The Bakers of Weber's Bread present your all-star Western Theater, recorded earlier for release at this time. Drifting along, singing a song under a western moon. From Hollywood comes your all-star Western Theater, starring America's great western singers, Roy Willing and the Riders of the Purple Sage, bringing you the music, the stories, and the spirit of the great open spaces. Today's very special guests, Jerry Colonna and Monty Montana. For now, here are the Riders of the Purple Sage. I want to drink my jug from an old tin can while the moon goes ridin' high. I want to hear the call of the whipper wheel, I want to hear that coy old cry. I want to feel my saddle horse between my legs, ridin' a mile on the reins. Just to kick him in the side, make him show his step in pride, out on the Texas plains. Each night in my dreams, somehow it seems I'm back where I belong. Just a country hit, back in the sticks, back where I was born. The city life and the city ways are driving me insane. I want to be alone, I want to be back home, out on the Texas plains. I want to drink my jug from an old tin can while the moon goes ridin' high. I want to hear the call of the whipper wheel, I want to hear that coy old cry. I want to feel my saddle horse between my legs, ridin' a mile on the reins. Just to kick him in the side, make him show his step in pride, out on the Texas plains. Out on the Texas plains. Applause Hello there, friends. This is Boy Willings speaking for the writers of The Purple Sage and saying welcome to your all-star Western Theater, where we have the privilege of bringing you our Western stories and songs. We feel especially privileged today because we have our good friends Jerry Colonna and Monty Montana with us. Colonna is starring in our story, and besides that, he has a song for you, too. But right now, the boys and I would like to sing for you our arrangement of No One to Cry To. No One to Cry To No one to cry to No one to say goodnight No one to tell my troubles to No one to sigh to No one to hold me tight No one to cheer me when I'm blue I go home to my lonely room and find there's no one there And each night I beg of you, please answer this one prayer And give me someone to cry to Someone to say I do Someone to whisper I love you Someone to tell me I'm not alone Someone to tell me I'm not alone Someone to tell me I'm not alone If I've done something very wrong, oh please forgive me dear Won't you promise from now on I'll always find you near Please give me someone to cry to Someone to say I do Someone to whisper I love you We've got a great show for you tonight, good music, good laughs, and a good western drama. We're sure the whole family will enjoy it. As you know, it's brought to you by the bakers of Weber's Bread. And that's another thing the whole family is sure to enjoy, good Weber's Bread. We'd like to think that every family listening in had Weber's Bread for dinner tonight. But perhaps some of you newcomers to Southern California haven't tried Weber's Bread yet. Well, if you haven't, won't you buy a loaf next time you visit your grocery store? You'll recognize Weber's Bread by the distinctive blue and white Czech gingham wrapper. We think you'll like it better than any bread you've ever tasted. Weber's Bread is always fresh, soft, and flavorsome. It's exceptionally good bread. The Riders of the Purple Sage recently recorded for Majestic Record a fine hillbilly jump tune. They sing it for you now. I Couldn't Believe It Was True. Last night I came home and I knocked on the door. I called to my love as I often before. I knocked and I knocked but no answer there came. No kisses to greet me, no voice called my name. I couldn't believe it was true, oh lord, I couldn't believe it was true. My eyes filled with tears, I must have aged in years. I couldn't believe it was true. I let myself in and I walked to our bed. I found an old bear and a message I read. The truth like a bull upon the blue then the dawn. My sweetheart had left me, my darling had gone. I couldn't believe it was true, oh lord, I couldn't believe it was true. My eyes filled with tears, I must have aged in years. I couldn't believe it was true. The shock was so great I am shivering yet. I tried to forgive but I cannot forget. My heartbreak and losses and other man's gain. Her happiness always I hope will remain. I couldn't believe it was true, oh lord, I couldn't believe it was true. My eyes filled with tears, I must have aged in years. I couldn't believe it was true. And now our guests Jerry Colonna and Marty Montana join Foy Willing and the writers of The Purple Sage to tell tonight's story. It's one they call Jerry and his donkey honky. In the West a man often has to rely greatly on his beast of burden. For the core of life in the West is livestock. Each cowboy has his favorite horse which he will assure you with or without provocation can ride faster and longer than any other horse is more sure-footed, more intelligent and more loyal. The horse generally knows how to plead for and get lumps of sugar and can ferret a fresh carrot out of the stubbornest coat pocket. Each of the riders of The Purple Sage has such a horse and each of their friends has a horse for which such attributes are loudly claimed. But Colonna, well Colonna is something else again. Colonna has a donkey. Foy Willing, Al Sloey, Johnny Paul and Scotty Harrell are jogging along through Happy Canyon this evening long about dusk. Their riding is a little bit aimless because they're riding away from nothing and toward even less. It's a slack time of year for itinerant cowboys and there may be plenty of days ahead in which they move slowly toward the South. And at night sleep under the soft southern sky. Soft southern sky. Aye, aye. Yeah. You guys remember a guy named Terence O'Sullivan? I do Foy. Sure. Me too. He was a cook on the Double W Ranch. Well, dignified by calling him a cook if you want to. He used to talk about the soft southern sky and the caressing breeze, such stuff as that. Yeah, he claimed he was descended of Irish King. He was descended all right but I don't know for sure. He had an assistant. Yeah, I remember. Colon is the guy that had the donkey. That's right, Scotty. He had a donkey that he thought the world and all of. Called him Honky. Sure did, Al. Honky the donkey. That's the donkey that got on the Santa Fe tracks and stalled the chief for two hours. Yeah, wouldn't budge. Now the engineer was so mad he practically bit his diesel in two. I remember that. According to the version I heard, he did. Well, how did Colon get Honky to move? He promised to call Honky Super Chief. Yeah, my my. I wonder where Colon is. Yeah, my my. I wonder where Colon is now. Oh, he is! They get a new type of wild animal in these canyons every year. Hold up, boys. Oh, boy. What do you think it is, boy? There's only one wild animal that yells like that. Colon! Was that Colon? It sure was Colon, or Honky. I don't know which. Colon! Right down here by the rippling stream, boys. Be right down. Oh, boy, what do you suppose Colon is doing away out here in this canyon with night coming on? You got me, Al. Maybe he came out here for a picnic and Honky got stubborn again. You reckon he got fired from his job? I don't know, but we'll soon find out. Well, well, well, well. Boy, boy, al, pal, Johnny and Scotty. Hello there, Jerry. Howdy, Jerry. Good to see you, Jerry. Just call me Jerry. Colon, how in the world did you get out of here in this canyon so fast? Fifteen miles from the end of nowhere. This came from nowhere fast, didn't it, Al? Be serious. I've been waiting for you, boys. Well, how did you know we were going to be riding through this canyon, Jerry? The grapevine. Who told you? The Grapes. Colon, stop being silly. No, I can't. My heart is broken. Really? Temporarily. Well, what happened? Dismount, man, and hear my sad story. I guess I might as well camp here for the night as anywhere. Sure, I'm getting hungry anyway. Me too. Colon, why haven't you had your supper? No food. Well, my gosh, it's a good thing we haven't along. Well, ain't it, Jeff? Well, Colon, what happened to you at the WW? I was peremptorily dismissed. What does that mean? Fired. You were thrown off the place? Please, Roy, I have a sensitive nature. But why? I was born that way. I mean, why was you fired? Well, you see that handsome beast there tied to the tree? Honky? That's the same. Royal stole that he is, regarding us with sad, half-lidded, sorrowful eyes. Ah, ah, ah. Talented, too. Well, what about him? Well, I had to make a choice, man. I could have had chicken every Sunday, diamonds, rubies, pedigrees, silkworms, to weave the material for a fine shirt, and a wristwatch with a solid gold band. And you turned all that down? If I hadn't, I could never lick the flap of an envelope again. Why not? The clue might have been the distilled essence of H-O-N-K-E-Y. Ah, ah, ah, ah. That's the beat. Tell the chap who knows every letter in the alphabet. Well, I want to hear this story, Kelowna. But let's get a little supper first. We've got plenty of grub. Johnny, you and Scotty rustle up a little wood for the fire, and Al and I'll get the food ready. Right. Sure, boy. What can I do? Well, Kelowna, you just sit down there on that boulder and compose your story to tell us. Very well. Al, you get the pork and beans out of the side of the... Dave! What's the matter, Kelowna? Sharp rock? No, cold boulder. Ah, I feel better. Ah, me too. Yeah. Yeah. Oop! Now, Kelowna, what was this big choice you had to make? Well, boy, you remember Mrs. Hogan that owned the double W? Sure. Well, she had a sister that lived back east somewhere. Great Neck. She certainly was. Oh, she lived in Great Neck, Long Island. Oh. What about her, Jerry? Well, she had a lot of money. She did? Loaded, and she came out to the double W to visit Mrs. Hogan. And? She got a good look at me. And after they revived her, uh... Well, what's the matter? With the last thing I do, I'll stare you down and I have the eyes to do it with. Al was only kidding you, Jerry. Or was I? I accept the apology. As I was saying, Mrs. Hogan's sister came out to visit at the double W, and her name was Freda Prentice. She was a pretty fine-looking woman, if you like fine-looking women, and I rise to say... I plan to stay a couple of weeks, or maybe longer, Jerry. I'm not sure. I always make my plans completely flexible, so that if there's a reason to stay, I can stay. Clever of you. Do you think so? Oh, but of course, Miss Prentice. Why don't you call me Freda? Freda. Hmm. I like the way you say that, Jerry. And I like the way you say that. Do you really? Oh, certainly. Puts goose-pipples on my goose-pipples. Oh, but how wonderful. I had no idea I affected you that way. I didn't either. Maybe it's this block of ice I'm setting on, huh? But you know, when you brought me out here to the ice house to show me where all the provisions are kept, I didn't really think we'd stay in here to have a chat. That's... we'd better go. Very well, but first I want to ask you a question. Oh, you do? Yes, Freda. What? What is it? Jerry. Well, I... I hardly know how to say this. Go on. I... Yes? Would you mind carrying this leg of lamb into the kitchen? Marty! Marty Montana! Well, howdy, howdy, Jerry. How's things in the kitchen? Very bad. Why? No stove. What? Well, I'm having my little joke. Yeah, very little. I am? Hey, Marty, can we sit down under an old cow or something and talk, huh? As former of the WW, maybe you could give me some advice. Yeah, let's talk right here. But, Marty, you know about Miss Prentice. Oh, naturally. Every cow handle the place does. They do? Why, sure. At the end of yesterday's roundup, we found her in the herd. And what happened? Had her branded before and who she was. Oh. I wonder if that's the reason she ate her supper off the mantel. Oh, you're kidding! What do you want to ask me about, Jerry? Well, do you think... Well, would you believe her if she told you she was in love with you? Well, I didn't. Would you believe her if she told you she was in love with me? Why, sure. Should I believe it? You can do a lot worse, Jerry. How much worse? Now, don't pin me down. What I'm going to say is now is very, very confidential. Well, let me cover my horse's ears right now. She asked me to marry her. No. Yes. And what did you say? Yes? No. Why? Well, I got to thinking I'm too young to get married, then I started counting my birthdays. And? I'm not too young to get married. Then you think you'll accept her proposal? Why not? Who knows when we'll have another visitor? Yeah. Jerry! Yes, love? Oh, Jerry, isn't it wonderful out here under the western moon? Grand, simply grand. You know, we, uh, we have lovely moons in the east, too. Ah, the east, the mysterious east. No, I'm talking about Long Island. Land of the lotus blossom and the slow-eyed girl. Jerry! And the fast-eyed men. Jerry, you're not listening to what I say. Oh, sorry, Frida, I was in a temporary trance. But now listen to me. We have to make some plans. What plans? You propose? I've accepted. We're going to get married tomorrow in Mrs. Hogart's living room. Yes, I know, dear, but then what? City girl, the three of us are going to your house in the east, the mysterious east. Jerry! The land of the lotus blossom. Jerry! The best trance I ever had. Jerry, what do you mean, the three of us? You and me. And who else? Honky. Honky? Shh! Don't speak his name like that. He's standing right there. He can hear you. What do you mean, Honky? Oh! What do you mean, Honky? Why, we're taking him with us. Taking him with us? But of course, love. Oh, that's ridiculous. Honky's the oldest friend I have in the world. But what about me? You're my newest friend. Don't I have anything to say in our family matters? Well, I can't leave Honky behind. You prefer Honky to me, is that it? I didn't say that, love. But you implied it. If it came to a choice between that bossy old donkey, I won't shush. If it came to a choice, you'd choose him before you would me. And after the life of ease I'm going to give you and the wonderful presents... Presents? Anything you want. Well, I've always wanted an ostrich that can count to ten. You will get rid of him. Well, Honky and I'll have a talk. Maybe he'll give me up. Ah! Ah! Ah! Terrence! Yes, Miss Prentice? Terrence, where's Jerry? Well, I thought he'd be saying I'd do to the preacher, but this time, look at the pretty wedding cake I made. Well, I'm not sure we'll need it. But I've worked so hard on it. Oh, I've never been so humiliated in my life. Left waiting at the altar. All by yourself? The living room in there is filled up with guests who came to see me get married, and Jerry doesn't show up. When did you see him last? Well, I saw him last riding down the road on Honky. On Honky? He was going over to Jed Smithers to borrow a tailcoat to marry in. Which way is Smithers? Next ranch to the north. You'll probably meet him on the road. I'd better. Please, Honky, please, please move. I beg you on my knees. Look, you've never done this to me before. Don't you want me to have a life of luxury at ease? Don't you want to see me in fine clothes and a winter cap with mink ear flaps? Don't you want me to be poor and humble all my life? Do you want me to work hard? Do you want me to get old before my time? Do you want me to build a fire under you? Oh, oh, the fur's going to fly now, Honky. Why would it be yours? Well, Casanova. Now, freedom of... Misprest to you, butcher boy. I can explain everything. You couldn't explain your way out of this if you hired the entire firm at Beacon, Benton, Goop, and Barton. Incorporated. Because of your idiocy, I've been subjected to the greatest humiliation of my entire life. Lift at the altar, if you please. But I don't... and it's not my fault. Honky and I are on our way to... Jed's to borrow his tailcoat so we could be married in style. I don't care about the style. I'm just interested in getting married. But Honky won't move. He's a stupid, morthy, and ridiculous caricature of an animal, and he ought to be headed straight for the glue factory this very minute. And if I had my way, he would be. Ah, ah, ah. Frida, you shouldn't have said that. Well, at least I made him move. I know, and you shouldn't have. What's he doing? Honky, honky-donk. Why is he turning around? Honky, don't you dare. You'll be good now. What? I'll give you carrots. What? I'll give you sugar. What, what? Ice cream cones. Double chocolate sundae with whipped cream and nuts and a cherry on top. Ah, no! No! He's not hungry. Oh, that wretched, nasty little fleabag. He's ruined my car. I'll have him shot at sunrise. Oh, not again, Honky. Oh, no! Oh, no! Honky, will you do something? Honky, honky, honky, honky. Honky, honky, honky, honky. Honky, honky, honky, honky. Honky, honky, honky, honky. Honky, honky, honky, honky, honky, honky. Honky, honky, honky, honky, honky. Honky, honky, honky, honky, honky. Honky. That's the way it happened, boys. By the time Honky got through with the car, there wasn't much choice to be made. He and I were out. I suppose Mrs. Hogan fired you, Jerry. Perhap, Charlie. Well, you can't tell, Clona. You may be better off this way. Sure. No danger trying to separate a man from his friend. Of course not. Honky's a naughty boy, but I love him. Just a little bit pokey, but friendly and folksy, my honky little donkey and me. We don't mind the weather, just as long as we're together, we're as happy as we can be. He looks like he's napping, but his ears are flapping as we travel along the trail. He handles the rhythm to each tune that I give him with his feet and the end of his tale. All day long he picks him up and lays him down so neat. We don't have to hurry and we don't have to worry as long as the sun set we be. With his pitter and his patter, not a thing's gonna matter to my pokey little mopey little honky little donkey and me. You know, Jerry, while you were singing about that little critter, I was sitting here watching him. He has a real smart glint in his eye. Oh, very intelligent. You reckon he really did understand all those things she said about him? Well, speak up, honky, did you? Oh, oh, oh. Well, Jerry, it's mighty nice to have you back with us in the All-Star Western Theater again. Well, it's good to be back, boy. There's only one thing that bothers me when I visit you boys here. What's that? It's tripping. Why? Large spurs. Well, keep up right for a few minutes more because there's another song of yours the boys and I want to sing with you after we've heard from our announcer. Righter. Whenever some cowboy would start to brag about his pet horse, it was almost sure to be an old prospector around to tell about his favorite burro, the one that crossed the desert on a teaspoon of water and a mouthful of cactus. Yes, someone always tops a tall story with an even taller one, so it's best to stick to the facts, like the fact that Weber's is good bread, always light as a feather and tender fresh, always evenly baked and appetizing to see. Weber's bread adds flavor to the morning eggs, adds relief to a midnight snack, nourishing too because Weber's bread is enriched with B vitamins for day-long energy. It's a fact the whole family will like Weber's bread. Prove it for yourself. Bio Loaf of Weber's Bread Monday. You'll know it by the famous distinctive blue and white gingham wrapper. All right, Jerry, if you're ready. Yeah, I'm ready. Okay. Good. Folks, the boys and I are going to join Jerry in singing a song he and John Wolf wrote and which is a Capitol records release. It's backed up by Honky Little Donkey, which Jerry also wrote. And the record is a good item for anybody's collection. So here now is Riding the Old Donner Trail. Seekers of gold and lovers of old followed an old mountain trail. The lovers have gone but love still goes on as we travel that old mountain trail. Riding along with the gal at the south over the old donner trail. You're nearer by far to your old lucky star. Riding the old donner trail. Whispering pines breathe a melody. A rippling mountain stream sings the words. Then mother nature blends them in a rhapsody and teaches a song to the bird. If things go wrong get a gal at the south. Follow the old donner trail. Like sweethearts of old you're sure to find gold. Riding the old donner trail. Whispering pines breathe a melody. A rippling mountain stream sings the words. Then mother nature blends them in a rhapsody and teaches a song to the bird. If things go wrong get a gal at the south. Follow the old donner trail. Like sweethearts of old you're sure to find gold. Riding the old donner trail. Riding the old donner trail. Well that winds things up for this time friends. We're always glad when you can be with us and we invite you to join us again next week. Before we go our thanks again to Jerry Colonna and Monty Montana for being with us and also to Lois Carbiet who was Miss Prentice in our story. This is Boy Willing speaking for Al Sloy, Johnny Paul and Scotty Harrell, the writers of the Purple Sage, saying so long and the best of luck to all of you. From Hollywood you've heard your all-star Western theater, V.M. Baird Productions starring America's great Western singers, Boy Willing and the writers of the Purple Sage. The script was written and directed by Scott Farnworth. This is Terry O'Sullivan speaking. The all-star Western theater came to you by transcription. Listen again next week at this same time for your all-star Western theater which came to you from Columbia Square. This is KNX in Los Angeles.
