The man in the saddle is angular and long-legged. His skin is sundyed brown. The gun in his holster is gray steel and rainbow mother of pearl. Its handle, on marked. People call them both. The sick shooter. James Stewart as the sick shooter. A transcribed series of radio dramas based on the life of Grit Ponson, the Texas Plainsman who wandered through the western territories leaving behind a trail of still remembered legends. How rock sure was spruced up. Flags on almost every building, a big banner stretched all the way across Main Street. All the way from the roof of the hotel to the top of the Wickford Bank. Franklin County Fair, that's what it said. Prizes, rodeo, free barbecue, Saturday, August 20th, come one, come all. Well, tomorrow would be the 20th. I'd come to town a day earlier and be sure to get in the room. Good thing I did too. Only one left is on the second floor, the livery stable side of the hotel at that. I put my clean shirt in the dresser drawer and headed downstairs. The clock in the lobby said 315. Well, that meant I had time to sort of give Tower Rock the once over before supper. Thought maybe I'd wander over and see how Kermit and Rome were getting along. But just as I was crossing the street I saw Rome come out of the front door. Rome! Hey! Hey, Rome! Oh, Britt! Well, well, well, finally decided to put in an appearance, huh? How are you? I'm fine, Rome. Fine. I'm just on my way over to see you. You're not running short of cash, are you, Britt? No, no, no. No, this is going to be a social call. Not that I'm flush or anything like that. You're coming to town for the fair, huh? Yeah, yeah. I haven't been to one since I don't know when. I figured Dad Morgan's cattle would do without me for a few days, so. Well, how are things to you, Rome? Oh, so, so, so, so. Oh, yeah. Bessie, is she all right? Oh, pretty well, pretty well. Kermit and Thelma? I guess they're all right. You what? You guess? I ain't inquired lately. Well, I better get moving. I told Bessie I'd pick her up at the schoolhouse. She's on the decorating committee. I'll see you later, Britt. Yeah. Yeah, I'll see you. Hmm. Well, I sure couldn't figure out what was the matter with Rome. Boy, he froze up when I mentioned Kermit. They'd always been more like kin than in-laws. Folks said it sure was lucky for the Wickford girls to marry two fellows who got along so well, especially after Jess Wickford died and left the bank to both his daughters fifty-fifty, he looked at. Kermit and Rome had turned into first-class bankers, too. The Wickford bank probably all was worth about twice as much now than it was when Jess had run. Well, hello, Britt. Where'd you come from? Hmm? Oh, Kermit. Oh, I was just thinking about you. About me? Yeah, well, I ran into Rome a minute ago. I suppose he was shooting off his mouth again. What? Well, no. I just don't believe everything you hear, Britt. There's two sides to every story. Remember that. Sure, Kermit. Well, I gotta be running along. Thelma was at the schoolhouse waiting for me to fetch her home. Well, you could have saved yourself a trip. Huh? Well, that's where Rome was heading to get Bessie. He could have picked her up. Well, I'm at the same time. Why, you don't think they'd ride in the same buggy, do you? Huh? Well, I'll probably see you at the fair tomorrow. So long. Oh, yeah, sure. So long. Well, there just wasn't any doubt about it. There's something that happened between the Binghams and the Madden, that's all. There must have been something pretty serious, too, the way Kermit and Roman had been acting. And knowing Thelma and Bessie like I did, I sure was glad I wasn't involved in that. But they were real, firm women. Thelma and Bessie, yeah, always had been, ever since they were girls. I couldn't help wondering just what had set them off. Not that it was any of my business, of course, but I... Well, Otis Spear did know. Yeah, being the justice of the peace and the local undertaker, he knew almost everything that went on in Foster County. You ain't never seen nothing like it, Brit, the way they've been behaving. Why, they even spoke to each other for the past two months. You don't say. Take turns going to church. One Sunday the Binghams attend services, next Sunday the Maddens, just so Thelma and Bessie won't meet up. Oh, that's the darned... I can't believe it. Well, there ain't the half, Brit, not the half. You remember the social sixteen? You know them couples who always got together and played wist on Friday nights? Yeah. Well, ain't the social sixteen no more. The Binghams pulled out, the McDaniels and Johnsons and the Potters, they left at the same time. We've got two social elites now. Two social... You mean this foolishness has gone beyond Thelma and Bessie? Other folks are taking sides to them? Well, see, they are. The whole town is split right down the middle. Well, I never heard of such a thing. Well, how did it start, anyway? Well, last May, last May, that was the beginning. Thelma's birthday is the first week of May. Her sister Bessie, just a year young, almost to the day of her birthday, is the tenth or eleventh, right in there somewhere. Well, it seems Kermit bought his wife a new surrey for a birthday present, had it shipped all the way out from Kansas City. Thelma sure was proud, too. Well, you can't blame her. It was just about the nicest carriage this town had ever seen. The nicest, until it came time for Rome to give Bessie her present the following week. You don't mean he bought Bessie a surrey, too? Yeah, yeah, that's what he did. Even fancier than the one Kermit gave to Thelma. Yep, a whole lot fancier. Red leather seats with real springs in them, a white top and painted white wheels. Of course, Rome said it was just a coincidence that he'd ordered Bessie surrey long before he found out that's what Kermit was giving to Thelma. Well, and it sounds reasonable, too, he could have done that. Yeah, some folks think so, and some don't. Kermit and Thelma claimed it was just plain spite work. The Roman Bessie had always been jealous of them. Anyhow, that surrey business just seemed to set everybody off, especially the women. Oh, being sisters, I guess they'd had their grievances before, but they'd always held them back. Now they just let fly in all directions. Why, Thelma's even going to... What? What were you going to say, Otis? Nothing, nothing. Say, you're going to stay for the fair, aren't you? Oh, yeah, sure, that's why I'm here. Well, I was thinking, maybe you wouldn't mind helping me out. Uh-huh, what? You see, I'm general chairman of the whole doings, and I've got almost everything set, except for some of the judging. Well, I'm not much of an authority, but I guess I can tell a cow from a horse. Oh, no, no, no, no, we are all fixed up in that department, but the baked goods and preserves and pickles, well, I just haven't been able to find the right person to hand out the blue ribbons there. Oh, well, I don't know anything about cooking, Otis. Well, you know about tasting, don't you? Oh, yeah. Well, that's sort of got to do, Brett. Sample whatever they put in front of you and say which one tastes the best. Oh, no, wait, wait a minute. I'll tell you what, I'll just put you down for preserves. I'll get somebody else to take over the rest of the stuff. No, but... Well, I've got to meet with the barbecue committee over at the general store. You'll be at the schoolhouse at nine o'clock in the morning. That's when the judges are supposed to start. But why, Otis, why... It was the idea of me giving out blue ribbons for preserves. Why, I couldn't tell peach from grape if it wasn't for the color. Well, the one that only sends me standing here in the funeral parlor worrying about us. So I went back to the hotel to fix up for supper. Yeah, who is it? Bessie Maddenbrett. Oh, well, just a second. Well, won't you come in, Bessie? Thanks. Hey, well, you're looking well. Oh, so are you, Britt, so are you. My goodness, I don't think I've ever seen you look better. No, now, Bessie... Well, now, what I come by for is to pick you up and take you over to our house for supper. Oh. You don't have no other plans, do you? No, no, I was just going to eat here at the hotel. Oh, you don't think we'd let you eat at the hotel, Britt? Well, you're one of our closest friends, always have been. Well, I... I don't know why Rome didn't invite you when you met up this afternoon. Guess he just took it for granted that you'd know I'd be expecting you. We're having fried chicken, hot biscuits, some of my strawberry preserves. You do like chicken, don't you, Britt? Oh, oh, sure, sure. Well, what are we waiting for? I've got Missouri outside, not the catwalk. Oh, oh, excuse me, Bessie. Oh, of course, Britt, of course. Britt, well, I just heard that you were in Tower Rock, and I wanted to tell you Kermit and I are expecting you for supper. Now, I won't take no for an... Oh. Oh, I thought you were alone. Didn't mean to interrupt anything. You're a little late, Selma. Britt's having supper with Rome and me. Might have expected you'd pull a stunt like this, Bessie Madden. Trying to bribe him, huh? Bribe ladies. And I suppose you didn't ask him to supper yourself. This is one time you can't lie out of it, though. I heard you with my own voice. There's no reason I shouldn't ask him. Britt's a friend of mine. A friend of yours? But you've never put yourself out for him before, not once in your whole life. And since when were you so interested in his welfare? Selma. Some minute you found out he was going to be judging the preserves tomorrow. That's when. Preserved? As if I had any cost to try and influence him. My strawberry preserves have won first prize at a county fair for the last ten years. Yes, but I have never entered against you before. I let you win. But this time it's going to be different. You're just making a fool of yourself, Selma. You couldn't cook up a strawberry preserve if your life depended on it. I've got Mama's recipe, too, and don't you forget it. Now hold on, here, now. Now, I want to get this straight. Now, both of you have entered your strawberry preserves in the fair tomorrow. I've entered my preserves. I can't speak for her. Well, mine will be there, too. Don't you worry about that. And I'm supposed to judge between them, is that it? Oda Spears said you'd agreed to do it. That's right. Well, Rit. Just wait till I get my hands on Oda Spears. Now, Act Two of The Six Shooter, starring James Stewart as Britt Ponson. Well, I told Selma and Bessie that I couldn't have supper with either one of them. As a matter of fact, I kind of plain lost my appetite, I guess. It did take me a while to get rid of them, though. Both of them kept lagging behind, wanting to get the last word in. But finally they went home. Well, Oda Spears wasn't at the funeral parlor, so I went over to Witta Berkeley's boarding house where he lived and waited for him. It was after nine o'clock before he showed up. Miss Berkeley had already gone to bed, and I heard the front door open. So I'm headed for the hall steps. Just hold on, Otis. Oh, oh, Britt. What are you doing here? I just wanted you to know that I won't be judging any preserves tomorrow. What? You heard me, Otis. But, but, Britt, you promised you'd do it. I didn't promise any such kind of a thing. And I don't appreciate your trying to get me in the middle of this feud between Selma Bingham and Bessie Madden, either. Oh, you, you found out, huh? I sure did. Well, they were over to see me, both of them. I never heard such a hand squabble in my whole life. Well, I told you this thing between them was serious. Well, there were a few things you didn't tell me, like the fact that they're both entering strawberry preserves at the doings tomorrow. Now, now, Britt, you don't understand it. I understand, all right. You didn't want to tackle the job of judging those preserves yourself, so you shifted on me. I understand, all right. I couldn't judge them, Britt. Don't you see? Whichever way I was to choose had make enemies a half the folks in town. The Berrien business would drop off 50 percent. Now, Otis, not that much. Yeah, but, but you're an impartial judge, Britt. You ain't taking no sides on this, Fracus, yet. And what's more, I don't intend to, either. Well, of course, that's the way you feel. If you want Thelma and Bessie to go on feuding, then you won't do nothing to stop it. Well, I sure don't see how my judging their preserves have anything to do with ending their fight. It's this way, Britt. You're the sex shooter. Everybody in Tower Rock likes you and respects you, and they all know you ain't got no extra grind in this affair. So, whatever decision you hand it down, they'd have to accept it, both Thelma and Bessie. No, maybe they would, maybe they wouldn't. Oh, they would, all right. Now, what I'm getting at is this, Britt. Folks have forgotten about the two stories, but now the argument's going way past that. And these here preserves have just about become the, the, the, the crux of the matter. You see, Bessie's always been known for making the best strawberry preserves in the whole county. They're her cheap claim to fame, you might say. Why, she's even cooked blue ribbons at the state fair. Oh, that's, uh... And nobody's even thought of entering against her, not for years and years. Not until this year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Now, if Thelma's preserve should be judged better than Bessie's, well, that'll mean Thelma's beat her on her own ground. Bessie wouldn't have a leg to stand on. She'd just have to admit that Thelma won out, and that, well, that might settle the trouble between them. You think that'd be best, Otis, for Thelma's preserves to win? Well, not necessarily. You see, if Bessie should take the blue ribbon again, that'll sort of show everybody that she's still top dog, in the preserve line, anyway. And folks who've been supporting Thelma might, uh, swing over to Bessie's side. And that might settle everything, too. The way, the way you've got to figure it out, it wouldn't matter who wins. Either way, the fight would be over, is that right? That's right. That's it, exactly. Well, of course, it's possible that Thelma's taking first prize might just make Bessie madder than ever, and sort of add fuel to the fire. And it's possible that if Bessie was to win again, well, vice versa. Vice versa, yeah. I'd say it's more than possible. I'd say it's likely. Oh, now, Britt, you mustn't, you mustn't look on the dark side. I'm absolutely certain that if you make the right decision tomorrow, you'll land this whole thing once and for all. Thelma and Bessie will go back to being fond of each other, and Tower Rock can have a little peace and quiet for change. I see. And just what is the right decision, Otis? What? That's easy, Britt. It is, huh? Well, sure. All you have to do is, uh, is give the blue ribbon to whichever one made the best taste in preserves. You don't think we're running a crooked county fair, do you? Well, sir, I never saw a fellow like Otis Spears. He could talk circles around a Philadelphia lawyer. Well, finally I saw that if I was going to get any sleep at all that night, I'd just have to give in. But I made up my mind to one thing. I wasn't going to have Thelma or Bessie turning on me, either one of them. I was going to say that their preserves tasted exactly the same and call it a tie. And that way there wouldn't be any harm done, and I'd be leaving things just the way I found them. Of course, I didn't tell Otis what I was planning to do or anything. I just promised that I'd meet him at the schoolhouse in the morning. Good. I knew you'd come around, Britt. When you saw how much I needed you, I knew you couldn't let me down. Well, Otis, I... I'll walk you to the door. Never mind, never mind. Have fun the way out. Good night. Good night, Britt. See you tomorrow. Yeah. Oh, well, say... Uh-huh? There was one thing I forgot to tell you that sort of slipped my mind. Oh, what's that? In case you have any trouble deciding as to whose preserves are the best, well, there couldn't be a tie. Eh, there couldn't be. Why not? Oh, well, you could call it a tie, but that would still mean that Thelma had won. How's that? Well, don't you see, Britt? If Thelma's strawberry preserves are just as good as Bessie's, well, folks would think that Thelma had been letting her sister win all these years by not contesting with her before. No, no tie would be the same as giving the prize to Thelma. You do see that, don't you? Huh? Uh, yes. Uh, sure. Oh, well, so long. So long, Britt. And may the best woman win. Britt. Oh, Britt. Oh. Oh, hello, Kermit. You're up pretty late, aren't you? Yeah, yeah. I've been looking for you. For me? Oh. Yeah, well, Britt, I think this quarrel between Thelma and Bessie and between Rome and me and all the rest of it is, well, I think it's gone entirely too far. You do? Well, I'm glad to hear you say so. But if Bessie and Rome won't come to their senses, well, they've just got to be taught a lesson. Maybe Thelma's right. Maybe the fair tomorrow is the place to do it. Why? Well, at least everybody will be there to see Bessie when she gets her comeuppance. That is, if Thelma's strawberry preserves win. Well, what I'm getting at is this. Now, Thelma's just got to win, Britt. If she don't, my life will just be miserable. And Thelma's got a real knack for making me miserable. Hello, Britt. Oh, hello, Rome. Hope you don't mind my waiting here in your room, but I just had to see you. Bessie sent me. Well, it was the same thing over again from Rome, except that he was a little more forceful than Kermit. After he'd gone, I tried to get some sleep, but all night long I just kept dreaming about strawberry preserves, jars and jars of strawberry preserves. Anyway, I finally woke up. It was after seven o'clock, nearly three hours after my usual getting-up time. I didn't feel very rested either. I got dressed and I stopped off at Gravy Gibson's Cafe for some breakfast, nothing I could eat very much. Then I started off in the direction of the schoolhouse. The judging was already underway when I got there. And the second prize goes to Mrs. Hal Spital for her Devil's Food Gate. Honorable mention to Mrs. Johnny Seals for her chocolate layer. Honorable mention to Miss Addie Simpson for her sponge. Now, let's see, the next item is, oh yes, yes, preserves, preserves. I don't see, oh, there he is. All right, right up here, Britt, right up here. There he is. Excuse me, my good partner. Well, folks, I guess you all know Britt Ponson. Well, Britt has been kind enough to volunteer his services in judging the preserves. Now, let's see, I believe there are, well, only two entries. Yeah, that's right, two. Both strawberry. Quite a coincidence. Well, the first entry, first entry is submitted by Mrs. Bessie Madden. Bessie Madden. And the second entry comes from Mrs. Thelma Bingham. Now, I'll just unscrew the caps on these jars. Hey, goodness gracious, Miss Madden doesn't know her own, oh, there we are. Now, you can just use a spoon, they own a table bread, it's clean. All right, if you're ready, here's the first jar, Mrs. Bessie Madden. Thanks, Otis. Hey, Britt, be careful. Oh, golly, I don't know how that happened, Otis. I thought I had a good firm grip on it. Well, I sure am sorry. I'll bet you were. Yeah, well folks, it seems we had a little accident up here. Mrs. Madden's preserves are kind of divided between the floor and Britt's trousers. I just don't know what we can do under the circumstances. Looks like, yeah, we'll have to rule that there's only one entry available for tasting. You just rule, no such thing, Otis Spears. I've got another jar of my preserves right out in the hall. Oh, another jar? Well, I'm figuring there might be a clip-up somewhere. I'll be right back. Well, that was sure far-sighted of Bessie, wasn't it, folks? Well, while we're waiting, Britt can go ahead and taste Mrs. Bingham's jar. Here you are, Britt. I'll hold it for you. Just spoon right in. Well, uh... Mm-hmm. Yeah, now. And I'd appreciate it if you'd see that nothing happens to this one, Otis. Don't worry, Bessie, don't you worry. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that one came off a little easier. All right, Britt, these are Mrs. Madden's. Go right ahead. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. Well, you had enough? Yeah, yeah. I've had enough. All right, folks, all right. Quiet down, quiet down. Britt Ponsiddy is ready to announce his decision. Well, it's my opinion that I want to be sure of one thing first. Now, I understand that my job is to say whose preserves taste the best, right? I'm supposed to pick the best-tasting strawberry preserves in the whole county. Is that right, Otis? That's right, Britt, that's right. All right, then. Now, these preserves of Mrs. Madden's, they're very good. I... Now, you might say they're excellent. But I've had better. Now, there's no doubt about it, I've tasted better. And right here this morning, too, right here in Tower Rock. Now, Mrs. Bingham's preserves here, now, they're good. No, no, they're more than good. They're excellent, too. But they're not the best. Ladies and gentlemen, to me, the best-tasting strawberry preserves in Foster County are the ones I ate this morning at Gravy Gibson's lunchroom. What, I'm not going to eat them? No, I'm awarding the blue ribbon to Gravy Gibson. Now, you'll see that he gets it, will you, Otis? Wait, you can't do this, Britt. Gravy Gibson wasn't even entered. Now, you told me you wanted me to pick the best-tasting preserves in the county, and that's what I've done. Why, the very idea, comparing our preserves to the kind of thing Gravy Gibson serves up. It's an outrage! I've never been so insolent in all my whole life! Now, you see here, Britt, if you think you can get away with this... Why, why, for ten years, Bessie's preserves have been winning blue ribbons. And they'll be using the same recipe I did, our mother's recipe, and nobody's ever had a finer recipe for strawberry preserves than many whippers! That's right. Now, just a minute. Don't you just a minute on it. No, sir. Why, after a turn, you can't even eat Gravy Gibson's food. Why, everybody knows that. Of course. Well, this is the last county fair I'm ever going to enter, Otis Spears. And that goes for me, too. Bessie, come on, let's get out of here. The sooner, the better. Well, don't just stand there, Kermit. Can't you see we're leaving? Yes, dear, yes. No? Come along! Yes, Bessie. Why, why'd you see that, Britt? They went off together. All four of them. Together? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's how it looked, all right. Don't beat the Dutch. You got them so mad at you, they all went off together. I might have known you was up to something. Why, I don't know what you're talking about, Otis. I was just given my considered opinion about strawberry preserves. You know, the funny thing about it was it's true what I said. The preserves I'd had in my breakfast toast over gravy Gibson's did taste better than Thelma's or Bessie's. Of course, the fact of the matter was I really couldn't taste their preserves at all. I just burned the daylights out of my tongue drinking gravy's coffee. Oh, couldn't taste a thing afterwards. Boy, that was miserable coffee, if I ever, the gravy sure is a terrible cook. Yes, it is and it's a terrible recipe. I mean, if you have to go to sleep at night and look at what you've got. I don't know, Britt, if you're having trouble getting yourida's. you
