THE TNOISE INTIMATE The World Adventurers Club again bids you welcome. As you know, every one of its members is a man of action and courage. All have colorful pasts, but in each man's life, there is an adventure that stands out above all others. And at every meeting, such an adventure is related to the others. Let's join these soldiers of fortune and see where they carry us tonight. Ha ha ha. That's very nice. Gentlemen, gentlemen. I have a scoop for you tonight. The skipper has finally consented to tell us his strangest adventure. Not Andrews? None other. He's evaded us before, but I finally cornered the old rascal and here he is. All right, you old sea dog, the floor is yours. Ha ha ha. Aye, mates, but right now, I'd rather have a heavin' deck under my feet. Man and boy, I've sailed the seven seas and been in all sorts of tight places, but I don't know but what this is one of the worst. Ha ha ha. What an old car can do. Don't give up the ship. Well, I never deserted a ship yet, and I'm not startin' now. But you'll have to sit tight if you're shippin' with me, mates. We're on an old sailin' vessel, you see. Several days out of Singapore. A sailin' vessel? Aye. Aye, she's a beautiful lookin' hulk, my lads, and I'm takin' her to Madras for her owners. They have some ideal moorin' engines in their innards and makin' money off her as a treasure ship or some such nonsense. I have a nice cargo of coffee and tobacco stowed away, tryin' to kill two birds with one stone, and we're makin' grand headway until we run into a storm warnin' off the Andaman Islands. The wind is startin' to rise and the stars are blotted out by dirty clouds, and then the thunder starts talkin', and it looks as if we're in for some excitement. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Whew! We're runnin' the wind like the devil before holy water. A dirty night, Captain Andrew. Eh, whatever it makin'. We were stout ship and a good crew. This isn't the first storm we weathered. Aye, but I'm not trustin' that half-breed we picked up in Singapore. Ooh, Joe? Heh heh heh heh. Eh, he doesn't look like he'd be harmin' anyone. No, but the storm is puttin' a scare in him. Oh. His eyes are lookin' funny. Not natural, sir. Never seen a deep water sailor what fears a bit of a blow. Well, don't forget that Joe was daft from hunger when he came aboard. He'll be all right. Meanwhile, up on deck with you, and give a look and then report to me. I'm hopin' I don't have to leave a warm cabin on a night like this. Aye, aye, sir. But I must thinkin' you'll have to leave the cabin. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Well, might as well light the pipe and start the entries in the log. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Eh, nothin' like a good pipe. Hmm. Hmm. Come in. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. True, Joe. What is it? Why aren't you up on deck with the others? Me? I not stay, oh, dark Captain Andrews. I want for speak with you. Man, you're trimmed under like a leaf. What's wrong? The storm is rising. The storm is rising! Oh, what of that? You told me you were a deep water sailor. You should be used to weather, Joe. Ah, once I was. Once. But now, the storm is even. Oh, come now, you're acting like a child. What the devil are you? When I was on the deck, I see great sheet of foam rush by the rail. The wind is howl, same like thousand fiend. The night is black, much black. When the storm is stop, the sea will suck us down. Down. Down! See here, my hearty, I've had enough of this gibberish. Get up on deck alone with the rest of the crew. No, you're wrong. I not go on deck. What? You not make me go. I know. You want for make me follow my brother. I see him die in same storm like this. The sea sucked him down. Down. Down. Stop it. Weren't for that sick brain of yours, I'd have you thrown into the brink. Maybe you'd be safer there anyway. I'll call Mackey. You're wrong. You not call someone. See, it is. What? It Mackey will stop still. Where did you get that knife, Joe? Why you think? Maybe it save me from storm. If I kill you, maybe I not drown same like rat in the brig. When the ship goes down. Down. Down. Give me that knife, Joe. I think I lack for see you die. You are one who make us run in the storm. Easy now. Give me that knife. Right in the heart, eh? Now, so you not kill all the men. There. No, you don't. I have killed you. I killed Mackey. This is the way you repay me. Now I stick deep, so I slit your heart. Down. Down. Down. Captain, what's that? Are you all right, Captain? His knife is in the corner. All right, Mickey. Joe is completely mad. We've got to get him in the brig before he harms anyone. Look out. He's got a gun, sir. God, Mickey. We've got to stop him. He'll murder the crew. Come on. Let's go before he starts shooting. Get around and warn the crew. I'll go to the man at the wheel. For God's sake, keep your eyes open, man. That I will, sir. I'm not one to be a one to carry any lunatics lead in me back. Hear, you lovers. Joe's gone off his head. He's got a gun. Watch out for him. Holy mackerel. And he ain't got enough in his claw without watching out for a sniper. Must be carrying an asshole. Try to knife the captain in his cabin. Hey, he's in here. Where are the wheel holes, Mike? I tried to hold my ever-fault, sir. We still tried to ride the wing. Those sparrows are overloaded with catmars. Ah, well, ride it out, Mike. It's a better chance of getting caught in the middle of it. Shot. Oh, sounded like gunshot. Yeah, that's right, Mike. Joe's lost his mind. Run him up with a gun before I can stop him. Yeah, the boys must have him cornered somewhere. That bloke could not pick up a worse time to lose his head. The wind's changing, too, sir. Yeah, hold her steady as you can. Here comes Mickey now. What's up, lad? You look like you've seen a ghost, huh? I'm beginning to think I have, sir. Joe's climbed the mains far to the crow's nest, shooting at the wind and singing like a blasted nightingale. Hey, what's the wheel with your life, Mike? Hey, sir. You're out of range here. I'm going with Mickey. You bet, sir. But watch the heavy seas. The wind's beginning to veer. I'll straighten her out as soon as I can. There. Still shooting at the wind, eh? I'm going to try and talk to him. You, Finn. Get out of his range in case he turns his gunner's way. Aye, aye, sir. I hope you get him down, sir. He'll sink ashore if you boys can't handle the canvas. Oh, hurry there, Joe. Come down here. Ha ha ha ha. I'm not afraid no more, Catman. My brother is with me. He's very not afraid when he took you down. Ha ha, down. Down. Brother, is me eyesight gone? I can only see Joe up there. Hey, his brother's dead. Swept overboard in a storm. Oh. The devil is shooting at us, Captain. He's got me in the arms. For God's sake, men, hide yourselves there. I'm not partial to being shot at from across Ness, that's all. The wind would have blown any sane man into the sea long ago. Ha ha ha ha. This is wonderful, a fair, Captain. I'm flying. Ha ha ha. Flying. My brother's flying with me. Ha ha ha. If I have to listen to that much longer, I'll be flying too. Oh, he's crawling out of the crow's nest. Where is he heading for? He's looking for something on deck. The wind will get him now, sure. Hang in there as he is. Oh, my God, he's aiming at Mike. Quick, men, if Mike lets go of the wheel now, we're doomed. I'm going to the wheel. Don't tell him you'll be killed. Ah, it's worth a try. He's falling. He's falling, he's falling. He's gone, Captain. The wind got him at last. And like his brother, Joe of Singapore is going down, down, down. Well, that certainly was a narrow escape, Skipper. That certainly was an experience. Andrew certainly had his hands full, didn't he? It was enough to turn a man's hair white overnight. Joe's bullet would have sent us down to the bottom of the sea. For if Mike had loosened his hold on the wheel, loaded with canvas as we were, we never would have stood a chance. And you'd have gone down, down, down. Oh, let's talk of something cheerful for a change. Yeah, that's all right. Let's talk about something else. Another exciting tale is ending. As we leave the Skipper and his fellow members, don't forget, they are always eager to extend the hand of welcome to you. They hope you will join them at the next meeting and thrill with them to another story of a strange adventure in strange land.