Ranger Bill, Warrior of the Woodland. Ranger Bill, Warrior of the Woodland. Struggling against extreme odds, traveling dangerous trails, showing rare courage in the face of disaster. In the air. On horseback. Or in a screaming squad car. Ranger Bill, his mind alert, a ready smile, unswerving, loyal to his mission. And all this in exchange for the satisfaction and pride of a job well done. Sure is a lazy day. I'll say, ever since Bill and Grey Wolf left yesterday, things sure have been quiet. What do you suppose Colonel Anders wanted, Stumpy? I don't know, I'm sure. All I know is that I'm glad he didn't want me. His weather is too hot to make any kind of trip in. You ended with that sentence with a preposition. I what? You ended that sentence with a preposition. Well how could I do that? I don't even know what a preposition is. Ha ha, don't you really? Oh, of course I do. I don't know where you young whippersnappers get the idea. You know everything. Okay, what's a preposition? Figure you're gonna trap me, huh young fella? I'm gonna try. Okay. A preposition is the kind of word that tells how one thing stacks up against another. Like over, under, near, with, or the one I used in. How's that? Oh, I don't know what my English teacher would say about it. But I think you're right. And I apologize from the bottom of my heart for doubting your great storehouse of knowledge. I've been to school in my time too, you know. I believe it. But I just can't seem to picture you in a classroom. You seem so, well so... Stupid? No, no. I just mean you don't seem like the studious type. I hardly ever see you reading. Well, in this work we hardly ever have time to look into a book. Except in those that have something to do with the work and of course the Bible. I guess so. Oh boy, today sure is a hot, lazy day. Turn on that radio and see what the weather report is. It should be coming on right about now. Okay. You know, I was just thinking, it's almost even too hot for me to play my harmonica. I agree. Way too hot for that. Locally, continued hot with the temperature getting into the upper 90s. Not even a breeze in the offing. Of course if everyone on the north side of Naughty Pine would stand out on their lawn and wave big blankets, we might be able to start a breeze that would cool the rest of the town off. Hey, that's a good idea. Especially since we're on the south side. I'm sure all of you on the south side of town would think that's a pretty good idea. We sure do. Anyhow, the weatherman shows no mercy for the next 24 hours at least. High temperatures all ranging in the 90s. Humidity stands at 36 percent and no recordable breeze at all at the present. This is good forest fire weather, my friends. Keep that in mind when you're out trying to enjoy the elements. Well, so much for the weather. Now here's a top tune as selected by the poll of... That's all I need. What are those so-called hot numbers on this hot day? That shows how far behind the times you are, Stumpy. They call it cool now. Cool, huh? Sounds the same to me, hot, cool. What a way to talk about music anyway. Why you have to admit, some cool music would be welcome on a hot day like this. Not if it's hot music in disguise, it wouldn't. Stumpy, you're so logical. Sometimes it kills me. Sure, sure. This peace and quiet is killing me. It's killing me, too. How about some noise and action? I don't know who you address that there remark to, but whoever it was wasn't listening. Yeah? You wouldn't be as anxious for noise and such if you'd had an experience like I had once, when I was younger, that is. Oh? Yes, sir. You'd be plenty satisfied with every golden minute of silence if you'd gone through what I went through with Marty Patton. Who's Marty Patton? Want to hear the story? Oh, is it just one of your stories? What else have you got to do? You just listen to it and you decide if it's just one of my stories. This here happened when I was a lot younger. Already I can't imagine it. Yes, sir, either I was a young whippersnapper going to one of them school town animal and plant life conservation in one of them big cities. What one of them big cities? Now do you want to hear the story or not? Okay, go ahead. Well, like I was saying, there I was studying all about how to keep animals and plants alive. Hello there, Mr. Jenkins. You're home early. It's such a hot day I decided to come on home instead of sitting in that stuffy old library. Don't blame me a bit. I think it's a sin and a shame to coop all you students up in a musty old place like that. I know a lot of the students that agree with you, Mrs. Kelly. Ah, but the youngsters don't seem to mind the heat. Oh, that's true enough. They never do. You seem to have a quite way with Mr. Jenkins. I suppose that's because you're from a small town, eh? Well, that might have something to do with it. I like kids fine. I suppose I like what they come out with about most of all. Oh? Yeah, like the other day I was visiting one of the teachers over at that conservation school I'm going to. When I got there to his house, he was asleep on the couch. I didn't know it, of course, and so I asked if he was home. And one of his little ones, just as quick as could be, ran into the front room and over to him and lifted up his eyelid and took a long look. Then came back to me and said, yep, he's still in there. Oh, you're joking with me, aren't you? Well, maybe a bit. Oh, I'll be sorry to see you go back, West, to where it is that you're from. Not whole or something, isn't it? Not Epine, ma'am. I knew it was something like that. Well, I'll be sorry to leave, especially all the boys and girls. I know one child in this neighborhood you won't be sorry to see a last of. Who's that? Marty Patton. Oh, I'll have to admit to you that young Mr. Patton and I don't seem to hit it off very well. But then who does with him? Ain't it the truth? His folks are a nice lot, or he wouldn't have them in the building. Every year I hope he'll grow up. Well, Mrs. Kelly, I don't think it'll happen this year. No, I guess not. It's a shame that they live right above you. Must make your stay just a little unpleasant. But then you're not the complaining kind, so I don't suppose you'd tell me if there was any trouble. Well, there really hasn't been anything in the way of trouble, ma'am. He tied a rope across my door once to trip me, but I've been through the woods out West often enough to look out for such things. And when that and a couple of other tricks didn't work, he just seemed to give up. Well, that's a blessing. But talking about upstairs, that's just where I'd better be going. I've got this whole book to get through before tomorrow. If I don't get started, it'll be a lost cause. Oh, sure is hot. Hard to concentrate on all this stuff. Wonder why I didn't open the window. That's a little better. Now, maybe I could... What are those ropes hanging down by this window? Maybe I can see if I lean out a bit. Some sort of pulley affair on the roof up there. Big truck down there in the street. Oh, well, this ain't getting that book read. Oh, let's see. The mighty oak. Wouldn't I like one to sit on the right about now? Where I could get an acorn. Come on in. It ain't locked. That is the Patton apartment. No, they live upstairs. Wouldn't you know it. Top floor every time. Top floor what? Mac, I'm a piano mover. In this city, only people who live on top floors of apartment buildings play pianos. Can I use your window? My what? Window. Window. Right over there. You ain't figuring on... What I'm going to do is to tell my fellow union members that the piano goes up on the top floor. Oh, of course. Go ahead. Next one up. Top floor. As usual. Yeah, that's right. Get at it. Thanks, Mac. Sure enough. I should have been rich instead of good looking. Some poor fellas just don't... Wait a minute. A piano? Upstairs? Oh no! And that piano came right through the window? Yep. It seemed pretty funny to talk about it now, but at the time it sure wasn't. Well what happened? Oh, for a while I got a shower every time it rained. You see, the insurance company and the piano movers are all in a sort of disagreement about who was supposed to pay for the damage. Boy, that's rich. What did Marty Patton start taking piano lessons? Well, we were never too sure about who took who. Either he took them lessons or they took him. And compared to that piano crashing through the window, this was catastrophic. Every day for a couple of hours it was la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. The blue jay has... The blue jay has... Oh, how's a body gonna concentrate with that going on? It's not like the needle stock. Huh. You'd think someone would tell him that you don't go out of piano with mittens on. Where was I? Oh yeah. The blue jay... Oh, who cares about that old blue jay? What I need is a friendly woodpecker. Where's that old broom of mine? Maybe if I bang on the ceiling he'll take the hit and go play ball or something. Oh, here it is. Hey! Hey up there! Hey! Hey, Jose, disturb me! How about taking a little rest? Must practice with his earplugs in. Coward. Well, this isn't getting me anywhere. So I'll just have to go up there myself and settle this whole thing. Yes? Oh, Mr. Jenkins, can we do something for you? Didn't you hear me banging on the ceiling? What's that? I'm sorry, just a minute. Martin! Martin! I wonder if you'd mind waiting a minute, dear. Mr. Jenkins from downstairs is here and I can't quite hear him. Thank you. Now, Mr. Jenkins, what was it you were trying to say? I said didn't you hear me banging down there? Oh, my, no. But that's perfectly all right. We're making quite a bit of noise up here ourselves and it won't bother us a bit. Wow, she didn't even know what you meant. Nope. I think some folks only understand what they want to and that's all. So Marty went right on playing the piano? If that's what you want to call it. He dropped everything else, practiced on and off all afternoon, all evening. You never knew when it would start. Well, didn't anyone try to stop him? I mean, didn't the neighbors all complain? Oh, we all wanted to, but we felt kind of ashamed. Ashamed? Well, we figured that his folks had to put up with it same as we did and they weren't giving in or out. We thought that maybe we weren't showing proper respect to young talent. So you all put up with it? For a while at least. Oh? One night when we knew that the whole Patton family was out, a couple of the fellas living at that place and me, we went up the fire escape to the Patton apartment and untuned the piano. No. Yep. I know, I know, but we figured that this was an emergency. Well what happened? Nothing. Nothing? Not a thing. They never even noticed that the piano was out of tune. You may think that was funny, but I didn't at the time. I was getting desperate. I was getting farther and farther behind in my studying and it didn't look like he was going to give up. Well, young Master Jenkinson, how are you this fine day? It's getting the worst of me, Mrs. Callie. I thought you were looking a bit pale these days. Studies are hard, eh? Studies are no harder than they ever were. Oh, begging your pardon, ma'am. I'm a little worked up. It's that young man upstairs who's trying to play that piano. Oh? You should be glad that you're on the first floor and don't have to listen to that banging and thumping and all them almost chords. I had no idea. I know Mrs. Peterson said something about the noise, but you know her. She complains all the time. But if you complain, well, there must be some. Good reason. You tried talking to them about it. I tried everything and nothing's worked. I even tried to bribe them. You what? That's right. I saw him heading upstairs the other day and figured he was going to have another go at them keys. So I gave him 50 cents and told him to have a good time at the dime store or something. That was very generous of him. I was desperate. Well, what happened? Oh, he tore up down the stairs as fast as he could go. I figured I'd fix things for the afternoon. But before long, I heard him charging back up the stairs again. I stepped out in the hall and asked him if he was done so soon. Having a good time, that is. And? Oh, yeah. He tells me, I just went down to the store to buy a new book of scales. Thanks a lot. And off he goes up the stairs. And off I go, a broken man. Oh, Mr. Jenkins, you're exaggerating. You get along so well with children. Not this one. Well, you have to admit, he's really sticking at it. But he don't get no better. He runs through that music like a blindfolded dog in a meat house. I think I'll get over to the drugstore and see if Mr. Perkins has any of that headache powder. Of course, as you say, I'm not on the next floor. So I really don't know. But I think all of you are exaggerating this whole thing. Mrs. Kelly, under normal circumstances, I'm a calm, easy-going sort of fella. But if that Marty Patton don't soon get a whole lot better or a whole lot quieter, I'm going to have to be carried out of here in a butterfly net. Oh, good afternoon, Mr. Jenkins. What can Perkins and Sun Drugs, Cosmetics, and various other articles do for you this afternoon? I'm after one of them various other articles, and if they don't work, I'll try the drugs. Headache, Mr. Jenkins? What have you got that'll... Cure you of piano lessons? Huh? How'd you know about that? I think you got the idea from me. Al Peterson, are you here after the same thing? That's right. And you two make the fourth and fifth persons who have come in here within the last week from your building. How's business, Mr. Perkins? Fine, fine. I'm thinking of trying to convince all the little children in the neighborhood apartment buildings to take up instruments. I might be able to retire years ahead of time on the profit from aspirins alone. Al Peterson, what are we going to do about Marty Patton and all that noise? I don't know. Everything we've tried has failed. I tried to buy him off the other day. You too? Mm-hmm. I saw him heading for that apartment and that piano, so I stopped him and gave him a dollar and... All I had was 50 cents. He used your money the way he used mine. Music? Yeah. Well, cheer up, man. You're not alone. I've heard practically the same story from everyone who has come in here. Everyone has been paying for the music they don't want to hear. Perkins, don't you have a customer to wait on or something? Me? No, no, no. I've got a lot... Well, maybe I'd better check a little stock in the back. You'd better make sure all of those various other articles are still there. Yes, yes. Well, if there's anything you need, just... If only that Marty would stick to some sort of regular practice time instead of a little here and a little there. His mother says he needs to be inspired. We've got to think of something. Good morning. Good morning, Mrs. Patton. We were just... I mean, what can I do for you? I really wanted to see these two gentlemen, Mr. Perkins, but you can listen, too, if you want to. He wants to. Yeah, we're fine. You wanted to see us, Mrs. Patton? That's right. What good luck to run into both of you together. Well, what can we do for you? Well, it's about Marty. Something's happened to him? Oh, no, nothing like that. Oh. It's just that we, Marty and I, would like to show our appreciation to all of you fine neighbors. Excuse me, ma'am, but do you mind if I sit down here on this stool while you go on? Not at all. Now, you were saying something about showing appreciation... To us fine neighbors. That's right. A number of you have been so kind as to give my little Martin money, with which to buy more sheet music and some practice books. Yes, Mr. Perkins. We were delighted, too. Somehow, we thought that Martin's music might be a bother to the neighborhood, but this general approval has banished all our fears. And that's why we'd like to invite you all to the concert. A concert? Yes, a concert. Martin's been practicing many hours on the music that you all have been so kind as to give him, and we feel that with a few more days' work, he'll be ready to play all of it for you. A concert for us? By that little... your son? I'd like to hear that myself, Mrs. Patton. If I'd contribute one song, do you think I'd be able to come? Of course, Mr. Perkins. Goodie. The more, the merrier. And it will be a merry evening. We'll look forward to seeing you all first for dinner and then a concert by Martin on this coming Saturday evening. Oh, we'll be there. We sure will, Mrs. Patton. With bells on. Here's the piano music I promised, Mrs. Patton. Why, thank you, Mr. Perkins. Don't forget Saturday. Yes, Martin is really polishing up on all those pieces, Mr. Peterson. I hope you and your wife will be with us on Saturday. I'll be there. My wife is on a visit to her sisters in Vermont for a while. Oh, how long will she be gone? I don't know. I'm so surprised at Martin's progress, Mr. Jenkins. He's really anxious to do a good job at the concert tomorrow night. That's nice. Haven't you even noticed a great improvement? I mean from downstairs? Well to tell you the truth, Mrs. Patton, I've been spending a lot of time out in the park these days. That was a good meal, Mrs. Patton. Yes, indeed, Mrs. Patton. You must give my wife the recipe for that fluffy stuff we had for dessert. It was simply scrumptious. Yeah, it was pretty good. Oh, I'm so glad you all liked it. It was nothing really. Oh, look at him sitting over there by the piano, all ready for his big moment. Yeah, I noticed. Uh-huh. Well, why don't we all sit down and enjoy the concert? Concert time, everybody. I might as well get up. I'll sit over here in this corner. For the first number, Martin will play the beautiful blue Danube. Go ahead, dear. I can't figure it out either, Peterson. It's been quiet up there most of the day. This is the second day of silence. I know. Usually, by now, the chandelier in my apartment would be swinging back and forth. It drove my wife almost crazy before she left for Vermont. When's she coming back? Oh, a few more days of quiet like this one, and she'll be back in a flash. I wonder why he isn't beating that thing. You don't suppose... Now, this is just an outside chance. But you don't suppose that that concert Saturday night convinced them to give up, do you? Not a chance. Life doesn't work out like that, except in stories. I know, but... Hmm. Probably somebody else wondering what's happened to Martin. Come in. Is this the... Oh, it's you again. It's a piano mover. What are you doing here? What do you think? Are you bringing your piano in or taking one out? Mac, in my line of work, you can depend on two things. People who want pianos in apartment buildings always live on the top floor, and they never keep the piano for very long. Can I use your window? Hey, you're not thinking... Are we gonna go through this again? He just wants to shout to his crew down below. Oh. One more floor up. Let's get it out. I don't believe it. I don't believe it. Excuse me. The door was open. May I come in? Yes, please. Come in, come in, Mrs. Patton. Oh, Mrs. Patton. Yes? We're here to take that piano. Oh, fine. We're right upstairs, and the door's open. Yeah, thanks. If I'd been born rich, instead of good-looking, why could I have somebody move my piano? I, uh... well, I hardly know where to begin. Would you sit down, Mrs. Patton? Get her a chair, Peterson. Yes, of course. Here, Mrs. Patton. Thank you. Now, what's all this about? The piano going? Oh, dear. I knew it would be hard to tell you, after all the encouragement you've all been. Well, I might just as well come right out with it. Martin is quitting. Is that so? You don't say. We were just sick about it, the way the concert came off, and... well, even Martin agreed that the piano was not for him. Oh, Mrs. Patton, I'd really like to hear more of this, but if you'll excuse me, I've got a long-distance call. Oh, this is certainly surprising news. I know. Well, we can't always tell how things are going to work out, can we? Sure can't. Well, I guess I'll be going. There really isn't very much more to say. Well, thank you for coming down, Mrs. Patton. I hope you'll feel better about all of this soon. Oh, I believe I will in time. Right now, it's all a little hard to believe. It sure is. I can hardly believe it myself. Hey, is this the Patton apartment? I'm Mrs. Patton. We live upstairs. What is it? I just wanted to know where you wanted these drums delivered. Drums? Drums? Oh, didn't I mention that? Patton seems to have a certain flair for rhythm. We thought possibly drums would bring it out. Mr. Jenkins! Mr. Jenkins! Did that really happen to you, Stumby? Well, now, what do you think, young feller? I don't know. I told you you'd appreciate the peace and quiet of this country once you'd heard that story. Well, I do agree with that. I don't think I like big city living. Yep. Give me the peace and quiet of this little old town of Naughty Pine. With no one to play the piano. Or the drums. Right. Or you can just sit back, relax. And play your harmonica if you want to. Harmonica? Harmonica? Oh, no! I'm not playing the harmonica! Well, boys and girls, as you can see, once in a while we just plain have a little fun around the ranger station. Of course, when there's work to be done, the horseplay stops. I hope you've managed to keep a lot of both in your life. Well, see you all next week for more Adventure with Ranger Bill! Adventure Bill was produced in the radio studios of the Moody Bible Institute in Chicago.
