pucker off. Oh, now wait, please, Miss Knight. Please. Look at this mess of old people. George Garvey. Harvey, Harvey, like the rabbit. Susan, I don't want you to get the wrong idea about this. It's all very simple. I can see that, George. You remember Max, my manager, Georgie. Hiya, Georgie boy. Been hearing great things about you. Great. Well, that's swell. Susan, this Miss Armstrong, Miss Knight. Miss Armstrong is a very close friend of mine. Shall we just say an acquaintance, George? Oh, he sure has a way with us poorer girls, Miss Armstrong. Remember those moonlight nights at Coney Island, Georgie? Coney Island? Still the same shy old George, Sonny. And our act. Did George ever tell you about our act, Miss Armstrong? What act? We never worked on any act. Oh, now don't hold back your hidden talent on my account, George. But I'm trying to... Just mention my name in Sheboygan. Sheboygan? Hey, get the reading on that line, Sonny. Sheboygan. Dynamite. Oh, a talent like his belongs to the world. Don't you agree, Miss Armstrong? I certainly do. And as far as I'm concerned, the world can have it anytime. Susan. Sammy, will you take me home? Sure, Miss Armstrong. But... What do you think? Sammy, do me a favor. Get off my side. The End And now back to our two stars, Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray, and the second act of our story. As usual, Fred, that is George, has managed to get himself in much trouble with Irene, Susan. And as usual, things are getting no better fast. Hi, Mr. Harvey. My friend, Sammy. Well, what's the matter? Didn't I pick you up with Sonny Knight? Just tell me one thing, Sammy. Did you or did you not explain to Miss Armstrong last night the truth about this whole affair? Answer yes or no. No. Swell. Well, I would have, Mr. Harvey, but she said she wasn't interested and would prefer some other topic of conversation. Oh. So what did you talk about? Stamp collecting. That must have been brilliant. Well, it wasn't easy. Neither one of us collects stamps. Now, listen, Sammy. When Miss Armstrong comes in this morning, you explain to her how this all came about, you hear? You mean I should tell her the truth? Exactly, Sammy. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. That's always the best policy. Gee, this is a whole new approach. Here she comes now, Sammy. Well, good morning, Sammy. Hi, Miss Armstrong. Hi, Miss Armstrong. Good morning, George. Susan, Sammy has something to say to you. Yes? Miss Armstrong, speaking on behalf of Mr. Harvey, I just want to say to you... Listen, Sammy, nothing you have to say on behalf of Mr. Harvey would be of the slightest interest to me. Well, sure, Miss Armstrong, but you see, I was the one who arranged with Sonny Knight... And furthermore, Sammy, you must convey to Mr. Harvey my low opinion of him for trying to involve you in his intrigues with chorus girls. You want to answer that, Mr. Harvey, or should I? First of all, Susan, I am not intriguing with anyone. That's right, Miss Armstrong. Mr. Harvey was just an innocent dude. Sammy, no coaching please. And will you tell Mr. Harvey, Sammy, that he is at perfect liberty to carry on with whatever type he chooses at any time at all? Carry on? Just how do you describe your conduct with Elwood Bray, Miss Armstrong? Elwood Bray may not have your talent, George, a wide circle of friends, but he is at least truthful and reliable. And boring. Good point, Mr. Harvey. Oh, really, George, I see no point in prolonging this. And I suppose you intend to go on seeing old school Charm Elwood? It's quite possible. I suppose you'll be working on your act with Miss Knight. It's quite possible. In fact, I might even go to New York with the show, if you could spare me from the paper, that is. Oh, well, that won't be easy, George. Well, in that case... But naturally, I can't stand in your way. Talent such as yours belongs to the world. Let me know when you're leaving. Susan, I... What do I do now, Sammy? Easy. Just go to Miss Knight and convince her you're not rich. That way you won't have to go to New York. Oh. Sammy, you know that sounds almost sensible. Why didn't I think of that? Well, there's an answer, Mr. Harvey, but I'm your friend. Sometimes, Sammy, I wonder. Well, Mr. Harvey, come in. It's Harvey. Oh. Sonny, Miss Knight. Sonny. Sonny, I have something to say to you. You and Max. Oh, well, Max isn't here. Did you come to work on our act, George? Well, not exactly. It's just that I'm not in the mood for a show. Oh, well, I'm not in the mood for a show. Oh, well, I'm not in the mood for a show. Oh, well, I'm not in the mood for a show. Oh, well, I'm not in the mood for a show. Oh, well, Max isn't here. Did you come to work on our act, George? Well, not exactly. You see, I'm afraid you have a false impression about me. I do? I'm afraid so. And when you know the truth, you'll have a different feeling toward me altogether. You're married. Married? Well, no, no, but that isn't the big thing. By the fellas, maybe, but by the girls, there's nothing bigger. But... George. Yes? I'm a girl. Well, I noticed that, but... But what? I thought we covered everything. The fact is, Sonny, I'm afraid you have the impression that I have money. You don't? No, no. That does make a difference, doesn't it? No. You see? Now, the way this thing came about... You said no? Look, George, all my life I wanted to like somebody for himself. Somebody honest. But... now, wait. You're honest, George. Why, once I went with a fella for five years before I found out he was flat broke and married besides. Well, but... You wanted to tell me everything before we teamed up. Oh, I appreciate that, George. But I'm afraid that I... I'll let Max find somebody else with money. But I haven't got talent either. George, are you kidding? This is the last time I take any advice from Sammy. Good evening, Patience. Well, Mr. Harvey, quite a stranger. Come in. Well, you know how it is, Patience. Show business. Is Miss Armstrong in? Well... Out with Elwood Bray. Well, it's no more than I deserve. I just dropped in to say goodbye. Oh, you're going somewhere, Mr. Harvey? Sonny and I are doing our act tomorrow at the club, and after that I'll be leaving town. Well, I just hope you get away in time. Oh, oh my goodness, you mean you're traveling with the show? Show business. A lonely life, Patience. Mr. Harvey, does the manager of your show know about Elwood Bray? What about Elwood? Well, he sings after a fashion, and his father owns a factory. I don't think it would be too hard to get him on the program tomorrow night. Oh, you mean I could show him up? Sure, show him up in front of Miss Armstrong. And then when she begs you to stay in Hillsdale, you can graciously give in. Say, that might work at that. Patience, you may have saved my life. It's a big responsibility, but I'll accept it. Good night, Mr. Harvey. Good night, Patience. And thanks. Has he gone, Patience? Sure, Miss Susan, and he took our advice. Good! Miss Susan, why do things between you two have to be so complicated? Why? Well, it's just that George is... just George, that's all. Now that I think it over, I see your point. Thank you, thank you, Patience. And in presenting our review tonight, we have privilege to have with us two of your own very good friends from Hillsdale, Mr. Elwood Bray. Thank you, thank you everybody. Sit down, Elwood, quit hamming it up. And Mr. George Hart, proving once again that talent is where you find it. And now, and now the dramatic voice of Elwood Bray. The dramatic voice of Elwood Bray. How corny can you get? Be quiet, George. Elwood might be quite good. People always said he missed his calling. Yeah, he should have been a hog caller. Shh, now, he's ready to sing. You've got your opinion and I've got mine. Come you back to Vandalai. Vandalai. Oh, brother, why doesn't he just beat it to death with a stick? You ought to keep still. Shh. And their cattle is chomping, running through the curlers of life. George! Sorry, Elwood, some coward was trying to escape. That was nice, Elwood. You were very well received. Well, thank you, Susan. Well received. It was received like the bubonic plague. Oh, I don't know. I thought I held the audience very well. You didn't hold them, you stunned them. Them has died fast, we're the lucky ones. Well, of course you'll do much better, Georgie boy. Will I? Where's Sonny? It must be time for us to go on. Oh, George, buddy, Max induced me to put a little money into this review. I am now one of the owners. Well, congratulations, Eichfeld. But if you don't mind, my looking for my partner. George, sit down, George. It's better for you to hear this sitting down. Hear what? Well, as one of the new owners, I gave Sonny the evening off. We figured you could go on alone, George. You what? But I can't do the number alone. You know that, Elwood. Oh, sure you can. You're loaded with talent, George kid. And if you get lonely out there, I'll drop a tray. Elwood, you're a very mean young man. And now that other bundle of homegrown talent, Hillsdale's own George Harvey. I can't go on. Hillsdale's own George Harvey. Go get him, George. Susan, help me. Why, George, you mean you want me to take the place of the glamorous Sonny Knight? Susan, if you help me out, I swear I'll never mention New York or Sonny Knight or my stage talent, anything. Hillsdale's own George Harvey. Susan. All right, George, I just can't bear to see a grown man cry. Look, if you don't know the words, it's common or anything. Oh, I know. Just mention my name in Sheboygan. It's the greatest little town in the world. That's good. Just tell them all you're a good friend of mine. And every door in town will have a big welcome sign. Mention my name in Sheboygan. But if you ever get in a man. A man? Yes. Just mention my name. He said mention his name. But please don't tell him my address. He hates policemen. Please don't tell him my address. A square from nowhere. Please don't tell him my address. Just mention my name in Azusa. Azusa. Away out where the oranges grow. Tell everybody in Southern Cal that you're a friend of mine, a really great big pal. Oh, I will. Mention my name in Azusa. But if you ever get in a jam. Just mention my name. She said my henshin her name. But please don't tell him where I am. She goes for grapefruit. Please don't tell him where I am. She is Miami. Please don't tell him where I am. Hey, Susan, you were wonderful. Oh, thank you, George. A good sunny night. Oh, you're better. Well, Susan, with a little practice. You've got kind of a habit of hogging the mic. But with a little practice. You and I could go on the road and get some experience. And then head for the big town and. George. Oh, yes. Well, I guess it's like they say. Yes, there's no business like newspaper business. Sure, sure. That's right. You always know best, Susan. Why, George, do you really mean that? No. But right at the moment, what else can I say? Oh. Our stars, Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray, will be here. And then we'll be back in just a moment. Susan. Yes, George. Are you sure Elwood isn't going to drop in tonight? I know it's just my imagination, but I keep hearing the road to Mandalay. Well, I don't think he'll be here, George. But with Elwood, you never can tell. If it wasn't for him, that whole mess would never have started. Or for you. I hold Elwood responsible. Isn't there some way you can keep him out of this house? Isn't there? Well, I can't very well do that, George. After all, I'm single and Elwood's single. We're old friends. I hate him. Of course, if this house were our house. Our house? Yours and mine. Then you wouldn't have Elwood barging in on your date. Susan, you mean. Hmm. There must be some other way. That is. Well, anyway, I tried. Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray will be back next week in another exciting comedy adventure in the gay new series, Bright Star. This is Wendell Niles inviting you to join us then. Thank you. Thank you.
