Stand by for crime. Hi, Chuck Morgan talking. You know, speaking of unusual stories, they never happen as frequently as most people think. Especially when you're a newscaster like me with two broadcasts a day over KOP here in Los Angeles. I made the mistake a couple of times of coming up with some off-trail material that really made good copy. Now my listeners expect me to do it every time. It isn't easy. But occasionally I do get a break. Like last week, things have been pretty dull and I was beginning to think my reputation might be at stake unless I pulled off some kind of scoop within the next few days. And well, on Friday I got back to my apartment just before midnight looking forward to a nightcap and bed. How did you get in here? Crawled in through the woodwork with the help of a skeleton key. Say, you're even better looking than they said. Who said? A friend of mine. How about a drink, dearie? How can I refuse so subtle an approach? There's a bottle of lugs. I'm way ahead of you, dearie. Set-ups are all ready. Say when. That'll do it. I don't want to seem rude, but I've always more or less thought of this apartment as my private domicile. No. How can a man who's as much in the public eye as you ever think any part of his life is private? I assume by that that you know who I am. That's why I'm here. I have a favor to ask for a friend. Why doesn't the friend speak for himself or doesn't he own a skeleton key? You're cute. By the way, where were you a week ago last night? I have the faintest idea. I got news for you, dearie. You were with me. Is that a fact? And what were we doing? We were at the Sunbeach nightclub dancing between the hours of nine and twelve in the evening. Sounds like fun. Afterward you took me home and arrived at your own apartment at twelve thirty a.m. What? You mean you didn't ask me in for a nightclub? The name and address are written right here, in case you're ever asked. I see. Queenie O'Rourke, 999 South Belfast Drive. All right, Queenie, suppose we stop fooling around and get down to cases. We're down to cases, dearie. Except for this. What's in the envelope? My instructions for further exploits. Open it after I'm gone, dearie. And, uh, dearie? Yeah? Don't be sucker enough to get any ideas. Now, wait a minute. So long, dearie. Here's hoping you enjoy good health for a long time. I didn't like that last crack. As a matter of fact, I didn't like any part of this. I felt like a dope for letting Queenie get out of there. Well, it was done now. I walked over to the table, picked up the letter, and studied it for a minute. It was a plain brown vanilla envelope, rather bulky. Well, I'd never know what was inside unless I looked. If the Japanese peace treaty had fallen out of that envelope, I wouldn't have been more surprised. I stared down at the pile of bank notes lying on the table, stared down at $10,000 and $100 bills. It's amazing how a man can forget where he was and what he was doing on a certain date when asked point blank. March 28, only eight days ago. As far as my memory serves, it was like every other routine day. Something must have happened though. Some tiny incident that was worth $10,000 to a gal named Queenie, maybe to a lot of other people. Then I had an inspiration. I paid a blonde secretary named Carol Curtis to keep track of details like that. Maybe she might have some ideas on the matter. Hello? Hello, Glamopus. Chuck, what's the matter? I thought you were going to bed early. It's after midnight. Glamopus, I have an important question to ask you. Ready? Why, yes. I guess... Where were we on March 28? Oh, Chuck, you remembered. And I was so afraid you wouldn't. Remembered what? That was the night you proposed to me. But, only smoke again. What did you say? Nothing, Glamopus. Nothing. I was just thinking of something. You do remember, don't you? Sure, sure. Don't be silly. How could I forget? Look, Glamopus, I've got a wonderful idea. Tomorrow's Saturday. No broadcast. Nothing to do all day long. But, Chuck, I thought you said we were... I've got a better idea. Let's start out tomorrow and relive every moment of March 28. You mean do exactly the things we did on March 28? Even to the smallest incident. Just so you can propose to me again? Yeah, just so I can propose to you again. Oh, Chuck, I think that's the most wonderful idea ever. It'll be sort of like an anniversary. Yeah, yeah, like an anniversary. All right, honey, I'll pick you up at 11 in the morning. I picked up Carol at 11 straight up the next morning. I was tempted to tell her about Queenie and the 10,000 bucks, but she was so excited about the anniversary gag, I didn't have the heart to spoil her fun. We drove down to Santa Monica, headed north along the coast highway. You know, Chuckie, I just can't believe it. Believe what? Oh, that you could be so romanticist to think of an idea like this. My Glamopus, I come from a long line of romanticists. As a matter of fact, my great uncle Charlie Morgan had five wives. I've got news for you, Chuckie boy. You're only going to have one. On the other hand, my great uncle Phineas Nodgrass on my mother's side supported the school of thought that one wife was too many. He lived to be 97. Did you bring along the lunch? Of course I brought the lunch. And your uncle Phineas Nodgrass on your mother's side can go jump in the lake. Okay, Glamopus, I was just kidding you. Now, the idea of today's adventure is to do exactly what we did last week. As I recall, we drove directly to Santa Barbara without a stop, right? That's right. We had lunch on the beach and then we went swimming and then... Once you start reliving a day like that, going over the same ground, doing the same things, the details come back with surprising accuracy. We ate our lunch in exactly the same spot on the beach where we'd sat on a previous visit. Later we had a swim. Then sat on a rock and watched the sun go down. Still later, we drove to the beach club and ate dinner on a terrace overlooking the ocean. And then danced to the strains of soft music. I guess it was then, then with Carol's blonde head on my shoulder and the moonlight dancing across the bay that I got carried away with myself. At least Carol said it was and fed me a straight line for a cue when it came time to pop the question. I popped it. But apparently the pop wasn't loud enough. A fact that Carol made no bones about reminding me of the minute we got started along the road home. Well... Well? Well what, Glamopus? You were a washout. I was. When? You were. When we came to the big moment that was the reason for this entire day, you sounded as though you were asking some male friend to meet you for lunch and talk about horse racing. Oh, oh, there. Yes, that. What are you looking for? I was... Oh yeah, there it is. That filling station we stopped here for gas last week, remember? Oh, why bother? My whole day was spoiled back there at the beach club when you didn't... There we are. Let's see. Ten fifteen right on the nose. Who cares what time it is? Glamopus, it was exactly ten fifteen when we stopped here last week. Besides, this is the time... Uh-oh, here comes our same attendant. Hello there. Good evening, folks. How many? Well, this is the nice young couple who stopped here last week. Chuck, he remembers us. Remember you? My dear, how could I forget such happy faces, such romantic looks? I was almost as if... As if... Well, you just become engaged. Why, you little rascal, you. Did we really show it that much? Oh, my dear, you're looking at Roscoe Buttle, a man who in his youth was known throughout the length and breadth of the land as Casanova Buttle. Chuck, did you hear? Oh, he's wonderful. Yes, I heard him. Look, Glamopus, it was about at this point that you went in to powder your nose while I... Jiminy Crickets. It wasn't much, but it was the first thing that happened during that entire day that might give me a clue as to what was behind Queenie's ten thousand dollars. You see, the week before, Harold had gone in to powder her nose, and I'd sat there waiting. I'd been reaching for a cigarette when a black sedan drove up to the pumps. The timing was perfect, because I found myself out of matches and I wanted to smoke badly. I'd gotten out of my car and walked over to the black sedan. Hi there, you got a match? Sure. Hey, ain't you Chuck, Morgan? Joe. Joe Delaney. When did you get out, Joe? Don't be funny, Morgan. I ain't been in and you know it. You haven't been in for six months, you mean. You're still beating up respectable citizens in dark alleys for a living, Joe? Why, you are. Lay off, Joe. Okay. Your friend is giving you good advice, chum. The last time you made a pass at me, you came out with a broken wrist, remember? Sometime I'll get you, you two-bit punk. Don't forget that. Sometime I'll get you. Shut up, I said. You see, Joe, even your pals know what a rat you are. And anytime you want to even that score, just let me know. By the way, thanks for the match. Remembering this incident didn't prove anything, but Joe Delaney was a small time operator whom I'd helped send up to San Quentin by exposing his rotten racket. Naturally, he hated my insides and I had no love for him. Well, Carol came back this time from powdering her nose and Roscoe finished dusting off the windshield and came up for his money. That'll be $2.20, sir. Okay, Roscoe. Here you are. By the way, do you recall the black sedan that was here at the same time we were last week? Black sedan? Yeah. Oh, now that's asking quite a lot of little old Roscoe Casanova-Buttle. We, that is, I have many black sedans driving here every day. It's only the ones that contain romantic couples like us that little old Roscoe remembers. That's right, miss. Little old Roscoe Casanova-Buttle. That's what they call it. Yes, yes. You mentioned that before. Okay, little old Roscoe Casanova-Buttle. We will see you later. So we scored a blank for the entire day. Worse, Carol was mad because I hadn't put that certain oomph into popping the question. And I was mad because my bright idea hadn't paid off. So I left Carol at her apartment, stubbornly refusing to come in for a nightcap and drove home. My phone was ringing when I unlocked the door. All right, all right. Don't tear your shirt. Hello. That you, Chuck? Oh, hello, Pappy. Where you been, for gosh sakes? I've been out proposing marriage to Carol Curtis. It's my day off, remember? What have you been doing? Well, we've been trying to run down this Benny Bainé story, among other things. Look, Chuck, will you? Bainé escaped from Alcatraz eight days ago, and he's supposed to be in L.A. I've got every man on the staff phoning in copy. I've got to have you here for station break bulletins. This is the biggest story that's opened up around here in months. No, wait a minute, wait a minute. Let me get this straight. Bainé escaped eight days ago, and the story only just now is breaking? Well, the police have kept it undercover, hoping to pick him up before releasing the news. Some hot tips have come in. He's right here in L.A., and they expect an arrest anytime. I see. Okay, Pappy, I'll be there in ten minutes. You won't be anywhere in ten minutes, dearie. Just sit down and relax. Well, now I had all the answers to the puzzle. Six months ago, Benny Bainé, Gangnam's number one racketeer in L.A., had been convicted on an income tax evasion charge and sentenced to from five to ten on the rock. He'd promised to escape, and now he'd apparently succeeded. The police had kept it quiet, hoping to pick him up before the press found out and lost up any plans they might have by snooping around. The escape occurred eight days ago. Eight days ago, I had stood five feet from Bainé when I was talking to Joe Delaney. I've always thought that a girl with a gun presented a rather ridiculous spectacle. Queenie was no exception. I figured I could talk her into listening to reason easy. That hope was short-lived. Well if it isn't Queenie O'Rourke, you must be getting to feel at home around here. More so than you think. Stay right where you are, dearie. You'll handle that gun like an expert. And shoot it like an expert. Keep away from me. Hey, you guys! All right, Morgan, quit making like a hero. Well, well. Benny Bainé, the big shot himself. And Joe the rat, too. I told you I'd get to you, too, but, punk, and now my time is here. Hey, Art, Joe. Morgan, get on that phone, call your radio station. Tell them you got a lead down in the southwest section. You're following it up. And then what? And we'll all just sit down and relax and enjoy ourselves till the heat's off. Don't be a fool, Bainé. If I don't show up at the station in ten minutes, half the staff will be here looking for me. No, they won't, Morgan. Because you're gonna do like I said. Call old man Mansfield and tell him you got a lead. And you're gonna keep on calling him on and off all night, making him think you're hot on the trail of Benny Bainé. And if I refuse to make those calls? You won't, friend. You got feelings just like everybody else. You ready, Joe? You're darn right I am. Got your gun on him? Makes one move and I'll blast him wide open. Then let's go. This is what I've waited a long time for. Can't you stop that pacing, Carol? You're making me nervous. Sorry, Pappy. Oh, Pappy, you do think there's something wrong with him, don't you? You're scared just like I am. I don't know. In the first place, Chuck wouldn't have disobeyed your orders. And where could he possibly get a tip at that time of night? And why didn't he tell you about it? And why... Oh, quit it, quit it. You're getting hysterical. Maybe I am. But you can't convince me that Chuck isn't being forced to make those calls. And people don't force Chuck to do anything. So what does it mean? It means he wants us to know he's being forced for a reason. What reason? He's being held prisoner somewhere. Where? Carol, are you sure Chuck didn't talk to anyone while you were celebrating your anniversary yesterday? I've already told you a hundred times. No one but that character, the Filling Station. And just what was the nature of that dialogue? Chit chat. He said he remembered us and we said we remembered him. And he said he was a romantic creature at heart and then just before we left... Say, wait a minute. Well? Just before we left, Chuck asked him if he recalled that a black sedan had been at the Filling Station while we were there eight days before. Well, did he? No, but I do. It contained two men. Chuck borrowed a match from one of them. Sounds normal. What happened to make you remember it so clearly? Because Chuck recognizes the man. He said his name was Joe something and Chuck was responsible for sending him to San Quentin. That must have been Joe Delaney. Chuck really laid that guy out. That was it. Joe Delaney. Could it mean anything, Pappy? Well, Joe was a bodyguard for Benny Benet. That's it, Pappy. The other man in the car was Benny Benet and they thought Chuck recognized him. No, if they thought Chuck recognized Benet, they wouldn't have waited this long. Oh yes, they would. They knew the story wouldn't break for a week, so they took their time. Knowing that when the story did break, Chuck would remember Joe Delaney. Oh, you're grabbing at straws, Carol. Oh no, I'm not. Listen, they were waiting for Chuck when he got home last night. They let him answer your call and then they grabbed him. And did what with him? Kept him right there. That's where he is now and so is Benny Benet. Oh, don't you see it, Pappy? It's the perfect hideout for Benny Benet. Well, it's just a wild enough theory to have some merit. Still, I can't... It's the only answer. Chuck's taking a beating from them to make it look authentic when he makes his phone calls. He knows if he can keep them there long enough, we'll figure out what he's doing. Oh, Pappy, I know I'm right. Well, but first we've got to find out if he is there. And I know just how we can do it. Listen, Pappy, if you'll just lend me your ear... Queenie? Hey, Queenie. Yeah, Benny. That coffee ready? Yeah, I'll be ready in a minute. Okay, hurry it up, huh? Joe. Hey, Joe. Huh? Oh, hello, boss. What time is it? It's eight o'clock. Wake Morgan up. It'll be a pleasure. Come on, jerk, wake up. Oh, why, I... Wake up, I said. Don't give me none of your lip. Okay, okay. So I'm awake. Are you now? Well... That's enough, Joe. Oh, boss. That's enough, I said. Okay. Here's a coffee. Okay, set it down there. Now listen, everybody. Who would that be, Morgan? I don't know. The paperboy, I guess. Let him go away. We don't want no one to know Morgan's here. Now, wait a minute. I got a better idea. Answer the door, Morgan. Tell the kid you just got in, but you got another hot tip on Bonnet and you're leaving for Long Beach in five minutes. The kid will be sure to tell someone. His phone calls are beginning to sound like a setup. That's my figuring, Bonnet. Sure it is. All right, Morgan, get going. And remember, this heater of mine will be aimed right at the back of your head every minute. Okay. Hello, son. Hi, Mr. Morgan. Gosh, what happened to you? Well, I got banged up a bit last night chasing Benny Bonnet around town. Just got in a couple of minutes ago. Gosh, you sure did. Do you think the police will catch him, Mr. Morgan? Do you? They might. If I don't catch him first, I'm leaving for Long Beach in about five minutes. Do you think he's down there? I think so. You got my paper there? Yeah, here it is. Thanks. So long. Hey, wait a minute. I guess you forgot to pay me. Pay? Oh, yes, sure. I'm sorry. Here's a buck. Keep the change. Gee, thanks, Mr. Morgan. Sure. Nice going, Morgan. You're learning fast. Yeah, too nice going. Morgan, you ever seen that kid before? What's the matter, Bonnet? Getting the jitters? I asked you a question. Sure, I've seen him before. I see him every morning. Didn't you hear him call me by name? Sure, boss. This punk is so slap happy, he ain't got sense enough to try pulling a fast one. He still ain't so sure. You give him anything besides that dollar? Sure. I handed him a large vanilla envelope containing a full story of your escape. I composed it while I was sitting here with my hands tied. Funny man, huh? Boss, you want me to work this joker over again? Now, wait a minute. Let me think. I got a hunch. My hunches ain't never wrong. We gotta get out of here. You're a dope, Bonnet. Where are you going? Every spot in town is covered by now. Hey, he's right, boss. We leave this place, we ain't got a chance. Sure, and we stay here, we ain't got a chance either. Mr. Morgan wants us to stay. Why, Mr. Morgan? I just can't stand being left alone. I see. I was right. Okay, Joe, tie him up. We'll make him talk. And that's all he said, Jimmy, that he was going to Long Beach? Yeah, that's all, Miss Curtis. Gee, was his face a mess? Oh, poor Jimmy. And when you asked him for your money, he gave you a dollar and told you to keep the change? That's right, Mr. Mansfield. Well, that proves Chuck knew it was a gag. Well, how does that prove it? Well, never mind now, son. Carol, you're sure you want to go through with the plan? Oh, yes, Pappy. Let's hurry. Okay, I'll check with Bill Meggs. You get started when you see my signal. All right, Pappy. Be careful now. Hold it, Joe. He's had enough. That guy can sure take a lot. He's out cold. Get some water, Queenie. Okay. Hold it. Chuck, Chuck. Who's that? I don't know, but I don't like it. Chuck, let me in. It's Carol. That's Carol Curtis, Morgan's blonde secretary. Yeah, quite a dish, too. Never mind that, Joe. And Queenie, get over there behind the door. What you going to do, boss? I'm going to let her in. She knows Morgan's here. She wouldn't keep pounding on that door. We got to talk to that babe. And get going, you two. Chuck, please let me in. Pappy wants to see you. Chuck, who are you? Come on in, sister. I want to talk to... Hey, watch the window! All right, Ben. The cops! Let him in. Well, most of the credit for Benny Bainé's capture goes to Carol, bless her. It was she who remembered the fire escape and offered to attract attention to the door while Pappy, Bill Megs and a half a dozen cops got set outside the back window. Carol stayed after the others had gone to nurse my wounds. Take it easy, Glamopuss. Oh, don't be such a baby. Here, let me put this salve on that cut over your eye. That Joe Delaney packs a mean wallop. I just wish they'd let you have five minutes alone with Joe Delaney before they send him back to San Quentin. Why? What would I do? You'd knock the spots off him. Glamopuss, you're wonderful. Come to think of it, I mean it. Mean what? You are wonderful. Oh, Chuckie boy, you're just saying that because you think I'm wonderful. You know, it really was smart of you to figure out about that news boy. Wasn't it, though? I knew that Benet wouldn't remember that you worked late, so you slept late. So you got a new boy to deliver my paper instead of the regular one. Sure. The regular one, knowing you slept late, left your paper outside the door and went away. So you reasoned that when I saw a new boy who knocked on the door until I opened it, I'd figure you knew I was being held prisoner and would hold out a bit longer. But what cinched it was when the boy asked you to pay him. That really must have convinced you. Well, as I mentioned before, Glamopuss, you're wonderful. Now, next time I get to pop that question again, it's going to have oomph. However, do you know there's one thing that you and Pappy forgot? What's that? Today is Sunday, and on Sunday, I always get up early to pay the paper boy.
