fiery horse with a speed of light, a cloud of dust, and a hearty hi-oh silver, the Lone Ranger. Through the generations, the citizens of the western United States have kept alive the memory of the mysterious phantom figure of the plains. They tell of his great white horse, Silver, and of his faithful friend, the Indian Tonto. They still speak with gratitude of the courageous fight waged against crime by the famous masked rider of justice. And now, as the hooves of silver thunder down the trail, let us recapture those days of thrilling adventure once more. The Lone Ranger rides again. As the Lone Ranger rode by on silver, he said that two old friends of his needed help. Bolivar Bates and Hacksaw Hastings, two cheerful but irresponsible veterans of the Civil War, had collected the taxes in Las Palmas County with the aid of the Lone Ranger. Then, with their commission in their pockets, they rode westward to the Catamount Hills, where they decided to make their home in an abandoned cabin until another profitable enterprise came their way. As our story opens, we see Hacksaw in the Acme Restaurant, Bensonville's leading eating place. He is seated at a table in conversation with Aggie McGuire, a waitress, and Bart Sidney, a friend of the proprietor, Pete Greer. Hacksaw, as usual, is boasting of his adventures. I'm telling you folks, me and Bolivar had them fellas in Las Palmas, Fair Buffalo. At first, they didn't hanker to pay their taxes. But when we'd ventilated a dozen of them, they changed their minds right smart. You mean you shot and killed them? No, it weren't our shooting had done for them. It was just that we left them so drafty from bullet holes, they'd catch cold and died. Oh, my. Did you get much cash out of it for yourselves? Oh, offhand, I'd say we'd made us eleven or ten thousand dollars in silver. Take much, but still it'll do for a grub steak, Bart. You got all that cash just from collecting taxes? Well, any darn fool knows it's more profitable collecting taxes than paying them. I heard such a lot about how mean they are down in Las Palmas. You must have been awful brave, Hacksaw, to take a job like that. Brave? Say, I'm so plumbful of courage, sometimes I scare myself. Did you say you still got that cash? Sure we have. We're hanging on to it till we find a good use for it. Ten or eleven thousand dollars, you say, eh? Oh, maybe it'll run them out over that. What's a thousand dollars one way or the other? I suppose you put all that cash in the bank, didn't you? No, sirree. Me and Bolivar are sight too smart for that. We ain't letting no strangers have the use of our cash. You see, Bart, that's what I always said. I told you plain that Hacksaw weren't only the bravest fellow I ever met up with, but one of the smartest, too. Shucks, I was smart enough to be Jeb Stewart's right-hand man. Bolivar was his left. Or was it the other way round? Dread it I never can recollect which is my left hand, which is my right. I always remember thinking of which hand I write with. Uh-huh. That'd do for something, but I can't write. Never figured it'd be good for me. I think you're just grand, Hacksaw. Huh? What's that? You're brave and you're smart and you're just the kind of a gentleman a woman would like. Oh, I don't know. Yes, you are, Hacksaw. And I'll bet you wouldn't ever do harm to a lady or let anybody else do harm to her either. Gee, is there anybody been doing you any harm, Miss Aggie? No. That is, it's nothing I've liked. Oh, that's Peter. I'd better be seeing to my work. There goes a mighty fine little lady, Bart. Uh-huh. I ain't never heard nothing again, huh? Say, Hacksaw, being as I'm a friend of yours, I hope you got all that cash hidden in a safe place. Sure have. It's in the cabin, but there ain't nobody to ever find that. Well, I'm right relieved to hear it. You'll never catch two old hands like me and Bolivar getting callous. I reckon not. Like I was seeing. My golly, Pete slapped Aggie. Yes, sir, he'll teach you to mind your business. Next time I step out, don't you be sitting down to gab with a customer. Hey there! What's the idea of hitting Aggie? Stay out of this gold goat. Ain't none of your business. Oh, Hacksaw, he hit me, he hit me just because he saw me talking to you. If you don't shut your mouth, I'll give you another slap. I'd fun, you will. I won't, huh? You get out of here before I throw you out. Why is under racing that just about enough? Why, you... I'm over. Hey, sir, and here's another. He don't need me, will you? Oh, Hacksaw, watch out, he's got a chair. You blasted Maverick, I'll fix you. No, you don't. You missed me. I won't get him. Hacksaw, the boy's coming after you. I'll show you, get out of my partner. I'm giving you a hand, Pete. Come on, Mark. He's trying to wreck the boat. I'll lick the boat. Shoot him, Mark. Shoot him. I can't. He's got a hold of my arm. Oh, you beast. You're bruised. You ain't gonna harm Hacksaw. Here's one for you, Bob, for mixing in. Now, if Bolliver was here, we'd take on the whole town. Come on, you fellas. I'm a-waitin' for you. Then take this. Oh, that's right. Look out. Oh, close to the robot. Hey, what in place? Let go of my arm. You've caused enough damage, Hacksaw. You're coming with me. Take him away from here. It's a masked man. Go on your way, Hacksaw. Out of here. Say, you're the masked fella me and Bolliver met up with before. Yes, and I thought you'd learned enough to stay out of trouble. Now, come. I ain't going without Aggie. Come on, Miss Aggie. Let's clear out of here. I'm going with you, Hacksaw. I saw your horse outside, Hacksaw. I want you to ride out of town as fast as you can. Sure I will. Hurry, Aggie. We're leaving right now. And don't come back here. Come on, Silver. Blast you, Hacksaw. You wrecked my place. I'm sure gonna see that you pay for the damages. Hey, come back here. Now try and collect. You start at this frinkus and by golly you can blame well people on yourself. Bolliver Bates, suspecting nothing of what had happened in town, had just stepped outside his cabin when he saw Pete Greer, owner of the restaurant that Hacksaw had wrecked, riding swiftly toward him. Bolliver greeted Pete with a shout. Hi there, Pete. What you doing up this away? Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I'm right surprised to see you. You're the pardoner, Hacksaw Hastings, ain't you? Sure, but... And I want my cash. Cash? What are you talking about? I'll tell you what I'm talking about. That blameful sidekick of yours come into my place today and smashed it to pieces. He did? The selfish old coyote. Fine places couldn't he let me take a hand? He lit out without paying for the damages. So as he's your partner, I reckon it's up to you to pay. Me? You got cash here, ain't you? What if I have? I ain't paying none of it out to you. That eating place of yours ought to be smashed up. I had a slice of apple pie in there once and I ain't never felt right since. Hacksaw done a hundred dollars worth of damage and by golly somebody's got to pay me for it. Maybe you did something to make Hacksaw mad. You ought to be careful. Him and me are fighting terrors. You didn't give him a piece of that same pie I had, did you? Ah, you... Now don't make faces at me or I'll go to town and finish where Hacksaw left off. Wrecking my place ain't all that old Maverick done. Yeah? And run off with Aggie too. That's not, not lie. Well, Aggie wasn't as you know my place. Ain't many women a fella can hire out in this country. Hacksaw wouldn't run off with no female? I'm telling you, he did. Don't take my say so for it. You can find out in town easy enough. Well, he's done some darn funny things but I never knew him to do something like this before. From what I've seen him, I'd say he's likely to do most anything. If he's run off with Aggie, where'd they go? Aggie's Ma's got a place at the edge of town. I reckon that's the place to look for him. Hi there, General Sherman. Quit stuffing yourself with that glass and come over here. What are you aiming to do? I'm going to town, that's what. And if I find you've been stretching the truth about my partner, I'll attend to you personally. How about them damages? Send the bill, Aggie's Ma. Maybe she'll pay for him. But if you think you're going to get any cash from me, you're plum mistaken. Get up, General Sherman. Get along with you. Bolivar urged his horse along the trail to Bensonville, determined to learn the truth of the story told him by Pete. In the meantime, the Lone Ranger had returned to the small, well-hidden camp he shared with his faithful Indian companion, Tonto. The masked man told his friend of Hacksaw's fight and then proceeded on to town. In the meantime, Hacksaw accompanied Aggie to the home of her mother. There, the waitress cleverly appealed to Hacksaw's sympathy. Golly, Miss Aggie, you sure put me in mind of my sister back home. No, Hacksaw, you're just saying that. Plan's sake, I don't know why I should. Honest, Miss Aggie, I ain't just saying that to make you feel good. It's the truth. I ain't seen Cynthia for a long time, but I bet you and she look a heap alike. Well, if that's so, I hope she's happier than I am. Huh? You ain't worrying about Pete, are you? No, that ain't it. I sure wish you'd feel free to tell me about it. I'd rather not, Hacksaw. You wouldn't believe me anyhow. Oh, no, Miss Aggie. And besides, there's something I've got to face all alone, I reckon. Now, you look here. I ain't the fella to let a real nice girl like you worry none when I might maybe be of help. I don't know whether I ought to say anything or not after, after what Bolivar told me. You mean my partner, Bolivar Bates? Please, Hacksaw, don't you pay any attention. I didn't mean to let it slip out. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. What about Bolivar? Please don't make me tell. Come on, speak up. Well, when I asked him for the loan of some money for my mother... No, don't stop now. Oh, it was just that I... I didn't know where to turn for help. Ma needs doctrine so bad and I don't make enough money to help her and... Yeah? And I heard Bolivar say something about how you both had plenty of cash. So I figured maybe you'd be willing to loan me some. I'd have paid it back. Honest to wood. Well, if that's all that's bothering you, Miss Aggie, I reckon it can be fixed up all right. How much cash do you need? But Bolivar said you wouldn't let him loan it. Huh? What's that? That's the reason I didn't want to tell you about it. You mean to sit there and tell me Bolivar claimed I wouldn't help you out? There. I knew all the time you wouldn't believe me. But... I should have just kept still. Now, don't get mad, Miss Aggie. I ain't saying you're fibbing. Just forget about it, Hacksaw. That's all I ask. I won't either. I ain't said I didn't believe you, have I? I want to know some more about what Bolivar said. Oh, it was just that the cash belonged to both of you and you wouldn't let him loan any of it to help me out. Why, that consigned old skinflint using me to cover up his own ownliness. I don't want to cause trouble between you. I'll get the cash for you, Miss Aggie. And I'll tell Bolivar a thing or two... No, no, don't do that. I wouldn't want Bolivar to know I said anything to you. You've got to promise me you won't tell him. No, but... I promise. Well, if you says I have to... Don't you see? It just makes things worse. Well, uh... Uh-huh. It might at that. How much cash do you need, Miss Aggie? Uh, I think maybe 75 or 100 dollars would be enough. Then by golly you're going to get it. You're awful nice. But you won't let Bolivar know you're bringing it to me, will you? Not if you don't want me to. I was thinking maybe you might get it without his knowing and bring it to me tonight. Sure, I will. You could meet me outside by that big oak sometime after dark tonight. You see, Ma's got a heap of pride and I wouldn't want her to find out I was borrowing money to help her. Sure, I'll say every how you feel. I'll wait till Bolivar's got to sleep tonight then I'll ride back here. Oh. Huh? What's hailing you? I just seen Ma coming down the path. You'd better go, Hexaw. You can get out the back way and then you won't meet her. Anything you say. And tonight I'll be waiting for you by the oak. You got my word, Miss Aggie. I won't fail you. But by golly, I wish I could tell Bolivar what I think of his meanness. Hurry, Hexaw. I'm going to hurry and so long. Why won't Pete laugh when I tell him about this? Bolivar Bates come into the front door while Hexaw goes out the back. Howdy, Miss Aggie. Can I come in? Why, of course, Bolivar. Come right inside. I've been wanting to speak to you. The curtain falls on the first act of our Lone Ranger drama. Before the next exciting scenes, please permit us to pause for just a few moments. Now to continue our story. Hacksaw Hastings became involved in a fight in the Acme restaurant when Pete Greer, the proprietor, slapped the face of Aggie McGuire, a waitress. The Lone Ranger stopped the fight and Hacksaw accompanied Aggie to the home of her mother. In the meantime, Pete informed Bolivar Bates of what had happened and Bolivar rode hurriedly to town in search of his partner. He rapped on the front door of Aggie's home just as Hacksaw went out the back. We see Bolivar now a few minutes after Aggie admitted him. Where in tarnation is Hacksaw? He's here, ain't he? He was here, but I wish I'd never seen him. Because he lost to your job? Oh, shucks. He had to fight, didn't he? Any fellow that wasn't a yellow coyote would have done the same. Oh, it weren't that I was thinking of. So you've been crying. I didn't mean to show it. Was it that blamed Hacksaw that made you cry? Yes. Gosh, ain't he done enough already for one day? He smashes up the eating place in town, gets Pete Greer Raven mad at him, and now he's got you crying. Boy, he must have gone clean local. It'll be all right. Just what's he been up to anyhow? I don't suppose I ought to tell you, but I was so hoping you and him could help me out. Help you out? Uh-huh. It's Ma. She needs a doctor so bad. We ain't got no money, and I thought you seemed so nice and kind that maybe... That maybe what? Well, that maybe you wouldn't mind the loan or enough money so that Ma wouldn't have to die. Is your Ma that bad, Sik? If I don't get that cash, she'll die for sure. Why, shucks, miss. There ain't never been a time I wouldn't help out where I could. You mean you'd loan me that money? Of course I would. But Axel said you wouldn't. He said he'd be glad to, but you wouldn't let him. Axel said that? I didn't think it was like that, but that's what he said. Well, I'll be altogether mendiciously hogtied if that don't beat all. How long's Axel been gone? I want to get hold of him. What are you aiming to do? What am I going to do? I'm going to make him eat them words or choke on them. It don't matter much which. I don't savvy where he got the idea that... But, Mr. Bates, I wish you wouldn't do that. You know, I told you, and there'll just be a lot of trouble about it. Please don't say nothing to him. Well, by gosh, I... You wouldn't want to make things worse for me than they are already, would you? Hey, don't... Don't you go crying again. Gosh, I just can't stand the sight of a woman crying. I'll promise you. Stop them sniffles and I'll promise anything. You won't say nothing to Axel? No, siree. And I'll see that you get your money, too. You're such a gentleman, Mr. Bates. When do you want it? Could you meet me tonight? You just bet I could. I'll slip out of the house after dark tonight if you'll be here. I'll be waiting for you by that big oak out in the yard. All right. You just tell me how much you need and I'll sure be there. Aggie did not know that while she told her story first to Hacksaw and then to Bolivar, the masked man was listening just beyond the half-open window. When Bolivar left the house, the lone ranger rode swiftly to his camp where he met Tonto. Tonto, I've learned more than I had expected. What you hear? Aggie is scheming something. Maybe that she only wants the money she asked him for. But she could have got that without making Hacksaw and Bolivar enemies. Maybe her want all their cash, huh? That might be her purpose. She believes, of course, that they have several thousand dollars. This may be part of her scheme to get all of us. And Tonto been to town, seen Pete, him plenty mad. What did he do, Kimo, Semi? Him talk with fella named Bart, him talk quiet. Yes. Pete, husband and girl. He is? Uh-huh. Tonto learned. If Pete Greer is Aggie's husband, it makes the whole thing look more suspicious than ever. It would be a terrible thing if Hacksaw and Bolivar became enemies after their years of friendship. That's right. Pete is Aggie's husband. He started that fight in his restaurant and let Hacksaw believe he had won. Then Aggie lied to Hacksaw about Bolivar and to Bolivar about Hacksaw. The plan might be... Tonto, did you say that Pete seemed to be scheming with Bart? Well, Tonto will not hear what them say. But I believe I can guess. We're going to have some action tonight, Tonto. Aggie has made appointments with two men for this evening. Uh-huh. But she's going to find two more men than she expected. That night, Bolivar was the first to freak silently from the cabin he shared with Hacksaw. Outside, he hastily rode toward Aggie's home. But the Lone Ranger and Tonto were watching the trail to town. There's our man, Tonto. Come on, Silver, up, white fella. Hurry up, a rope for that rider, Tonto. Here, a rope. I'll throw it over his shoulders. There they are. Oh, Silver, oh, white fella. What is this? What? My gosh, you're the fellas we met before. So you remember us, do you? And I figured you was my friend. We are your friends, Bolivar. Then why'd you rope me? Why don't you let me loose? Not just now. Get someplace. There's someone waiting for me. You know what to do with them, don't you, Tonto? Me, no. Then I'll leave Bolivar with you. But Blastis, you can't do this. I'll see you. Leaving Tonto to guard Bolivar, the masked man raced away. In the meantime, Hacksaw hurried to keep his appointment. He dismounted a safe distance from Aggie's home, then proceeded cautiously on foot toward the tree where he was to meet the girl. Through the gloom of the night, he made out a figure which he assumed to be Aggie. Aggie, is that you? No. What? Careful. Don't make any noise. My gosh, I've got a gun on you. Don't move or shout. You're the masked man. I am. And I'm here to help you. You put down that gun. I don't need any help. I don't savvy what you're in a fear in front of us. Say, who's that coming there? It's Tonto and your partner, Bolivar. Bolivar? Now, what in tarnation is he doing here? You'll learn soon enough. Tonto, bring Hiller here. All right. Good. What in blazes? You've got Bolivar all tied up and gagged. It was necessary, Hacksaw. Me take rope off now? Yes, Kimo Sabe. Bolivar, we're going to untie you. But if you make a noise, that gag goes right back on. Remember that. Well, I'd sure give a heap to Sabe. What's going on? Have you got Bolivar untied yet, Kimo Sabe? Hmm, me got rope off. Now, look here. There's no time for arguing. Just obey my instructions. Say, ain't that Hacksaw there? It's me, all right, you own re-coyote. I told you not to argue. Tonto, is everything ready? Uh-huh. Me stop in town on way here. Now then, you two, you're mad at each other. So let me see you fight it out. Huh? What was that you said? If you're enemies, fight. Unless you're afraid of each other. Me feared? Say, I ain't feared of any fellow that ever walked. Yeah? Well, I've just been aching to get my hands on you. I'm going to punch some of that meanness out of you. You ain't got the nerve. I ain't, huh? I'll teach you to tell things about me that ain't true. Why, grab your head, I'll show you. Take this. Oh. And here's another for you. There. You can't do that to me. I'm going to give you the licking of your life. And here's one for a starter. I'll tear you apart. You ain't man enough. Why, you blame sorry telling old goat that I'll shoot. Hey, what's that shooting? Quick, move around. Gotcha, you knocked me down. Both of you stay down. Make believe you've been shot. I don't savvy this. Do as I tell you. Those men couldn't see Tonto and me where we stood. Those shots were meant for you two. Huh? What's that? Quiet, let me talk. The shots came from the house. The men who fired them will be here in a moment to make sure they got you. Maybe I'm just plain dumb, but I don't get this at all. Don't move. The man is your heart. Gosh, mister, they'd have drilled us if you hadn't pushed us down. Yes. There come the men from the house. See them? Pete and Bart. Aggie told both of you the same story. Listen, I must speak fast. Both of us? It was arranged for Pete to slap Aggie's face so that Hacksaw would fight. Aggie knew that Hacksaw would sympathize with her and that you, Bolliver, would come looking for Hacksaw. Is that a fact? Did you come looking for me, Bolliver? Mm-hmm. He did. And Aggie made him think you'd refuse her money, Hacksaw, just as she made you think the same about Bolliver. She knew both of you were generous and that nothing would rile you more than to be accused of being selfish. Well, I'd be hogtied. Say, them fellas are creeping closer. Let me unload my shooting iron at them. Wait, let me finish. You two were to meet here and fight. Then you were to be shot. By God. It would appear that you had killed each other. But what fare? Why'd they want to do that? It was your own fault. You boasted all about the money you claimed to have. With you both out of the way, they planned to steal it. But what did the woman have to do with it? The scheme was Pete's. He's Aggie's husband. Was you telling them we had a lot of cash, Hacksaw? Well, maybe I did stretch it a little. No, where'd more? They're coming. I reckon we got them. All right, Bart. But we won't take no chances. They'll keep our guns handy. They ain't dead yet. We'll finish them all. Uh-huh. You will, will you? What the? More of them. Shoot them. Shoot them. I can't. Give me a chance. We'll longer your blast keep them cold. Let me get them. There ain't nobody can lick us back to back, Bollinger. That sure ain't. Yahweh. We're the fightiest wildcats that ever born. Come on, you skunk. Take what you got coming. Let me get in a few punches, Hacksaw. You're hogging all the fans. Pete's down. He's out of the place. Just a second. There. Turn house those bars. And serves them right. All right, Sheriff. You can arrest these men now. Watch that, the sheriff. So that's what you stopped in town, Bertonto. Uh-huh. Me tell the sheriff. Watch this house. That's what the redskin told me, sure enough. And I've seen plenty and heard a lot more. Now I got the evidence to arrest these fellas like I've always wanted to. Get up there, Pete. You too, Bart. Come on, there. Stand up, Blasher. Get up. So we can knock you down again. That'll be enough, Hacksaw. You've got all the revenge you need. When I think of them fellas trying to make me and Hacksaw enemies, I get to see you in red. Perhaps this will teach you both a lesson, then. It wouldn't have happened if you were told the truth. Well, shucks. I didn't figure they'd really believe me when I said we had all that cash. What's that? Pete, you planned this to get the money Hacksaw claimed they'd collected and lost Palmas, didn't you? What if we did? But you didn't know that instead of $10,000 or so, they had only two or three hundred. You don't mean it. It's the truth. Well, of all that, Pete, you and me got us in this trouble for nothing at all. Bless them. But it's the last scheme either of you will try. I'll see to that. We'll leave these men in your charge, Sheriff. Come, Dollar. Thanks for what you've all done. And believe me, there ain't gonna be nothing that can get me and Bolivar mad at each other again. See that you don't forget that. Then... and think them beat Schemer. Yes. But I'm afraid if we hadn't been there, Pete and Bart would have had things their own way. Not right. But we won't let either Hacksaw or Bolivar know that they didn't beat those men by themselves. The belief that they're still rough fighting men will save their pride. Steady, Silver. Maybe... Maybe them tell truth now. Well, we'll hope that the lesson will stay with them, Kimo Sabe. The story you have just heard is a copyrighted feature of the Lone Ranger, Incorporated.
