Get this and get it straight. Crime is a sucker's road. Those who travel it wind up in the gutter of the prison or the grave. There's no other end, but they never learn. From the pen of Raymond Chandler, outstanding author of crime fiction, comes his most famous character in The Adventures of Philip Marlowe. Now, with Gerald Moore, starred as Philip Marlowe, we bring you tonight's transcribed story, The Young Man's Fancy. It was another scorcher with smog yet. The angels that flapped their wings over the sleepy little pueblo of Los Angeles were taking a summer hiatus. I thought about the Blue Pacific some 15 miles to the west where the friendly waves will snap your back if you happen to hit the undertow just right. So I decided on some three-part harmony instead. Part one, vodka. I had that. But no parts two and three, the limes and ginger beer. So before you could say Moscow Mule, I was heading for the shopping district that's about a five-minute walk from the apartment. I made it quicker. I drove. Alex's fruit stall gets all my lime business. Partly because the limes are good, but mostly because of Alex. All that's kind and gentle is housed in the square frame of Alex Lesnovich. His tanned old face is creased around the mouth and eyes from smiling. Deep-set dark eyes that look out at you from under bushy gray brows and laugh. Yeah, that's Alex all the time. Except this particular morning. Oh, it's Mr. Marlowe. Well, hello. Hot day is. Hot day is. Heat got you, Alex? Oh, no, no, not the heat. I think I go to my chair, rock a bit. You find what you want. Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. You're not sick, are you? Sick some. Alex is a sick fellow. Have you seen a doctor? No, no, no doctor. Alex is sick in the heart here. Oh. No doctor can fix, Mr. Marlowe. Someone else could fix, but no doctor. You want to tell me about it, Ali? I will go to my chair and rock and sink you. Find what you want. Yeah. Hey, the limes look good. Yeah. Yeah, it is. How much? Sign says no. Yeah, I guess it does. Hey, does it get this hot in Yugoslavia? Oh, maybe. It's a long time since I was there. Yeah. Thirty years, more, maybe. It's lots changed there now. Weather, too, maybe. Yeah, maybe. Dad. Oh, Dom. Dominic, where have you been? Hello, Dad. Oh, hi, Mr. Marlowe. Hi, Dom. All night, I wonder where you were. Oh, look, Dad, let's not start that all over again, will you? I'm of age. Oh, it's baby, only big fellow, small years. Don't give me that stuff. I'm sick of it. Just came back to get some things and some money, so you might as well get the cash drawer open. Here now, that's enough. You do not come here just when suits you and tell your father what he will do and what he will not do. Look, Dad, I'm tired of fighting with you. Come on to the back of the stall. We don't have to drag anyone else into this. I was pretty much at a third wheel. I didn't get it. I didn't want to. Alex and son Dominic boxed the next few rounds almost out of earshot. I heard old Alex mutter something finally, go to the cash register and get Dom the money. Shortly after that, Dom shot past me and down the street. I stood there like a fool, squeezing a half a dozen lines. You... Did you find what you want, Mr. Mahalo? Yeah, yeah, Alex, these will be fine. Thank you. Thank you very much. Alex. Yeah. Well, if you need any help, you know where to find me, huh? Thank you very much, Mr. Marlowe. But if Alex has troubles, Alex works him up. Sure, sure you will. I'll see you. Well, that was quite a conversation you had, Mr. Marlowe. How are you? Yeah, fine. How are you, Miss Gabrielle? I'm boiling over. That's how I am. Yeah, well, it's hot. Oh, that's not what I mean. My blood's boiling. When I got left, that is. Doctor says I'm anemic, you know. No, I didn't know. I just want to get some ginger beer, huh? Last time I was in for a checkup, I thought I never was going to find any red corporals. White corporals I'm loaded with, he says, but red ones. Corpuscles. How's that? Corpuscles, that's the word, not corporals. Oh, well, I don't see it makes much difference. I don't have any red ones, no matter what you call them or how you spell them. Yeah, well, I thought maybe about six bottles of ginger beer, if you have it cold, please. I saw you next door at Alex's. Yeah, well, I got limes there. Now, if I could just have the ginger beer... How many roses got into that Dom? I don't know, really. Well, something has. I heard Alex say, plain as day, Dom hadn't been home all night. And I'll tell you one thing. That's not the first time this has happened. Been going on all the live long summer. I wouldn't know about that. I just... And another thing, that flower stand of his, you know, the one he used to run right there in the front of Alex's stall, where's it gone? Six bottles of gin. I'll tell you where. The rack and ruin. And first of the summer, he's running like always, doing a nice little trade, too. Then it gets so, he's not coming home. And the flowers are wilting and dying. Not smelling too refreshing either. Please. So one morning, I see old Alex carting the whole kit and caboodle out to the incinerator at the alley, and that's the end of the flower business. You know, I knew it was going to be hot when I first woke up this morning, and I thought that about six bottles of ginger beer would help a lot. Oh, you want ginger beer. Well, why didn't you say so? I'm just shy. I'm shy. Oh. I bet you're going to make up a batch of those, um, what are they? Moscow mules. Oh. Well, that's 93. I'm giving you credit for the bottles I know you got, but you never take the trouble to return. Thank you. I got to bring them back. Thanks. You know what I think, don't you? I have a pretty good idea. I think Alex has had his share of troubles. And now, Dom, acting for all the world like one of them delinquents you read about, here's to me the nearest thing to a blessing that Alex can count as Helena. Helena? Oh, yeah. I don't suppose you remember her, do you, Mr. Marlowe? Well, sir, as beautiful a girl as you'd ever care to see. Lovely. And I mean lovely in every way. She went to that secretarial school, you know. Took a nice job up in San Francisco. I understand she's just doing real well, too. Writes to Alex just as regular and is just a lovely person I meet Yeah I remembered Helena No red-blooded man who had all his corporals would ever forget her. Quiet little thing, dark, radiant, with Alex's deep-set black eyes. The kind that laughed. Yeah, I remembered her voice, too. Soft, with just the right amount of huskiness. It had been about three years, I guess, since I'd seen her. That would make her somewhere in her early 20s now, and that would make her even lovelier. By the time I got to my car, I'd half forgotten about old Alex and Dom. I pulled out of the parallel parking spot, and before I reached the corner, I was in the proper lane, minding my own business. Hey! Nice work! Hit and run, huh? All the idiots. That's all I need. More crack on this heap, folks. Hey, did you see that, Mr. Marlowe? He didn't even stop. Yeah, that much I noticed. Glad you keep your service station so handy, Nick. Yeah, yeah, you know who it was, don't you? Yeah, yeah, I think so. The darn fool cut right in front of you from the wrong lane. I'll sure be a witness for you, Mr. Marlowe. Thanks, Nick. Tell me, was that Alex's car Dom was driving? Yeah. Well, take a look at the heap here. You think you can fix it up? Yeah, sure I can. Looks like he just scraped along the side. The fender's curled under there, but... I think we can knock that out for you in no time. Oh, good. Of course, if you want that paint touched up, that's going to take some time. No, no. Skip the paint for now, huh? Hey, Nick, you and Dom are pretty good friends, aren't you? I used to think so. I don't see much of Dom anymore. He's, I don't know, he's screwy or something. What do you mean? Well, like that trick he just pulled, running into you and driving on. He didn't used to be like that. Well, what do you think's happened to him, or do you know? Well, whatever it is, it's happened since we got out of school last spring. All of a sudden, he doesn't come around anymore. Nobody in the gang sees him, and when we do, you know, we meet him on the street or something, he just sort of looks down, he says, hi, and he keeps on going. Okay, if I park there, Nick. For two minutes, you can park there. I'll tell you when I get back. Hey, you dirty... There's Dom's friend, Mr. Marlowe. Only guy he sees anymore. That truck driver? Yeah, making his daily delivery, I see. Delivering himself to Sawley's bar. Half the time, Dom goes there with him. He does, huh? Yeah. Yeah, well, you see what you can do with the car, Nick, just so I can drive it okay, huh? Sure, sure, Mr. Marlowe. Bud's here today. Between us, we can fix it in a hurry. Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes. See how you're doing. Swell. Oh, and Nick. Yeah, yeah. Nick, come here. I'm going to tell Alex it was my fault. Now, I don't want him worrying about it, so don't make a liar out of me, huh? Nah, no, sure not, Mr. Marlowe. Only Dom doesn't deserve it. Maybe not, but Alex does. But I don't care about the car. The car, Dom, is all right. He's not hurt. No, no, Dom's fine, Alex. He was, well, he was in a hurry. Drove on to wherever he was going. Oh, oh, that's good that Dom is not hurt. Yeah, I just thought I'd tell you. It was my fault, and whatever damages there are, you let me know, huh? Oh, if anything, I let you know. You don't worry, Mr. Marlowe. So you strive more carefully next time, no? Yeah. Yeah, I will, Alex. Oh, look, please, look, look, look. What is just coming in all the excitement? I almost forgot. Look, it's letter from Helena. Oh, swell. How is she? Oh, it's fine. Just real fine. She's worked very hard, she said. She feels very good. And it's Sunday. Maybe soon. Come down to see Alex. Oh, that's fine. Is she still in San Francisco? Oh, yeah. And it's like there very much. Uh-huh. But Mrs. Popper and Dom, and Mr. Waldo Popper and Dom, Miss Helene. Yeah, I'll bet. Oh, when Helene comes, everything again is all right. I get letter almost every other day, two, three times a week. Oh, that's swell. Well, I got to see about my car, Alex, and remember, let me know what I did to yours. Oh, yes, if anything I shall. And you remember now, You try much more carefully, Mr. Mahalo. It's got responsibility to our fellow. He's right. He's right. Alex was feeling better. Helena's letter had given him something else to think about for a while. On the way back to Nick's service station, I ignored Miss Gabrielle's nose, which was pressed flush with the free ice cube sign in her window. You know, with very little effort, I could have no use for that type female. Well, Nick said the car would take about ten minutes. I figured a beer would just about take as long. The sign said Salty's Bar. No dogs allowed. Bottle of beer, mister. Bottle of beer. Any kind, just so it's cold. Okay, here you go. Thanks. I'll play you as soon as I can see. You keep it pretty dark in here, huh? Psychology. Tell them all booze that way. Don't ask me why. I won't. Anybody mention the jukebox is a little loud? Yeah, I have. They either can't hear or they like it that way. They? You'll see them when your eyes get used to the place. The guys play the record nine times now. She's still not sold. Yeah? Well, some days you get nowhere. Hey, can I have another beer, Soli? Yeah, sure, Carl. I called the truck driver, Nick pointed out to me. He was seated two stools down at the bar. I noticed him for the first time just before he ordered the beer. He was a big guy. Even sitting down, he had a placid-looking face, the kind you could never tell anything about. He looked at me for a moment and then over to the couple in the booth by the jukebox. The expression on his face didn't change as he calmly slid off the bar stool, went over to the jukebox, reached around to the back, and turned down the volume. Aye, what's the idea? Yeah. It's too loud. Yeah, well, it's my nickel, see? It's your nickel. Sit down. Yeah? Well, I will. Let's tell the numbers, Shelby. Thanks, fella. Yeah. Okay. Carl. Oh, that's you, isn't it, Carl? Yeah, Dom. Come on, sit down. I wondered where you were. I had some trouble, but I got some money. What kind of trouble? You're dead? No, I just... Well, if it isn't old Snooper himself. Look, Mr. Marlowe, I don't need any assist from you. I wouldn't be too sure, Don. Maybe you thought it was a bright idea blabbing that fancy story to my dad. Well, I don't go for it, you see. Okay, you don't go for it. You, uh, giving the kid here a bad time, mister? Get lost. He's a professional Snooper, this guy. He's already shot his face off to my dad about me. You shouldn't have done that, mister. Hey, you guys, take it easy. No brawling in here. Take your hands off me. Don't let go, all right? It was your first mistake. Come on, now. Break it up. Break it up. Stop. Put down that bottle. I'll break it up. Oh! You crazy little fool. You turn close the eye Hey you right You right You right Oh In just a moment we will return to the second act of Philip Marlowe but first the flood that swept the Midwest, swept thousands from their homes, businesses, and farms. The Red Cross asks your contribution now through your local Red Cross chapter. The relief and rehabilitation job will take months, perhaps years. Now with our star, Gerald Moore, the second act of Philip Marlowe, and tonight's story, The Young Man's Fancy. It was a wild dream. My head was a punching bag, and fighters with plate glass fists were taking turns cracking my skull. It hurt like fury. Miss Gabrielle was pelting me with free ice cubes. The band played Come On to My House, and someone started mopping my face with a cool, damp cloth that smelled of beer and bourbon. He's coming around. I don't know why, though. Dom really conked him. How are you, Mr. Marlowe? Now, there's a stupid question. Oh, Nick, how'd you get here? Well, they came and got the truck, Carl and Dom. I saw him out here, I figured something had happened. Hey, I'm sure sorry, Mr. Marlowe. Yeah, so am I. Hey, Nick. What's the name of that company Carl drives for? The Inner City Produce Company. Uh-huh. Alex buys stuff from him. I guess that's how Dom knows him. Are you going to tell the police, Mr. Marlowe? No, not yet, Nick. That's two counts on Dom today. You're sure letting him get by with murder. No, Nicky boy, I draw the line there. Oh, here, have a drink. Oh, thanks. I thought you said this was the class drawing, Shelby. Well, I thought it was, baby. We are taking our trade elsewhere, Mac. Now you think of it. You have a real stylish clientele, Salty. Real stylish. You're feeling good enough to crack wise? You're feeling good enough to get out of here? Hey, wait a minute. Take it easy, Nick. Salty's right. I just don't want no trouble. You got no trouble. Come on, Nick. I couldn't have walked better if I had the bends. I managed to get into my car at Nick's service station. He checked all 96 Los Angeles area phone directories for me, and Carl wasn't listed. Nick had finally remembered Carl's last name. It was Medora. I took one last look at the limes and ginger beer, now quite warm in the car seat beside me. Mutted something sensible and drove off. It was even hotter down in the produce district. And the knot on my head hurt even more as I told Carl's boss a big fat lie. Well, sir, Mr. Marlowe, I'm glad our Carl was a help to you out on the ridge route. Yeah, yeah, I'd like to thank him personally, if you don't mind. Oh, don't mind at all. Thing is, he won't be in anymore today. He got in early this morning from San Francisco, brought his load in, and won't be in here again till tomorrow morning. Oh, he's going back to San Francisco, huh? Uh-huh, yeah, that's his run. Up to Frisco and back, lays overnight both places, loads up, starts out again. Sounds like fun. Say, tell you what I could do. I could give you his home address. Most likely that's where he is now. Don't know, of course, if you want to go to that much trouble just to thank him. Oh, yeah, yeah, I would. After all he's done for me, I'd really like to look him up. Paul's apartment building needed paint and better ventilation. It was near downtown L.A. in an area that should have been cleared for the freeway, but it hadn't been. There was no answer at apartment three. There wasn't even any sound behind the door, but I had the feeling that somebody was there. At the corner drugstore, I called the phone number Carl's boss and penciled under his address. I let it ring a long time, no answer. Now, my head wasn't the only thing that was giving me a rough time when I got back to Hollywood. My car had developed a regular list to the starboard side where Dom had rammed me. I limped into Nick's, and he spotted the trouble right away. Yep, that's it, all right. Your front wheel alignment is not silly. I know just how it feels. We could fix it okay if you can leave the car with us a while. You can have it a week. I want to take my head home and bury it. Yeah, yeah, I bet. You got everything out of the car you want? Wait a minute, let me see. Limes, ginger beer. Everything with the down payment, I guess. Mr. Marlowe, what do you think? Oh, hello, Nick. What do you think, Mr. Marlowe? I don't know. You got me, Alex. I don't got phone call. It's Helena. From San Francisco? No, no, no, no. Right here, Los Angelos. Oh, he's come real soon to see Alex. Hey, that's great, Alex. Oh, it's very fine news. Oh, Nick, Nick, you see Dom. I have to find Dom for Helena when she comes, you know. No, no, no, Alex. I haven't seen him. Oh, that's all right. If you see him, either one of you, tell him, tell him, please, to come for Helena. Yeah, we will, Alex, sure. Oh, thank you very much. If we see him. Thank you. Poor old guy. Yeah. I'm going home, Nick. If you see Dom or Carl, let me know. I sure will, Mr. Marlowe. You're a long time getting home, Snooper. Well, the bottle, baby. I've been waiting to tell you something. Something maybe you missed when I said it in salty. Now, look, all of a sudden I'm getting sick of you, Dom. You better quit while you're ahead. You better listen. I told you to stay out of my business. And now I'm telling you the same thing for Carl. You're doing nobody any favors going to his boss, poking around where you're not wanted. Tell Carl to come here and tell me that. If he comes, he'll really flatten you. Get out of here, will you, and get rid of that gin smell before you go home? That's something else that's my business. Now listen, you little punk. I ought to slap you silly and I may. You let go of me, you stupid. Now get this. Helena's in town. What? She just called Alex. She's coming to see him. No. Now go home and get cleaned up and behave yourself. Helena? Oh, no. He ran down the hall like he'd been fired on. And like I said, I was sick of it, the whole thing. Dom, Carl, whatever they were up to, I'd had it. Inside the apartment, I left the limes and ginger beer on a chair. Put the vodka straight. I don't know how long I was sprawled on the couch. Okay, okay, okay. Oh, that might be Carl. I'm waiting to see that boy. Oh, Mr. Marlowe. I didn't think you'd remember me, but Carl said you wanted to see me, Mr. Marlowe. Helena. You do remember me? I didn't think you would. Sure. Sure I remember you, Helena. It's been a long time. Yeah, long time. Long, long time. I haven't changed, have I, Mr. Marlowe? No. No, Helene, you haven't. Liars! The men always have to lie. No, Helene, you haven't changed. You make me sick, Mr. Marlowe. Men make me sick Have you seen your father yet Jalop No I haven seen him yet Carl said to wait here I'm sick of Carl telling me what to do. What's in the bottle, Gin? No, it's vodka. Doesn't matter. Uh, tell me about your job, Helena. Give it to me, the bottle. Thank you. That's my job, Mr. Marlowe. You can forget anything with a palm tree. Take it easy, kid, will you? Sure. Helena. Helena. Oh, fine. You got it here? Yeah. She, uh, she passed out. She's over on the couch. Come on, cop. She's okay, Don. Better sleep it off. Yeah, what else? Well, Mr. Marlowe, beginning to get the idea? I guess I am. How long has she been like this? Oh, I don't know. Quite a while, I guess. I thought something was cockeyed when she was home last Christmas. Yeah. Oh, late this spring, her letters to Dad got to reading kind of funny, though she sent to him. I hooked a ride with Carl here and went up to Frisco. Found her. Well, how could she hold a job like this? Job? You got a drink to hold some jobs, Mr. Marlowe. Oh, I see. I don't mind about her job. She's... She's sick. We brought her down here. Carl did. Now we don't know what to do. She can't see Dad like this. No. You're right, Dom. It'd kill him and her, too. She's been staying in my apartment. I'd been sleeping in my truck when I was in town. Dom stayed with her a lot of the time. Dom's been writing the letters to Alex for her and you've been mailing him from San Francisco, huh? Yeah. That way, Alex didn't know, you see, but now that she's called him and said she was in town, I don't know. Dom's had a pretty tough time with it. She threw a glass of gin all over him today. Yeah, I know. It's not her fault. He's sick, that's all. Well, we've got to do something for him. We will, we will, Dom. I think maybe I can help you with that. I called a friend of mine, an M.D. with a small sanitarium in the Glendale Hills. He specialized in Helena's kind of sickness. We made a deal, and a half hour later, we took her there. It was going to take some time, but it was good building time. Don and I had our story pretty well rehearsed when we got back to Alex's. But I don't understand why she told you this. Why did she not call Alex? Now, look, Dom told you she was pretty disappointed in herself, but she had to go right back to San Francisco. She was afraid if she called you, she'd cry and get you all upset. Sure, that's right, Dad. She thought it'd be easier for you this way. Oh, I think it's nice of Helena to think of her papa. It's nice. She come soon again, no? As soon as she can, Alex. I don't think it'll be very many more weeks. Do you, Dom? Oh, no, no. She'll be back before we know it, Dad. Oh, that's wonderful. Dominic, she looks good. It's really. Oh, she... Well, you just wait till you see her. She'll look great, won't you, Mr. Martin? Oh, just great, Dom. Alex, I've got a hunch she'll be staying home quite a while after this. Oh, my... Helena, home. Oh, it's good. Oh, very good. Footnote. You can buy fresh-cut flowers again in front of Alex Lesnovich's fruit stall. They throw the smiles in for free. Even Miss Gabrielle's changed her mind about Dominic being one of those delinquents she'll read about. I learned something about him the other day myself. That kid can really paint a car. Well, so much for that. Cost? One Moscow Mule. The Adventures of Philip Marlowe bringing you Raymond Chandler's most famous character, star Gerald Moore, are produced and transcribed by Norman MacDonald and written for radio by Kathleen Height. Featured in the cast were Tony Barrett as Alex, Larry Dobkin as Dom, Georgia Ellis as Helena, and Paul Dubov as Nick, with Ruth Parrott, Frank Richards, Lou Krugman, and Jack Crucian. Gerald Moore may currently be seen in the Santana production, Sirocco. The special music for Philip Marlowe is composed by Pierre Garagank and conducted by Wilbur Hatch. Be sure to listen again next week at this same time when Philip Marlowe says... This time the main theme was Main Street, and the counter-melody was full of shops from a burlesque house and flats from Skid Row. It was wine, women, and murder. Tony Arden and tenor Frank Parker will be singing those brand new songs for sale introduced by Steve Allen tonight on most of these same CBS stations. Don't miss Ray Block's orchestra playing them, Steve Allen describing them, and more Tin Pan Alley notables judging them tonight when CBS Radio brings you a full hour of songs for sale. Friends, just as systematic exercise builds a strong body, so does systematic saving build a strong future. saved systematically for your future and for your country's future with United States defense bonds. It's easy, it's automatic, and there's no safer investment in the world. Defense bonds are guaranteed by your government. So for the defense of your future, for the defense of your country's future, buy your full share of United States defense bonds. This is Roy Rowan speaking. This is the CBS Radio Network.
