Your Coca-Cola Bottler presents Claudia, based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken. Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. Relax, and while you're listening, refresh yourself. Have a Coke. And now, Claudia. Finished with your breakfast, David? Just the last sip of coffee. Good. Give me the tray. Hey, hey, what's the rush? Well, you said you were finished, didn't you? Claudia, you're taking the cup right out of his mouth. No feelings, your daughter, Mrs. Brown. I want to take the tray out into the kitchen, Mom. Wait five minutes. What for? Well, because, oh, why do I bother answering your ridiculous questions? Take the tray now, if you're in such a hurry. I'm not in a hurry. Then why hurry? Because I can't stand seeing dirty dishes lying around a living room. You're starting to sound like an old maid. Take the tray, old maid. That's a fine thing for a husband to call his only wife. Well, I could do worse by you. I'll be back in a minute to clean things up. Clean what up? Things. Oh, she's a regular tornado this morning, isn't she? With a touch of cyclone around the edges. Mmm, Mother. Mmm, Mother, what? You can't leave me hanging like that. I'm starting to feel a bit of a tornado myself. More like yourself. Oh, much more. Today, for the first time since my car accident, I really feel as if I could get off this sofa and walk down the road and smell the fall air and enjoy it. Good to hear, David. Good to hear what? Persons who come in on a tail end of conversations and then say what and who and why and where should have their ears cut off. Am I included in or out? In. Oh. Say, you know, you look pretty well today, Mr. Norton. We aim to please. Do you have some matches on you, Mrs. Norton? There he goes with that pipe again, Mama. Here, matches. Hey, hey, wait a minute. What are you doing with those newspapers? Folding them up. I haven't finished reading them yet. They look so messy this way, David. I am reading them. Can't you read them folded up better? Old maid. They are folded neatly. They are merely inside out. You call this neat? Well, I certainly don't. Why do they make newspapers such an awkward size? Why do they have to make wives so neat? Would you rather I be sloppy? Just give me back my newspapers and I can read them in peace. In pieces. Now, you just wait until I get them all in order. Did you bring her up like this, Mrs. Brown? I brought her up, but not like this. So fastidious she is. Always carries everything to an extreme. You're fine once to talk. David never takes anything out of a drawer or closet without putting it right back in when he's through. You don't give anybody a chance to get through. Here's your newspaper. Don't you say thank you? Thank you. You're welcome. Oh, wait a sec. I'll empty that ashtray. It's not full yet. Oh, you don't want to wait till it gets full. You'll get ashes all over the house. From one little pipe? Besides, I'm on my feet. I'd rather empty it while I'm on my feet. Then for heaven's sake, sit down. You're getting me nervous hopping around, straightening everything up. Can't stand a messy room. David's spending most of his time convalescing in this room, Mom, and he'll convalesce twice as quickly if the room is neat. Won't you, David? Here's your ashtray. What? Convalesce twice as quickly. Oh, sure, sure. See, Mama? Well? He will. Now everything's neat. Sit down. You're making me drop stitches. Well, you'll have to clean them up if you do. I just want to straighten these Venetian blinds. I don't dare breathe for fear of disturbing something. Did that look even to you, David? Mm-hmm. It didn't even look. I couldn't tell it was even. How? It sounded even the way you pulled it up. Oh, blubber. Sun in your eyes, David? Nope. Well, now the room's starting to look decent. Now, don't move, Mother. Don't move. You'll spoil the arrangement. David, I want you to know something here and now. I brought Claudia up to be neat, but not to be neurotic. Then where does she get it? Heaven only knows. While you two have yourselves a time pulling my character apart, I'm going in the kitchen for dust riding. You have no character. You must be feeling better today. You're so patient. Actually, she's right. Sometimes I think I became an architect mainly because I like life to look orderly and clean. I like to plan things for their comfort and efficiency. Claudia knows I'd go pretty near crazy if I had to sit around in a messy room, particularly now when there's nothing else I can do. Just don't let her drive you crazy with this other extreme. Oh, I'm not worried. In spite of her being my daughter, David, I must admit that she's behaved rather well through these last few weeks. Not in spite of, Mrs. Brown. Perhaps because of. Go back to your newspaper, flatterer. Stay where you are, Mom, I've got it. I wonder who it could be. Mail? Too early for that. Mr. Tucker, good morning. Howdy, ma'am. Too early for you? Too early? We are would-be farmers, Mr. Tucker. Nothing is too early. I'm in the living room, Mr. Tucker. Come on in. Hello, David. You're not too early for him either. Yeah, he's bellwin' like a bull. You feeling better, young man? Oh, feeling fine. Good morning, Mr. Tucker. Yep, you're looking better. Look more like yourself, you are. Is that good? You can't complain. Good morning to you, Mrs. Brown. Good morning, Mr. Tucker. Keeping an eye on your son-in-law? He's the only one I have. Yep. The only one you're ever going to have, either. Mr. Tucker, how about sitting down? Well, I ain't got the minute just now. I've got a little, well, you might say I've got a little present I've brought over to you. A present? Well, to kind of let you know, I'm glad Mr. Naughton here has pulled through his troubles. And could be that, well, it might kind of also help you pull through any troubles you might have later on, yes. Later on? Well, being sick in the hospital, laid up away from work for some weeks, ain't no way to make money, they tell me. Nuff taint. No taint. So, since you wouldn't let me help you out with money, because I could, you know, I got something to help you out with. I've brought you over a present. You can keep her, or you can, well, you can do whatever you have to do with her. She's yours. Well, whatever she is, Mr. Tucker, we'll keep her. And whatever she is, thanks for being our neighbor. Oh, shucks, that's an accidental locality. No thanks accepted. I don't want to appear curious, but who is she? She? Well, she's a pig. A pig? Say, you ain't disappointed, are you? I've been dying for a pig on our farm, Mr. Tucker, and so has David, haven't you, David? I have indeed. Seriously, a pig is quite a gift, Mr. Tucker. Oh, wouldn't give you one that wasn't. Now, how about coming out and taking a look now? Out? Well, I tied her up to a tree off your drive. Oh, well, I couldn't let David go out yet. Dr. Barry hasn't said he can. Oh, yes, yes. Well, how about you, Mrs. Naughton? Yeah, go on, darling. I'll see her some other time. We ought to see her together for the first time. Mr. Tucker, bring her in here. Plunged in the living room, darling? Why not? The pig won't mind, will she, Mr. Tucker? Well, uh, well, it ain't usual. Oh, who cares what's usual? If you bring her in here, David can see her now without waiting. We can see her together. She's just spent the last half hour cleaning up this room till it's sparkled. The pig is not going to hurt it, Mama. They're very clean. Mr. Tucker said so. Yes, but, Mr. Naughton, you got yourself quite a woman there, right in the living room. Quite a woman. Wait till I tell my darling. Your sister wouldn't? Well, it ain't many women who would. Sure glad I brought her over to you. I sure am glad. She and I'll be right back and with our, uh, party manners. Yep, with our party manners. If pigs is pigs, you know. What a wonderful old man. You're not so bad yourself. I wouldn't have believed it. She makes a fuss over a few crumbs and then allows a pig the use of her parlor. Crumbs aren't important, Mama. Pigs are. I'll never forget the way Mr. Tucker looked at his ruby when she had her litter a few months ago. Well, that ruby is quite a salve. There was such dignity about her when she pushed her piglets to their feet. She had eight. Seven better than I, Mama. Animals are so sure of themselves, they put us to shame. My own daughter. I didn't know she had it in her, David. Surprised? And proud. Come on here, come on here, girl. Right along. Come on. Yep. Here we are. She's strained on her own. Look at her. She's wonderful. Nothing reluctant about her there, ain't she? She's enormous. Good heavens, what a pig. She's a beauty. She's a good salve, she is. She's bred, too, so you'll have a litter of your own. Yep. David, what have we done to deserve this? I don't know, darling. Well, you don't have to do nothing. It's... You know what I always say? It's what's yours. Mr. Tucker. Now, now, don't say you ain't gonna take her, young man, cause I just won't hear of it now. No, I want you to tell me something. I think I've seen this pig before. Eh? You do, hey? Yes, I do. Those ears and nose and eyes, the line of her hands and the set of her head. Mr. Tucker, that pig is Ruby, none other. Ruby herself? Come on, come on now, admit it. Yeah, never thought you'd remember, Claire. Why, young man, you're a genius. That's what you are, a genius. Well, it wouldn't take a genius to recognize Ruby. She's a very special pig, Mr. Tucker. Yep, yep, she is. Ruby and I, we've done pretty well together. Never had another one like her. She'll do you proud, Mr. Norton. Bring you fine price or if you if name to keep her, you'll have something. Mr. Tucker, you can't give us Ruby. Who says I can't? Well, she means so much to you. She's much too good and special to give away. You can't hold on to things forever, Mrs. Norton. I've owned Ruby and now it's your turn. You deserve her, if only for recognizing her. Besides, folks tell me I ain't gonna live forever. Not even I ain't. You know it'd be a comfort to me to know that Ruby's well shut up, it would. We'll be proud to set her up, Mr. Tucker. She'll miss you. Oh, heck, I'll be around. Just live down the roadways, I'll be around. You'd better be for a long time. David, you're all choked up. This is quite an event, darling. I know. At least I hope I know. It'd be such a waste not to. I'll have to be bringing over some of her paraphernalia. That's a humdinger of a word, Eddie. We can set Ruby up in the barn for the time being. That'll do her fine. I got a range house for her. I'll bring around all her feeding gear. Then I'll get Fritz to go downtown this afternoon, buy some feed for her. Oh, she ain't fussy about her diet, but I'll have a word with your man Fritz about it before I leave. Fritz is the one who's going to be excited about all this. Thank heavens for Fritz. You know, he and Ruby will get on fine. I seen it when he midwifed her. Yes, sir, he handled her just so. And Ruby knew it too. Didn't you, girl? I'm sure you want to give her to us, Mr. Tucker. Really. Well, she's yours. I told you so. And when Jared Tucker says something, that's the way it is. Yep, Ruby's yours. She's no longer my Ruby. Oh, Mama. Now, I ain't got time for more talk. I've got a heap of things to do. I'll take Ruby out to your man Fritz, and then I'll get home myself. I'll get on home myself. So long, Mr. Tucker. Well, see you later, lad. See you, ma'am. Goodbye. Goodbye, Ruby. Come on now, step right in on the busy man. Go on, get on out there. Let him go alone, darling. Of course. She's really ours now. You two children. What about us, Mama? To watch the way you two behaved, you'd think receiving a pig was more of an event than having a baby. Pig like Ruby is an event, Mama. A big event. I'm certainly glad my parlor was stick and span just for this event. It's surprising what a difference you notice all the rest of the day when you make lunchtime something of an occasion, instead of simply eating a hasty bite. You can turn a casual meal into a refreshing occasion by including ice-cold Coca-Cola with your lunch. Bring a carton of Coke home from the drugstore or grocers, and lunch refresh tomorrow. Mr. King, would you ever believe that Claudia was raised in New York City? No, that's rather difficult to believe. She's taken to the farm like, well, like an old farmhand. It's amazing. But I'm glad of it. This life's good and real and happy. My wife and I think of it often. It'd be so fine for the children. For them, above all. I love the city, but you miss a great deal living there. Ah, just think. No pigs in the living room. Not one. No leaves turning red or the smell of the fall in the wind. You like fall? It's an exciting season. Then you like Monday. Monday's fall. We'll see you then? See you then. Every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again Monday at the same time. And now this is Joe King saying au revoir. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola. For Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that represses. And ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere. The parts of Claudia and David on this program were played by Katherine Bard and Paul Crabtree. And the entire production is supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney. And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola.
