Frontier Town, the saga of the roaring west. Frontier Town. El Paso, Cheyenne, Calgary, Tombstone. Frontier Town. Here is the adventurous story of the early west, the tamed and the untamed. From the Pecos to Powder River, Dodge City to Poker Flat, these are the towns they fought to live in and lived to fight for. Teaming crucibles of pioneer freedom. Frontier Town. A frontier town. Yeah, I guess that's what you'd call Dos Rios. The only reason I mention Dos Rios is that I live there. Or to be more accurate, it seems to be the base of my operations. Because you see, fortunately or unfortunately, I'm a lawyer. And out in the frontier country, although lawyers aren't too well regarded, they sure are necessary. If you're ever in Dos Rios and want to look me up, the office is over at Cherokee O'Bannon's livery stable, and the shingle says, my name is Chad Remington. Well, as you can imagine, the frontier has attracted all kinds of people, and that brings me all kinds of clients. One of the rarest birds I've yet to run across I met just a few weeks ago. Rare? Believe me, he's even more of a character than that ex-medicine man, Cherokee O'Bannon. Bright and early one morning when I picked up my mail, I found a letter postmarked from a town about 200 miles away, sort of a new town they'd called Roaring River. I'd heard about Roaring River because it was becoming famous as the bailiwick of a self-appointed justice of the peace, a former mule skinner. And folks say he skinned a lot of other things besides mules. I saw the old character whose name is Pegleg Cooper. Well, the letter wasn't from Pegleg, but from a rancher down there who signed himself Jim Charlton and urged me to come down and offered me a sizable fee if I could help him. Charlton didn't say exactly what the nature of his trouble was, but the fee was tempting to a man who has a few thoughts of getting married. Besides, I had a hankering to at least have a look-see at Judge Pegleg Cooper. Well, while Cherokee and I were riding over to Roaring River, Jim Charlton's trouble suddenly came to a head. One of the older and larger cattlemen, Tulsa Blaggett, paid an unwelcome call on Charlton and his daughter Betsy. Charlton, I'm giving you a better than even break back. I've been here talking to you and if you know what's good for you, you'll quit talking back. Tulsa, I didn't ask you here. I don't want you here. And most of all, anything you have to tell me goes in one ear and out the other. Yeah? Well, I'm not surprised. Apparently there's nothing between them ears to stop it. Daddy, don't let him talk to you like that. Kid, if I were you, I'd remember the old saying, brat should be seen and not heard. Goddamn it, Tulsa. I've heard enough out of you. Now go on. Clear out of my house. In other words, Charlton, you want to end up like the other nesters did around here. I'll take my chances. You and your kind never scared me none. And for one, I'm not selling this homestead to you for ten cents on the dollar. You know something, Charlton? I got a feeling in my bones that you're going to have a fire here. And after that, your place won't be worth two cents on the dollar. You dirty crook. Don't you try to threaten us. You little loudmouth. Who do you think you are calling me a crook? Shut up. Slap my daughter, will you? You! You! Good for you, Daddy. You gave him his come up and saw right. I'm not fooling, Blaket. If you're not out of here in 30 seconds, I'm going to pick you up and throw you out. Throw you out through the window. All right. All right, Charlton. But I'm coming back. And when I do come back, which won't be long, I'm coming back to move in. Well, Tulsa Blaket did come back. He came back about four hours later. Came back with six of his hired gunslingers, set fire to the cow barn, and then surrounding the house, laid siege to it. As Cherokee and I were approaching the homestead, we suddenly became aware that something was wrong. Chad, my boy, have you, uh, have you made any plans as to what you'll do with that fee Mr. Charlton was supposed to pay you? Mr. O'Bannon, sir, any plans that I might have have to do with solids, not liquids. Too bad. Although I once knew a man carrying a hip blast through the Rockies, when it froze, making a liquid a solid, he assured me it had its advantages. Didn't need a chaser. Well, you need a chaser, Cherokee. You need someone to chase around after you and see that you behave like a... Billy Blue Blazers, Chad. Sounds like shooting. Yeah, and if we're going in the right direction, the shooting's coming from the Charlton place. Unhook that.45, Cherokee. You may be needing it. Come on, you sound-boiled shuffle-gussie. Get up there. Cherokee, look. There's a whole gang down there pumping lead into the Charlton house. A foul skunk? Let's see if they can take it as well as throw it. Nice shooting, O'Bannon. Look, they're starting to run. Now let's get down there and really pour it on. Well, that's about all there is to it, Mr. Remington. Except to thank you again and again and again for running them off. Ain't nothing of it, Miss Betsy. Our pleasure. Our pleasure. Now, I'm no coward, Mr. Remington, but... Oh, look, let's just make that plain Chad, shall we, Jim? You bet, Chad. As I was saying, I'm not afraid to tussle Blaggett or anybody else. But if there's a peaceable, legal way of settling a thing like this, that's what I want to do. That's why I wrote to you. Well, the legal way of doing it is to prove that Blaggett is trying to drive you out of here by force. Which, of course, I can't do because all the men who attacked the house were wearing hand shifts over their faces. Besides, even though Daddy won't admit it, everybody in the whole of the Rowing River country knows that Toss the Blaggett and the Judge are playing it hand in hand. You mean Judge Pegleg Cooper? Oh, don't listen to Betsy, Chad. She's just repeating gossip. I am not! Everybody says old Pegleg's just using that job he gave himself to feather his own nest. Very interesting. Very interesting. Well, I will admit Judge Cooper drags everyone he can get into that court of his and finds them every penny they got. But he's as tough as nails in trying to do an honest job, according to his own likes. According to his own likes. The cattlemen elected him and he's backing them up. Well, that's something that remains to be proved, Betsy. Before I make up my own mind, I'd like to meet Pegleg Cooper and size him up. Well, nothing hard to that. He owns a saloon and holds his court right there in the saloon. Very, very interesting. Very, very interesting. Come, Chad, let us remount our horses and meander down to Pegleg Cooper's saloon...er, court. Ah, Gannady, they shut up for clear out of the courtroom. Yes, yes. Well then, engine, did you or didn't you take the saddle off and build empty troughs? Me no. Take them. Just borrow them. Oh, so you just borrowed the saddle. All right, engine, then we'll drop the charges of larceny again, yeah? You good judge. We'll just drop the charge of larceny and we'll charge your rent for the use of the saddle. How much money wampum you got on you? Got them twenty-one dollars. Twenty-one dollars, huh? All right. Court finds you guilty of not paying rent for the saddle and finds you twenty-one dollars. Now pay up and clear out of here. Hey, Pony, Pony, get the engine's money. Then open the bar again. Court's adjourned. Ever and all my days have I seen justice of that kind, Mr. Howe. Well, peculiar, but mighty effective. Yeah, effective for the judge's pocketbook. I tell you that he never gives... What's up, Jim? What are you staring at? Hey, see that barrel-chested buzzer who just walked in? Yeah? That's Tulsa Blaggett. Jim, you get over in the corner with a crowd where Blaggett can't see you. I came down here to watch the judge at work, but this is going to give me the opportunity of observing the other member of the team at one and the same time. What's it, Sam? Here he comes. Hiya, boys. Hiya, judge. Hey, Tulsa. What brings you down to the Blind Judge's Cafe so early in the day? I just closed a little deal, judge, a little cattle deal, and I feel like celebrating. Come on, boys. Everybody up to the bar. The drinks are all me. Come on, boys. Come on. Come on. Honey! Yeah? Better bust a bung into a brand-new barrel of berries. Right, judge, judge. Come on, boys. Step up and sing out your orders. Hey, you there. You with the fancy shirt. Didn't you hear me? I said I'm buying the drinks. Everybody up to the bar. Thanks just the same, mister, but I'll take a rain check on that. I said you're drinking with me. I said I'm not. All right, then. I'll drag you over to the bar. That's it, Sam. Hang it on him. Why am I stopping you here? You're breaking up my cafe. Sorry, judge, but I tried to break up your cafe to have him break my jaw. Say no! Sad, even if he comes to, I'm sorry to say he will buy drinks for a long while. Come here, you. Barney! Yeah, judge? Close up the bar. We're holding court. Right, judge. Eyes closed and courts in session. Judge Cooper presiding. And now, young man, we're going to get on with your trial. All right, judge, but I'd like to know what the charges are against me. Oh, they ain't very much. Salt and battery, mayhem, inciting a riot, and destruction and demortation of personal property. You plead guilty or not guilty? That depends. What'll it cost if I plead guilty? Well, maybe $40. Uh-huh. What'll the fine be if I plead not guilty? Not guilty will cost you $100. How do you plead? Guilty as charged, your honor. Here's your 40. Thanks, son. And just a minute. You must say about $70,000. Uh, $68 to be exact. Now, that is strange, because I'm just about to fine you $68 in addition to that 40. Oh, no, wait a minute. What's that fine for? Well, I'll tell you. Mr. Blaggett came in and invited everybody to have a drink on him. I reckon he ought to spend about $68 in my care fee. But now that you laid him out cold, I'm deprived of that business, and so you are in restrained to trade. That's all. Pawnee, put this money in the drawer and escort the defendant outside. Oh, that's good for nothing, sneaking, soap headed, snaking the grass. Let it go, Cherokee. Judge may have my money now, but he isn't gonna keep it long. Believe me, he isn't. Pawnee, how much do we take in today? I'll tell you in a second, Judge. Let's see. $419. Good day. Good day. Good day. Put out that lamp. I'm literally getting on bad. Right you are, Judge. I got a candle here and I... Don't move, gentlemen. Stand right where you are. What are you doing? I know you can't see, but I've got you both nicely covered. I've been outside in the dark for a while. My eyes have gotten used to it. Why, you pussy-footin' cold cat, who are you? Why, Judge, I'm the man who came in to relieve you of that $419. Yeah? Well, I've heard your voice somewhere before. And it won't take me long to recollect your name. You can save yourself all that mental energy, Judge. My name is, well, it's the Texas Kid. Texas Kid. And now, Pawnee, I'll just take that little sack and then I'll be bidding you two high binders good night. So long, gents, and have unpleasant dreams. We'll return to the exciting second act of Six-Gun Justice, our Frontier Town adventure in just a few moments. And now, Frontier Town. Well, sir, even from the little I've told you about Peng Leg Cooper, I bet you can imagine exactly how he felt with me in that ridiculous disguise coming in and depriving him of his, well, shall I say, hard-earned money. I was hardly set up next morning when the Judge started rounding up every last soul in the county, and by 10 o'clock his so-called courtroom was jammed to the rafters and rocking it. Keep quiet! Shut up! Shut up! Quiet! On your left! Quiet! Now, now we'll get on with the question. Some foul crook calling himself the Texas Kid stole $419 from me by the great horned spoon. We're finding out who it is and we have to stay here till Judgement Day. Your Honor, may I ask one question? Huh? What do you got to do with this? Judge, I don't know anything about the Texas Kid, and as you proved so conclusively yesterday, I probably know very little about the law. Well? Just this, you've accused everybody of stealing your money, but so far you haven't proved that you lost it. Are you a look-a-whore or do you think I am? Certainly I don't think you are, but as a fair-minded judge I know that you'd demand proof, so why shouldn't we? Now, have you double-checked? Have you looked in the cash drawer? Why, you puddle-headed, door-grown pawnie! Yes, Judge? Pull out the cash drawer and show this consign dimple soul what's in it. Right, old boss. Well, hurry up. Here it is. Catch, catch. The drawer ain't empty. Look, there's money in it. You flannelmouth gonna shut up? Get out. Or am I gonna have to find a lot of you? Two hundred, fifty, three, twenty, forty, fifty, three-fifty-one. Well, what do you know? I would have swore he took the whole thing. Of course he took the whole thing. Must have snuck in during the night and put part of it back. Sixty-eight dollars missing. You wouldn't know nothing about that, would you, son? Well, sixty-eight dollars is what you find me for being in restraint of trade yesterday. Mm-hmm. And naturally, you don't know nothing about the Texas kid. First time I ever heard of him was right in here, Judge. Why don't you appoint me as special deputy to your court? Deputy? What in corn chowder fur? Well, I think if you gave me a few days riding around the country, I might be able to find the Texas kid for you. Or if not that, I might be some help in rounding up the rascals who have been causing a real trouble around here. You know, mister, I just got a sneaking notion that if anybody could locate that there Texas kid, your the Rennehan could do it. Yes, sir. I hereby appoint you as special deputy to this here and out court. Now go on, go on, clear out of here and get busy. Right, sir, your honor. Just a minute, young fella. Inside of forty-eight hours, if you don't get results, I'm hailing you into court and fining you five hundred dollars for wasting time being a smart aleck and making a dog-eared donkey out of a respectable judge. Now go on, go on, go on, beat it. I'm laughing now, but believe you me, when it happened, I was laughing on the other side of my face. All my life I'd heard of smart lawyers, but if there'd been a mirror handy and I'd looked into it, I'd have been face to face with a lawyer who was too smart. Well, knowing that the judge meant business this time and being faced with a fine and probably a jail sentence, I took the bull by the horns and started out to make good on my promise. Not knowing the whereabouts of Tulsa Blaggots Ranch, I gathered up Jim and Betsy Charlton and had them ride with Cherokee and me to show us the way. And despite their cross-questioning, this time I tried my best to keep my big mouth shut. Chad, you've got something up your sleeve. Now I can see it all over your face. Won't you please tell us what this is all about? Yes, Mr. Remington, why have you got us all racing out to Tulsa's ranch as if our lives depended on it? Patience, my friends, patience. As a special deputy of his honor's court, I'm going to be mighty sure of my evidence before I make any allegations. But since we're practically at the door to Blaggots Ranch, rain up. I have a feeling you'll soon find out. Wow, girl. All right, come on. I think I'm about to make an arrest. Well, the four of us walked fithering yawn around the Blaggots Ranch looking, just looking for something, anything. As the time was getting shorter and my chances even slimmer, suddenly Cherokee found something. Sweet strawberry blondes, Chad. Look at this. Hey, that's nothing but a little piece of steer hide. It sure is a piece of steer hide, Betsy, but don't you see what it is? It's a piece of steer hide with our brand on it. And how our brand got over here on Blaggots Ranch will take a bit of explaining. Yeah, we're lucky it's on, but it certainly explains itself. Even though the men were masked who raided your place the other day, this piece of steer hide will be marked Exhibit A in my case against Tulsa Blaggott for cattle rustling. Come on, we're going inside. Well, Tulsa, you coming with me? Remington, you're crazier than a loon, that's what you are. Why should I go down to that old Coots Court? Well, a good reason might be because I'm telling you to. As a deputy of the court, I've got a bench warrant for you. Look, you're starting to annoy me now more than you did yesterday. You had a brain in your stupid head. You wouldn't stand there just begging Chad to annoy you the same way again. Yeah. Well, did you ever hear of a thing called false arrest? Yeah, I think I have. You just heard Charlton say he couldn't identify me as the man who raided his ranch. And that's the truth, I can't. Well, then, what do you think you're going to gain dragging me down to court? Because the judge can't find me guilty without no evidence. And if he doesn't, I'm going to have you locked up for false arrest. Blaggott, I'm just quaking in my boots. Now, come on. You can say it all you want. I'm not leaving here. Well, I happen to think you are. Yeah, well, I don't think I am. Chad, he's got hold of his gun. I saw him, Cherokee. He's welcome to clear his holster. And that's just what I'm going to do. Suffering starlight. That kind of shooting I never seen before, Chad. Cherokee, pick up a gentleman's gun for him and bring it down to court. We'll label that exhibit B on another charge of resisting an officer. Well, Judge, where's that big talking deputy you appointed yourself? Oh, I reckon he'll be coming in pointy. How come you reckon that? If he don't find you the Texas kid, think he's going to come back and face the $500 you threatened him with? Yes, I think he would. You do? And I reckon he would. Well, I'm not going to let him. I'm not going to let him. I'm not going to let him. I'm not going to let him. I'm not going to let him. I'm not going to let him. I'm not going to let him. I'm not going to let him. Yes, I think you would. You do? And I reckon I wouldn't keep the $500 long if I got it. Remember the other night when... Well, here he comes now when he's got toasts of blanket and toasts. Your Honor, can you convene your court for a few minutes? Judge, I'm warning you... Shut up, blanket! Ernie, close the bar and tell him to keep quiet. Yes, Your Honor! This court is here to announce... What are the charges, deputy? Well, over in my part of the country, we might call it something else. You mean down in Texas? I've never been in Texas, Judge. Honest, in general. But to get on with the charges, I think you'd probably call them... grand larceny, conversion of stolen property and attempted homicide. Uh-huh. What does that mean in English? Cattle rustling, Your Honor. 23 head. Well, hold the cooked up ridiculous lion! Shut up! And here are the brands off two of Jim Charlton's steers... which Mr. O'Bannon here found in Blaggett's corral. That's entered as exhibit A on the rustling charge. You mean you got another charge against him? Yes, sir. Resistant officer. And as exhibit B, here's the gun he pulled on me. Well, this is nothing but a freemome. And you ain't gonna get... Look out! Look out! Tulsa's grabbed his gun on the table! Yeah! And I'm gonna use it! Gunshots Knock him over this way, son. I'll bust him with the gavel. No, thanks, Judge. But watch those glasses, because here he comes! Gunshots All war is us, Chad. You busted up the judge's saloon again. Yeah, looks like Cherokee's right, Judge. How much is the fine gonna be this time? Well, I ain't gonna let you off lightly for a second offense. No, sir. For assault and battery, quid pro quo... That's Latin. And for catching a double-dyed, ding-busted, dead, ratted, sneaking rustler... I couldn't get the goods on. My fine is... You've got to attend the best gosh darn party ever held in the Blind Justice Cafe... The best two-fisted fighter ever to hit this part of the country. Oh, still there, you broken down, hey, burner? Mr. Remington, I'll never, never forget how you outslicked that crook. He did a fine job, didn't he, Judge? Oh, good enough. What about me? Ain't I letting him go home without catching the Texas kid for me? You young barman. Someday you ought to get down to Texas and look for the cops. You never can tell what Chad might do for $68, Judge. Ha, nor me neither. Have I to read between the lines, Your Honor? And infer that because the way this case turned out, you might do what Blaggett is going to do the other day, set him up the house? Now, just a minute, Cherokee. What's the matter? I'll admit I'm in favor of you having some suds. Good boy! But you're not going to get the suds till you get back home. Good night! And the kind of suds you're going to get won't do your insides much good, but they'll be a big help to your outside. I'm talking about soap suds. Good-bye! Ha, good-bye is right. Adios, Judge. So long, Chalmans. Bye! When you get your cattle, Sol Jim, that's plenty of time to be sending me my fee. Now, get started, boys. Bye, Chad! Soap suds he offers me after I found that steer high. Cherokee, if you hadn't found it, there wouldn't have been any suds either, because with the judge looking for me, there would have been no soap. Frontier Town starring Tex Chandler is a Bruce Ells production, supervision by Joel Murcott, story and direction by Paul Franklin, music written and played by Ivan Dittmarz. Be sure to be with us again same time next week for another fine action adventure story with your favorite young western star, Tex Chandler. Now, this is Bill Foreman telling you that Frontier Town came to you from Hollywood. Thank you.
