Here's Dick Powell as Richard Diamond, private detective. Hello there, this is Diamond. Well, it's Christmas Eve, and every year about this time, my business takes a big nosedive. People usually pack up their troubles and start unpacking colored lights and Christmas tree ornaments. So tonight, instead of telling you about one of my hair-raising exploits, we're going to tell you a Christmas story. So with apologies to Mr. Charles Dickens, we'd like to bring you an adaptation of one of his most famous stories, The Christmas Carol. Now, I'd better explain something first. This version isn't exactly the way you've heard it many times before, because the particular type of characters I usually get mixed up with, this story is written to fit their talents and characteristics. Different from the Dickens' original, certainly, but we feel that this story could easily happen today, anywhere. Like maybe right here in New York, on a little side street just off the boundary. So now I'd like to introduce our characters. Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge will be played by my good friend and guiding hand of the 5th Precinct Homicide Division. Lieutenant Walter Levinson. Walter? Otis. The character of Jacob Marley will be played by one of my dearest friends and constant companions. Otis, that's you. Oh, Sergeant Otis Loveloom. Loveloom. Oh, sorry Helen. Tiny Tim will be played by our corner newsboy. Johnny Rawlins. Tiny Tim's mother will be played by my redheaded gal friend. Helen Ashen. The rest of the characters will be played by members of the 5th Precinct Police Station. Officer O'Reilly. Officer Lum. Officer Lefkowitz. Sergeant Miller. The music will be furnished by the 5th Precinct Police Band directed by Patrolman Worth. And now our version of the Christmas classic, Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. Once upon a time there was a nasty old guy named Ebenezer Scrooge. He was nasty all right. He didn't like anything except maybe all the dough he could get his hands on. Scrooge had a little business that he started with his partner, Jacob Marley. The outfit was known as Scrooge and Marley Loan Company. But one day poor old Marley just up and keeled over. So the boys along the big street gave him a nice funeral and old Scrooge took over the business. Well, Marley had been dead for seven years and Scrooge lived alone in his little room over the office. And for a hobby he hated everybody. He had a young guy working for him by the name of Bob Cratchit. Bob had a wife and four kids and made just enough to make ends meet. Scrooge used to ride him all the time. When it got so cold the polar bears complained Cratchit would turn on the little heater and Scrooge would say, Cratchit, what do you think you're doing? Turn on the heat, that's what I'm doing. My fingers look like popsicles. Well, I don't care if they come in six delicious flavors. Every time you turn on that heater it costs me money. Business is not good, so get back to your work and turn off the heat. Oh, now look Mr. Scrooge, I'm freezing. This pen ain't guaranteed to write under ice. I tell you once more, get back to your work. Okay, Mr. Scrooge, I don't know why you worry about business. Why not just put up a sign, turn the joint into a skating rink? Well, this was no time for any decent guy to act like that. It was Christmas Eve. Along about five o'clock into the office came Scrooge's nephew, Fred. Well, Merry Christmas, Bud. Oh, Merry Christmas, Fred. You get back to your work, Cratchit. Okay. Yeah. Well, Merry Christmas, Uncle. Oh, swear. Merry Christmas. Humbug. Humbug? Yeah, Humbug. My old man didn't like Christmas and that's what he used to say. Humbug. Okay, Humbug, but it's still Christmas and I don't see where you get off not liking it. This is supposed to be the time everybody gets with it. Everything stops, that ain't much good, and you put your arm around the next guy, you tell him, Merry Christmas. I'll put my arm around you with a hammer on the end of it if you don't lay off that Goodwill stuff. Look, what's with you? What have you got against Christmas? You show me a way to make a hundred bucks every Christmas and I'll fall in love with it. Every time the holidays roll around, nobody pays their bills and they all run around like they own the Chrysler building. Look at you. Sixty bucks a week and you're coming on like Rockefeller. Well, sure I make a lousy sixty bucks, but it ain't easy. But once a year something happens with everybody in this big world. Well, nearly everybody. Because this is a day that somebody else started to make things right for us and he had a really tough time doing it. It's more than just remembering, it's feeling. It's all around you. Christmas has got to be merry. Don't you get it? You want me to be merry? Well, sure. Then go get some of these joyous clients of mine to pay off their loans. But Mrs. asked me to invite you over for dinner tomorrow. Now don't hold your breath. Okay. Merry Christmas Bob. Merry Christmas Brad. Merry Christmas Uncle. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Humbug. Late that evening Scrooge went upstairs to his room. The room where Jacob Marley used to stay. It was dark in a little hall and when Scrooge reached for the door, he looked up at the big brass knocker and saw... Holy cow. I could have sworn that was old Jake's face in the knocker. I must be working too hard. So in he went. A little shaky after seeing Jake Marley's face, but he just passed it off his nerves. He closed the door and locked it. Then went over and sat down in front of the fireplace. He got a fire going and started to relax. But every tile around the fireplace started looking like Jake Marley's face. Oh now come on eh, old boy. You got to get hold of yourself. This is ridiculous. And I haven't touched a drop in weeks. He got up and walked around the room a few times and went back and sat on again. He stretched, rested his head on the back of the chair. From somewhere a bell started chiming and Scrooge sat straight up in his chair. He heard something else too. Something from downstairs. What the? Oh now what is that? What's going on? Who's that? Come on, who's out there? Then all of a sudden it came right through the wall. Marley! Jake Marley! Oh no, no. I got to stop eating lobster. Oh it couldn't be. Hey what's with you? Who are you? Jake Marley. Who else? You're dead. The deadest. But nevertheless Jake Marley. His ghost. You're very sharp today Scrooge, old boy. I don't believe it. You got eyes ain't you? Yeah and I got a bad stomach too. That's who you are. Nothing but a bad case of indigestion. You don't think I'm a ghost, huh? Okay, maybe a good scare will change your mind. Oh no, no, no, no. Stay away from me, I believe you. You sold on the idea? Yeah, yeah, but why'd he got to come to see me? Regulations. Every man is supposed to live his life and help his buddies. If he don't do it while he's alive, then he's got to do it after he kicks off. Now stop that. Hey what's with all those chains and things you got wrapped around you? Oh these? Well this here chain is like my life. Each one of these links is something I did wrong. But why do you have to hold it around with you? Why don't you check it someplace? Scrooge, old boy. When we was in business together, I never took time out to do any good. I just kept making a buck and figured that was enough. Well now I got to pay for it. I got the whole list chain around and tried to make up for all the things I didn't do when I was alive. But why come to me? Because you're gonna end up just like me unless we do something in a hurry. Now I haven't got much time so you better listen. No, I don't want to be like you. I'll listen. Okay, you're gonna have three visitors. You're gonna be haunted by three spirits. Oh no. It's the only way you can keep from being like me. When you hear that bell strike one, the first one will be here. Well I got to be going. You won't see me again, but you remember what I told you. So long, Scrooge, old boy. Your goosebumps can relax now. After the ghosts took off, Scrooge just refused to believe it. I'm nuts. It's ridiculous. Cumber. Then he climbed into the sack and was soon snoring up a storm. When Scrooge awoke, it was still dark and the bell from the church on 53rd Street was striking twelve. He laid awake listening and thinking to himself. Just a dream. Ghosts. Finally he dropped off again and slept for about an hour. Then the big bell struck one. One o'clock and I don't see no ghost. I knew it was something I ate. All of a sudden a big light flashed in the room. The first of the spirits stood before him. Oh, Jake was right. Are you the first spirit that Jake said would come to haunt me? Yeah, you know it. Well, who are you? Me? I'm the ghost of Christmas past. Yeah, how long past? Your past. Come on, we're gonna take a walk. Where are we going? Just relax. I'm running this too. Well, let me get my pants. You got them. Hey, they're on me. With that, the ghost of Christmas past grabbed Scrooge with the hand and they both flew out of the window. Scrooge nearly lost his upper plate, but before he could yell for help, he was standing in front of a dirty ramshackle old tenement building. You know where you are? Sure, I know where I am. This is where I was brought up. Even the garbage cans are the same. You had a pretty tough time when you were a kid, didn't you? The toughest. I wasn't very big and the rest of the kids in the neighborhood were. I had more black eyes than a crow. You want to go in? What for? To see your folks. My folks died a long time ago. They're in there now. Come on. Well, the ghost took old Scrooge into the building and showed him Christmas years past when he was a child of this family. Sure, it was tough living in two little rooms like that, but Scrooge remembered how wonderful it really was. What's the matter, Scrooge? Huh? Oh, got something in my eye. You were pretty lonely when your folks, when they... Yeah. You know, there was a young kid that came around earlier this evening and sang some carols. I wish... Yeah, what do you wish? Oh, nothing. Come on. I want to show you another Christmas. The spirit showed him another Christmas and still another. And you know, no matter how tough Scrooge remembered his childhood had been, it always seemed that Christmas was wonderful. Then the spirit took him to a building down to the river where Scrooge got his first job. They went inside and seated behind a desk. Scrooge spotted Fezziwig. Well, I'll be darned. It's old Fezziwig alive again. And there's Dick Wilkins. He was a good boy. We got along great. He liked me. Okay, everybody, it's Christmas Eve. You can knock off and have yourself a good time. You better lock up, Dick. Sure, right away, Mr. Fezziwig. Don't look so unhappy up in the air. It's Christmas. Come on home with me and tear into a big turkey. All locked up, Dick. Yes, sir. Ready up in each ear. Yes, sir. Okay, let's go and have Merry Christmas, you two. Merry Christmas, Mr. Fezziwig. Merry Christmas. Then the spirit took Scrooge over to Fezziwig's house and they saw the wonderful party that Mrs. Fezziwig had gotten together. Scrooge watched and remembered and the spirit said, wasn't Fezziwig a stupid, sentimental old goat? Oh, yeah. Well, let me tell you something. He was a great guy. He was, you know... What, Scrooge? I was just thinking about Bob Cratchit, who works for me. I think I'd like to do something for him. You know, he's got a wife and four kids. Is that right? Yeah, four kids. Come on, I've seen enough. Okay, but you've got to see these things if you want to get squared away. And believe me, brother, you need squaring away. Let's go home, Scrooge. Before you knew it, Scrooge was back in his little room and the spirit was gone. Scrooge was pretty beat and he climbed in the bed and dropped into a heavy sleep. Huh? What's that? It's two o'clock. Hey, that light in the other room, I got burglars. Hey, Scrooge. Scrooge, come on in. Who's that? What are you doing in the other room? Come on in. Take a look. It's pretty nifty. Hey, what is this? What have you done to the room? It looks like Macy's window. Where'd you get all the holly and the mistletoe? And how'd you get it in here? You like it? Oh, for Pete's sake, a Christmas tree. Who are you? The ghost of Christmas present. Now, don't tell me you don't like the way I fix things up. I work pretty hard. Oh, the second ghost. Okay, take me wherever you want to go, but believe me, the next time I try the train. Come on, let's go. Now, what do you see? I see bright colored lights, people having a lot of fun, kids on sleighs. See that building over there, the one with a big wreath on the front door? I got 20-20. That's where Bob Cratchit lives. He works for me. Hey, look, there's Bob now. Yes, going into the house. Up all those stairs to the fifth floor, and he's got his little boy on his back. Tiny tin. Yeah, got polio last summer. Pretty sick little boy. I know. Bob said he'd need a lot of care if he was ever going to walk again. Let's take a peek. Hi. Hello, honey. You and Tim have a good time? Best. Didn't we, Tim? Yeah, Dad. We watched all the kids on the block on their sled. Ma, will I ever be able to ride a sled? Of course, Tim. Won't he, dear? Sure thing, Roughneck. Next Christmas, you'll be out there doing belly whoppers with the rest of them. Dad, what's the matter? Your eyes are all wet. Nothing, Tim. I just got some snow in them. Want some dinner, Tim? Oh, Mom, stew for Christmas. I'm sorry, Tim. Oh, that's okay, Mom. I like stew. Bob, will you please say grace? Can I say something first, Mom? Of course, Tim. What would you like to say? God bless us. Everyone. What's the matter, Scrooge, old boy? Got some snow in your eyes, too? Tell me something. Sure, if I can. What about Tiny Tim? Can't say for sure. If his old man makes enough money next year to get the right doctor, his little Tim will get along just fine. But times are tough, aren't they, Scrooge? Yeah. Now the spirit of Christmas present took Scrooge to many places and showed him a lot of happiness and a lot of misery. And finally, back to his little room, the spirit was gone. Oh, I don't know whether I can take much more of this. Then the new ghost drifted in. This was the worst yet. He was really done up for haunting. He was all dressed in black with one arm sticking out and pointing right at poor old Scrooge. This was the last one of the spirits. Scrooge's knees sounded like castanets on a reducing machine. Okay, okay. You don't have to tell me. You're the ghost of the Christmas that hasn't come yet. You I'm really scared of. The ghost took off with Scrooge right after him. The city disappeared and Scrooge found himself in the outskirts of town standing in the graveyard. The night was howling like it was mad. And as Scrooge looked down, he saw. Hey, what's this? What's this stone? The black spirit stood still and pointed. So Scrooge leaned down and pulled away the bushes and saw it was a tombstone. There's a name here. Ebenezer Scrooge. Oh no, no, look not this. Believe me, I don't want this. I know I've done wrong, but I'm not kidding. I really know what Christmas means. It doesn't mean just today or tomorrow. It's every day, every day of your life. I swear I'll do better. Only take me away from this. Let me try. Let me try to make Christmas right for me and everybody else. Please don't let this happen. Give me another chance. Well, don't just stand there. Put your arm back in. You'll catch cold. Well, say something. Suddenly Scrooge dropped to his knees and reached out for the spirit. But something happened. The spirit started to shrink. Then it collapsed. And when Scrooge looked up. What the hell? My bedpost. My own bedpost. I'm home. Oh, thank goodness. I lived the past and the present and the future and now I'm home. Hallelujah. Spirits, wherever you are, believe me. From now on, things are going to be different. Oh, yeah. And thanks. Paper! Mine and paper! Hey, boy! Yeah? What day is this? It's Christmas. What's with you? Christmas? Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. I haven't missed it. The spooks did it all in one night. Boy! Yeah? Oh, it's you, Mr. Scrooge. How many papers have you got? I don't know. Why? Well, here's five bucks. Throw them away and go have yourself a Merry Christmas. Gee, thanks, Mr. Scrooge. And a Merry Christmas to you. Hey, boy, say that again. Thanks? No, no, no, the other. You mean Merry Christmas? Yeah, that's it. Merry Christmas. Okay, okay, I'm coming. What's the matter with you? Can't you see the store's closed? Look, Mr. This is... Eb. Ebenezer Scrooge. Merry Christmas, Barney. Huh? Hey, you been drinking? Not a drop. Well, what's the matter with you? Ain't you gonna wish me a Merry Christmas? Wish? Oh, sure, sure. Come on in. Wife's upstairs with her mother, but I got a bottle in the back. I think maybe you better have something, something strong. Look, your grocery store's closed, but you could still sell me a turkey, couldn't you? Well, I don't know. You got a couple, it'll just go to waste. What do you want a turkey for? You've been eating at the automat every Christmas for the last seven years. Oh, it's not for me, but nevertheless, I have been invited to my nephew Fred's house for a Christmas dinner. Well, then who's the bird for? Bob Cratchit. You know, the young guy that works for me. Oh, yeah, yeah. How much you gonna charge him? Here's 20 bucks. That ought to be enough for the bird. No, no, no, it ain't worth that much. You sure you ain't been into something? Well, if it's too much, give the rest to your kid, and have him deliver the turkey to Cratchit's house. Here's the address, and don't tell Cratchit who sent the thing. Okay? Okay. Merry Christmas, Barney. Yeah, Merry Christmas. Well, old Scrooge went back to his rooms and took an aunt, took out an old blue suit, out of the mothball. He shook it out, put a few creases in it, went out into the street. The old boy was really with it. Everybody he passed, he greeted them with Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Oh, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Scrooge went to church and gave a large donation, and Father McCarthy nearly forgot his sermon. And then Scrooge went out on the street again and down into the Bowery. Oh, God bless you, sir, and a Merry Christmas. Isn't it though? He kept walking and having a great time. Later that afternoon, he arrived at his nephew's house. Well, what the... Merry Christmas, Fred. I've come to dinner. Oh, my gosh. Here, I brought you some presents. Oh, my gosh. Now, don't thank me. It's Christmas, remember? Oh, my gosh. Next morning, Scrooge was early at the office. If he could just catch Cratchit coming in late, and he did. Bob was a good 21 minutes late. Cratchit? Oh, no. You're 21 minutes late. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, Mr. Scrooge. I had a big evening last night. You did, huh? You know when I told you if I caught you fancy footin' in here late again. Okay, so I'm canned. You think you got it coming? Oh, I'm too tired to argue, Mr. Scrooge. Jobs are tough enough, and I hate to lose this one, but I'm just too tired. A raise would help, huh? That's the silliest question of the year. Then you got it. It's in that envelope. What? Yeah, and maybe after we see how the funds are, we can do something about Tiny Tim. I don't get it. A raise? You want to do something about Tim? I don't get it. Sure you do, Bob. Haven't you heard? It's Christmas. Now, go on home, take the day off. Take the week off. Come back when you feel like it. Merry Christmas. Mr. Scrooge? Yeah, yeah. Merry Christmas. And Scrooge really did it. He was as good as his word, better even. He made it the merriest Christmas ever. And later things got better, and he took care of Tiny Tim. And sure enough, Tim was out on his sled the next Christmas doing belly whoppers with the best of them. Every Christmas thereafter, all along the big street, it was said, if anyone knew how to make Christmas merry, old Ebenezer Scrooge was that one. And I hope that can really be said about all of us, just like Tiny Tim said. God bless us, everyone. That's right, Tim. God bless us, everyone. Oh, Rick. Yes, Ellen? That was wonderful. Not quite the way Dickens wrote it, but it meant the same thing. Oh, you really like it, baby? Oh, I loved it. No reason in the world why old Scrooge couldn't have been living right here today. You've got the spirit, and that's what counts. How did you like it, Walt? Rick, I gotta hand it to you. It was really great. Lieutenant. Yeah, what is it, Otis? How'd I do in the play? You were magnificent, Sergeant. You know, I bet if I studied for a couple of weeks, I'd get me a part on Broadway. To be or not to be, that's the question. Oh, no. Now, Walt, leave him alone. Oh, sure, sure. Uh, Monsieur Otis. Huh? Wouldst thou accompany me over to the punch bowl for a short flagon of nectar? Sure, I wouldst. See you later, Helen, Rick. Yeah. Come on, Barrymore. Let's see if the punch bowl fits your head. Oh, aren't they lovely? You want something to eat? Uh, hey, wait a minute. What's the matter? Listen. They're all here by this window. Come on, let's go listen. Oh, wasn't that wonderful, Rick? Oh, it sure was. Rick, sing something with them. Oh, no, honey, I don't want to last up to you. Please, Rick. Come on. All right, all right. I'll tell you what I'll do. Everybody usually sings Christmas songs about snow. I'm going to sing one about sunshine. It's called Melikuliki Maka. Melikuliki Maka? Well, that means Merry Christmas in Hawaiian. In Hawaiian? Sure. It's a brand new song. They love it over there, and we love it here. Melikuliki Maka is the thing to say, and how holy Maka he is. Oh, that's our Christmas greeting in a Vahine and a happy new year too. With the hope that Christmas may be green and bright, the sun to shine by day and all the stars that night. Melikuliki Maka is a Vahine's way to say Merry Christmas to you. With the hope that Christmas may be green and bright, the sun to shine by day and all the stars that night. Melikuliki Maka is Hawaii's way to say Merry Christmas to you. Oh, Rick, Merry Christmas. Yes, and a Merry Christmas to everybody. Come and behold him, born the King of Angels. Oh, come let us adore him. Oh, come let us adore him. Oh, come let us adore him. Christ the Lord. Down in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, radio station WBRE today is celebrating its silver anniversary of serving the people of the coal country with better programming. From all of us in Hollywood, congratulations to NBC affiliate WBRE on 25 years of broadcasting and best wishes for another 25. Dick Powell as Richard Diamond, Private Detective, will return to the air on a new day and time, Sunday, January 15. Till then, this is Eddie King relaying our best wishes for the holiday season. Now here, home for Christmas and hop along Cassidy on NBC.
